'Scandal' Fic: Miles to Go Before I Sleep

Miles to Go Before I Sleep

The pounding on her front door was oddly familiar but did nothing to ebb the annoyance that slowly began to build inside her. The accompanying sound of her mobile phone ringing let her know that whoever was at her door was not there by happenstance. Sighing deeply, Olivia got up and padded to the door, pausing only to pick up her offending phone. Shock from the name displayed on her phone was enough to stop her cold and cause her to momentarily stop breathing. It's him. She thought. Why the hell is he at my door. She drew in a few deep breaths, gathered herself and reached for the door.

"Good evening Ms. Pope. May I take a quick look around?" asked Eric who smiled sheepishly.

"Good –" she paused as she glanced over at her clock "Morning, Eric and sure come in."

She smiled briefly at the agent as he crossed the threshold into her apartment. She then squared her shoulders and turned to face the man, still in the hallway phone in hand, who had come to see her at this ungodly hour. He briefly met her eyes and then lowered his to the floor. She took that opportunity to study him as a million thoughts simultaneously ran through her head. Cyrus was right, he's not sleeping. I love that sweatshirt. At least he has the decency to hang his head. I miss you. The last thought caused her eyes to shoot up to his face in hopes that he hadn't somehow read her mind. She was surprised to find him staring intently at her. His eyes pinned her to her spot against the doorframe. They screamed at her, pleaded with her and longed for her. The intensity in his eyes caused her to take the tiniest of steps back. As she shifted she immediately realized her mistake and she watched his eyes take on a devilishly predator glint. In response she narrowed her eyes and cocked her head to the side.

"All clear ma'am." Eric said as he rounded the corner of her hallway, startling Olivia and causing her lower her eyes and break whatever connection had formed.

"Thank you." She replied as she moved aside allowing him to reenter the hall and take up post on the side of her door.

She opened the door a little further as an implicit invitation for her guest to enter. She held her breath as he brushed past her as if somehow - if she wasn't careful - she could accidentally breathe him into her being. She steeled herself to be strong. As he turned to face her she turned to close the door and exhaled. Lord give me the strength.

"Livvy" he whispered in greeting.

"Mr. President" she replied curtly as she turned to face him. "To what do I owe the pleasure at –- 4am in the morning?"

He looked momentarily hurt that she was addressing him so formally but then again what did he expect. He had all but declared war on her the past few weeks. They were both hurt and angry and not thinking rationally. Clearly. He mused as he thought of how tonight he had finally had enough and had to see her.

"I just –" he paused.

How would he make her see that he was sorry for everything? That he was tired of fighting with her. Tired of being on opposite sides. Tired of not being able to see her; talk to her; hold her. He was tired.

"I just –" he began again but was cut off by her voice.

"Fitz, you shouldn't be here. What the hell were you thinking?" She admonished.

At her words he sighed heavily and roughly ran his hand through his hair and down his face. As she watched him she couldn't help but think of how tired he looked but also about how this was probably what he looked like as a boy fighting sleep and no doubt raising hell for whichever nanny was tasked to put him to bed. She began to smile as she thought of him as a boy and raised her eyes to meet his. She watched as he watched her and her smile widened as she watched his form. In that moment, they were a sight to behold. Him – in the middle of the lion's den, and her – facing the man who had vowed to take her down. Yet there they stood, smiling at one another and allowing their connection to slowly heal the hurt caused by unspoken truths and angry declarations.

She cleared her throat and motioned toward the sofa. She took up the left most corner of the sofa and he chose to sit in the middle facing her. She placed a pillow between them as a buffer and chuckled at his raised eyebrow.

"So. Why are you here?" She questioned softly.

"I just, I don't know, Livvy. Things are so bad between us. And I didn't mean for it to ever get this far." He sighed as he leaned back against the sofa and laid his head against the pillow.

"Me neither" she confessed.

"I love you Livvy. I kno- I know you may not believe me but I'm trying to protect you here." He paused and sluggishly his eyes closed. "I just –"

His remaining words halted deep in his throat as he felt her fingertips gingerly brush across his forehead and her palm still and rest lightly on his cheek. With a mind of its own, a lone tear escaped his right eyelid and slowly rolled down his cheek and came to rest on her hand.

She watched as he closed his eyes and rest against her sofa. In that moment he looked so broken, hurt and exhausted. Before she knew what has happening she was reaching over and brushing an errant curl across his forehead. If the look of peace that took over his face at her touch didn't melt her, the tear she felt inside her palm was certainly enough to break her. Suddenly she didn't want to fight him anymore, didn't want to resist him anymore; at least not tonight. While holding her breath she moved closer to him and boldly wiped away the tears. He opened his eyes and stared at her. She smiled shyly and shifted her eyes from his glistening eyes to his mouth and back. He stayed still and didn't dare exhale as he watched her look at his mouth and lean forward. He closed his eyes as she gently pressed her lips to his. He tried unsuccessfully to stifle the moan in his throat but it had been too long since he had been so close to her. As she deepened the kiss his arms encircled her waist pulling her closer. He smiled as he heard her moan from the bodily contact. She slowly pulled back and licked her lips. He watched her closely and relished each moment he was able to observe her.

She opened her eyes and met his. The undisguised longing and hunger in his eyes took her breath away. This was what she missed the most. The simple moments when it was just the two of them alone in the world they created. No veiled glances or stolen touches, just their love on display for the other to see. She leaned in and pressed her lips fully to his. This time he took control and captured her lower lip. She pulled back, stood up and extended her hand. He took her hand and stood up as well. She led them to her bed and pulled back the covers.

"Shoes" she ordered.

He quickly discarded his trainers and looked at her expectantly. Good boy. She thought.

"When's the last time you slept Fitz?" she whispered as he hugged her close and nuzzled her cheek.

"I can't sleep without you." He murmured into her neck.

She pulled back slightly and gently ordered, "get in bed."

He obeyed and she crawled in after him. He molded his body to hers and placed a soft kiss on her collarbone as he rests his head on her chest.

"Sleep baby" she whispered into his hair. "Sleep."

"I love you, Liv."

"I know" she replied "I know." She felt his body relax and the tension left.

As she snuggled deeper she whispered, "I love you too" and joined him in slumber.