Double Date

By Fujoshi a.k.a "Otaku no Baka"

Ok my beta Grey asked me about this and I said "What the hell," because I was tired of making porn.

Yes I get tired of writing lemons.

So here is some Swisspan and Russiamerica.

My goal is to make a story out of every pairing that I can think of or contain one or the other, with exceptions, (such as Belarus/Russia or Russia with any of his sisters, or Russia/Liet. I don't mind Russia/Liet in a friendship sense but them having sex would totally be S and M type all the way.)

Oh and don't ask me for Rochu. It's up there with Russia/Liet, since poor China gets stalked by Russia and is kind of scared of him, so it would be a S and M domination type relationship too, which I don't do. History wise it makes sense but manga personality character wise-Ok let me shut up since nobody reads these things but me.

Warnings: None really. It's a T at the most with hints of perverted goodness here and there, but that's how high it goes.

No I don't own Hetalia and I still don't own the PSP game either.

~~~***•••

Now America was always the one up for free food, but there was a limit on how far he would go. England's cooking was one such limit, and now there was another.

"So you want to take me out for dinner?" America had the phone to his ear, munching on some blueberry white chocolate that he horded over from White day.

"Да." Russia was on the other line, his tongue stressing over his native language. It was dinner time in his country, and he held his cell phone to his ear as he made his meal. "I want to take you out to a place other than those disgusting fast food restaurants, since you are too la-" He cut himself off and counted backwards.

He never completely readjusted his old habit to talk down about the blond, due to their conflict of interest and friendly rivalry. He was really trying to put the past behind him!

No, his sudden motivation was due to his dreams of late; of how he first met the young blond nation as a colony. The boy had then kissed him on the lips every time he visited him. Even after he broke from England, he still called him his "close friend," and would pucker up those soft, sweet tasting-

Russia counted to fifty this time, ignoring how America made a clicking sound over the receiver. "It seems really odd coming from you."

"Well I am, as you say, 'Trying to make amends,' since our bosses are on good terms." He concluded the notion of taking America out to dinner would squash this weird infatuation he had of late. Maybe he was getting too old; maybe Belarus was driving him further insane and making him consider settling down.

There was a pause and Russia had to bite his cheek as he heard a crunch over the line. Figures that the Pig-like nation would be eating something while he was talking. "Alright. Just name a time and a place. Also, I want to do a double date, since a friend of mine has been meaning to take someone out for a while."

"Да, I will text you the location. Have a good day America." There was a mumble before the line went dead.

America sighed and leaned back; he didn't trust the commie. 'No, former commie,' his mind corrected. He knew this had to be a trap or some plan to embarrass him. On the other hand, he really wanted to be spoiled and treated out for a night out for free. It has been too chaotic in his country, and he wanted a break.

Picking up his phone again, he typed in a familiar number.

~~~***•••

Japan grumbled under his futon, a pale arm snaking out before finally picking up his phone from on top of the kotatsu.

"Moshi Moshi..." Hair sticking up, Japan sighed as he heard the familiar loud voice respond.

"Hey! What's up, Japan! How you hanging?"

"I was asleep America; you do know it's around six in the morning?"

The smaller nation wiggled out and cracked his back, listening to his friend laugh. "Oops! my bad, Kiku! Hey, you think you can do me a favor?"

Always one to not beat around the bush, Japan slowly blinked his tired eyes. "Hai?"

"I need you to double date with me."

Japan pulled back the phone to stare at it. "A double date."

"Yeah, you see Russia asked me out of the blue, and I wanted to get some free food, but I told him that I was bringing along a friend so..."

The black haired nation scratched his head. "Hai, I can do that America-san."

"Great! I'll text you the details! Ja ne!" Japan yawned as America hung up the phone and put his touch screen cell back down on the table and crawled back into the futon.

It wasn't until a few hours later that Japan realized what he agreed on.

"Kuso." He smacked his forehead as he tried to preform his daily routine. He was go through his contacts on his phone as he tried to heat up his rice cooker.

