TOTAL WAR

A STRIKE WITCHES FANFICTION

By Tastychainsaws

Chapter 1: Before the Storm

The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So the witches sat in the house. All that cold, cold, wet day. Shirley sat there with Lucchini. They sat there those two. And Lucchini said, "How I wish we had something to do."

Too wet to go out and too cold for an aerial brawl. So they sat in the base. They did nothing at all. So all they could do was sit, sit, sit. And they did not like it. Not one little bit.

BUMP!

And then something went bump! How that sound made them jump! They looked! They saw her! Hartmann had tripped; on her face she had fallen flat.

Next to her was a box, one that she had been holding. The author began actually writing this story, so the rhymes he would be withholding. Shirley sprang from her chair, since this was far more interesting than watching rain fall outside. She came to the fallen Ace's side and worriedly asked, "Are you okay? Nothing's broken or bleeding is it?"

"No, or, I don't think so." Hartmann groaned and sat up cross legged. "I was holding this big box here, so I tripped on the step there in front of the door."

"What's in the box?" Lucchini chirped, seemingly uncaring to Hartmann's faceplant.

"Some stuff from Karlsland." She explained. "My parents sent it in case I ever got bored and needed something to do. It's been raining so much, and there aren't any Neuroi around, so I'm starting to get bored."

"Us too." Shirley nodded. "What kind of fun stuff do you have in there?"

Hartmann got up and opened up the box with a small explosion of packing peanuts. "Well, for one there's the box itself. I think that's the most fun thing here. You can pretend it's a boat, or a fort, or a Panzer tank, or even Minna's-"

"Uh, I'm more interested in what's inside." Shirley cut her off, being that she had stopped finding entertainment in playing with boxes many, many years ago. "Are there any books or sweets in there?"

Lucchini groaned at the idea of books. "Books are even more boring than watching rain. They'd just put us to sleep."

Without another word, Hartmann began digging through the packing peanuts to see what was inside. "Let's see… a college text book on thermodynamics, a collection of essays on theoretical physics and how they relate to crowbars, the latest issue of the Karlsland journal of science. Huh, it looks like my parents got confused; this should all be stuff for my sister. Wait, there's something at the bottom!"

The other two looked in awe as Hartmann dug out a board game still covered in cellophane wrapping. Total War it was called, a game that simulated warfare and conquest between two sides referred to as the Axis and Allies in some kind of fictional setting where all the countries had different names. In this strange, and bizarre setting, there were no witches or Neuroi and the nations were fighting each other.

"Oooh, this looks fun." Shirley swooned as she read the back of the box. "Instead of Liberion they have some place call The United States of America, and instead of Romagna it's Italy, and instead of Karlsland it's Germany, Poland, and Switzerland. We should get everyone together and play this; it would be tons of fun!"

Hartmann looked over her shoulder and skim read the description of the game. "It does look kind of fun. I guess each player takes the roles of various made-up leaders and fight each other, or ally to fight the others. Lucchini, do you want to play?"

"Do I get to be on Shirley's team?" She immediately asked.

Shirley shook her head. "Looks like Italy in part of the Axis which is fighting against my country. You would be with Karls- Germany and Japan, which is Fuso."

"I get to be on Trude and Yoshika's team? Well, alright, sounds fun!"

ASSEMBLING THE PIECES

1931

Those who were involved in this game, Total War were Trude, Hartman, Yoshika, Lucchini, Eila, Sanya, Shirley, Lynette, and Perrine; each taking the roles of their respective countries. The game was a very complex one, involving many strategic elements ranging from troop management, and managing resources to fuel the war economy. Players had the option to research various military advancements, and every so often they had to draw from the deck of 'wild' cards just to make things interesting. The goal of the game was for one team, the axis or allies, to dominate the entire board or cause the opposing one to surrender. When taking nations, there was a plethora of options to what the player could do with the conquered territory. They could draft civilians into soldiers, force them all to work, murder them all to boost soldier morale, and for some reason the game even allowed for players to bolster national pride by committing genocide. But it wasn't like someone like, oh, say, Barkhorn would do that, right?

"Karlsland seems to be several states." Trude commented. "Germany, Austria, Poland… Hmm, I think I'll take this one Germany and be the leader here, Adolf Barkhorn."

