I'm presently embroiled in two fairly plot-heavy fics (Mad Dogs and Treasure Island for anyone interested) and just needed to indulge in a bit of Galex light relief. Hope you enjoy!

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Best Laid Plans

Phase 1

Gene crossed his legs at the ankle, blowing a cloud of smoke out of the corner of his mouth as he watched her through narrowed eyes, doing his best Clint Eastwood impression. She was seated at the bar chatting to Shaz, and he saw her glance in his direction just before the two of them burst into a fit of giggles. Suddenly, he felt like wiping his nose or checking his flies. How did she do that to him? Make him feel like an awkward teenager again?

"See you later. Well tomorrow, probably. Sometime. Whenever …"

He sighed, taking a large swig of wine to cover his discomfort as she strolled over to join him. As the evening progressed he finally began to relax, watching with amusement as she got steadily merrier.

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"'M not drunk, Guv. 'M just a bit squiffy …"

"Yeah, luv. Squiffy as a newt. C'mon, lets get yer upstairs."

She giggled, hanging on to his arm, leaning into him, and he tried not to get distracted by the nearness of her and the alluring scent of her perfume in his nostrils.

"Thought you'd never ask, Gene. You going to carry me, then? I like it when you carry me. You always smell so nice."

He swung her up into his arms and her head lolled on his shoulder as he carried her up the last few steps, setting her down outside the door. She swayed slightly before falling against his chest, wrapping her arms round him and grinning up into his face.

"Gene Genie … lives on his back …"

He sighed.

"Give me the key, Alex."

"In my pocket … I think …"

He scrabbled around and fished it out, attempting to fit it into the keyhole despite the fact that she was effectively blocking his view.

"I'd like to get you on your back, Gene."

She giggled drunkenly and he smirked, finally managing to unlock the door, taking care to hold onto her in case she fell backwards through it.

"Oh yer would, would yer? And then what would yer do with me, Bols?"

He picked her up again and headed for the sofa, and she nuzzled into his neck, sending an erotic charge straight to his groin. He reminded himself he didn't take advantage of drunken women, however persuasive they may be.

"Take me to bed, Gene, and I'll show you."

"Yeah, right. A lot of use yer'd be ter me tonight, luv. I'm willin' ter bet yer'd either pass out or throw up, quite possibly both."

He knelt to remove her boots and she stroked his hair, her eyes heavy-lidded.

"'M not that drunk, Gene. Could still show you a good time."

His steadily growing erection twitched, and he took a deep breath.

"If you don't behave yerself I'll repeat this conversation to yer word fer word tomorrow. Now, let's get yer a pillow and a glass of water. Somehow, I think yer going to need one."

He wandered off to the bedroom, trying to ignore the temptingly rumpled bed, and returned with a pillow, lifting her head up so he could slot it in behind her. Before he could catch his breath, her fingers were threaded through his hair, her breasts were crushed against his chest and her soft lips were pressed ardently to his. His head spun and he couldn't help himself, instinctively returning the kiss, their tongues entwining, exploring, ravishing each other mouths as the passion flared between them. Her breast was a perfect fit for his hand and for a couple of seconds he was lost, relishing the feel of the nipple peaking against his palm as his mouth dropped to nip at her neck. He was rewarded with a throaty moan.

"Mmmm … Gene …"

Suddenly, he realised what he was doing and struggled out of her embrace, running a hand through his hair.

"God, Alex. We shouldn't be doing this. I could be anybody tonight, yer just lookin' fer a bit of comfort, that's all."

"Gene? Don't go. Stay."

"I can't, luv, it wouldn't be right."

He went to the kitchen and filled a glass with cold water, leaving it on the table next to her. She was out for the count now and he smiled affectionately, bending down to press a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"Night, Lady Bols. And yer have no idea how much will-power it took ter stop. Thing is, I need yer ter want me sober, otherwise yer won't remember how good I was in the mornin'."

He headed for the door before he could change his mind, turning back to look at her again with a heavy sigh.

"Sleep well, gorgeous. I'll see you and yer ragin' hangover at nine sharp."

He shook his head ruefully, closing the door quietly behind him.

Slowly, Alex opened her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. Upstairs outside, Phase One successfully completed. She hadn't been lying earlier, she was only mildly squiffy but she had to admit that she'd given one hell of a performance. No wonder he was fooled, she thought, giggling to herself: the Oscar was probably in the post.

She closed her eyes and relived that kiss. Restrained and yet passionate, gentle and yet demanding, tentative to begin with but when he really got into his stride … wow. Her whole body was still tingling with the after effects. And no clashing of teeth or bumping of noses, just a perfect fit right from the start. She couldn't wait to do it again, but she knew he needed careful handling. So to speak. She giggled at the depths of her depraved mind.

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Gene leant back against the Quattro, lighting up and taking a deep drag. Bloody Hell. Upstairs outside with Bollyknickers. Obviously he'd got a grip once before, but this time was different: she'd wanted it as much as he did, and he didn't think it was just down to the drink. He shuffled about in frustration, aware that Sergeant Rock was still uncomfortably hard. Why was he such a gentleman? Now he'd have to go home and take care of that himself, there was no way it was going away on its own. He sighed. Doing the five-finger shuffle in the privacy of his bedroom, how bloody teenage was that? She definitely owed him one, and he would collect. One of these fine days …

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If you like, please let me know. I suspect there may well be a chapter two. Sometime. Whenever …