Disclaimer - I don't own Digimon. I stole the title of this chapter off my favorite David Usher song, which I also don't own.

I was extremely bored when I began writing this because all my friends left me to be bored and lonely... love you guys! *hugs them all*

Anyway, enjoy my weird, weird Taito. You may think I'm deranged after reading it. It also gets a bit twisted in future chapters.

Guardian Angel
Alone in the Universe
by Sapphire Goddess


Come on, Tai! Open the damn door!

I winced, but continued to ignore the yelling of Davis. He would go away eventually; my so-called friends always did.



It was a different voice this time, owned by Kari. Why did she have to come? It was no question that I've always had a weakness for her, especially when she sounded determined.

You can't hide in there forever! she continued to shout, pounding on the door. At this, I could hear Davis in the background commenting on what a woman' she was.

Groaning, my head fell back against the couch. The words began sinking in, and I knew they were right: I couldn't hide in his apartment forever. There was a time that I could hide in here, but at this point, I shouldn't. It's been six months since the accident... Six horrible months.

Standing, I walked to the door and continued listening to the arguing from outside the door. Kari was still yelling at me, but Davis was talking to someone who I soon recognized as TK.

TK. Such a boy, a boy without a brother now.

Frowning at the thought, I leaned against the door and began to wonder if they would ever go away. My head began throbbing, and the consistent pounding by Kari was not helping any.

Tai, if you don't open up right now, I'm going to-

Deciding I didn't want to hear the ending of that sentence, I opened the door and stared at the shocked faces of the younger trio. I rarely opened the door, especially to a group. It wasn't that I didn't like to see people, but when there was more than once person, it was hard to keep my eyes on them all. They were always staring at me, making it an uncomfortable environment to be in. When there was just once person in the room, I could keep my eyes on them and see just how they were looking at me.

It's about time, Kari said softly, tilting her head. You look awful.

I said hoarsely, realizing just how awful my voice sounded. I guess it has been a while since I spoke.

Can we come in? Davis asked hopefully, smiling.

I don't know. Can you?

Davis broke out into a fit of giggles whilst Kari and TK seemed to force a laugh after a few moments, both looking extremely worried.

May we come in? Kari asked once Davis settled down, after giving him a harsh look.

Of course, I said, moving out of the way. After they were in and I shut the door, I offered them something to eat, and with great reluctance from Davis, they all refused.

It's Mom's birthday in a week, Kari said, smiling nervously. Her lips kept twitching, and right away I knew she was forcing it.

Just cut to the chase, Kari. I don't give a fuck about Mom's birthday, I said, sitting in my armchair beside the window. It's where I sat most of the time, and as everyone said, I was wasting my life away' in this chair. There was no reading or watching television in this chair. It was more interesting to see people walking about in their petty lives rather than see who won the latest soccer match.

Kari glanced to her left at TK, who was deep in thoughts not looking back at her. She then turned to Davis, who was staring at the TV, as if it was actually on a channel to watch. Frowning, she turned her attention back to me and said, You're scaring everyone.

At this, both TK and Davis' attention were caught and they both seemed to be staring at me for a reaction. I hated their looks: both had the sympathetic expression on, trying to understand what I was thinking.

I don't get why you bother coming here to tell me that you think I'm scaring everyone', I said, well aware that my voice was rising. From the look on TK's face, he could see it too.

Tai, we're just trying to help you, Kari said timidly, scooting closer to Davis. She looked scared of me, and I hoped she was. Why was she always consistently bothering me?

Helping and annoying are two very different things, I said, trying my hardest to give them a hint that I didn't want their supposed help'. Why would I? They didn't understand the pain to lose a loved one, a soul mate.

Why do I even bother? You don't even care about your life anymore, Kari said, standing up. She wiped her eyes that left me presuming she was on the brink of crying, and began walking to the door where she proceeded to leave.

Go comfort her, TK said, pointing at the door. I'll catch up in a bit.

Davis nodded and smiled feebly at me before running out of the door to catch up with my sister. I was well aware of TK looking at me, but I decided to ignore him. Maybe he would leave as well. It was such a mistake to let them in.

You have to move on, Taichi.

The very essence of him using my full name caused me to shiver and I looked at him, straight in the eye; eyes that looked so similar to Matt's, yet didn't hold a cup cake to the depth in them. TK looked so much older, so much wiser since I last took a good look at him. I guess he's really grown since Matt's death.

Matt's death. I swallowed and tried not thinking about it, but already that pit in my stomach began from every time thinking about it. All these months without him has eaten a part of me away, just like the bugs in the earth eating Matt's rotting body. The thought made me feel sick, and if it weren't for TK's interruption, I would have been sick on the carpet.

Matt's dead, TK said, trembling the words slightly. He's never coming back and you have to accept it. Move on. Find another person to love. You can still-

I'm just supposed to find another person to love and call my soul mate? I spent six years in love with Matt, TK! Six fucking years that I never thought would end, and they did. They ended with his death, I said, my voice cracking slightly. I hated that I was so weak talking about his death, but I couldn't help it. I loved him so much and he left me behind in this cruel world where I was constantly bothered by my sister and her friends.