"I guess I'll be this tiny, happy nation of Poland." Hartmann was content. "That makes me Erica Rydz-Śmigły, Marshall and highest military commander. Awesome."

"I'm Lynette Churchill, prime minister of Great Britain." Lynette announced.

"General secretary of the communist state of the Soviet Union, Joseph Sanya." The nighttime witch introduced herself.

"Simo Eila, hunter, defender of Finland." Eila added. Her nation on the board only had a single starting piece, a lone hunter. Everyone else had battalions of tanks, airplanes, artillery, and infantry; even navies.

"I'm Benito Lucchini, best pals of Fuhrer Barkhorn and Emperor Yoshika!" Lucchini happily declared.

Meanwhile, Yoshika sighed. "I'm all they on the other side of the map from you guys."

"Then it looks like it's just you and me." Shirley D. Roosevelt said.

"Let's not forget about me, President Perrine François Lebrun of the glorious nation of France." Perrine put in, lastly.

Shirley cleared her throat and said, "Okay, the game starts in 1930 and each turn is about a month. Now, let's agree to wait a few years before we just start attacking each other and plunging into total war. We should let everyone get a good military first so the winner is based strategic brilliance and not just numbers. So, uh, Eila you should have more than one soldier guarding your whole nation."

"Finland only needs Simo Eila." The silver-haired witch said, placing her boots up on the table and crossing her arms.

"R-Right." Shirley shuddered at her shady demeanor. "Okay, looks like Emperor Yoshika Hirohito goes first. Remember, use this time to start building your armies and-"

September 18, 1931

The small nation of Manchuria was no match for the ten-thousand Yoshika army that stormed the streets armed with type-99 light machine guns, and type-30 bolt action rifles. Emperor Miyafuji was a cunning and shrewd leader, and knew the best way to control Manchuria would be to install a puppet government secretly controlled by her. The battle for Manchuria had been a simple one, with the climax of the invasion taking place at Nenjiang Bridge where Chinese soldiers had put up a fight. Fifteen Yoshika's out of the 800 Yoshika force had died. Emperor Miyafuji thought these were entirely acceptable losses. Now with Korea and Manchuria under her control, all that was left was Nanking…

TOTAL WAR

"I attack Manchuria!" Yoshika exclaimed with gleeful savagery that frankly frightened everyone but Eila. She moved a handful of little soldier pieces up past the Koreas and rolled a handful of dice. "Yay! Manchuria is mine now!"

"Well, Manchuria wasn't controlled by a player, so I guess it's not that bad." Trude shrugged. "I like this kind of initiative from my allies!"

"That doesn't mean go and attack Austria right away." Shirley grumbled. "Seriously, let's not get straight into the warfare here. I heard this game is more fun if you let your empires grow."

"The assertion that it is the intention of the German Reich to coerce the Austrian State is absurd." Barkhorn scoffed.

October 2, 1935

The world knew peace for four years following invasion of Manchuria by the Japanese. Italian ruler, Benito Lucchini was on good terms with the Emperor and had been inspired by her bravery and initiative. On that morning, the black-shirted Lucchini infantry division prepared for the attack, with nearly 680,000 infantry alone, and over 500 tanks with 200 aircraft. To the south they marched from Italian Somaliland into Ethiopia.

The hundreds of thousands of Lucchini infantry began the invasion, rifles firing and pig-tails flying in the dusty winds of the desert. The Ethiopians had massed a sizable counterforce of 500,000 men, but the Lucchini army was vastly superior with their modern weaponry. When the dust had cleared and the cities had been sacked, a lone figure stood amongst her trusted soldiers.

Benito Lucchini with a hat upon her head and a pistol in her hand. She turned to her Lucchini soldiers, who just looked like her in Italian uniforms and said, "Go now and bring me all the sweets and breasts this country has to offer!"

November 1, 1936

Two figures stood in the Reichstag side by side looking past the well-kept lawns into the city of Berlin in Germany. Fuhrer Adolf Barkhorn and Benito Lucchini. Barkhorn was taller than the olive-skinned, green-eyed Italian, and had a very iconic looking mustache drawn on with pencil. She cleared her throat and said, "Lucchini, I heard about your assault of Ethiopia last month. Although the battle rages on, it is certain victory shall be in your grasp."

"Yeah, they were no match for the armored Lucchini division!" Lucchini happily nodded. "Say, why'd you fly me out to Germany anyway?"

