It's been a long time since I wrote any fanfiction. We'll hope this is decent enough for you guys.

Warnings: Sappy romance, Femslash

Disclaimer: I don't own Fallout, just playing with the characters.

My hands shake as I type Amata's name into the panel outside Vault 101's door. I can't believe it. I'm actually back at Vault 101, the place I used to call home. I hesitate before hitting the switch, still unable to wrap my mind around this sudden turn of events. No one was ever supposed to enter or leave this hole in the ground, and yet I've been out and am going back in.

When I press the handle, the door begins to slide with an ear-splitting screech. Sparks fly as metal scrapes against metal. Then, the door silently rolls out of the way.

Amata's message and the slightly frantic tone of her voice plays through my mind again, and I check to make sure my Pipboy hasn't been activated by mistake. I know that even though it's been months since my dad and I left, the people in the Vault will probably still try to attack me on sight. Hostility has a way of hanging around. "Best to lay low," I mutter, sneaking through the familiar halls.

I make it all the way to the atrium before someone yells out a "Hey! Stop right there!" My first instinct is to shoot, thanks to life in the wasteland, but the familiarity of the voice stops me. I turn around, hand on my pistol, just in case. "Officer Gomez?"

A look of recognition, followed by a relieved smile, crosses his face. "Thank God you're not some raider that's blasted their way in. How ya doin', kid? Did you find your dad?"

The flash of emotion on my face speaks for me.

"Sorry," he says, "I wish it could have worked out differently."

"Me too," I mutter. "What happened down here?"

Gomez shakes his head. "You saw the chaos unfolding as you left, I'm sure. It never got any better. The Overseer only cracked down more and refused to come out of his office. I don't know how many dissenters he told us to beat or kill." The security guard looks a little ill at the thought.

My mind flashes back to the blur of a day that I'd left the Vault, when I'd been frozen to the spot while Amata cried out in pain. Pain that had been ordered by her father. I realize a moment later that my grip on the handle of my pistol is so tight that my knuckles are white. "Where's Amata?"

Ten minutes and a few close calls later, I'm walking toward my dad's old clinic.

"Who goes there?" Butch's familiar voice crows as he pokes his head out from behind a makeshift barricade. I see him waving a baseball bat and roll my eyes.

"Can it, DeLoria," I tell him, stepping around the nearest overturned footlocker that's obviously meant to slow down security guards.

"My God, it's you! You're alive!" There's something akin to friendliness in his eyes as he steps out from behind his barricade, but I ignore that; he's bitten me too many times before. "Ha, I knew you could make it! I knew it!"

I continue to walk past him, slipping into the clinic that still smells slightly of antiseptic. My old classmates and a few adults I knew in my childhood are gathered there, talking and playing games while they kill time. Amata isn't among them, and for a second, I worry. Then I notice the light on in what used to be my father's office.

I know it can only be Amata inside, likely trying to plan a solution for the Vault. My heart quickens at the thought of my best friend, and I'm only slightly surprised that my old crush on Amata is still as strong as it used to be. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, my mind chirps and I roll my eyes.

For an instant, I'm frozen in place, unaware of everyone clamoring around me. My mind is full of images of Amata's reaction to seeing me. The thought snaps me back to my senses and I offer everyone gathered around a grin. "Hey guys."

They all start talking at once, but I hold up a hand to silence them, surprised when it works. "I'm glad to see you're all still alive and as well as you can be, given the situation. I'm here to help in any way I can, promise." I'm glad I had stopped by Megaton and bathed recently; I was suddenly very aware of the cleanliness of the Vault around me. "Do me a quick favor?" They all nod, looking almost in awe of me. "Keep quiet; I wanna surprise Amata." The rebels quietly step aside and let me move through the clinic toward the office.

I hit the door switch and it slides open soundlessly. I step into the office and let the door close, my eyes going to the desk.

Amata is slumped forward in the chair, leaning on the desk and resting her head on her folded arms. She isn't snoring, but I know she's asleep. Judging by the maps of the Vault and the scribbled on sheets of paper around her, I can tell she's been hard at work. Knowing Amata, she wore herself out so completely she didn't have time to make it to the cot near the desk.

I slide my pack off my shoulder, letting it drop to the ground quietly. My boots clump on the floor much too loudly for my liking as I cross the room and crouch beside her chair.

"'Mata," I call softly, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Wake up."

My best friend jerks awake, sitting up with a startled gasp. She takes a moment to get her bearings before realizing there's a hand on her shoulder. Amata looks over at me, not really registering my presence. Her face becomes the picture of disbelief a second later and she overturns the chair as she flings herself into my arms and throws her arms around me.