Could he ask Taiwan? Japan almost hit his forehead again at the thought. She would not consider it a "Friendly date," and would make something of it.

China? Japan set the timer and rummaged around his fridge. He knew for a fact that China was scared of Russia more so than he was and he didn't want to cause tension. Let alone China held a visible grudge against Japan for the past.

Korea?

"…" Japan shook his head again as he was running out of ideas.

"Wait! Vash-san." The small nation pulled out some eggs and teriyaki sauce; a small smile forming on his cheeks. He started to make soboro as he called on his close acquaintance.

~~~***•••

America sighed and checked his watch. He was suppose to met his "date" at the airport in New York. He wasn't going to dress up for the Russian, oh no, so he had on a leather jacket, a long sleeve blue polo, and some jeans.

Russia wasn't there yet, but he hoped that Japan would pull through at least. He had confidence in his friend and he really didn't want to be alone with the giant nation.

He blinked as his cell phone rang out "Burn my dread," and pulled it out. "Hello?"

"America-san, I'm coming right now."

"Great so who did you-" The blond paused at the sight of the smaller nation running near the entrance of the JFK station.

Japan had on casual clothing, well as casual as the American seen him in. He had on a long sleeve dress shirt over some khaki pants and a blue tie. Trailing behind him was another blond, who had a forest green suit with a matching tie. His hair was comb and parted to the side.

"Vash! What's up, man!"

Switzerland gave a one handed wave and frowned; his friend told him the details, but he still wasn't one hundred percent keen of the idea of being any place with Russia. But for Japan he didn't mind helping out one of the few nations that was close to him.

"Nothing, America. Where is-where are we going?"

"The Russki said that he was going to take us to some upscale new york restaurant called Morimoto?"

Japan raised an eyebrow. "Masaharu-san's restaurant?"

"Oh, you know him too, Kiku?" America laughed; when Russia told him the place he wanted to roll off the couch in chuckles.

The three waited around, talking briefly, until America's phone rang again.

"Hello? What do you mean you got lost? Haven't you been here like a million times before with your spies? Dude, you suck!" There was a "Kolkolkolkol," and America pulled back the phone. "You're in New york, right? Ok, turn on your gps... What? a limo?"

The other two nations were curious about that; it seemed to be that Russia was going all out.

"Well tell him to go to JFK and-ok, you see my hand? We're over here." America bounced and waved his arm as the limo pulled over and stopped near where they were at.

The driver came out and opened the door, and the four nations were flabbergasted.

Russia had on a sharp black suit, with crisp pants and cufflinks as well as his familiar scarf, but it was draped over his neck instead of tied. No the thing that shocked the nations the most was his slicked back gelled hair.

"Ah, Fredka!" Russia ignored the other two nations and walked over to the still shocked blond and grabbed his hand. "I'm glad that you didn't back out at the last minute, да?"

America shivered as the tall nation lightly kissed it, those violet eyes promising something sinister and villainous, he knew it!

~~~***•••

So the four were crammed in the limo, the three nations on one side and Russia on the other.

"Fredka, you are being a really inconsiderate date." Russia pouted and patted his seat. "Come, let us have small talk."

"Hey! I only promised this because of the free food and open bar! This isn't a real date so no mush-mush stuff!" America shivered and held his shoulders heroically. He wasn't scared of Russia; no, he was scared that he would have a good time and become putty under the other nation.

It didn't help that Russia looked, well,decent.

There was the kolkolkolkol again and Switzerland pulled out his gun. "I'm here so that you don't do anything rash," the blond sighed. "America please entertain him."

"NO! I don't want to hand over my as-" Switzerland pointed the handgun at America's nose. The two stared off until the other man pouted and moved over to the other side, crossing his arms with a huff.

"Thank you, Vash-san."

Switzerland sighed and put away his hand gun. It was hard getting it through customs, but he managed with his permit and his ID. It didn't help that they decided to use his bosses' personal jet to get here.

"It's not a problem." The Swiss nation rubbed a gloved hand through his hair. "So how have things been? Nothing else has happened right."

"Ah, fine. We are recovering nicely," Japan could read the other man decently before he answered, "But I do need some new screen tones."

