Evangelion Fan Fiction Episode 11: Finale / To the beginning.
The nothingness continued. Shinji wept bitterly. He began to thrash around with his arms, and then he kicked at the empty space with his feet. He twisted his body, and shook his head.
But the silence continued.
"This…this can't be…"Shinji said, "This has to be a bad dream."
No answer came from anywhere.
"Somebody, anybody, answer me! Misato-san, Asuka, Ayanami!" He paused, no voices came, "Ristuko-san, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari!" He swallowed his tears, "mother, father…somebody…please…let me out of this…" He took a deep breath, and his whole body shuddered like a wounded animal.
He struggled for a while more, finally, his body went limp, as he curled up, exhausted from fatigue. There was nothing to support him. He wasn't relaxed; he was tired. He felt like dying.
"This…is…the…end…" Shinji whispered; his eyelids were getting heavier than lead. "Good…goodbye…" Shinji closed his eyes. Everything has gone dark…he thought before he passed out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Is this it?
Shinji sensed something.
Gone…all gone…
He stirred.
Love…despair…
He "sensed" himself talking.
Absurd…pointless…
He felt something inside him trembled.
Pain…want…need…
He felt his chest ache.
But there is no one out there, just like there is no one in here…
His heart leaped, and he wanted something.
Why bother? Stay here. Nothingness looks good on you.
His thoughts…Was he thinking?
Why bother exist?
…He tried to breathe…
They are gone. No more. Never again.
…!…Shinji moved his body.
Meaningless…meaningless…
Shinji felt he sat up.
Pain…can't endure…no more pain…
Shinji felt he stood up.
Don't…hurt me…don't get close to me…
"That's enough." Shinji said sternly. He walked forward, his arms stretched out in front of him, and he began to tear at something with his hands. "No more running away, no more." He said forcefully.
But there is nothing, all there is left is despair…
"Unless I do something about it." Shinji said firmly.
Gone…gone…
"Ok, that's it." Shinji started to claw at something fiercely. "Look, I have had enough of this psychological bullshit since the beginning of this whole show that myself had put on in front of this world." He began to rip it apart, "I know this is probably been said before over and over again so much, that even as a cliché, it's tiring, but," he caught his breath, and started to dig at it with determination, "it really comes down to this: whether I do something about it, or I don't do anything, absolutely anything at all."
You can't do everything.
"You are damned right! But I can't sit on my ass and vegetate, or feel sorry for myself, so I may as well do something about it."
Even though it is meaningless?
"Again, more clichés, but when I do something, it means something. So shut the hell up and watch me work." Shinji spat, and then he began to rip at the opening that he created.
They are gone, you know.
"No." Shinji said firmly. "You know what I realized here? I've been given a second chance to do something about this mess of a world, and I fucked it up really good. But no more. And no matter what, I am going to see all of them again, even if only for one last time."
You are just being corny.
"And you are getting on my nerves." Shinji spat, "so either shut the fuck up, or get the hell lost, because I am never ever listening to you again."
Why leave?
"Because I can't stay here." Shinji said, with that, the voice was gone. He shook his head violently. His head felt really clear for the first time this week…if time meant anything here.
He grabbed a hold of two pieces of something large, and with all the strength he had left, he pulled them apart with great difficulty.
"Grahhhh!!!" He grunted, the sound boomed and shook his whole existence, and the world that he created. The space around him trembled and vibrated like a level 12 earthquake shaking the city of Tokyo-3
There was no light coming forth, and there were no explosions. No lightings and thunders flashed and boomed across the sky. Shinji strained his eyes to look around, but couldn't see anything. "Am…I blind…?" Shinji exclaimed as he tried harder to take in his surroundings. But it was no use. There were no lights, no stars, no moon, and no sun.
Darkness greeted him, while the void that he emerged from vanished.
Shinji quickly turned around, hoping that he heard something, or someone, but silence embraced him as he listened for a word, or a sound. He reached out with his senses, but received nothing in return.
Nothing.
Shinji took a deep breath, "ok, let's go," he mumbled. "I can't stay here, anyway." He paused for a second after he took a step, then he tightened his lips, and started to walk. With his arms extended in front of him, Shinji started to feel his way toward something.
Where should I go? Shinji wondered, where can I go?
He slowly felt his way as he walked toward an unknown destination. He walked slowly, and made sure he didn't trip over something before he took a step. After a few wobbly steps, and a few near falls, he straightened up his body, and started to walk in a continuous pace. Few more steps after that, he pulled back his arms, and started to walk normally.