"I have a proposal, Lucchini." Adolf Barkhorn stated.

"Ooh, you wanna marry Hartmann?" Lucchini gasped.

"No! Not that kind of proposal!" Barkhorn shouted at her, all patience gone. "No you idiot, I'm saying we work together. Italy is a pretty good strategic point and I could use your help with… plans…"

"Like how you're gonna annex Austria?"

"Shh!" She shoved her hands over Lucchini's mouth. "There could be people listening in anywhere, don't just blab that kind of stuff out loud!"

Meanwhile, a Barkhorn SturmTruden marched in with a clipboard and paper. The Barkhorn SturmTruden looked like her without the mustache, and wore German soldier uniforms. She cleared her throat and saluted her leader. "Fuhrer, the 5,000 cattle cars you commissioned are being built, along with the Zyclon B gas, and labor camps. The reprinting of your hit book, Mein Kampf was also successful and is now mandatory reading in school. Also, the Barkhorn Youth program, huge success!"

If Benito Lucchini didn't know any better, Adolf Barkhorn was up to something!

November 25, 1936

Once again, the Reichstag had a foreign guest. This time it was Emperor Miyafuji, the now honored guest of Adolf Barkhorn.

"Hiya Barkhorn-san!" Yoshika happily greeted her. "Why'd you fly me all the way out to Germany? Is it because you want me to pretend to be your little sis-"

"No, no, no." Barkhorn cut her off. "I want to talk to you about the biggest threat to your nation. Communism."

"Communism?" The Japanese emperor repeated the strange, new word.

"Yes. Communism." Adolf Barkhorn paced the room with her hands behind her back. Her boots clicked loudly against the ground as she spoke. "To my east and your north lies a dreadful and feared ruler. Joseph Sanya. She leads her people in a strange way, by… giving them equal shares! It's like socialism, which Germany is of course, but so much more vile and perverted! See, there's a reason that Finland has been fighting with them for years and had to claim their independence by force. The communists wanted to take Finland… give it out to everyone to share equally! Even the Jews!"

"What do the Jews have to do with this?" Yoshika had to ask.

"Er, nothing." Adolf Barkhorn quickly faced the other way. "Anyway, I want to make an Anti-Cominterm pact with you! That way we can band together in case Joseph Sanya tries to… SHARE. What do you say?"

"Well, I like Sanya-chan a lot, but communism sounds like a threat to my nation. I accept!"

Barkhorn smiled and shook her hand. "Good, now if you excuse me, I have to go make a speech on the evils of Judaism."

TOTAL WAR

"All this waiting around is starting to get boring." Lucchini groaned. "Let's start the fun! I attack Ethiopia with all my little plastic guys! Go! Go! Go! Pew pew pew, attack!"

Dice were rolled, and poor little Ethiopia was annexed to Italy. Lucchini gave one last cheer! "Yeah! Soldiers of Italy are second to none! Hmm, Barkhorn, why don't we make a pact so we don't start fighting over Austria or something?"

"Hmm good idea." Barkhorn nodded, and shook Lucchini's hand across the game table. "Let's call it the Rome-Berlin Axis. Also, let it be known that Germany neither intends nor wishes to interfere in the internal affairs of Austria, to annex Austria, or to conclude an Anschluss."

Hartmann spoke up as well, "Trudie, you have twice as many soldiers as me and Sanya is right there breathing down my neck. Can we sign a non-aggression pact too?"

Trude shook her hand as well and announced, "Germany has concluded a Non-Aggression Pact with Poland... We shall adhere to it unconditionally... we recognize Poland as the home of a great and nationally conscious people."

"Wow, she's really getting into character here." Eila commented.

"Yeah, but Germany has a lot of armies." Sanya pointed out in her normal, sleepy tone. "I'll probably get taken out of the game right away."

"Says the girl with the biggest country in the game." Eila patted her on the shoulder. "Look at me, I just have one single lone soldier defending Finland."

Perrine tapped Barkhorn's shoulder. "What about my nation? Are we on good terms as well? For someone who has so many soldiers, you want to make sure everyone is on the same side. You're not up to something, are you?"

