Mirror, mirror

Someone posted on the Mayim's facebook page the proposal: Why can we not have a "Mirror/Mirror" Universe for you guys on Big Bang Theory?Penny is the nerdy grad student, and Amy and the guys are like these impossibly cool epic badasses?

It was Friday night and Penelope was collating her Physics dissertation notes. She must have been butter because she was on a roll! Her latest string theory hypothesis was nearly fully formed and she'd managed to play with her hair enough that it looked like Sailor Moons. Life was looking up especially since this was the night of her first planned female sleepover.

There was only an hour before her guest arrived and she wanted to be prepared. Her concentration was not to last though as the lift beeped and a very happy female moan into the corridor. Penelope knew that sound; she rolled her eyes. More moaning, the sound of body hitting wall followed by the sound of keys dropping and a girl giggling.

"Oh S. Lee not being able to get the key in the lock..." whatever the rest of the sentence were swallowed up by the fierce attention of S. Lee's lips.

Penelope looked out of her peep hole and spied the leather jacket clad man from next door in a compromising position with his new regular squeeze. It seemed crazy to Penelope that the goateed serial womanizer had been tamed. However, there was the proof: pinned against the wall by the 'gentleman' from next door. Penelope slid her glasses up her nose and huffed: womanizer meet's man-eater a match made for disturbing the neighbours.

S. Lee Cooper was a session musician in Hollywood. He worked on all the top shows and in his spare time dabbled in modelling. Finding work was never difficult because he was incredible looking: those piercing blue eyes, strong shoulders and messy brown hair always generated attention. Penelope had reason to believe that his hair was always messy because he was in a continued state of just having had coitus.

"Amy my flower" he purred as the woman proceeded to let his hand roam up her dress. "You need to stop kissing me" there was a pause and a moan that resonated throughout the building. "And biting me too..." he said in the most unconvincing voice in history. "You naughty girl! I need to pick up my keys" he moaned the request unconvincingly. "Or do you want to pick them up you vixen!" More giggling and more kissing noises ensured.

Penelope couldn't take it any more. She opened the door to ask them to stop but they were too busy enjoying themselves. Nothing was going to separate them from that kiss, it was like they were discovering how to breath. Penelope marched towards them, long cardigan flowing behind her about to give S. Lee a piece of her mind, when the door opened.

Penelope's heart stopped.

It was Len, the hunky motorbike mechanic that S. Lee shared 4A with. She and Len had met when he helped her move in. She rewarded him with pizza and the friendship had stuck; as had the crush. Len was short to medium size with a cute goatee and an incredible body from continually working with bikes. It also helped that he was wackdoodle on extreme sports. His brown eyes were piecing and reduced Penelope to a quivering wreck every time she saw him.

One thing Penelope knew for sure, if she and Len had babies they'd be clever and beautiful.

"Oh thank cow for that!" S. Lee's Texas twang mumbled, picking Amy up and carrying her to his bedroom. Amy squealed with delight. Penelope turned on her heels and headed for the kettle.

"Oh boy..." Len said closing the door behind him and heading to Penelope's. "This is what you get when a stylist and beauty journalist like Amy 'dates' a musician/model like S. Lee!"

"Warm beverage?" Penelope asked as Len crossed her threshold.

"Yeah" Len said closing her door removing his shoes and putting his slippers on. Penelope was a bit of a clean freak. "You know I love me some non-optional social convention."

"One soya chai latte coming up" Penelope replied busying herself in the kitchen.

"I hate it when he does that you know?" Len admitted looking towards the door. S. Lee met when Lee took his Harley to be repaired after pulling a stunt on a photo shoot and friendship bosomed.

"Engage in intercourse?" Penelope asked shyly. She hated speaking of baser things like this.

"No that I'm pretty much used to..." Len said hesitantly. "What I hate is when I'm reconstructed on a bike part and he completely disregards the flow of the day ya know..."

"Maybe if you had a schedule that didn't revolve around... womanizing!" Penelope said thoughtlessly before zipping her lips. Len licked his. Penelope quivered inside. She hated when he did that. It always made her feel baser... There was an uneasy pause between the two friends.