He listened as he walked, but he still didn't hear anything, and the darkness continued to swallow him in as he went on. "Anyone? Anyone?" He called, but he heard no answers. He wanted a hug, but no arms reached toward him; he wanted a word of encouragement, but no voices spoke to him.
I…Am I out? He wondered, or am I still trapped? He reached out with his arms again, but he couldn't find anything to grab a hold onto. He anxiously swung his arms around him, but he found nothing to get a feel on.
Why? Why am I still in a void? Shinji asked silently. He felt ground underneath his feet through his shoes, but other than that…Is there a sky above my head? He narrowed his eyes as he made a great effort to see what's over his head. There seemed to be something, but he frowned as he looked on.
After a few more steps, he sat down. He hung his head, while he felt his aching neck with his hands. This is too much…Shinji thought miserably. I…there is nothing out here. For all I went through, I still got nothing out of this.
Shinji hugged himself, he felt cold, hungry, and tired.
"Maybe I should just stop, and rot here. After all that, I still can't find what I was looking for." Tears fell off his face, and fell on the ground. He sobbed.
"I can't believe it…not like this…not after what I went through." Shinji closed his eyes, but that didn't make a difference in the darkness that surrounded him. "My…my chest…my chest hurts…" He put his right hand on his chest, and he felt longing stinging him from inside his chest.
"Is this it…? Is my life finally at an end?" Shinji looked up at what he perceived as a sky. He shouted with all his strength: "Is this it? I have had enough of this. Let me die. Let me disappear! Let me return to nothingness!"
He listened as his plea dissipated into the darkness. His chest still hurts.
No…Shinji grabbed his chest, this is not over yet…I still need to see them, I still need to do something…he stood up, I am not finished yet, not this time.
Something stirred in his memory, somebody he knew, said something to him. Shinji tried to remember: Look at me, here I am watering these plants; I can't do anything, but you, you have the power to do something…
"I can't really remember what he said," Shinji said with an exasperated voice, "and it sounds corny to me, but despite the fact I've heard that one before, he was right." He sighed, "It's not over yet." And stood up. He collected himself, and started to walk again.
He felt more and more drained as he struggled to stay on his feet, thoughts of sitting down and give up haunted him like these voices and images that he saw all week. What day is today? He wondered. Does it matter? I would've been in school today, if today is Saturday, for half a day, and maybe Rei and I would've gone to the shopping district, and…
He shook his head, that world was not real! His voice screamed inside his head.
But…maybe Asuka would come over to my house, and we could watch TV, and afterwards, we could go to the park…
He hit his head a couple of times; this isn't helping!
He looked back at where he had started from, even though there was nothing, he thought he saw that space he was in. He turned to look at it…
No! I can't! I can't go back there! Shinji smacked his face a couple of times, shook his head, and turned around, and started to walk again.
The dark night continued. At least he thought it was night. His legs wobbled, and he started to feel sick. He steadied himself before he continued again. But his steps had gotten smaller, and he was dragging his feet forward. His head was spinning, while his muscles ached.
"Oh God, this is too much." Shinji prayed silently, "let this end, please…" He lost his footing, and he fell hard on his face.
But there was no end, and he had nowhere to go.
"Got…got to…" Shinji managed, "see…see them one more time…before I die…" He started to crawl forward. I still have to see them. Even if…
Even if they are all dead? He shuddered. "No…now is… not the time to think about it…got…got to get somewhere…" Shinji muttered, and continued to crawl.
After what he thought was 20 minutes, Shinji slowed down. His stomach had stopped growling long ago, even though he needed to eat something, but his throat remained parched. He hadn't had sleep for God knows how long, and his muscles were not coordinating well with each other. He lowed his head. "I…" He paused.
There, in the distance near the horizon…
Shinji frowned at it, that little bit of light…
"The sun! The sun is up!" Shinji was overjoyed. He stood up on his wobbly legs, and ran toward it. He tripped over a few things, and fell on his face a few times, but he got up and ran again. He had a big grin. His body ached and trembled as he made his way through rubbles and other things scattered all over what he saw was the ruins of probably Tokyo-3. The morning sun had crept slowly up from the horizon line, and Shinji began to see clearly where he was heading.