"National Socialist Germany wants peace because of its fundamental convictions. And it wants peace also owing to the realization of the simple primitive fact that no war would be likely essentially to alter the distress in Europe... The principal effect of every war is to destroy the flower of the nation... Germany needs peace and desires peace!" Barkhorn replied with strange, enthusiastic vigor. She then turned to address Yoshika. "Miyafuji! I suggest we agree on a peace treaty so that the poisonous, communist view of Joseph Sanya does not harm either of us!"

"Okay!" Miyafuji happily agreed. "I'm way over here by myself, so any kind of backup would be great!"

July 7, 1937

Flames burned across the city of Nanking, proud once, but now no longer. 100,000 Yoshika soldiers had stormed the city, blasting through the Chinese army's defenses with little trouble. They fought for Japan, they fought for Emperor Miyafuji, and most of all they fought for boobs!

Emperor Miyafuji herself had watched the massacre unfold with not even the slightest hint of remorse. Civilians and unarmed soldiers were dragged into the street in lines with the Japanese army waiting for orders. A Yoshika soldier approached the Emperor. She looked the same, except was wearing a Japanese soldier uniform. She gave a salute and said, "Your divineness, we've taken the city and rallied all the prisoners into the street. What are our orders?"

Without thinking, Emperor Miyafuji replied, "Grope all the women, and leave none alive!"

TOTAL WAR

Miyafuji finished moving more plastic pieces all over the entirety of China and cheered, "Yay, I beat China! Those people in Nanking sure put up a fight, but I don't think I'll have to deal with them anymore."

"This game is freakin' dark." Shirley said in shock at the level of detail that went into the things that could happen. The Japanese soldiers had gone into this land, China, and murdered just about every last man, woman, and child and instigating countless war crimes. Last she remembered, board games were supposed to be fun things for kids.

March 11, 1938

The Austrian people were alive with cheer and joy as the tanks and soldiers of Germany rolled in through the border. Swastikas on banners were raised, all throughout the cities and the German army was met like they were a parade. The SturmTruden soldiers smiled and waved, although were a little disappointed at Austria's welcoming of them. A lot of them had been ready for a fight, to finally exercise all the training and use all the weapons Adolf Barkhorn had been amassing in secret.

TOTAL WAR

"I annex Austria." Trude declared when her turn came around.

"OH, COME ON!" Both Lucchini and Hartmann shouted in unison.

"You said you wouldn't do that!" Erica pointed a finger at her.

"Yeah, we had a deal!" Lucchini waved a fist.

Trude just shrugged smugly, "A leader must be strong. Now what else is here…"

TOTAL WAR

"You are not having Czechoslovakia." Perrine growled. "Lynette, help me get heavy handed here, I don't want Barkhorn to just walk all over Europe. Each time she takes up a piece of the country, she gets more soldiers and resources!"

"M-Maybe we could have an agreement?" Lynette Churchill nervously squeaked. "Why don't we just give Barkhorn part of Czechoslovakia so she's happy with her conquest?"

"That's a good idea." Lucchini chirped.

"I… would be okay with that, I guess." Perrine sighed. "You're not going to just take everything else, are you?

Boundaries were redrawn in Europe, and Adolf Barkhorn then had key military points of the once free nation added to her own. With that, she answered Perrine's question. "I have no further interest in the Czecho-Slovakian State, that is guaranteed. We want no Czechs."

September 29, 1938

Four figures gathered in the conference room of the government building of Munich, Germany. The four were Lynette Churchill, President Perrine, Benito Lucchini, and of course Adolf Barkhorn. They had debated tirelessly about Germany's unprecedented annexing of Austria. After the Great War, Germany had been denied military privileges but after seeing the state Germany was in, it was clear this was not being upheld. While most of the world was in economic crisis, Germany was thriving under the quickly growing war machine.

"So, you're worried the German army is going to annex or take over Czechoslovakia next?" Adolf Barkhorn summarized their meeting with a smirk.

"Our intelligence shows you're amassing armor and soldiers towards the border." Perrine pointed out, pushing her glasses up the rim of her nose. "We're here to help defend the Czechs, who have no defense against your power, Barkhorn."

"Well, we had a proposal…" Lynette nervously spoke up. "M-Maybe you would be happy with just a little bit of the eastern border of the nation? Just some m-mountains? We know you're afraid of Joseph Sanya, so maybe this would help you defend."

"Right, the mountains pose a strong tactical value." Perrine pointed out.

"And you have all of Poland and Hartmann guarding you too!" Lucchini added. "It's a good thing you and Hartmann are pals, right?"

