Oh mah GODS, you guys, such positive response…I'm having so many feels right now :') Y'all get a choc chip cookie and juice, here ya go! (:) \~/

CREDIT to Insanity is my second name for the plot and title!

Hera was fuming as she stormed through the forest. Nymphs and dryads quickly scurried out of her way. Crazy, jealous cow ladies aren't something one would want to deal with...She sipped the cup of wine she had with her, hoping it would calm her down a bit. It didn't. She needed a lot more than an aspirin and wine to calm down.

"Um...ma'am?" a young dryad girl interrupted Hera's thought stream, which mainly involved dragging whoever was responsible by the hair and XXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXX and then shoving it through a XXXX XXXXXXX XXX XX XXXX right after she was done XXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX.

*certain sections of the above paragraph have been censored due to extremely graphic images*

"What is it?" she snapped at the poor dryad. "Can't you see I'm thinking up sadistic torture plans?"

The nymph cringed. "Actually, my lady, I may be able to turn into a tree, but I'm not a mind reader so I can't technically see that you're thinking up sadistic torture plans..."

Her friends were waving frantically at her. They didn't need to-anyone with half a brain would have the sense to make themselves scarce when Hera started to look THAT livid. But then again, most with half a brain wouldn't antagonize her in the first place...

"That dryad," Hera muttered darkly to herself, "is going on my People-To-Torture list."

"What she was trying to tell you, milady-Wait. You have a People-To-Torture list?" her friend asked with interest.

"I do, and your name is going to be added if you don't tell me what you want to tell me in the next three seconds," Hera said in a steely voice. She was feeling a little light-headed...She hoped she hadn't had too much wine. 'Calming down' was one thing. 'Getting drunk', she could leave that to Dionysus.

"Well ma'am, she was trying to say that...uh...you have a monkey tail pinned to your skirt..." the dryad said weakly.

Hera looked at her uncomprehendingly. "I'm sorry?"

"It was this robotic monkey-thing...it pinned a monkey tail to your skirt..." she trailed off when she saw Hera staring blankly at her.

Hera didn't know what was wrong with her. Her head was definitely fuzzy, and she tried focusing on what the dryad said. "Robotic monkey-thing pinned a tail to my skirt..."

Suddenly, something snapped in her mind.

The dryads looked with amusement at the antics of the queen of the gods.

"Prim (1)?" the first dryad asked her friend after she had rematerialized to watch the show. "You forgot to tell her that the robotic monkey-thing slipped a pill in her wine."

"I was going to, but she went crazy before I could. I don't think we need to worry about getting tortured anytime soon...Lady Hera's gonna put whoever was responsible for this right at the very top," she chuckled.

"Um, Chiron?" Katie Gardener muttered from the side of her mouth at the dinner table. "You'd better come to the Big House fast."

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked in bewilderment.

"We-ell," she hedged, "It's kind of a seeing-is-believing thing..."

"Katie, you're worrying me. What is it?"

"You won't believe me."

"Try me."

She did. Predictably, he didn't believe her, not until she dragged him to the Big House and showed him.

Actually, technically speaking, even then he found it unbelievable.

"Tell Lord Zeus about this," he managed. "He should know that-that-"

"WHADDYA MEAN, MY WIFE IS DELUSIONED INTO THINKING SHE'S A MONKEY!" screeched Zeus.

Zeus's migraine was really reaching. When he entered the infirmary in the Big House, he nearly felt like passing out. Well, if he did, at least he wouldn't need to go far for medical help.

"What-what happened?" he finally managed.

The Apollo healer who was examining the goddess gave his verdict. "Well, I think someone slipped a pill in her drink, a pill which makes the consumer feel that-that-well, that they're a monkey."

"A pill? Who makes such a pill?"

"Pranksters-R-Us."

"How do you know that Pranksters-R-Us makes pills like these?"

Said healer blushed. "Well, all us demigods browse through their catalogues at some point or the other. I was planning to use that pill, too, once. Well, that or the farting hamburger."

Zeus suddenly felt a wave of relief wash over him as he remembered (thankfully) declining the hamburger offered by the Stolls.

Then he noticed something which made his good mood vanish completely.

"WHY THE *bleep* IS A MONKEY TAIL PINNED ON MY WIFE'S BUTT?"

"Well," Chiron said nervously, "we tried to take it off, but she goes into a rage when we do, so we figured to let the pill wear off, and then take it off..." he trailed off.