"You came!" she murmurs, burying her face into the metal armor covering my shoulder. "You actually got my message and came back!"

"Of course I did." I wrap an arm around her, failing to keep my mind under control. My brain fills with fantasies of sharing a kiss as a greeting, confessions of love, and other things of the like. I fight to keep my cheeks from going red, but there's no stopping them.

After a few more moments in Amata's bone-crushing hug, she releases me, and we step away from each other, taking each other in. I stare at her, committing every gorgeous detail of her that I didn't already know to memory. Her eyes go to the scars on my face and widen.

"What happened to you?" she asks, reaching out and touching them gently, as if she won't believe they're real unless she can feel them.

"Attacked by somethin' or other," I manage, breathless at her touch. Oh yeah, my crush on her is definitely hanging around. "Remember Brotch talking about the bears that used to be here?"

Amata nods, her brow furrowing as she no doubt remembers the images from our old history and science classes.

"They're still around up there, but a lot less cute. And more mean than Brotch let on." I'm tempted to show her my ear and the gap in it where a Raider tore a chunk out when they'd jumped me from behind, but I decide to change the subject. "What happened down here?"

Amata's face displays her concern at my mention of the yao guai, but the moment the topic changes to the Vault, she switches over into the leader I'd always seen in her. "The Overseer cracked down on everyone. The people that had helped you escape got punished pretty severely. I got a group together to go and try to talk sense into him, but he wouldn't have it, and we ran here."

As Amata goes into detail about what's happened to the Vault, the memory that had struck me while talking to Officer Gomez resurfaces. The sight had haunted me since I'd seen it, seeming worse than a lot of the more disturbing sights in the wasteland. My hands curl into fists and I wait for her to pause for breath.

"Did he hit you again?"

The dark tone of my voice startles her out of her thoughts. "What? Who?"

"Your dad," I clarify, vaguely remembering beating the tar out of the Overseer's bodyguard as I fought to protect the girl I love. My own use of the "L" word throws me for a loop, but I decide to focus on that later; Amata's answer is far too important.

"Oh." Amata's face darkens. "It... doesn't really matter. He and I are on different sides now."

I close my eyes as I let what she left unsaid sink in. "How dare he. How DARE he! I should-"

"Stop it." The forcefulness of Amata's tone actually makes me stop instantly, rather than continue to mutter. A tired sigh escapes her and she closes her eyes a moment. "Whatever part of my father that was still inside him has been swallowed up by that... that fiend in his body. He has no love for me."

The pain in her voice immediately quells the anger that had been pulsing through me. I'm not sure how to respond, but everything in me is aching to hold her and fix everything that's gone wrong.

"Whatever," she mutters after a beat of silence. "Come on, it's probably dinner time. Time to ration out some food." She leads me out of the office and back into the clinic.

I help to divvy out the supplies, not taking any for myself. The last thing I want to do is take away from my old peers. When I receive a few questioning looks, I grin sheepishly. "I've got some stuff in my pack; it'll be enough for me."

Everyone seems to accept that for an answer, and I continue handing out food to people from my past. Once they've received their portion, people scatter across the clinic to eat, either with friends, or alone.

I watch as Amata sets her rations aside, going around to every person to check on them and say a few kind words to them. My heart warms at the sight; she's always gone out of her way to make sure everyone around her is happy, and even in the midst of this, she's still at it. It's just another reason I love her.

My inner dialogue's use of the word "love" strikes me as strange again, and I turn away so Amata won't look up and see my red cheeks. I desperately need a distraction, so I duck back into the office and get some food out of my bag, taking an extra second or two to compose myself. Then I rejoin everyone in the clinic, plopping down to eat beside Amata.

Everyone seems rather in awe of me, and subtly form a circle around me.

"Hey," Butch suggests as he tears open a package with his teeth. "Tell us a few stories about what it's like up there."

A few people echo his request, and a glance at a curious Amata gives me no choice. I decide to stick to the less danger-filled stories, knowing that terrorizing them isn't the smartest plan, what with the entire Vault apparently still being in a high-strung state of chaos.

I start with the sky, describing how huge it is. That seems to fascinate them, and a few of my old peers actually look disappointed when I move on to describe how I stumbled across Megaton.