"R-Right." Barkhorn nodded, and quickly moved the war plans to attack Poland off a nearby table and into a drawer. "Hmm, I agree to this agreement. Call for a cartographer, it's time to redraw the maps of Europe once again!"

January 30, 1939

The Reichstag in Berlin was alive with commotion with thousands of German citizens arriving to hear Adolf Barkhorn's speech. Apparently the hot topic to warm up that chilly night was the state of the Jews. Now, unknown to the rest of the world (even Lucchini, Barkhorn's closest pal) Adolf Barkhorn had been doing certain… 'things'. Most of the economic problems in Germany had been blamed on the Jews, instead of gross hyperinflation and a weak market. Barkhorn claimed those things were the work of the Jews, and ever since she had started slowly taking away their citizen rights, the economy of Germany had gotten to the point where it was the single most powerful nation in the world. This had nothing to do with the countless jobs created from the war effort or the implementing of a successful fascist socialist state. It was clearly the fault of an ethnic minority group and not, say, the remnants of a horrible war twenty years ago.

Standing before the Reichstag on her podium, she began her speech…

"In the course of my life I have very often been a prophet, and have usually been ridiculed for it. During the time of my struggle for power, it was in the first instance only the Jewish race that received my prophecies with laughter when I said that I would one day take over the leadership of the state and with it that of the whole nation and that I would then among other things settle the Jewish problem...but I think that for some time now they have been laughing on the other side of their face. Today I will once more be a prophet: if the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevising of the earth and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!".

TOTAL WAR

"Pardon my French, but Barkhorn, what the fuck?" Shirley immediately responded to Barkhorn's speech. Hartmann, who had been sitting next to Trude, scooted away loudly, with Lucchini doing the same on the other side of her. The whole table was in shock at what she had said.

"What?" Barkhorn replied to their reactions. "Look at the stats of my nation! All my soldiers and workers get a huge morale bonus for having a hated enemy. I just picked the Jews because, hey, why not?"

"Looks to me like you're trying to commit genocide." Eila pointed out. "You're just being more subtle about it and more efficient than Ms. Murder Panties over there."

She was looking at Miyafuji.

"Eh? It's like what Barkhorn-san said! Morale bonus!" Miyafuji desperately replied.

Hartmann glanced at Trude and asked, "Wait, isn't your mother part Jewish? In fact, I remember her wearing a Star of David!"

Trude shrugged indifferent, "Quiet Poland, the adults are talking right now. Sanya, may I have a word with you in private regarding… plans?"

"Uh…" Hartmann blinked, suddenly realizing all of Trude's armies were close to the border of Germany and Poland. "Lynette, Perrine, may I have a word with you?"

March 31, 1939

Gathering in London, the leaders of the three nations: Britain, France, and Poland met in secret. Erica was distraught, pacing frantically around the capital building of London next to her two allies.

"Guys, seriously, Trudie is after Poland! My soldiers are strong, but she has all those tanks and her SturmTruden are much better equipped. You have to help me!"

"Well, I can't really march an army to help you…" Lynette Churchill told her with a bit of sorrow. "I'm really sorry, but there's not much either of us can do! Maybe we could let her take over Croatia instead like we did with part of Czechoslovakia?"

"Not even Lucchini wants Croatia." Perrine reminded her. "That's saying something since she took Ethiopia, the land of mud huts and starving children."

"I think she complained that Croatia kept stealing her country's fax modems." Hartmann said. "But, is there really nothing you two can do?"

Perrine bit her lower lip, and then shouted, "Yes! We do need to take action! First it was Austria, then Czechoslovakia, and next it will be Poland. But where does it stop? For all we know, Trude will move on and attack France too! Lynette, let's make an oath! If Barkhorn tries to attack Poland, we will instigate war!"

Lyn nodded in agreement. "Alright, Great Britain will declare war on Germany if Poland is harassed."

"Thanks, you two are the best!" Erica, leader of Poland, gave a strong sigh of relief. "I know Europe is pretty big, but if she does attack I'm sure we could hold out for years and year against her!"

TOTAL WAR

"Things are getting tense." Sanya quietly commented on the political landscape unfolding around the table.