Switzerland blushed and couldn't tune out how the Japanese man went into details about his drawings. He should be used to this "otaku mode," but it was still foreign and strange to the blond. Such things as neko ears and tails were exotic and exciting.

While Japan and Switzerland were catching up, Russia was watching the American with amused eyes. For some reason the young nation was glaring at him with a pout.

The older nation took this time to figure out exactly what made this nation so appealing now compared to so many years ago. There were those blue eyes filled with seething frustration behind glasses, the ever-so present cowlick, his lightly tanned skin, the sharp nose that was always into everyone's business, those lips that were lush and begged to be kissed-

Russia covered his mouth as he felt the blood go to his head and other places at the sudden thoughts that entered it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Het, nothing," he was glad that his voice didn't match his heart beat. "I was just trying to figure out why would anyone, including France, find you attractive." Great, just great.

"What? Oh, come on! I'm good looking!" America hit his chest. "I could probably even seduce you."

There was a pause and the people in the limo were quiet. Japan even stopped talking to inquire what in the world his friend just said.

America grumbled and sunk into the seat, his face red up to his ears. The rest of the ride was silent.

~~~***•••

Switzerland was a bit in awe at the sight of the Japanese/American establishment. He had been to sushi bars before but never to one like that. It was elaborate and creative, with it's lights and futuristic, yet artistic décor.

The restaurant was crowded, with parties already gathered out of the walkway. The Swiss nation was impressed that Russia of all people knew about such a place in America's country.

America rolled his eyes as the tall nation talked to the 'maître de' but deep down he was a bit pumped up. He had only seen the place on tv; he never had the urge to come there.

After they were situated, Switzerland scanned the menu and almost dropped it. He wasn't used to eating such foods, especially not at the prices.

"I would suggest the toro tartare," Japan didn't miss a beat; he personally knew the owner when he was still on tv.

America stared and adjusted his glasses. "Could we also have some good ol' America steak-"

"No, I suggest you try the Tuna Pizza, Fredka." America frowned and got goosebumps at how Russia invaded his personal space by pointing to the item in question, getting so close that he could feel the coolness of his body. He wanted to sit down next to Japan, but the large nation was persistant, pulling out his chair before he had a chance to rebuke him.

Temptation for him to go to the lounge and just drink the rest of this night away stayed strong.

Once the waiter picked out their orders, America was the first one to order a drink. He was already chugging the aged sake down, while Japan settled on sips. The smaller nation was worried that his friend would end up drunk before the night was over with, making all this effort for naught.

"America-san, maybe you should slow down?"

Switzerland shook his head as the other blond gasped and laughed.

"Yeah, you're right!" He took off his glasses, jittery. There was something about Russia that set him off. He knew that the former commie was going to pull out a rocket launcher, or tell him his ingenious plan to take over the world before he strapped him onto a table.

No, he wasn't nervous on going on a date, not at all!

Russia sighed as the food finally arrived. He did not want to attempt to make small talk again, but his thoughts kept wandering. So instead he tried another tactic.

"So, how long have you two been dating?"

Japan accidentally spat out his drink and coughed; Switzerland tried to pat him on the back. Even America's eyes widened.

'That's right; Alfred-san told him that we were double dating.' He wasn't sure what America told him so he threw out the first thing from his head.

"Three months."

"One year."

Switzerland and Japan turned to each other. "Since we first met."

"Since we went to Comiket."

"..." Russia raised a pale eyebrow, but in the inside he was laughing. The gears in his head were turning and he had a plan. "Would you two mind then if you showed me and Fredka the ways that couples interact on dates?"

Japan and Switzerland both blushed. The two nations could not find a way out of this, so the blond picked up his chopsticks and raised a piece of the fish up towards the small nation's mouth.

Japan had his lips in a firm line but slowly parted them and closed his eyes. The blond tried not to focus on the smaller nation's delicate bottom lip so to actually feed him.

Switzerland continued to feed Japan until he noticed some of the fish and caviar on the other nation's cheek. "Wait Kiku."

Kiku blinked as he watched the Swiss nation pull off his glove but couldn't stop him as he used his bare finger to wipe off some of the food. Japan blushed down to his neck as Switzerland licked it off.

"What-oh." The blond blushed, as well; feeling like they crossed a line within their friendship.

America was surprised; he always thought that Japan was a ice-hime or tsundere or cold. America had only ever seen emotion from his friend when watching anime or drawing, but the new reaction seemed to top even that!

Russia was pleased with the mental warfare and decided to inflict some more. "Fredka! Should we act like the happy couple, as well?"

"What? No!" America balked, but Russia raised a finger.

"You do not want to make a scene do you Fredka?"

The blond American bit his lip and pouted. "Fine." Russia had to bit his cheek from laughing as he picked up a slice of pizza with his fork and America opened his mouth. Once the food was inside the blond promptly kicked the other nation under the table.

Russia tried not to show a reaction but he couldn't help himself from smirking. Japan and Switzerland watched as the two ate and glared at each other, kicking and rocking the table like children.

"You two should really stop that."

"Blame him!" America paused his assault when Russia stopped suddenly and started to mutter.

"Сделай это еще раз."

"Huh? Why?" When Russia couldn't met his eyes, America suddenly got the implications of what he said. He understood what he just did with that last nudge.

"Ewww! God! That's it!" The blond rose up and stomped over to the open bar, the temptation to drink at it's peak.