"I hadn't had a real drink in hours, and it was hot enough that I wanted to melt. The wind was ripping across the ground, picking up all sorts of dust and dirt. It stung when it hit skin. I was getting delirious and all I knew was that I had to find some sort of shelter from the wind." As hot as it was at the time, a shiver runs through me as I realize how close I'd come to dying less than a week out of the Vault. "I kinda picked a direction and started walking, and I ended up finding this old pre-war bathtub. I crawled into it and curled up, and it gave me enough shelter from the wind to let me breathe a little. I heard this weird sound, like a robot walking up. Then I looked up and there was a Protectron standing over me. 'Howdy, pard-nur,'" I mimic, eliciting a few giggles from my audience. "He kept saying 'Welcome to Megaton' and mentioned something about getting a drink. I got up and followed him, and found myself looking up at this giant metal shell of a wall. Inside it was this protected little city. I got a drink and got to know a few people, and it became a sort of home base for me. It's cool," I finish with a smile.

Everyone looks appreciative, and most of the faces are full of wonder as they try to imagine what I've described.

"Aw, c'mon," Butch breaks in. "We can all see the scars! Tell us a real story!"

I falter, wanting to glare at Butch; this was exactly what I was hoping to avoid. Unfortunately for me, everyone seems eager to hear the more dangerous stories. I cast a helpless glance at Amata, who looks half-interested and half-worried. I get the feeling she doesn't really want the dreams of the outside dashed, but I can't help but wonder if part of it is that she's worried to hear about what I've gone through.

Amata looks away and gives me a little shrug as if to say "go for it."

"Uh..." I shift uncomfortably, trying to think of something. "Well, there was this one time I was walking through DC and saw this giant ant." I hold out my arms to show the size, getting a few bug-eyed faces in response. Part of me wants to laugh at the irony, but I continue with my story. "I was still pretty naive at that point, so I didn't think too much of it, other than wonder how it got so big. All the radiation's done some weird stuff, though, so it was pretty easy to just assume it was because of that and carry on. But I didn't really realize the ant had seen me." I pause for effect, getting my thoughts in order as everyone seems to lean in interestedly. A glance at Amata shows that she's interested, too, though she seems to be expecting a violent turn. "Sure enough, I heard a little bit of scuttling behind me, and turned around just in time to see this ant rear up. The next thing I know, everything's on fire. My armor, the brush on the ground, everything. I was terrified, too much to really feel it burning. I tried to run away, and when the ant followed me, I realized the ant was spitting the fire."

There's surprised murmuring going on around me.

"At that point, I was so terrified I didn't really know what to do. It was either run away, or try to kill it. I tried to turn and run, but it shot fire at me again, so I realized I'd have to kill it or it'd kill me before I could get away. I couldn't see to aim my gun at it through the fire, so I grabbed a piece of pipe laying on the ground and started swinging at it. It took a few good hits, but it finally hissed and dropped dead. I dropped the pipe and ran toward the river; the adrenalin was wearing off and I could feel everything burning. I threw myself in the water and let everything soak and quit burning. My armor was shot, and I had a few good sized burns, but I obviously survived."

That seems to satisfy them and they all finish their meals and break off into little groups, murmuring about giant ants and other horrors of the wasteland they've dreamed up. Amata and I look at each other, shrugging before cleaning up some of the trash and returning to the office.

"That was... interesting," she says as we settle down on the floor across from each other.

"Yeah." I scratch my nose and lean back against the wall. "I'm kinda surprised everyone was so dead set on hearing stories. I'm lousy at telling them."

Amata gives me an incredulous look. "You're kidding, right? You're just, I don't know, a beacon of hope to these people. They're all feeling trapped, and you've been outside. That's pretty much everything they've been hoping for. You represent their hope."

My cheeks darken. "Oh."

Amata watches me for a second, then laughs softly. "It never fails to blow my mind how much you underestimate your importance."

I scowl at her, sticking my tongue to let her know I'm kidding. "Shut up. I just don't think about it, okay?"

Her face breaks into a grin. "Okay."

We go quiet, our minds busy as we just sit there and enjoy the silence with each other. It's been a long time since I've been able to sit with someone and not worry about whether or not my pistol was close at hand. My mind relaxes, and soon I'm reminiscing about my childhood in the Vault.

"Do you remember the time we put shaving cream in Jonas' toothpaste?" I ask with a grin, the memory flashing in my mind.

Amata snorts and throws her hands up in surrender. "That was all you! All I did was laugh at the effect."

I mimic his reaction, making a sound not unlike a dying molerat and flailing around a little. We both double over laughing at the memory.

"Or the time we swapped the sugar with salt for the bake sale? Remember that one?" Amata giggles.