"So are you still going to have Dr Cooper stay over?" Len questioned moving the papers from the sofa and reclaiming the stop he thought of as his.

"Yeah, Missy's great" Penelope enthusiastically replied finding Len's man size cup. "Not only is she going to help me with my dissertation but she promised to speak to S. Lee for me about the Shamy situation... She said, and I'm quoting directly here: 'It'll be my pleasure to speak to little Shelly for you!'"

"Missy's great... Especially when she calls him: Sheldon" Len agreed reclining. "I've known the guy for 8 years and I still can't get over the fact the S stands for Sheldon"

"You know what he told me his S stood for the first time I met him?" Penelope asked as she set up the tea tray. "Sexy!"

"Well, Missy will certainly bring him down a peg" Len agreed. "Did I ever tell you the time Missy wrote S. Lee and me a roommate agreement? If he doesn't stick to it I get to call the senior female Doc Cooper... And S. Lee hates his mother coming to stay!"

Penelope was just serving Len his tea when they heard the lift door open. Missy was happily talking her boyfriend Raj about their plans for this weekend. Of course they were going to be 'off the hook' because Raj was the most sought after party planner in Hollywood.

"Should we warn them?" Penelope asked.

"Nope! It might stop S. Lee for a..."

"Sheldon Lee Cooper!" exclaimed a very angry Texan female. "What in the Lord's name are you doing with that woman?"

Penelope and Len shot out of her apartment to his in time to see Dr Missy Cooper stalking away from her shirtless brother. If it was possible S. Lee's hair looked even messier.

"She's no woman" S. Lee hollered buttoning his trousers. "She's my wife: Melissa!"

How could S. Lee have eloped with Amy Fowler? The whole room seemed to stop. Raj stood next to his girlfriend and muttered 'Holy Cow' as the mute Howard whispered in his ear. Raj pointed to the fridge and Howard went for some beer. For a stand-up comic it was certainly strange that Howard couldn't speak to woman without something fermented in his system.

Missy didn't seem to realise what her brother had said meant elopement. All she'd really heard was her given name.

"Don't you call me that you gigolo cowboy!" She screeched trying to intimidate him with her height and sheer rage. S. Lee however wasn't at all bothered about his nerdy sister stance on his affairs.

"Yee Ha!" interrupted Amy coming around the corner looking dishevelled. She was only wearing only S. Lee's black Gucci shirt and a wicked grin. S. Lee looked over towards his bride and lustfully grinned. Everyone looked between the couple.

Penelope and Len were standing in door way shocked.

"To be clear" Penelope asked quietly playing with her blond pigtails. "S. Lee Cooper man's man, ladies man and man about town got married?"

"Yep" Len said casually. "And in a minute Missy will realise..."

"I thought we weren't going to tell them Mr Cooper!" She added coming over and giving his lips a peck.

"We weren't but you've addled my brain Mrs Cooper" he replied grinning, draping his arm around her.

"YOU ELOPED!" Missy shouted looking angrier than they'd ever seen a Texan. Before the argument could continue the air around them began to vibrate.

Suddenly, there was a whisking of an unknown wind within the apartment. Magazines whipped around as a circle of shimmering light appeared near Sheldon's spot. Amy jumped into her husband's arms and Raj stood in front of Missy and Howard waiting for the danger. Through the floating puddle came four unlikely people: a tall Texan, a brunette from Glendale a short guy from New Jersey and a Nebraskan blond. All looked a decade older than the current residence of the apartment.

"Jeepers!" said the Texan looking around the apartment committing the changes to his eidetic. The apartment's residents noticed he who looked exactly like S. Lee wearing a Flash T-shirt, cords but without the goatee. Mrs Amy Cooper, safe in her husband's arms giggled; her stallion could never look like that fifties/geek reject.

"Woo!" said the brunette at his side ogling S. Lee's chest. "Sheldon: why doesn't your chest look like that?"

"Amy!" the short geeky man said. "No one's chest looks like that!" Turning to his side he saw two shocked blonds.

Len was gawking at this new older, hotter version of his neighbour. She was so womanly and blonde haired, but mainly he noticed the ever loving curves, of it all.