~~~***•••

When the desserts came along everyone had a pleasant buzz.

Well everyone but two nations in question, Japan noted.

Russia and America were to the point of toasty, which was rare in Russia's case. The big nation rarely got to that point, even during meetings, since it took a lot to get Russia under the belt and he was unguarded when tipsy.

"So you enjoy surfing?"

America snickered as he drunk a shot of vodka this time, sipping it back like a veteran. He brought tons of drinks back along with him from his voyage from the bar, but he and Russia drank most of them.

"Да, I rather enjoy sports as you have seen at what's-his-name's Olympic games."

"Yes, I do recall the level of animalistic behavior you had Russia." Switzerland was sipping his drink at a more slow pace than the other two nations.

"Yeah, I thought it was kind of hot-" At America's statement the other nations paused. Before the blond broke out laughing. "What? I thought it was."

Japan shook his head and excused himself. Switzerland raised an eyebrow and decided to follow his friend outside as well.

"Kiku, is there something wrong?"

"Ano, I have no idea." He put his hands in his pockets and sighed. "I am not used to seeing America-san like this."

"Yes, this was a surprise to me; he's actual civil when he's not talking about heroes and hamburgers." At this the two laughed and Japan smiled.

"I have seen America-san at his best and his worse. He has a habit of bringing out people, for good or bad intentions. The fact that he is doing this to Russia-"

"Isn't pleasing, I know." The Swiss nation shook his head. "Trust me I know the feeling."

Japan shrugged his shoulders. "I am not jealous, just worried. I would rather not see America-san fall and get hurt."

"I know, but you have to let him. If it doesn't work, we could always pick up the pieces together." Switzerland put a hand on the smaller nation's shoulder. "You're not alone alright?"

Japan blushed but nodded his head. "Arigatou gozaimasu; it means a lot to me."

The two headed back inside towards their table to see Russia and America gone. "Did those two leave?"

"No, America-san wouldn't do that."

Switzerland sighed and gestured towards the Tofu 'hot and cold' that was brought, inquiring to Japan on how it was made. Japan described him the tofu cheesecake with the soy milk souffle and urged him to try it.

Twenty minutes later the two nations still didn't come back. The two at the table sighed and rose up, deciding to seek them out. They search the bar and all over the restaurant and heard some people mumbling near the washroom, complaining about two men making a scene.

Japan pursed his lips in annoyance, and Switzerland was between pulling out his gun or throwing it at them. America and Russia were making out and acting like school kids in the middle of the washroom hallway, giggling. Japan coughed loudly and the two broke apart.