The city of Tokyo-3 was a seaport, and Shinji found himself sprinting toward a beach. He could hear the sea. At least he thought it was the sea. As his feet made contact with the sand, he took off his shoes, and danced on the beach.
After a few minutes of celebration, he stopped, and found a place to sit and watch the sunrise.
The sun had painted the water gold as the light covered most of the surface of the sea. There were still shadows near where Shinji sat, but the sun's rays were chasing them away. Shinji's brooding mood was fleeting from his heart, as the sun had moved up further. The brilliant red-gold color started to spread and the water closer to Shinji was being painted with the same warmth and brightness. At least he felt warm.
He sighed.
"I am…I am alive…" Shinji looked around him, and up, "but…but I am still alone…" He hugged his knees, "I tried to be brave, and I broke out of that world that I made, but…but now I am left with myself, just like before…" Shinji sighed again, he paused, and tears began to well up in his eyes. "I still need to see you all, one last time." He closed his eyes, and chanted: "Misato-san, Asuka, Ayanami…Ritsuko-san, mother…father…Toji…Kensuke…" He couldn't remember the other names well; he was too tired and too hungry, but he silently called out to them anyway.
He repeated and repeated.
"Ikari-kun." A female said behind him. He didn't turn, but he smiled and nodded.
"Welcome back." Shinji said calmly.
"Why?" The female asked.
Shinji smiled. He didn't open his mouth.
"Shinji-kun. How?" Another female said behind him. Again, he only nodded and smiled.
"Welcome back." Shinji said.
"You've…you did well." She said with a light sob, while trying to sound cheerful.
"Not too terrible. Could've done worse." Shinji said succinctly. But he didn't lose his smile.
"And could've done better." A third female voice said. "You are still an idiot."
Shinji smirked. He thought of all that had happened to him.
"Where is everyone else?" He asked.
"…I am sorry…"The older female said, "I am afraid all you are going to find, if you find them, are dead bodies." She paused, "…I am not real either…I mean, I don't know how I am here, but I know I can't stay long."
"That's ok, Misato-san," Shinji turned around, and tried to hug her, but he embraced only air, "I am just glad to see you one last time."
"Shinji-kun, you know I…" Misato hesitated, "I care for you. I used you as man to have around the apartment when I am lonely, and yeah, part of me cared for you out of duty, but…"
"I know." Shinji said, "you've told me what you needed to say before." He braced himself, "but I need to tell you what I've never really told you clearly." He kissed Misato on her right cheek. "I love you. You are my family. I care for you a lot. I wish you could stay with me forever. As a sister, as…as a guardian, as someone that sticks around." He smiled through his tears, "I love you, Misato-san."
"Oh God, Shinji' I wish I can stay with you, but I…I think whatever the power that's holding me here is fading, and so am I…" Misato started to disappear.
"Goodbye, Misato-san. I will try to always remember that you are near." Shinji said while choking back his tears.
Misato was gone.
Rei and Asuka were crying silently. Shinji sighed, and fought back his tears; he stood up and walked close to them.
"Ikari-kun…Shinji-kun…I…" Rei struggled to speak through her tears, even though she wasn't sobbing, "I don't think I can stay here either. My body is really gone, and my essence is going to disappear, too." She reached out with her hand, "I…I remember everything…"
"That's good, Aya…Rei. I am glad that you remember." Shinji swallowed hard his tears, "please take all the memories you have with you." Shinji managed.
"Both pain and joy?" Rei said with some uncertainty.
"Both pain and joy." Shinji whispered. He held Rei close to him. Their faces were inches away from each other's
"You were like my mother, I think I was attracted to you because of that, but I care for you as a person, a human being. I care for you because you are Ayanami Rei." He kissed her on her forehead, "You…I know this sounds corny, but you have a special place in my heart. You always will…"
Rei was starting to fade; Shinji held her even tighter, but it was useless. He couldn't retain her essence.
"I've got to tell you something, "Rei said quickly, "I…I love…" She vanished, just as the words came out of her mouth, "love you…" The wind blew, and she faded away.
"Goodbye Rei. You will always be with me." Shinji whispered.
He turned to Asuka. Oh God please don't let her disappear too…otherwise, I don't think I can hold on…
Asuka looked at him, her red hair flowed freely in the wind, and her eyes were unreadable.
"Well…"Asuka said with difficulty, "heh, I didn't even get to say goodbye, and apologize to wonder girl, and Misato." She sighed. "Stupid Shinji…"
Shinji hesitated, he reached out with his arms slowly.
