It wasn't that bad at first, Raph thought, to be stuck in the sewers where sometimes the turtles had come upon random holes drilled into the ground. Splinter had said to say away from them since they were death traps. So right now he looked up.

It wasn't that bad... really.

Raph closed his eyes looking around before curling into a ball, the bottom of this hole, at least five feet deep bigger than the normal holes they came across which were two feet tops. Now Raph wondered if this really was a normal hole. He shivered as some sewage water splashed in the hole and Raph grumbled about humans being pigs and disgusting creatures.

Raph and his eldest brother had been wondering around trying to scavenge for some things, it was Raph's fault really that they had gotten separated. He had felt hurt by Leo's words of him being better at everything. It wasn't true, he thought, because they were still kids.

Leo had been lucky, he cursed with tears in his eyes. Leo had been the first to walk, the first to talk. The first one to be the tallest in the group. Splinter seemed to always take Leo's side then his or his brothers. It was as if Leo could never do anything wrong, it was wrong he knew it because he always saw Leo failing to do that one kick... a small childish grin crossed his face. He loved the fact that Leo would stumble, sometimes get so flustered he'd storm out of the room shouting that he couldn't get it.

The memory was still fresh in his head before something tickled his left leg. He looked down seeing something, a cockroach, trying to crawl up his leg, "Ugh... disgusting." He swatted at it feeling it squish against his hand. He looked around trying to find a spot to clean his hand with and all he could see in the three feet wide hole was water that was coming up to his ankles. He sniffed before just wiping it on his leg. Stupid bugs always bothering him. He might smell like the trash and human feces but he wasn't trash. He was Raphael, he was strong... he could handle the silence and the smell and the damn bugs!

He took a few breaths, the smell was less now, and he looked up. He remembered that Mikey had gotten lost once for a few hours in the sewer. THe memory was of him and Don looking in one direction while Leo and Splinter went to the next. It was so amazing but it was horrifying. They had never were allowed that far out before and Don had demanded Raph stay next to him, Raph had but he didn't keep well enough eyes on his footing... He wasn't the only one who came home covered in... unmentionables.

splinter looked for disappointed then he had ever looked before. He came over and questioned Raph about what he had been doing. Don replied that Raph had just lost focus but it was that 'focus' that made Raph do eight more sets of all their previous training and more. It was that 'focus' that made him the bunt of Leo's joke 'I'm better, I can keep my eyes on the task, Raphie.' He hated that name because it was a joke...

Then Mikey started using, he didn't mind at first until Mikey started using it like 'that'. 'Raphie~~~ can't do anything right!' that had been the straw. He closed his eyes cuddling against the wall as he cried harder. He had struck Mikey across the face in anger. He didn't want to be called weak, useless... or... or that he couldn't do anything right... he tried to be like Leo and Don, but he wasn't. He wasn't allowed to be as carefree as Mikey, he wasn't the youngest... he was stuck in the middle.

Unwanted.

The time that continued to pass seemed so slow but long. He could hear a distant clock ticking away, he threw a rock in his mind at it but all he could hear was the splash of water... his mind wanted to say something stupid, curse him out like the world did. He took in the side of the water, a bit higher, and he closed his eyes. So his family was probably looking for him. Leo ran back like the baby he was...

Would Leo run back? Once Leo had actually went looking for him on his own when they had that race. He had been stupid and ran into that albino crocodile. It had been the scariest moment of his life but Leo came for him and saved him.

"Another thing to hold over my head." his voice was shaking just as much as he was shivering.
Raphael had always been jealous of Leo, he supposed. It wasn't just Leo Raphael was jealous of but Don had been the second one to do everything right. IT wasn't the karate that had made Splinter proud it was the fact that one of his sons was a genius, would be able to do anything... he was just like Leo... "Why am I so stupid?" he stood up and began trying to find footholds or hand grips so he could climb out but the stone was smooth.

