SOOO sorry for not updating for SOOO long, school's started again and AP English and IB film are kicking my butt, ahhh OTL I'll try to update more often though! I really will! Oh yeah, I'm going to try making a sequal to this too, so stay tuned! ^ ^

"Hm, now that's an adorable sight," Shinra smiled warmly, staring at the lovers who remained huddled together. Izaya's body was securely tucked into Shizuo's large frame, one of his arms wrapped around his chest. Izaya's arm that didn't have the IV rested on Shizuo's arm, one of his legs intertwined with Shizuo's. The blonde's chin was comfortably resting on Izaya's head, completing the sight of the two intertwined souls. If only he didn't have to check up on Izaya's concussion, he wouldn't have to interrupted their beautiful slumber.

"Shizuo, Shizuoooo," he dragged his name out soothingly, trying his best not to suddenly startle him. It wasn't a easy call to make, considering how about everything pissed him off. "Shizuooo, Izaya." Instantly, the blonde began stirring. It seemed anything that involved the raven snapped him out of his dreams. That was a reassuring thought.

"Wh-what?" He mumbled, eyes slowly opening, meeting Shinra's smiling face.

"Well morning there!" He smiled, giving a slight wave. Shizuo seemed annoyed by the fact that he was awakened, but quickly got over it.

"What's wrong with Izaya?" His voice asked rather panicked, staring down at the raven in his arms. He looked the same as he did last night, and he could feel his chest rising and falling against his arm.

"I just need to check on him; his concussion and all."

"Ohhhh," he sighed, frowning slightly. Even though he knew Izaya didn't blame him for what he did, he still couldn't help but feel the guilt that struck his heart. No matter what anyone else said, he knew he couldn't deny the fact that Izaya was in this pain because of him.

But these thoughts weren't going to do him any good. He had to be sure Izaya's state didn't worsen. Slowly, he snuggled his nose behind his ear, tickling it slightly. "Heyy, time to wake up Izi," he whispered. He could feel the small raven flinch in his arms, bringing a slight smile to his face. Izaya had to be the most adorablest thing he's ever seen.

"Mehhhhh," he groaned slightly, leaning his head in attempt to make Shizuo's slight tickle torment go away. It only made the blonde smirk, moving his chin back to his head.

"Shinra needs to check on you," his voice sounded disappointed, which he was. He just didn't want to make it seem too obvious. But when wasn't Shizuo obvious?

Izaya slowly began snapping out of his drowsiness, letting his eyes open slightly. Shizuo felt his face blush over, seeing how adorable he looked. His eyes were dropping slightly, his mouth hanging open with slight droll going down his chin. If Shinra wasn't there, he'd kiss him on the cheek.

"Mornin' Izaya," Shinra smiled, bending down to his eye-contact level.

"M-morin," Izaya miss-pronounced the word, not even seeming to realize it. It only made the blonde blush even harder; why did he have to be so adorable?!

"How you feeling today? Anything hurt?"

Izaya sat there for a moment in silence, as if trying to process the question. Shizuo swore to god if he got any cuter he'd just kiss him on the spot. "Uhhh uhhhh," he trailed off, looking up at the ceiling. Shinra couldn't blame him, usually it took someone a few moments to register any pain after sleeping for a while.

"Uhhhh a bit, I think; I think, uhhh my head feels, feels funny."

Shinra couldn't help but chuckle at the groggily behavior, running his fingers through the raven's bangs. "You're just too adorable! - But it's going to feel weird silly, it's injured."

"Injured... ohhh yeahhh," he trailed off, pulling the blonde's hand tighter against his chest. "But I'm safe, as long as Shizu-chan has me." Shizuo felt his cheeks blush over to a deep red. Izaya must've had unlimited adorableness.

"That's right," he smiled, leaning down a bit and pressed his lips against Izaya's soft cheek. The raven's eye widened before twinkling with joy, loving the contact.

"My Shizu-channnn."

"Jeeez, and you tell me and Celty to get a room!" The doctor chuckled, pushing off his knees to stand back up. Shizuo and Izaya both blushed over, turning lobster red.