Asuka took his arms, and wrapped herself in them.
"Silly Shinji, are you worried that I would go with them, too?" She said with a slight smirk.
"I…Asuka, I…" Shinji struggled to speak. I wish I could just tell her…
"Yeah, yeah, sure. You are just going to go all teary-eyed, and tell me that you love me, and you wish I would stick around." She paused, and tilted her head, "that is so disgusting."
"I…I am so…"Shinji stuttered.
"Don't say it." Asuka cut him off quickly, "after all we went through, did you not learn anything at all?" Asuka said with a wink. At least Shinji thought she winked. He liked the way she said 'we.'
"We?" Shinji said carefully.
"Yes, we! You stupid idiot!" She looked at the sea, then to the side, "let's go."
"Go?" Shinji was incredulous, "go where? I thought…I thought you…"
"Oh, you thought that I would disappear, too huh?" Asuka dropped Shinji's arm. She was pouting, but her eyes were smiling, "well, then, Mr. Idiot, how about I leave you here with yourself, and you can go back to your Instrumentality world, and be happy by yourself?" She said while mockingly angry, "goodbye, Shinji, I'll miss you…" she turned, and her face was cracking into a huge grin. "Oomph!" She said as Shinji ran into her and held her waist from behind.
"Wherever you are going, I am going with you." He said firmly. "You can't leave me here by myself."
Asuka sighed, "I guess I am stuck with this idiot." Then she laughed. The morning sun had come up and made the ruins of Tokyo-3 bright and shiny, and the sea was sparkling like it was filled with crystals.
"Well, let's go then, Mr. Idiot." Asuka said with a bright smile.
"Where to?" Shinji asked.
"Wherever life will be." Asuka whispered.
The two of them laughed and argued, as they ran far, far down the beach. The sun was shining brightly, and the wind softly blown across the beach, which was littered with debris, garbage, and articles of clothing, among other things. Shinji paused, and took a moment to soak in the air, the sun, the wind, and Asuka's scent. He beamed.
"Congratulations, Ikari Shinji-kun." Shinji whispered.
They started running again, further and further down the beach. They became small dots in the distance as their bodies started to disappear into the horizon, and finally, they disappeared from the view.
The nothingness continued. Shinji wept bitterly. He began to thrash around with his arms, and then he kicked at the empty space with his feet. He twisted his body, and shook his head.
But the silence continued.
"This…this can't be…"Shinji said, "This has to be a bad dream."
No answer came from anywhere.
"Somebody, anybody, answer me! Misato-san, Asuka, Ayanami!" He paused, no voices came, "Ristuko-san, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari!" He swallowed his tears, "mother, father…somebody…please…let me out of this…" He took a deep breath, and his whole body shuddered like a wounded animal.
He struggled for a while more, finally, his body went limp, as he curled up, exhausted from fatigue. There was nothing to support him. He wasn't relaxed; he was tired. He felt like dying.
"This…is…the…end…" Shinji whispered; his eyelids were getting heavier than lead. "Good…goodbye…" Shinji closed his eyes. Everything has gone dark…he thought before he passed out.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Is this it?
Shinji sensed something.
Gone…all gone…
He stirred.
Love…despair…
He "sensed" himself talking.
Absurd…pointless…
He felt something inside him trembled.
Pain…want…need…
He felt his chest ache.
But there is no one out there, just like there is no one in here…
His heart leaped, and he wanted something.
Why bother? Stay here. Nothingness looks good on you.
His thoughts…Was he thinking?
Why bother exist?
…He tried to breathe…
They are gone. No more. Never again.
…!…Shinji moved his body.
Meaningless…meaningless…
Shinji felt he sat up.
Pain…can't endure…no more pain…
Shinji felt he stood up.
Don't…hurt me…don't get close to me…
"That's enough." Shinji said sternly. He walked forward, his arms stretched out in front of him, and he began to tear at something with his hands. "No more running away, no more." He said forcefully.
But there is nothing, all there is left is despair…
"Unless I do something about it." Shinji said firmly.
Gone…gone…
"Ok, that's it." Shinji started to claw at something fiercely. "Look, I have had enough of this psychological bullshit since the beginning of this whole show that myself had put on in front of this world." He began to rip it apart, "I know this is probably been said before over and over again so much, that even as a cliché, it's tiring, but," he caught his breath, and started to dig at it with determination, "it really comes down to this: whether I do something about it, or I don't do anything, absolutely anything at all."