"LEO!" he called out finally after, he didn't have any idea how long, he was down here. "Leo!" His echo called back sounding sarcastic. "Leo!" another rang out seeming to be laughing. "Leo..." they kept getting worse before it faded out. He wanted to scream. Even his own echo hated him! He dropped to sit making a splash, causing a small hole in the wall to start moving. Raph blinked crawling the two steps over before he screamed as bugs, roaches, splinters... BUGS... crawled out, crawling in the water up his skin... He screamed splashing around swatting at them as his shell hit the wall. He heard buzzing and he looked over seeing more bugs crawling over the lip of his shell. A howl of horror left his lips as he tried to claw his way up, the bugs biting at his legs, any ich they could find. "LEO!" he screamed one last time before he just stood there thrashing against the wall, swatting at his face... he couldn't risk opening his mouth to scream again... he didn't want to have the bugs crawling in.

All he felt was the itch of fire running across his skin, his mind trying to desperately shut down as he looked at his knees. He could see a few of the bugs, ants mostly now seeming to have taken a liking to his flesh, just nibbling making the bumps bigger. He'd swat them but he knew they'd come back. He tried.

slowly the water had reached his middle shin, he shivered as he sloshed his hands through it, the ants had been splashed away a while ago and he felt happy about that. Now the skin looked puffy and red, a few actually bleeding, and he tilted his head back to look up at the top of the hole, "'s been long..." he slurred out tired. He didn't want to fall asleep here but he could tell it had been hours since he came here. If Leo had not gone back yet he would have now. If Raph was tired it was sure time for bed, Splinter would be concerned if Leo wasn't back. "Is he worried about me?"

"Raph?" the voice was weak. It had first been brushed off because the water sloshing around had been louder than it. "Raphie?" the voice sounded scared. He didn't move, he wanted to laugh and look up but he couldn't. The walter was now nearly up to his shoulders.

"Oh god... oh god... Raphie..." Raph heard the shifting of rocks, "I found him! I... he's not moving Master Splinter!"

"My son, Raphael." Raph felt the tears running down his face but he couldn't move. He knew it was stupid but as he turned his eyes he spotted the bugs swimming over to him, crawling up onto his shoulder or head, some crossing his mouth. HE couldn't call out or move... he was scared.

He heard a splash beside him, something pulling at the age old rope as they came down. The matted grey of Splinter's fur came into Raph's sight as he nearly called out, a bug pausing on his mouth which he nearly inhaled, and he stifled his excitement.

They should be in bed... It took them this long to find him and he had stayed still, they didnt' seem worried at all that he had moved... He didn't hear Splinter move at all as Raph sat there, the water from the sewers splashing down again, filling a few more inches.

"My son?" the fear in the voice was pronoun. "Raphael, please be awake and well." he watched from the corner of his eyes as Splinter stooped down covering his tunic with the filth of the water... with Raph's filth. He felt his arms fall to his side as he was lifted up, the stinging of the bites, cuts, his nails bleeding as the skin around his fingers were peeled and cracked. He felt Splinter carry him up one handed to the top of the whole and set him down, not gently... no, not for him... he didn't move much but his eyes wandered over to look at ... Leo?

Of course Splinter Jr. would be here. He turned his eyes to look at the old rat, his master and father before he felt Leo's hand swipe away at some bugs still clinging onto his skin, "I'm sorry... I...I didn't mean to leave you! I ... I was mad..." Leo cried as he hugged his brother. "You kept saying I was better... I just... I wanted to make you jealous... I'm sorry."

Raph opened his mouth slightly before closing it, he turned a bit shivering now that the slightly warm water was gone. Splinter dropped down again scooping him into his arms, "Let us go, Call your brothers so we may make sure we are all safe." Leo nodded as he used the walkie talkie they scavenge a while ago.

"WE GOT HIM!" he nearly shouted out only to say in a softer tone, "Donnie, Mikey... we have him!"