I'm not saying that, TK argued back, flinging his arms in emphasis. But there are other people to fall in love with! My brother wasn't the only person in the world.

How could you say that? I asked, shaking my head in disbelief. Matt was his own relative, his brother. To say that was like he didn't care that Matt was dead.

Tai, you're pushing everyone away! We care about you and I know it was hard when my brother died. Believe me: it was. But there's nothing we can do to change that, and I know for a fact that he would have wanted us to live on, TK said softly, resting his hand upon my shoulder. He looked concern and unhappy, whilst making me more annoyed by the minute. I wanted to be alone; I wanted the others to go away and just leave me be. Why couldn't they understand that?

You don't understand! I want him back!

He's never coming back! He's dead, Tai. He's dead! He was on the highway when that sleeping truck driver ran into him! TK yelled, and he looked as if he was going to cry. I wouldn't blame him if he did, I wanted to as well. He blinked as I continued to stare at him, and a sympathetic expression came upon his face. I'm sorry, Tai. You know all of this and you don't need me reminding you.

Just leave, TK. My sister needs you, I said, shrugging his hand off my shoulder and turning around.

You're impossible to get through! You're going to wind up all alone, Tai. When you finally realize the way you're dealing with Matt's death is a mistake, it'll be too late, TK whispered, and I could hear him shuffling behind me towards the front door. However, I refuse to give up. Kari and I are coming here tomorrow morning. See you then.

The front door slammed before I could shout back a refusal, and I found myself sighing, wishing they would just let me be. Oh great, it's going to be a fun start to the day tomorrow. With thoughts of annoyance towards the others, I went to my room with hope of getting some rest.

I went inside and passed by the mirror, catching a glimpse of how I looked. Kari wasn't kidding: I looked awful. My brown hair was wilder than usual and my brown eyes looked dull and tired; even I could see this.

Frowning at my reflection, I grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a sorry for your loss' ornament of some sort that Mimi had sent me a few months ago and threw it at the mirror. It shattered into millions of pieces and I couldn't help but bend on my knees and stare at the broken shards of glass. Picking up a piece and running my finger across the edge, it left a tiny red mark that faded in a minute; this edge wasn't sharp. However, the next piece I found was sharper and unintentionally, it cut my thumb.

I said, bringing my thumb to my mouth. I began to suck the blood, and I couldn't help but admit that it's taste was satisfying; I wanted to taste more of it.

Oh great, I've turned into a vampire. It's just what I need to make my life more complete. I now love the taste of blood. Lovely.

I walked towards my bed and laid in it, pulling the covers over my head. It was my secure place. Well, my chair was too, but this more so. It was my bed that comforted me through the long weeks after Matt's death, and the continuing days of his absence in my life. I could just lay here all day and somehow the pain would go away.

I closed my eyes, allowing my thoughts to drift towards Matt. He used to lay in this bed, next to me. I would hold him and kiss him while he laid in my arms, telling me how much he loved me. I knew what he said was true, and he knew I felt the same, but I resented him for leaving me. Why couldn't he just hold on and try keeping awake instead of falling conscience when trapped in his bloody car?

A tear slid down my face as I realized how much pain he would have been in if he would have continued to remain awake. Would it have been worth it though? If he would have went through pain staying awake as rescue workers tried freeing him from his mangled car, would it have been worth it to live his life? I wasn't so sure. Maybe it was better for him to escape the pain he went through sometimes. It wasn't anything serious, but he always had horrible fights with his father over his sexuality. Maybe it was better for him to dye instead of keep living.

This thought caused me to frown because wasn't I worth enough for him living? Then again, maybe he couldn't help but fall unconscious. Maybe he was meant to be an angel in heaven. I know that while on earth, he was my angel. Not only just an angel, but my guardian angel. He watched over me and protected me, and I hadn't realized how much he had done for me while I lived, but he was there for me all of the time.

I closed my eyes and reopened them, then repeated the slow blinking motion. Maybe he was someone else's guardian angel now, watching over them. Only now, he was actually a dead angel whilst with me he was alive.

[No, I am afraid not.]

My brow tightened when I heard a voice, and almost instantly I recognized it. It was a soothing voice, one that I had grown to love over the main years we had known each other; it was a voice I hadn't heard for six months.

Opening my eyes, I saw him. Beautiful with a golden aura around him. He wasn't wearing any white robe that you would see on television, but was wearing the black jeans and shirt he had died in. Yet, even with the dark clothing, there was still something lighter about him, more mystical.

With this glimpse of him, I gasped and felt myself going light headed. My eyes shut and darkness swam over me.


End of Chapter 1.


Well, this is weird, isn't it? I know it may seem confusing, but just trust me with this cause I have a really good idea .