You can't do everything.
"You are damned right! But I can't sit on my ass and vegetate, or feel sorry for myself, so I may as well do something about it."
Even though it is meaningless?
"Again, more clichés, but when I do something, it means something. So shut the hell up and watch me work." Shinji spat, and then he began to rip at the opening that he created.
They are gone, you know.
"No." Shinji said firmly. "You know what I realized here? I've been given a second chance to do something about this mess of a world, and I fucked it up really good. But no more. And no matter what, I am going to see all of them again, even if only for one last time."
You are just being corny.
"And you are getting on my nerves." Shinji spat, "so either shut the fuck up, or get the hell lost, because I am never ever listening to you again."
Why leave?
"Because I can't stay here." Shinji said, with that, the voice was gone. He shook his head violently. His head felt really clear for the first time this week…if time meant anything here.
He grabbed a hold of two pieces of something large, and with all the strength he had left, he pulled them apart with great difficulty.
"Grahhhh!!!" He grunted, the sound boomed and shook his whole existence, and the world that he created. The space around him trembled and vibrated like a level 12 earthquake shaking the city of Tokyo-3
There was no light coming forth, and there were no explosions. No lightings and thunders flashed and boomed across the sky. Shinji strained his eyes to look around, but couldn't see anything. "Am…I blind…?" Shinji exclaimed as he tried harder to take in his surroundings. But it was no use. There were no lights, no stars, no moon, and no sun.
Darkness greeted him, while the void that he emerged from vanished.
Shinji quickly turned around, hoping that he heard something, or someone, but silence embraced him as he listened for a word, or a sound. He reached out with his senses, but received nothing in return.
Nothing.
Shinji took a deep breath, "ok, let's go," he mumbled. "I can't stay here, anyway." He paused for a second after he took a step, then he tightened his lips, and started to walk. With his arms extended in front of him, Shinji started to feel his way toward something.
Where should I go? Shinji wondered, where can I go?
He slowly felt his way as he walked toward an unknown destination. He walked slowly, and made sure he didn't trip over something before he took a step. After a few wobbly steps, and a few near falls, he straightened up his body, and started to walk in a continuous pace. Few more steps after that, he pulled back his arms, and started to walk normally.
He listened as he walked, but he still didn't hear anything, and the darkness continued to swallow him in as he went on. "Anyone? Anyone?" He called, but he heard no answers. He wanted a hug, but no arms reached toward him; he wanted a word of encouragement, but no voices spoke to him.
I…Am I out? He wondered, or am I still trapped? He reached out with his arms again, but he couldn't find anything to grab a hold onto. He anxiously swung his arms around him, but he found nothing to get a feel on.
Why? Why am I still in a void? Shinji asked silently. He felt ground underneath his feet through his shoes, but other than that…Is there a sky above my head? He narrowed his eyes as he made a great effort to see what's over his head. There seemed to be something, but he frowned as he looked on.
After a few more steps, he sat down. He hung his head, while he felt his aching neck with his hands. This is too much…Shinji thought miserably. I…there is nothing out here. For all I went through, I still got nothing out of this.
Shinji hugged himself, he felt cold, hungry, and tired.
"Maybe I should just stop, and rot here. After all that, I still can't find what I was looking for." Tears fell off his face, and fell on the ground. He sobbed.
"I can't believe it…not like this…not after what I went through." Shinji closed his eyes, but that didn't make a difference in the darkness that surrounded him. "My…my chest…my chest hurts…" He put his right hand on his chest, and he felt longing stinging him from inside his chest.
"Is this it…? Is my life finally at an end?" Shinji looked up at what he perceived as a sky. He shouted with all his strength: "Is this it? I have had enough of this. Let me die. Let me disappear! Let me return to nothingness!"
He listened as his plea dissipated into the darkness. His chest still hurts.
No…Shinji grabbed his chest, this is not over yet…I still need to see them, I still need to do something…he stood up, I am not finished yet, not this time.
Something stirred in his memory, somebody he knew, said something to him. Shinji tried to remember: Look at me, here I am watering these plants; I can't do anything, but you, you have the power to do something…
"I can't really remember what he said," Shinji said with an exasperated voice, "and it sounds corny to me, but despite the fact I've heard that one before, he was right." He sighed, "It's not over yet." And stood up. He collected himself, and started to walk again.