"Really." Shirley shuddered. "Miyafuji is building up her navy over there and I'm the only target she has right now. Plus, I started with a stupid Great Depression and can barely make any units! This isn't fair, Eila over there gets plenty of resources and she just spends it all on making saunas for her solders!"

Eila shrugged. "It boosts troop morale without killing civilians."

Meanwhile, across the table, Lucchini rolled a handful of dice and cheered. "Yay! I took over Albania! Take that stupid Albania! Hahaha, stupid Albania didn't stand a chance… Say, Shirley, is Albania a real place?"

"I… don' know actually." Shirley scratched her head. "Perrine, is Albania a real place?"

"How would I know?" Perrine snapped at her, clearly not knowing either.

"Of course it's a real place you idiots!" Eila shouted from nowhere and slammed her fists on the table. Eyes were on her in surprise as she ranted. "I'm sick of this, Albania never gets any respect! It was part of both Greece and Rome, which were important!"

"Eila, I didn't know you felt so strongly about Albania." Sanya said in surprise.

"It's just…" Eila sighed and rested her head in her arms on the table. "I know what it's like to be the little guy nobody remembers and gets taken over to compete with Germany's land grabs and has a puppet government installed by the Italians. I've been there, man."

"There… there…" Sanya gently patted Eila's head. "It's just a game. Oh that reminds me, Barkhorn and I need to, uh, speak in private about something."

August 23, 1939

Once again, a foreign leader met with Barkhorn in the sanctity of the Reichstag. This time it was a newcomer, the elusive and powerful Joseph Sanya. She stood beside Adolf Barkhorn looking down at a political map of Europe. Plastic figurines representing German SturmTruden and their panzer brigades were lined up against Poland's western border.

"So… I have your guarantee that your Red Sanya army will cripple Poland from the east as Hartmann will no doubt flee from my Western forces?" Barkhorn queried.

"Yes, my soldiers are marching across the Ukraine territory as we speak. It will take some time though." Sanya replied in a cold, flat, emotionless voice. "Now, about the territorial divides…
"The Ukraine and half of Poland shall be yours following a successful invasion." Barkhorn replied without pause.

"And Finland? I know you have relations with them after helping them gain their independence thirty years ago."

"What old German rulers did doesn't dictate how I act. Finland is yours for the taking." The German leader told her. "However, I must ask, aren't you rather close to the Finland's ruler?"

Sanya sighed and looked the other way. "It's part of my plan, Barkhorn. Don't interfere."

"Oh." Barkhorn raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Alright, you have my word."

"Good. See you on the battlefield then." With that, Joseph Sanya turned and walked away, leaving Barkhorn just a little unnerved.

Under her breath, so that no other could hear, Sanya whispered, "I can take over Finland, make its old ruler my servant, and order her to kiss me on the lips…"

TOTAL WAR

Barkhorn's turn came around, and she waited in silence for ten seconds as the rest looked at her.

"Well, what're you gonna do?" Shirley asked her, slightly impatient. Near her, Sanya's lips curved into a wicked, strange smile that was never seen on her.

Trude matched that smile, and announced, "I invade Poland."

Hartmann sighed and looked indifferent. "Well, I saw this coming from a mile away. Alright, I'll handle this like an adult. I have plenty of soldiers and cavalry units."

Lynette leaned over and whispered to Hartmann, "Erica, cavalry units can't even hurt tanks, and infantry get blown away by them."

Hartmann sighed once more and sniffled. "Oh. I see. This… changes things. The happy little nation of Poland will have to rethink things."

"Hartmann… are you crying?" Miyafuji gasped.

"N-No!" She lied. "Just have something in my eye."

"Like what?" Barkhorn smirked.

"Tears!" The blonde Karlsland witch cried. "I was really becoming attached to Poland, but if that's how you're gonna play it, then fine, bring it on!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

Author's Notes: This is one of those stories that took an incredibly long time to write, since it was hard to come up with a joke for literally every last scene or dialogue exchange, which was what I was trying to do. I was inspired to write this by listening to the band Sabaton's album 'The Art of War'. I imagined the 501st fighting against one another with armies that all looked identical, and thought that would be a really funny premise for a story. I took it a step further and thought about the funny scenarios from the Civilization games, along with board games such as Risk and Axis and Allies. So, this story is kind of a mixture of all of those things which will probably get a lot funnier with the war truly starts.

Also, Barkhorn quotes Hitler four or five times throughout this nearly word for word.