Zeus rubbed his temples. The headache was the worst he had ever had. And considering he had had Athena pop out of his noggin, and yet this still took the prize...Well, it was bad. But, unless you were a thickheaded child of Ares, you probably knew that. "How long will it take for the pill to wear off?"

"Mm, some time. We should probably let her sleep it out," the Apollo demigod suggested and he closed the door and locked it as they left.

As they exited the infirmary, the gods' misery had no bounds-yes, their misery. Aphrodite, Hermes, Dionysus were all but wailing, though Ares seemed slightly relieved-this meant he still had a chance of winning the bet. Athena, though, was moaning on how her daughter's genius was going to go wasted if no one noticed Hera in her monkey state.

After all, here was Hera, delusional, thinking she was a monkey, and a whole Camp to be entertained, and they LOCKED HER IN THE DAMNED INFIRMIRY! Now who was going to enjoy her antics, the band aids?

Poseidon, surprisingly, was the only one with a calm head, but that was because he was watching the screen and had noticed what no one else had in their dismay-Hera had woken up and walked out of the infirmary without anyone noticing. Probably because they were guarding they were door, and Hera climbed out of the window and down the tree.

"Hey," Poseidon called. No one heard.

He raised his voice. "Hello!" No reaction.

"Hermes's hair is on fire!" He was ignored.

"Osama's ghost (2) is roaming the earth!" Ignored.

"Mount Everest is actually a volcano which just blew up!" Ignored.

"Rebbeca Black is standing on a cliff and is about to commit suicide! Justin Beiber has become the President!" Now THAT got a reaction.

After he had filled them in on how Hera has escaped, they frantically tried to figure out where she had gone.

They found her the same time the other campers did...

Or rather, Hera found them...

"You won't believe it," Percy (3) murmured to Annabeth, "but rumors are going around, saying that Hera's been hypnotized into thinking she's a monkey."

Annabeth raised her eyebrows. "You don't say."

"It's just a stupid rumor," her boyfriend said dismissively. "I mean, there can't be any truth in it, honestly, because…" he broke off.

"Yes?" Annabeth prompted.

"It's not possible," he whispered.

"Well, you never know, I mean-oh," she said, twisting around in her seat to see what Percy had seen. "Oh, so you weren't completing your sentence after all, were you?"

"It's not possible," he repeated weakly.

But apparently it was, because there she was, the queen of the gods, swinging from a branch in all her godly glory.

Zeus's mouth dropped open, and he froze.

"Um, Lady Hera?" Percy called out. "You're embarrassing yourself…and, uh, you're swinging from a tree in a skirt," he said with sudden realization.

That phrase caught most of the boys' attention at once. A small crowd had now gathered around Hera as they watched her swing back and forth.

A few campers who were sympathetic to Hera, especially since she had such a womanizing husband, tried to stop her before she could humiliate herself further.

"Milady, please come down," shouted Paula, daughter of Ares. "Or at least, wear something besides a skirt if you need to swing on trees!"

This suggestion was vehemently shot down by a majority of the male population, because boys will be boys. Paula began to lecture them, but she decided to save time and just gave them a Chinese burn instead.

They shut up.

Chiron was trotting back and forth in agitation. Delusional monkey-goddesses were something even the guy who had seen it all hadn't seen.

Zeus's eye twitched occasionally, but besides that, he hadn't moved.

Hera was finally persuaded to come down with the help of a banana, and she was after that she was led to the infirmary.

The campers slowly started dispersing…

A bee flew into Zeus's still open mouth. In fact, he only moved after the Stolls poured frog spawn down his pants, and he began lamenting the loss of his pin-striped suit.

Meanwhile, up in Olympus, Dionysus won the bet, while Poseidon fumed at how 'that Athena-spawn can't have done something this good' as Athena smugly told everyone that while strength had to bow to wisdom sometimes (4), prankster genius had to, too.

Naturally, this did nothing to improve Poseidon, Ares and Hermes's mood.

(1) Hunger Games fans UNITE!

(2) I share my birthday with Osama. And Remus Lupin :) Anyone else out there who has an awesome birthday date?

(3) Yes, I FINALLY got him in the story!

(4) Okay, practically every time

There's one more chappie-Hera/Zeus fluff. It might take a while to go up, because I'm not really a fluff writer, I'm more of a crack-multichaps and funny-oneshots type of gal.

And, yeah, I'll probably end up making it funny, or some unexpected twist like at the end of Persephone Files For Divorce. Like I said, I'm a crack-kid.

I love you all! Seriously! All of you-yes, YOU. You there, the awesome one sitting at the computer reading this-YOU are AWESOME!

THANKS FOR THE LOVE, GUYS!