"It's not how it looks like-"

"Oh hey, guys, is dessert there? I and Ivan were having a chat and-"

The two nations did have a 'chat,' that was more like an argument before it ended up being a make out session. America was annoyed that Russia was fronting up his friends, talking about his "big nose and his fat ass," and Russia described how in the world he would have dreams about a pig which led to the making out somehow.

The blond found out a few things and didn't know if he should hide or blush that Russia, of all people, still had feelings for him since back in his younger days, or that the antagonism America had for him wasn't as deep rooted as he thought.

Japan raised his hand and decided to spare them the embarrassment.

So the awkward four went back to their table and ate dessert in silence. Well, until Russia started to feed America chestnut ice cream with Japanese pears and nuts. Then the two got weird and fluttery again; making the other two nations stare at them.

"Are you two alright?" Switzerland shook his head, his green eyes slightly wide.

"Huh oh!" America coughed and went back to his own seat and Russia tried to adjust himself. They were still kind of tipsy. The blond felt too comfortable and he really wanted some dessert. He didn't even realized what he had done until the Swiss nation had pointed it out.

Japan did not want to know what the heck happened back there when they stepped out, or what was happening now.

The rest of the night went without any incidents and Japan stretched his arms outside, glad it was finally over.

"Thank you, Kiku," Switzerland sighed and put his own hands in his blazer pockets. "I enjoyed myself."

"So did I-" Japan was cut off when the Swiss blond kissed him on the cheek.

"Try to invite me again, or even to Comiket when you do another event." Japan slowly pressed a hand to his hot cheek and watched the other nation smile before walking off.

The smaller nation shook out of his stupor and turned towards America to see Russia whispering dangerously close to America's ear. Whatever he was saying was making the blond blush and the Slavic nation pushed a piece of paper into his hand before walking off.

"America-san." Japan cocked his head and America coughed.

"Ummm, thanks for the help, buddy! I'll see you later! I promise to be a booth helper to make it up!"

~~~***•••

Japan sighed as he finally made it home and fell out on his futon from the jet lag.

He felt his phone ring in his pocket and pulled it out. "Moshi Moshi?" His dog crawled on his aching back and he tried reach around to rub his head.

"Waaaaa, Kiku! I ended up in a hotel in Vegas with Russia and I have no idea how! And we need-"

"No. I'm sorry, America-san, but I don't want to hear it right now," with that said he hung up and put his face down into the comforter, his face red from the memory of his date.

~~~***•••

Notes:

White Day is celebrated in China/Japan/parts of asia and it's usually a holiday that happens in March. Usually guys give back girls items or chocolates that they received on V-day. In America's case he got items back from almost all of the nations. The white chocolate he received, ironically, was from Switzerland.

Moshi Moshi is normally said over the phone as a greeting.

A Kotatsu is a low wooden table on top of a long comforter with a heater under it. It's almost always used in Japan due to the house structure as well as the fact that heating homes in Japan is very expensive.

Japan is cooking a Chicken Soboro Donburi, which is basically a teriyaki chicken, scrambled egg, on top of rice dish. Soboro is like a topping that's used in bentos or sprinkled onto rice and can be made out of any meat.

Tartare is finally chopped raw meat with seasonings and sauces; usually served as a spread.

Masaharu Morimoto used to be an Iron chef (I have no idea if he still is one on the America version or not,) on the Japanese program Iron Chef. The whole show was about cooking in 30 minutes to an hour dishes that were centered around one kind of ingredient.

America called Japan a "Ice princess" and a "tsundere." A tsundere is a person who is cold at first then warms up quickly, while an ice princess is someone similar. Yes America is using the wrong term on purpose.

Arigatou Gozaimasu is the present proper term to say Thank you very much.

Comiket is an event in Japan that's basically a huge place for artists and circles. Circles are a group or a single person who does fancomics or doujinshi, or original comics. It's equal to the anime conventions in the USA/Europe with the exception that most of them are as big as baseball/football events.

A booth helper is like someone who attracts customers in Comiket events. They can be in loli gear, shota clothing, etc. whatever is appealing. The girls are normally called, "Booth babes."

Сделай это еще раз: Do it again.