"Hi, I'm Penny" said the blond wearing her hair down, a red summer dress and a wedding ring.

"I'm Penelope" she said playing with her Moon Princess pigtails.

"Who are you?" asked Len, clearing his throat. "What are you doing?"

"Getting a noble prize of course" Sheldon reported taking pictures of the living room. The apartment looked so grown up there was a piano in the corner where the mac used to be, there was only one computer table and a workshop with machine parts in the corner. To Sheldon the room was lacking in both the whimsy and learning of own home; having neither books nor whiteboards.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, how do you expect to do a thing like that?" Missy asked seriously getting upset that there was two of her twin.

"Melissa Koothrappali" Sheldon said turning towards his twin. She was wearing a cord dress, tights and a flora shirt. "What in heck are you doing here?"

"Spoiler alert much dude!" Raj said looking at his scientist girlfriend. She had always been his concealed Amazonian temptress. It made him happy that in another universe; another Koothrappali felt the same and had put a ring on it.

"Then, I shouldn't tell that Sheldon over there that I'm here proving string theory by travelling through different dimensions." Sheldon said looking smug. S. Lee's face was completely blank with the epic scientific coolness of that statement.

"No, that would be okay seeing as he wouldn't know what it means. It's me you shouldn't be telling." Missy said haughtily. "I'm the B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D and Sc.D taking a break from being theoretical physicist at M.I.T... visit my boyfriend Rajesh..." She said sparing Raj a smile before noticing S. Lee was mindless nibbling his Amy's ears while having his hand rest on the side of her thighs.

"You can't be!" The older version of Sheldon said outraged.

"What visiting my boyfriend or B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D and Sc.D?"

"My Missy was a hostess at Fuddruckers until she moved to Pasadena to marry Raj! Therefore you can't be the theoretical physicist! I'm the theoretical physicist in every universe!"

"He's just the soup for brains, way to tactile, underwear model that just eloped with his girlfriend!" Missy said frustrated. Sheldon glanced at S. Lee, disgusted: he certainly was tactile. Seeing himself like that with his wife, in the living room while there was people here, YUCK! He looked over towards his Amy who was trying not gawk at the many modelling shoots of S. Less adorning the walls.

"Congratulations!" Amy said excitedly to the other Amy. "What's the date? Show me the date!" The newest Mrs Cooper, still only wearing the shirt, drew a blank date wise; she dug in her husband's trousers for his blackberry. S. Lee looked down giving his wife a flirtatious smile.

They were completely knackered. She and S. Lee had been up since yesterday morning. They'd danced the night away before eloping at sunrise on the beach. Then, they'd hired a yacht and been consummating their union ever since.

Amy showed older Amy the phone displaying date.

"You told me this would be like a twilight zone..." Penny muttered to Leonard. "But I never expected Shamy like that... It's a mental image I won't be able to scrub!"

"Ha" Len said to Penny. "We call them Shamy too... they love that because they're in THE industry."

"Poincaré and Einstein's would be so proud with regards special relativity..." Amy gushed to her counterpart. She chanced a glance at the bare-chested S. Lee: then, to her own husband. "Today is the temporal nexus point for our universe cuddles: our wedding day!" A giggle erupted from Dr Amy Farrah Cooper-Fowler.

"Now hold your donkeys!" S. Lee shouted looking around the room bewildered.

"Dear Lord the underwear model finally speaks and he's an idiot." Sheldon commented to his friends.

"He can't be Sheldon Lee Cooper!" fumed S. Lee waking up a little.

"I'm actually Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper-Fowler!" Sheldon corrected himself. "We both hyphenated when we pair bonded..."

"But you can't be here!" S. Lee stomped angrily. "There aren't mirror universes or multiple dimensions or anything like that!"

"HA!" Leonard said to the room at large. "Looks like there's is one version of Sheldon that doesn't believe in special relativity..."

Written while also working on the final chapter of Progeny paradigm... BECAUSE I saw the suggestion about a mirror universe and a plot bunny was born. What could be more mirrored for our Shamy then tactile womanizer and lusty man-eater?

For the record – the S. Lee in my head is very funny without meaning to be.

Thanks for reading.