He felt more and more drained as he struggled to stay on his feet, thoughts of sitting down and give up haunted him like these voices and images that he saw all week. What day is today? He wondered. Does it matter? I would've been in school today, if today is Saturday, for half a day, and maybe Rei and I would've gone to the shopping district, and…
He shook his head, that world was not real! His voice screamed inside his head.
But…maybe Asuka would come over to my house, and we could watch TV, and afterwards, we could go to the park…
He hit his head a couple of times; this isn't helping!
He looked back at where he had started from, even though there was nothing, he thought he saw that space he was in. He turned to look at it…
No! I can't! I can't go back there! Shinji smacked his face a couple of times, shook his head, and turned around, and started to walk again.
The dark night continued. At least he thought it was night. His legs wobbled, and he started to feel sick. He steadied himself before he continued again. But his steps had gotten smaller, and he was dragging his feet forward. His head was spinning, while his muscles ached.
"Oh God, this is too much." Shinji prayed silently, "let this end, please…" He lost his footing, and he fell hard on his face.
But there was no end, and he had nowhere to go.
"Got…got to…" Shinji managed, "see…see them one more time…before I die…" He started to crawl forward. I still have to see them. Even if…
Even if they are all dead? He shuddered. "No…now is… not the time to think about it…got…got to get somewhere…" Shinji muttered, and continued to crawl.
After what he thought was 20 minutes, Shinji slowed down. His stomach had stopped growling long ago, even though he needed to eat something, but his throat remained parched. He hadn't had sleep for God knows how long, and his muscles were not coordinating well with each other. He lowed his head. "I…" He paused.
There, in the distance near the horizon…
Shinji frowned at it, that little bit of light…
"The sun! The sun is up!" Shinji was overjoyed. He stood up on his wobbly legs, and ran toward it. He tripped over a few things, and fell on his face a few times, but he got up and ran again. He had a big grin. His body ached and trembled as he made his way through rubbles and other things scattered all over what he saw was the ruins of probably Tokyo-3. The morning sun had crept slowly up from the horizon line, and Shinji began to see clearly where he was heading.
The city of Tokyo-3 was a seaport, and Shinji found himself sprinting toward a beach. He could hear the sea. At least he thought it was the sea. As his feet made contact with the sand, he took off his shoes, and danced on the beach.
After a few minutes of celebration, he stopped, and found a place to sit and watch the sunrise.
The sun had painted the water gold as the light covered most of the surface of the sea. There were still shadows near where Shinji sat, but the sun's rays were chasing them away. Shinji's brooding mood was fleeting from his heart, as the sun had moved up further. The brilliant red-gold color started to spread and the water closer to Shinji was being painted with the same warmth and brightness. At least he felt warm.
He sighed.
"I am…I am alive…" Shinji looked around him, and up, "but…but I am still alone…" He hugged his knees, "I tried to be brave, and I broke out of that world that I made, but…but now I am left with myself, just like before…" Shinji sighed again, he paused, and tears began to well up in his eyes. "I still need to see you all, one last time." He closed his eyes, and chanted: "Misato-san, Asuka, Ayanami…Ritsuko-san, mother…father…Toji…Kensuke…" He couldn't remember the other names well; he was too tired and too hungry, but he silently called out to them anyway.
He repeated and repeated.
"Ikari-kun." A female said behind him. He didn't turn, but he smiled and nodded.
"Welcome back." Shinji said calmly.
"Why?" The female asked.
Shinji smiled. He didn't open his mouth.
"Shinji-kun. How?" Another female said behind him. Again, he only nodded and smiled.
"Welcome back." Shinji said.
"You've…you did well." She said with a light sob, while trying to sound cheerful.
"Not too terrible. Could've done worse." Shinji said succinctly. But he didn't lose his smile.
"And could've done better." A third female voice said. "You are still an idiot."
Shinji smirked. He thought of all that had happened to him.
"Where is everyone else?" He asked.
"…I am sorry…"The older female said, "I am afraid all you are going to find, if you find them, are dead bodies." She paused, "…I am not real either…I mean, I don't know how I am here, but I know I can't stay long."
"That's ok, Misato-san," Shinji turned around, and tried to hug her, but he embraced only air, "I am just glad to see you one last time."