"Sh-shut up four-eyes," Shizuo pouted, just realizing the position their legs were in. How awkward was that? For Shinra to walk in on, at least.

"Did you call the school?" Izaya mumbled, slowly becoming more conscious of the world around him. He didn't want everyone to get in trouble for skipping school, especially because of him. It would only add more stress on their plates.

"Yes, actually," Shinra smiled proudly, placing his hands on his hips. He had to be the bad guy. "Come on Shizuo, time to get up." The blonde sighed, letting out a long groan of annoyance. He knew he had to, he just really really didn't want to.

"Ehhhh," he whined. "I don't wonnaaaa."

"Shizuo, don't make me go over there." There was no doubt in Shizuo's mind that the doctor would pull some demented move on him, hitting a special point on his body that made him jump, hurt, or even tickle. He knew Shinra enough.

"Ughh, fineee," he whined, slowly untangling himself from his raven. Izaya just chuckled a bit at this.

"Jeez Shizu-chan, you're just like a child," he teased as Shizuo pulled himself free.

"Heh, you're the one to talk," he laughed, getting up from the bed. Shinra couldn't help but continue to shake his head at the two, wondering how he got stuck with the two of them. Sometimes he really had to wonder.

"Sometimes I still think the both of you haven't grown up at all. - Now go wait outside prince-charming, I need to give your princess more x-rays." The two lovers looked at each other with wide-eyes, not believing what Shinra had just said. Now they were part of his own fantasy? Being called prince and princess made them both a bit playful.

"You better be fragile with her," he smirked playfully, winking at the raven. Izaya's mouth closed, slipping his tongue out like a small child would do. He really had to be the girl in their relationship (that is, if Shizuo could call this a relationship), there really wasn't another way to see it. He was the blonde's only love, and he was determined to protect him.

"Watch what you say, I can make you sleep on the couch!" Izaya quickly barked. Shinra and Shizuo couldn't help but laugh, finding the come-back a little too girlish and childish. But the blonde couldn't help but feel alarmed with the fact that Izaya hadn't sat up yet. He was still laying on his side, barely moving at all.

"Yeah yeah, I'd just have to take you with me then," he winked before disappearing out the door. He wanted Shinra to take a look at him, hoping he'd be able to fix Izaya more. There had to be some kind of medicine, right? They had those chemotherapy treatments for cancer patients; they had to have something, though may be extreme, for people who've received concussions. He didn't care how much it would cost, he was willing to work hard labor for the rest of his life. There was so much he would give up for that adorable boy.

'When did I ever fall in love with you?' He wondered, feeling his phone vibrate against his pant-leg. It nearly made him jump, completely new to the whole vibrating business. Usually he had it on sound, but since he slept with Izaya, he didn't want to run the risk of waking him.

Slowly, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, studying the small screen. He had three text messages; one from work, one from Kadota, and one from-

"Kasuka?" He gasped, quickly opening it first. He rarely got a message from his brother, due to his busy schedule and all. Being a first-time actor for three movies at the same time must've really been draining.

'Two of the films I'm in are almost done, mind if I come visit sometime next month?' It read. It wasn't much, having none of those 'how are you' or 'what's new' questions. And to be completely honest, Shizuo could care less about them. This was a message from his brother, and he cared about him with all his heart.

A small smile began lifting on the side of his face, feeling tears of joy threatening to leak. He couldn't wait to see him, it's been so long since he's seen any of his family. He could care less about his parents, they left them for business over six years ago. Kasuka was the only one he had that actually understood him throughout elementary school. Unfortunately, his parents got him a role in one of the movies he was currently working on, deciding to finally do something for a change. Guess it was for the better, he seemed to enjoy it a lot. Now he had Izaya to look after him, making him feel like a normal human being instead of a monster .

God, he couldn't wait for them to meet. Quickly, his fingers raced across the screen, responding to his brother without even having to think. 'That's great! Can't wait to finally see you then! Oh, and I have to introduce you to someone I kinda fell for...,' he blushed typing that last part, nearly having to look away from the screen. Not that his brother minded if he sent him a wordy text, he just knew Kasuka would want to know about Izaya. By the time he got there, he hoped they'd be dating; if all went well.

