Authors note:

This is also my first story in general so.. yep :D

I've got a few complaints about Josh not being in this chapter. He'll be in there soon once the next chapter is checked over for grammatical errors.

I take a breath but it just stabs my lungs to the point where I don't want to breathe any more. The dull knife that slowly twist my lungs. Like wringing out your wet hair after a shower. That's what is happening right now. I watch out of the hospital window. The movement of the city never seems to stop. Although my time, my time is running out. I made the doctors remove the clock from my room.

My private room is not too big, it's not the smallest. It's a private room, one they moved me to so my family can have privacy as I lay here dying. I no longer want any surgeries to fix me. I'm not fixable.

I move from my back slowly to my side. It's a hard task, I don't call for the nurse like I should. I don't like being babied. It makes me feel as though I'm less of a person. People don't understand that, especially my mother. I grab a pillow trying to ball it up more comfortably. Despite the pain it needed to be done, I was very uncomfortable. I noticed it then. A clump of my brown locks catch on my fingers as I slid my hand under the pillow. I close my eyes. It's happening again. I finally got it to grow out. It was down to my shoulders now. It was going to fall out again. I'll be hideous again. I didn't realize I was starting to cry now. It's not like I didn't know this was going to happen. I sit up slowly, painfully. I run my fingers through my hair. I can feel the strands tangling in my fingers pulling out of my head with ease. I do a sharp intake of breath as I just start pulling out stands of hair. I'm breathing heavily, my heart rate increasing. It'll surely alert someone.

Soon enough someone is walking in. My nurse this go around is a bright bubbly blonde. I doubt she has seen nothing hard in her life. I look up at her with helpless eyes. "W-Will you help me?" I stuttered out, my hoarse voice can barely make a sound. She looks completely horrified. I use my gown to dry the tears on my face. I liked this nurse she was nice to me, she didn't pity me like others.

She helped me up out of bed slowly without saying a word. I try to do the work myself but I end up just holding onto her helplessly . She placed me into the wheel chair and takes me to the bathroom. She gets the razor which I'm sure this would probably be her first time ever doing something like this. Shaving a head is an easy enough task though, just don't chop something off.

Twenty minutes later, I'm back in bed. My beanie covering up what what the sickness has taken away from me. I guess, I should try and explain what is wrong with me. I have leukemia. It has something to do with the bone marrow and white blood cells. This is the second time I'm going through treatment. I fought pretty hard last time, I lost a lot last time. Suddenly on my nineteenth birthday, I went in for a check up and it was back. Now, I'm here three months later, refusing surgery. There is no one in my family that has the same blood type as me. Any transplants go to the younger children, I'm generally a lost cause. So I'm receiving chemotherapy, its probably worst then the cancer itself.

I slip into unconsciousness, I dream of nothing good. It's always worst then the nightmare before. I act like I'm ready to die, in a way I am. It is still scary, I'm still scared. My eyes flutter open to find my door opening. My baby sister running into the room. She has a large smile on her face. One I adore whole-heartedly. I hear her giggle as she sees me.

"Gab, Gab, Gab," she says trying to pull herself up onto the bed with me. She calls me Gab, most because she can't say Gabriella, or Gabby as my mom calls me. My mother, who is a few steps behind, picks her up and sets her on the bed. I hold open my arms. She climbs in them so gently. She knows she can hurt me, and she tries not to which she doesn't succeed. I pretend it okay anyway and hug her as tightly as I could. "Hiya Annie." I say kissing her cheek. I look up at my mom and smile. She looks old, she deals with me, and my two siblings. I'm the oldest. Annie here, she is the youngest at five. I have a little brother too, but he is probably in school right now, he is seventeen.

"Where were you?" I ask her, my voice was laced with some kind of hurt. I reached up grabbing my beanie pulling it off my head. Showing her what happened while she was away. I know I shouldn't be upset but I couldn't help it. I knew where she was, picking up Annie from daycare.

"Sorry." I stammer out before she can respond. She sits on my other side and kisses the top of my head. I sigh heavily nuzzling my face in her neck. She smells of home, of pine trees, and country. Annie tugs on my gown which causes me to look down at her. She has a book bag strapped to her back, which she is trying to pull off. I smile just a little helping her.

"Moomoo." She says holding up a plastic movie case. I notice it and a real smile cracks on my face. It use to be one of my favorite movies. 'Bridge to Terabithia' I look over at my mom handing her the movie. " Please?" I say hopefully, she usually made me sleep, or talk, which I was tired of doing. I was tired of talking about how I felt. My mom got up and set the movie up. I was glad to have them here. I scoot over a little, I'm small enough for the three of us to sit in my bed comfortably. The chemo makes me lose weight because, it is hard to eat without puking. Sometimes, I just wouldn't eat to avoid it. Annie curls into my side resting her head on my chest. My mother sits on her coach opening up her computer. She probably needs to work a little. My mother was a script writer. She wrote for movies, sometimes plays, and even cartoons. She even helped on the movie I'm watching now. She enjoyed it. I wondered what she was working on now. I didn't ask, it usually tarnished her concentration. I sat back watching the movie with my little sister. She ended up falling asleep half way through. I just looked at her stroking her cheek.

I looked up hearing my mother close her laptop. I smiled a bit as she walked over to me, sitting down on the bed next to me. I grinned, It might seem childish but she is the most important person to me. I just hoped she'd be okay after I was gone. "What are you working on?" I asked her grinning a bit.

"I'm helping with the first draft of a sequel for a movie I was working on a few months back." She answered pulling off my beanie rubbing the top of my head softly. I loved when she did that, it made me feel like I was a little girl again, that I didn't have any worries any more.

"Oh, What series is it?" I asked her. I always enjoyed going on set with my mother, watching movies was probably one of my favorite things to do. I wanted to be a special effects make-up artist. I enjoyed meeting new artists and actors too, they weren't too bad.

"The Hunger Games series?" She said questionably. "I think I remember buying the books for you last year." She added. I snuggled down next to her.

"Oh, they were fantastic books." I said smiling brightly. "I can't wait to see them." I added closing my eyes. I suddenly felt sleep taking over. The next thing I remember about that night was my mother, humming softly. A small tune that I recognized to be my fathers favorite thing to hum. It used to put me to sleep in seconds flat. It still does. In no time I was asleep, and this time as I slept. I had no bad dreams.