"Shinji-kun, you know I…" Misato hesitated, "I care for you. I used you as man to have around the apartment when I am lonely, and yeah, part of me cared for you out of duty, but…"
"I know." Shinji said, "you've told me what you needed to say before." He braced himself, "but I need to tell you what I've never really told you clearly." He kissed Misato on her right cheek. "I love you. You are my family. I care for you a lot. I wish you could stay with me forever. As a sister, as…as a guardian, as someone that sticks around." He smiled through his tears, "I love you, Misato-san."
"Oh God, Shinji' I wish I can stay with you, but I…I think whatever the power that's holding me here is fading, and so am I…" Misato started to disappear.
"Goodbye, Misato-san. I will try to always remember that you are near." Shinji said while choking back his tears.
Misato was gone.
Rei and Asuka were crying silently. Shinji sighed, and fought back his tears; he stood up and walked close to them.
"Ikari-kun…Shinji-kun…I…" Rei struggled to speak through her tears, even though she wasn't sobbing, "I don't think I can stay here either. My body is really gone, and my essence is going to disappear, too." She reached out with her hand, "I…I remember everything…"
"That's good, Aya…Rei. I am glad that you remember." Shinji swallowed hard his tears, "please take all the memories you have with you." Shinji managed.
"Both pain and joy?" Rei said with some uncertainty.
"Both pain and joy." Shinji whispered. He held Rei close to him. Their faces were inches away from each other's
"You were like my mother, I think I was attracted to you because of that, but I care for you as a person, a human being. I care for you because you are Ayanami Rei." He kissed her on her forehead, "You…I know this sounds corny, but you have a special place in my heart. You always will…"
Rei was starting to fade; Shinji held her even tighter, but it was useless. He couldn't retain her essence.
"I've got to tell you something, "Rei said quickly, "I…I love…" She vanished, just as the words came out of her mouth, "love you…" The wind blew, and she faded away.
"Goodbye Rei. You will always be with me." Shinji whispered.
He turned to Asuka. Oh God please don't let her disappear too…otherwise, I don't think I can hold on…
Asuka looked at him, her red hair flowed freely in the wind, and her eyes were unreadable.
"Well…"Asuka said with difficulty, "heh, I didn't even get to say goodbye, and apologize to wonder girl, and Misato." She sighed. "Stupid Shinji…"
Shinji hesitated, he reached out with his arms slowly.
Asuka took his arms, and wrapped herself in them.
"Silly Shinji, are you worried that I would go with them, too?" She said with a slight smirk.
"I…Asuka, I…" Shinji struggled to speak. I wish I could just tell her…
"Yeah, yeah, sure. You are just going to go all teary-eyed, and tell me that you love me, and you wish I would stick around." She paused, and tilted her head, "that is so disgusting."
"I…I am so…"Shinji stuttered.
"Don't say it." Asuka cut him off quickly, "after all we went through, did you not learn anything at all?" Asuka said with a wink. At least Shinji thought she winked. He liked the way she said 'we.'
"We?" Shinji said carefully.
"Yes, we! You stupid idiot!" She looked at the sea, then to the side, "let's go."
"Go?" Shinji was incredulous, "go where? I thought…I thought you…"
"Oh, you thought that I would disappear, too huh?" Asuka dropped Shinji's arm. She was pouting, but her eyes were smiling, "well, then, Mr. Idiot, how about I leave you here with yourself, and you can go back to your Instrumentality world, and be happy by yourself?" She said while mockingly angry, "goodbye, Shinji, I'll miss you…" she turned, and her face was cracking into a huge grin. "Oomph!" She said as Shinji ran into her and held her waist from behind.
"Wherever you are going, I am going with you." He said firmly. "You can't leave me here by myself."
Asuka sighed, "I guess I am stuck with this idiot." Then she laughed. The morning sun had come up and made the ruins of Tokyo-3 bright and shiny, and the sea was sparkling like it was filled with crystals.
"Well, let's go then, Mr. Idiot." Asuka said with a bright smile.
"Where to?" Shinji asked.
"Wherever life will be." Asuka whispered.
The two of them laughed and argued, as they ran far, far down the beach. The sun was shining brightly, and the wind softly blown across the beach, which was littered with debris, garbage, and articles of clothing, among other things. Shinji paused, and took a moment to soak in the air, the sun, the wind, and Asuka's scent. He beamed.
"Congratulations, Ikari Shinji-kun." Shinji whispered.
They started running again, further and further down the beach. They became small dots in the distance as their bodies started to disappear into the horizon, and finally, they disappeared from the view.