'He's really nice and adorable, I can hardly even think of a reason to be without him. - Can't wait to see you!' He hit send as soon as he stopped typing, not wanting to reread what he just wrote. He really didn't want to lose his nerve and not tell Kasuka. It was a bit weird telling him that he was gay, but there was no getting around it. His soul-mate was his soul-mate, and he knew his brother would understand.

When he was sure his message sent, he selected Kadota's. He most likely wanted to know how Izaya as doing. That kid would be here right now if he wasn't so desperate about getting good grades in school. He wouldn't even take a three day vacation with his parents before he moved out.

'I've got three tests today that go towards my final grade, unless I would've stayed this time,' it began, sounding so guilty. Shizuo couldn't help but smile a bit, glad that he felt that way. He was shocked by the fact that Kadota had even written he would've been there if it weren't for tests; it was so out of character for him.

'Whenever you get the results back, please inform me, thanks.' At least the blonde didn't feel all that bad about not responding to their friend earlier, he wouldn't have been able to say anything. Shinra was just now starting the x-ray that really mattered.

Sighing, he closed the text, opening the last one; it was from his work. He hadn't even called in throughout this whole ordeal. Luckily the owner was like a father to him, always looking out for him. He no doubt went to his apartment to check on him. Unfortunately, he's been here with Shinra most of the time.

'Haven't heard from you in a while, just worried about you. Please text me back when you get this so I know you're alright.' Ah, Garry. He really should've thought about him during this whole thing, but he slipped his mind. There was no doubt his boss was going to hound him with questions, and he'd have to tell the truth. Shizuo just hoped he liked Izaya as much as he did once they were introduced.

'I'm okay, my friend I always tell you about got really hurt and they didn't think he was going to make it. I've been staying at his side, since I know that's what he'd want. He's awake now, Shinra's doing the x-ray to check up on everything. He's doing a lot better now that he's breathing on his own. Sorry for missing so much work. I promise I'll make it up,' he typed, letting his head hit the wall behind him. He didn't even want to think of work at the moment, not with this happening. He wanted to stay with Izaya, never letting him go for as long as they lived. But that could never happen. Not when life was so unfair.

After about an hour of waiting, the clicking of the door opening snapped the blonde out of his thoughts. He hardly even noticed it, seeing how quiet it sounded from where he was. It could have something to do with how tired he was.

"I'll get your Prince Charming, just wait, 'kay?" Shinra seemed to nervously speak, that forced smile plastered on his face. He seemed even more distressed as a small squeak formed into a sentence, making his smile droop into guilt. "You won't be alone for long, promise! I'll let Shizuo tell you the results, 'kay? Then you two can sleep the day away." Shizuo knew he was talking to Izaya, and felt a knife stab his heart hearing that last response.

'You won't be alone for long.' Izaya had been alone for too long; what the hell was Shinra thinking? Why couldn't he just tell Izaya the results himself? Was this part of some elaborate scheme to make the two love each other even more?

Slowly, the doctor finally closed the door, making the blonde spring to his feet. He would've earlier, but then he wouldn't have be able to hold himself back and run to Izaya's side. Ahh, curse his over-protective feelings.

"God... it hurts, doesn't it?" Shinra trembled from where he stood, clenching the folder in his hands with shaking hands. His face was covered in a slight black layer, his face hard to see. Was he crying?

"Heyy," the blonde frowned, going over to the doctor. He hated seeing any of his friends cry, especially hurt. He knew Shinra must've been holding all his emotions back the whole time, and was wondering when he was going to break. If he was smart enough, he would've made him break sooner so he wouldn't have to suffer so long.

"It always hurts when you can't really do anything," Shizuo honestly replied, pulling Shinra in for a quick hug. They were usually only reserved for his raven, but he had to make an exception. Shinra was breaking down.

"Y-yeah, but when you can and screw it up it hurts!" He cried, letting himself be smashed against the blonde's chest. Shizuo really never did this, to anyone. Izaya was the only one ever worthy of comfort hugs. Yet, how could he not comfort Shinra? He was his friend too, and even saved Izaya's life. Yet, his comment was disturbing.