I crack a smile, massaging the ache in my side from laughing so hard. "That was especially devious."

Amata grins proudly. "My best moment!" she says dramatically, striking a pose.

"We were worse than Butch and his Tunnel Snakes at times, weren't we?"

Amata smiles, her eyes twinkling. "Maybe. But we didn't hurt anyone, so I think we were a good kind of worse."

I nod in agreement. "Either way, we had fun."

Amata hums her agreement, and we both go quiet, our minds going through all our fun times together.

I'm lost in memories of sleepovers and practicing with my old BB gun when Amata breaks me out of my thoughts.

"What's it really like up there? You told a few stories earlier, but you seemed to be picking and choosing pretty carefully."

I look up and meet Amata's gaze. Her eyes are sparkling with curiosity and I absolutely can't resist her. "Well..." I'm not sure where to begin. "It's huge. More dangerous than you might imagine, too. There's times it feels like everything is out to get you. So I suppose it's terrifying, in that regard." I purse my lips, images of my travels flashing before my eyes. "The world is just so... different from how we always heard. People will try to kill you if they want something of yours. Kill or be killed, I guess. Friends are hard to come by, but once you have them, they're pretty special." A half-smile flicks across my face as I remember introducing myself to Carol and Greta in Underworld.

Amata studies my smile for a moment, hesitating before asking her next question. "Have you... found anyone special?" It's a loaded question, and I can tell that she knows the underlying meaning in her words.

Bittercup, the eccentric blonde from Big Town, pops up in my head. I bite back a giggle as I remember her awkward flirting. "Nah, not really. There's only room for one girl in my heart, and no one out there really compares."

Amata quirks a brow at me and looks like she wants to question me further. My cheeks color as I realize what I've said, and she seems to decide to drop it.

After a moment, she decides to change the subject. "Half of the rebels want to open the Vault, and the other half wants to stay here, with it sealed up." She sighs and rests her chin on her knees. "I don't know what to tell them, or what to choose." Amata's quiet for a moment. "From what you've said, it sounds dangerous, but..."

"It is dangerous," I agree, chewing on my lower lip thoughtfully. "Though how much longer can the Vault sustain itself? If you don't run out of supplies, then how long will it take until everyone's sleeping with their cousin?"

Amata purses her lips and falls silent again.

"Y'know how it was supposed to be after we got out of the Vault, the world was lush and green and full of life again?" I ask quietly. "It's not. I haven't seen a single green thing, save the Super Mutants, and everything is dried up and dead. So if you're banking on that, don't."

Amata scowls, burying her face in her hands. "Ugh. I don't want this responsibility anymore." She peeks at me through her fingers. "Take me away from here?"

I grin. "You'd probably hate it out there. You love the Vault too much, and besides, I'd never willingly put you in danger."

She drops her hands and shoots me her secret weapon: an adorable little pout. She'd used it for years to get me to do what she wanted; we both knew I couldn't resist.

I cover my eyes with my hands, sticking my tongue out at her. Content in the knowledge that I've won against her pout, I grin and slouch back against the wall.

An instant later, Amata's fingers are skittering across my ribs, tickling me. I shriek and flail my arms around, trying to regain some control of the situation. I manage to curl around and tackle her, and we wrestle back and forth for a few minutes, giggling and panting. We finally just collapse on the floor in a breathless heap.

"My dad always used to tell me to be careful with you," I tell Amata, a smile on my face as my mind shoots back to years gone by. "He didn't want me breaking your neck."

Amata chuckles and punches me on the arm gently. "Little does he know, I can take you down!"

"Did," I correct without thinking, though a wave of sadness crashes over me a split second later.

A beat of confused silence passes. "Did what?"

"Did know. Not anymore. He's dead, 'Mata." My voice is surprisingly steady, though my throat seems to swell up.

Amata props herself up on her elbow and looks down at me, shock on her face. "What? Really?"

I shoot her a dry look. "Would I lie about that?" I roll away from her and sit up, staring down at the scratches in the metal floor.

"I'm sorry," she murmurs.

I rub a hand over my face, letting out a heavy sigh to help calm my emotions. I've cried enough, and I'd rather not fall apart in front of Amata. "It's okay," I say finally, turning and offering her a small smile.

She frowns, reaching out and resting her hand on my knee. "It's not either. You and your dad were so close..." There's a note of what I know is jealousy in her voice, no matter how much she tries to hide it.

"That doesn't stop death, 'Mata," I murmur, placing my hand on top of hers absently. "Either way, he died protecting me and I won't be able to live with myself if I don't go help accomplish his dream."

