Nikki: Just to clear up a few things- especially things pointed out by Disappointed- when Claude says that Ciel's 'healing is complete' he means that at the hospital he has nothing more to do to help him along his healing journey. Also, it's in my matter of opinion that once you accept what has happened you are open to a world of possibilities. When I say that rape is a part of life, I mean that everything happens for a reason and we just have to push past them. And, not to sound helplessly religious, but God puts obstacles in our way to make us stronger and bring all kinds of people into our lives. And, lastly, I for one would never take an idea such as rape not seriously. One of my closest friends was raped and she is my biggest inspiration – for this story and in life. Basically I just took all her conversations with her therapists and put them here based off what I got from them. I'm sorry that some people were disappointed with me but I just can't write this story anymore. I was naïve to write a story that I knew nothing about, and I should have left my friend to write it or co-op with me. I've been trying to be strong and persevere but honestly I know this story is a total failure. I'm not mad at Disappointed because he/she is entitled to their opinion and I understand where they are coming from. I just wish I could have made everyone happy and I could have worked harder to stop this story from falling. And Disappointed I hope this last chapter can at least leave you with the love you first had for this story, I made it so Ciel's depression and suicidal thought are more realistic. And thank you for your honesty.

I'm NOT A Sad Story Epilogue

I'm standing on a stage. There are hundreds of teens around me. They're staring at me with adept attention. Well as much attention as teenagers can have for a guest speaker. I move the hair out of my eyes and start speaking into the microphone.

"Hello. I'm Ciel Phantomhive; I'm 21 years old. I'm practically straight out of college with a communications major and a literacy minor at the University of Albany in New York. And I'm here today as a guest speaker. Honestly, I know what you're thinking. This will be a long speech about abstinence or something like that; something we've all heard a thousand times before. But this has nothing to do about that. I'm here to tell you that sometimes admitting you need help is the best thing you could for yourself."

I suck a deep breath into my lungs and let it spill from my lips before continuing to speak.

"I was raped when I was ten years old. I was maybe six years younger than the lot of you. They took no mercy on me. They didn't care that I was a child; they just took what they wanted. I was suicidal for most of my life after that. I was put into Saint John's psychiatric institute when I was well into my sixteenth year. Some of you are that age now." I take the microphone off the stand and hold it tightly in my left hand. I walk across the stage and feel proud at how their gazes follow me. I plop down at the edge of the stage and sit up straight and projected my voice like they taught me in school.

"I hated authority. Anything that went against my philosophies and beliefs I couldn't stand. Especially therapists. I thought, 'they want me to see a therapist? Why the hell would they do that? You know, therapist: the rapist.'" I hear some chuckles at my previous joke and I shrug off the teachers' glares at using a curse word. Then I got close to a therapist, named Sebastian Michaelis, and realized that they weren't as bad I had assumed."

"I couldn't stand people who lived their lives taking for granted everything they had. There was this one kid, Alois Trancy, who acted like having sex was no big deal and for that reason I got in a fight with him. I beat the daylights out of him- well technically it was a tie- because of my insecurities but I have to admit he was a pretty cool kid."

I recount all my significant experiences in the place I called home for a mere four months. The kids don't look bored like I expected they would as my first guest speaking job. When I finish I have nothing left to do but say the whole point of my being there.

"I'm not here to lecture you guys about anything. That's not my job today. It probably never will be my job. I'm just here to tell you that talking to someone can really help. It's the first thing you can do to help yourself recover. It may even save your life, like it saved mine."

The kids burst into a slow, shocked applause. To be honest, I don't know if they hate it or not. I don't see a single exhausted or sleeping teen. I guess that's a good sign. I sigh; if no one's sleeping I must not have been completely boring or terrible. But I still have a lot I could revise for my next gig.

P.S. don't believe your communications teacher when they say that scripting out what you're going to do helps. It's total B.S. at least for me…

I take my eyes away from the students when a teacher comes up to me and starts to whisper. It's about time for the teens to go back to their last class of the day and leave. I face my audience and say my final talking point.

"I thank you for your cooperation but it's time for you to go back to class. I just leave you to think about what I said and that if you need anyone to talk to you can go to your school guidance counselor –" She waves her hand from her place at the stage's stairs when I point her out. "It feels really good to get things off your chest, trust a person who's had a lot of experience."

I put the mike back on its stand and walk off stage and out of the guarded school building.

[*.*.*.*]

I'm cruising down the highway at the most leisurely pace you can have in New York towards upstate New York. I'm not immensely far from Brooklyn, but not so close that my mother could just up and visit me any day she wished. I'm young, not stupid.

That's my typical response as to why I moved three hours from my childhood home. But in actuality, my rented apartment is only 20 minutes away from St. John's.

And Sebastian still works there…

I know because Alois had done something with his life and is now getting his doctorate and is an intern there. Amazing, huh? Funny how we could still manage to have a sense of normalcy even though we lived in a psychiatric hospital not too long ago.

I get off at the exit I usually use to go to my place. I pass by the market, Laundromat, a bunch of suburban houses. In simple, I am very close to my apartment, though something keeps nagging at my mind.

Milk. I don't know if I have any and I don't want to screw myself over by getting home and realizing I need some. That would mean heading back out and buying more. There's one therapy could never help me with; laziness.

Fuck it, I say mentally and make a quick U-turn towards the supermarket.

I get there soon and get the milk with some other groceries I simply need to have in my house (Pop Tarts, chocolate sauce and ice-cream).

I'm standing in line at the register with one person in front of me. I wait patiently before looking to my left at the chocolate bars and gum they have on the counter when a glimpse of garnet, white and black catches my eye.

What's black and white with a dash of red all over? Sebastian Michaelis, for one.

I sputter and stare for a second before I leap off my line and run to his three rows down. He's about to pay when I squeeze in behind him and tap him on the shoulder.

He spins around and his garnet orbs widen as I smile.

"Ciel…" He looks me up and down and I do the same to him.

"Hey Sebastian. Long time no see. Miss me?" He smirks before pulling me into his chest and I feel the same sense of security I last felt five years ago. He envelops me and I know my love for him has never burned out.