"What do you mean?"

Shinra was silent for a moment, sniffling. He could tell the doctor didn't know how to word it. "I-I should've stopped him," he choked on the words, having extreme difficultly letting this knowledge out. God, the suspense was killing the blonde. He just wanted to know if Izaya was going to be okay!

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Y-you know when he went up to the roof?"

No.

No.

No. God no, please, don't tell him it was his fault again. PLEASE; he'd give up his legs, anything!

"Y-yeah?" Shizuo tried to say in a confirming voice so Shinra wouldn't stop and make something up.

"... he, he proved that he loved you~!" He chuckled and choked on his small laughs, nearly making Shizuo want to throw him against the wall. The blush on his face was too bright for his own good, only making him want to throw him off more.

"Is that it?!" He snapped weakly.

"No, but part of it," his giggles trailed off, pushing himself away from Shizuo. The blonde didn't resist, allowing the little cheater to remove himself. "Well, he hit his head against one of the stairs... and it didn't settle well." Shizuo felt his blood run cold, body swaying a bit. He couldn't have heard him correctly, could he?

"Wh-what?"

Shinra shakingly opened the envelope, pulling out the papers inside of it. For only being in there for an hour, he sure has gotten a lot quicker at this. "It's messing with his balance, senses, and should start affecting some of his memory."

This couldn't' be happening. This couldn't be happening. "His, memory?"

Shinra nodded sadly, flipping through the various papers rather quickly, as if they were really useless references to his health. "I can't tell how long it'll last, but the memory shouldn't be permanent, and the senses should only be for a few days. But his balance will take a while, he's nearly developed complete Verdigo."

Shizuo tilted his head and the word, wishing Shinra knew he wasn't that educated. The doctor noticed this, "it means he the world shifts around him and he can't tell if there's a step or not, and falls really easily. Most can't drive due to this or walk alone for long periods of time." The blonde nodded, showing that he understood now. A part of him didn't really think it was all that bad. It gave him more of an excuse to be near the boy twenty-four seven. But he knew Izaya would hate that. He didn't like be so needy all the time.

Yet, it was still his fault. He hated it. He hated being the one causing all his pain and misery. God-damm it. GOD-DAMMIT! "Oh... is that it?" He asked, clenching his shaking fists.

"Yeah, you can see him now," Shinra smiled, seeming to be feeling a lot better. Shizuo's hugs were like magic.

The blonde nodded with a small smile, going in without wasting another moment. Izaya was still on his bed, though in a different position then before; thank god. He really didn't know what he'd do if he was.

"Shizu-chan!" He cried, trying to grab onto the side rail, but kept missing. His hand was aiming too high. Ahh, and this was what Shinra was talking about... God, he wanted to hurt himself so badly at the moment.

"How you feelin' Izaya?" He asked, somehow managing to keep a strong voice. This, all of this was his freakin fault. Izaya in pain, Izaya being forced on IV and occasional breathing treatment. His eye-sight, his balance, everything that he was suffering from was the result of him. First, it was the concussion from the pole, and now the effects of hitting his head against a step as he was trying to reach him. Why couldn't he just love someone without hurting them?!

"And don't give me bull either," Shizuo quickly snapped, knowing that Izaya would lie about it. The raven opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. He really couldn't argue with Shizuo, he'd be severely punished for it.

"I don't feel so good, actually," he sighed, finally grabbing a hold of the rail. "I'm so dizzy, I can hardly even grab the rail! It seems so much higher up then it actually is." The raven gave it a tight squeeze with that sad eye, gaze studying Shizuo intently. The blonde always knew Izaya was watching him, studying him, reading him. It was what he was best at. He wouldn't be able to hide the fact that he felt guilty as hell, so might as well say it.

"It's all my fault," he growled, clenching his fists and shaking his head rather viciously. He hated this. He hated all of this. He hated the fact that Izaya was hurt, double hurt because of him. Triple hurt, if he counted the whole 'Misaki' business. He didn't even know where that ass hole went, and quite frankly, didn't care.