She makes a sympathetic noise in answer, apparently understanding that talking about it isn't what I want to be doing right now.

After a few moments of quiet, Amata starts subconsciously playing with my fingers while she tells me how the rebels got organized, confronted the Overseer, and escaped to the clinic. I listen with vague interest, mostly just listening to the sound of her voice and the feeling of her fingertips on my skin. Those two things combined are more soothing than any distraction.

As Amata's voice fills my ears, my mind wanders, acknowledging how much I've missed being here, and just being able to spend time with my best friend. A small, content smile works its way onto my face, and soon Amata goes quiet and we sit there and grin at each other, the air filled with the warm, fuzzy feeling of friendship.

"Thanks," I whisper, and she nods, then realizes she's still holding my hand and releases it gently. Her eyes drop to the floor between us, and I take the opportunity to take her in, overcome with a rush of affection for the girl in front of me.

"All right," Amata announces with a yawn, effectively breaking the silence a few moments later. "Bed time." She gets up and stretches, releasing presumably heading to the bathroom. "You can have the bed," she calls over her shoulder.

My gentlemanly politeness makes me respond instantly. "No."

A sleepy frown crosses her face as she turns to look back at me. "What do you mean, 'no?' You've spent the past six months sleeping on the ground."

I shake my head at her stubbornness. "Yeah, so I'm better adapted to it. I'm not kicking you out of your bed, 'Mata."

She purses her lips and I try not to think about how adorable she looks. Instead, I allow myself a little surprise; I very rarely win arguments with Amata, and yet it seems like I've got this victory in the palm of my hand.

"Fine," she announces. "We'll share it."

My jaw hits the floor. I try to stammer out a response, but to no avail.

Amata grins, knowing she has me trapped.

"I could, uh, go sleep out there in the clinic with everyone else," I offer, feeling my cheeks heat up. The mere thought of spending a night curled up with Amata makes my stomach do back flips.

She shakes her head. "We've already got people doubled up out there. Though I'm pretty sure Susie Mack and Butch have had a thing for each other forever, so it was about time." Amata chuckles a little. "Besides, I'd rather have you in here. I, um..." Her eyes drop to the floor and her voice gets quieter. "I'm afraid I'll wake up and you won't be here and that this will all have been a dream."

The flash of concern that passes over her face at the thought wins me over, though I'm not sure I would have won out anyway.

She glances at me again before turning and heading off to the bathroom, apparently satisfied that I won't disappear.

I sink down onto the edge of the bed and sigh, staring at the floor. I have no idea how I'm going to survive the night.

Amata returns and we take turns changing into pajamas, giving each other privacy to do so. I'm going through last minute plans to get out of having to share the bed with her when she slides in and waves me over.

"Stop thinking and get over here," she orders with a grin, patting the bed beside her. "I don't bite."

Everything in me is screaming no as I meekly obey her and slip under the blanket beside her. I do my best to curl up on my side to give her some room, and I end up nearly falling off onto the floor.

Amata sighs, snuggling a little deeper into the cot. "Good night," she whispers.

"Night," I answer.

Soon, she's slipped off to sleep, and I relax enough to roll over onto my back, my arm brushing against Amata's back. It's slightly less awkward with Amata asleep, because I know she won't be aware of me accidentally touching her. I try to focus on anything other than her and the sound of her breathing next to me, wanting to just fall asleep and be able to ignore the situation.

Then Amata rolls over and snuggles up against me, resting her head against my shoulder. I freeze, unsure of what to do. She snores softly and I can't help but smile. While my brain is still panicking, the rest of me is calming down. After a moment passes and I'm sure she's settled, I reach up and stroke her hair softly, closing my eyes.

I'm amazed at how easy it feels to just lay there with her curled up into me. I can almost imagine falling asleep every evening and waking up every morning just like this, spending our days together and growing old together. The thought strikes me as strange and I frown into the darkness. It sounds oddly familiar to every young girl's dream of falling in love with the perfect guy. That makes me think of my own wordplay earlier, and I wonder if I actually love Amata or if this is just a crush gone wild.

We lay there for a while, cuddled up together as she snores and I ponder. After a while, she rolls over and away from me, apparently trying to find a more comfortable position. I instantly miss the contact, but I hesitate before I do anything. When I can stand it no longer, I roll over, too, and drape my arm around Amata's waist.

She sighs contentedly and I smile again. It doesn't even make sense to me, but just that action seems to solidify it in my mind. This is far more than a crush. I'm definitely in love with my best friend.