He could hear Izaya shift in the bed uncomfortably, and knew what was coming. "It's not your fault Shizu-"

"Yes it is!" The blonde snapped, making Izaya flinch. Shizuo immediately regretted it, knowing the raven hated being yelled at. But it needed to be done. He didn't want Izaya to delude himself with the truth; he was in pain because of him. "If I hadn't ignored you in the first place, you wouldn't have wished to not exist, and if I had died or handled being strangled better, you wouldn't have gotten a concussion, and if I reacted better to hearing what I caused, your concussion would not have gotten worse!" He continued to rant, not even looking at Izaya anymore. He was just so fed up with everything, fed up with himself. Why couldn't he even protect the one person he cared about the most? Everything he did just ended up hurting him.

"Worse...?" He could make out the raven's small voice repeat, as if letting the information sink-in. His voice held no apparent emotions, throwing the blonde off like usual. He could never tell what he was thinking or feeling, and it was so damned annoying. But there was no doubt in his mind that he was upset with Shizuo, causing him to get hurt as much as he was.

"Ohh... well... I don't think it really matters."

Didn't really, matter? What? Could Izaya hear what he was saying? Or did he just not understand?

"Whatever made it get worse had to of been natural, so don't think it's your fault Shizu-chan." Shizuo felt his blood freeze over, processing what he had just said. It happened, naturally? Izaya really didn't have a clue, did he?

Slowly, he looked back up, focusing his gaze to the small raven who looked rather scared. He wasn't able to hide it, unlike all his other emotions. But that was better for him. He'd be able to comfort him.

"No, it wasn't natural," Shizuo chocked again, though studying Izaya very carefully. "You hit your head again on your way up the stairs to see me, which was so stupid!" He cried, clenching his fists tightly to his sides."Y-you should've just stayed here, I-I would've came eventually."

"W-what?" Izaya asked, his voice full of shock. It made Shizuo tune-back into reality, staring at Izaya's completely confused face with horror. No, this couldn't be-

"Y-you mean, y-you don't remember?" Oh no, no no no. This couldn't be happening. No, he refused to live with this reality. No. Never. He'd never come to believe in this reality.

"R-remember, going up stairs...? Was that, here?" Izaya seemed to be getting a bit stressed, clenching his hair and tugging it.

"Y-yeah, when you first woke up. You were afraid I was going to jump," Shizuo gulped, taking a nervous step forwards. Izaya looked up at him, his pupils shrunk to the back of his eyes. He looked like he was going to lose it.

"Wh-what? I-I DON'T REMEMBER!" The raven cried, tugging at his hair rather violently. Shizuo wanted to reach over and stop him from hurting himself, but couldn't find it in-himself. He'd probably just cause him to get more injured.

GOD-DAMMITT! This was all his fault, he did this. Izaya's memory was screwed up because of him. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to just kill himself to save Izaya the trouble of hurting more.

"Why don't I remember?! Shizuo, Shizu-chan!" He trembled, trying to pull his legs up to his chest, but his body didn't seem to comply with it. "I'm scared, I'm so scared."

Just hearing him so terrified tore something within the blonde, something he didn't know he had until now. He didn't know what to do, what to say. He himself was feeling the bridge of insanity nipping at his mind, but if he went insane, things wouldn't turn out well.

"I-it's all my fault, everything, like I said, I'm sorry, I'M SO SORRY!" Shizuo cried, clenching his fists so tight he nearly drew blood. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to get away from here. He was going to burst if this kept going. Not being able to do anything but make things worse. So he turned and raced towards the door. He didn't know where he was going or why, he just wanted to get away.

"Shi-Shizuo, wait! PLEASEE!" Izaya's frail voice cried, failing a bit. It stopped Shizuo's hand from pressing down on the handle, making him stand there. That voice, so full of pain made him want to die. But when he needed him, he couldn't leave him. Why couldn't Izaya understand how much he cared about him? He was trying to do this for his own good!

"I don't know what happened, but I really don't care!" Izaya began, sounding so desperate his throat caught here and there. It only made Shizuo feel worse, but stayed where he was. "If everything really is your fault, then, I don't care!"

What...? Izaya, didn't care if he caused him this turmoil? What? He really must've been messed up.

"You don't know what you're sayin-"

"Yes, yes I do!" Izaya snapped in such a pleading voice it caused the blond to turn around. He was instantly shocked, seeing tears falling down his cheeks in endless waterfalls. His eye was red-rimmed and puffy, as if he was trying his best to keep the tears in to no avail.

"I don't care if you were the one that caused everything, because that doesn't change a thing to me. I-I still like you, a lot... and it doesn't matter what you've done, all that matters is that you're here now." Slowly, the raven's red eye gazed up into Shizuo's mocha ones, only making it harder for Shizuo to run away. "You're here now when I need you the most."

"B-but what if-"

"No," Izaya quickly cut him off, making the blond go silent. "Please... No more 'what ifs.' I-I'm scared Shizuo, I'm so scared! I-I can't focus right, I can't remember things, I can't smell anything, I can hardly feel the blankets-" the list went on and on, but the blond had completely tuned it out. Everything he was listing, was all his fault. Not being able to feel, to see, to remember; everything. Everything was his damned fault, why didn't Izaya see this?! He knew the raven just wanted him to be there for him, but how? How could he when all he's done before-hand was cause him to get worse? It was no use; he'd never be able to love Izaya.

"And all of that, is because of ME! THE BIG FREAKIN' MONSTER OF IKEBUKURO!" He snapped into a yell, turning back to the door. He was done. He was going to end all of this. He made the only person he's ever cared for hate him; life just wasn't worth living for anymore. Knowing he killed the person who showed him he could

The first time Izaya was scared was all his fault; no shocker there. He had lost his temper and thrown him into a bunch of lockers when the raven had uttered the nickname 'Shizu-chan'. He didn't particularly dislike it, just the way he said it made him so damned flustered he knew he wouldn't be able to keep Izaya away from him for long. So he kept him away from him as much as possible, but that only caused all this. What was so bad with ignoring him? It did more harm to him then anyone else, right? He was the one that suffered.

Yet, Izaya was the one deeply suffering.

"NOOO!" Izaya suddenly screamed, snapping the blond out of his thoughts. He hadn't expected Izaya to scream, not that loud or to that degree. He sounded so hurt, so pained. But why? Was he hurting? "Pleasee, please, I'M BEGGING YOU!" He cried, his voice choking so badly it sounded like it hurt; and it probably did. "Pleasee, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE AGAIN, PLEASE!"

Something within Shizuo seemed to break hearing the plea. He was so upset. He was so scared. And he had done that, yet again. What had he been thinking? Leaving him would only make things worse, making him feel invisible all over again. Izaya didn't deserve this; any of this. The least he could do was be there for him, feeling that hole that was most likely permanent in his chest.

"Shi-Shizu-channn," Izaya sobbed, bringing his hands up to his eyes. He didn't seem to be paying attention anymore, only making the blond feel worse then before. But that only meant he had to redeem himself; and he was determined to do it.

Slowly, he went on over to Izaya's side, crawling onto the bed. The crying raven didn't seem to notice, so he carefully wrapped his strong arms around his small frame, pulling him against his chest. Izaya gasped at the action, eyes snapping wide-open.

"I'm sorry... I-I didn't mean to make you so sad," Shizuo began apologizing, digging his head into his little boy's soft-raven hair. "I-I don't know what was wrong with me. B-but I promise, I'll never leave you alone again."

Izaya seemed completely lost for words, not moving or saying anything for a few moments. Shizuo was beginning to fear he lost the raven in mid-plight, until he felt the small hands pull on his shirt.

"Shi-Shizu-chan!" He cried, burring his head into his chest. "Shizu-channn, Shizu-channn!"

"I-I'm sorry, for blowing up," Shizuo sighed, leaving a small kiss in his hair. Izaya didn't seem to notice, as he scouted his body even closer to the brute's.

"It's okay Shizu-chan," Izaya mumbled into his chest, his body slowly relaxing. "Hmm... you're warm..."

Shizuo couldn't help but smile softly. "I'm glad, I'll always be warm for you. - Go ahead and rest, I'll be right here when you wake up." Izaya didn't even question it, as he slowly drifted off... 'I'll never leave you alone, never again...'