This is a another attempt at humor. I usually write more serious stuff so please be kind! We all know how Raditz appeared at Kame House so that is where this story begins...

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of the characters. Akira Toriyama does!

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"I won't stand for you turning your back on your true heritage, Kakarot!" the long-haired Saiyan declared. "If you refuse to join us then I'll force your hand."

Before the blue-haired heiress of Capsule Corps could react, the strange alien had snatched up five-year-old Gohan. Goku's so -called 'brother' laughed as the child wailed and thrashed in his grip in a desperate attempt to free himself.

"I'd hate to have to harm my own nephew, Kakarot. But I will if-"

"YOU PUT MY BABY DOWN THIS INSTANT!" called out a strong feminine voice.

Raditz turned to face a delicate looking, dark-haired Earth female who held what appeared to be some kind of cooking implement.

"And what are YOU going to do? Try to poison me with your cooking?" Raditz sneered.

"Hey! Chi-Chi's a great cook!" Goku protested.

"Yeah! Now Bulma's cooking would probably poison you," Krillin added.

"Ouch!" the bald former monk yelled as Bulma gave him a hard slap .

CLANG! The back of Chi-Chi's frying pan slammed into the side of the long-haired Saiyan's head. Only the impossibly thick mane saved him from a skull fracture.

"AARRGGHH! What the Hell was that for?" Raditz howled.

"I'll tell you AGAIN...PUT MY BABY DOWN THIS INSTANT!" Chi-Chi warned. "AND WATCH THAT FOUL LANGUAGE AROUND HIM!"

"He's MY nephew! I'LL DO AS I PLEASE WITH HIM!" the son of Bardock barked.

"NEPHEW? My poor boy has an overgrown DELIQUENT for an UNCLE?" the angry brunette shouted. " It just figures! Of course, you 'd be Goku's relative!"

"Aw! C,mon, Chi-Chi! That wasn't very nice!" Goku complained.

"YOU JUST BE QUIET, GOKU! When I want your opinion I'll give it to you!" the daughter of the Ox-King huffed.

"What's the matter, Kakarot? Trouble in Paradise?" Raditz taunted.

Master Roshi snickered, "Now HE'S going to think he's in Hell."

CLANG! Tears actually welled up in the third-class Saiyan's eyes as the impact of Chi-Chi's frying pan struck him again.

"How DARE you try to start GOSSIP about my personal life!" Chi-Chi screeched.

Gohan fell to the ground as Raditz released him to grab his throbbing head. He ran for safety and was scooped up by Goku.

"YOU WITCH! I'LL BLAST YOU FOR THAT!" the furious Saiyan roared.

"That is no way to speak to a lady!" the wife of Goku declared as she struck Raditz once more.

CLANG!

"AAHHH! Blessed Kami! THAT HURTS, WOMAN!" Raditz bellowed. He struggled to focus as everything seemed to appear in pairs. Kakarot certainly looked strange with two faces.

"NOW! If you're going to set a proper example for Gohan, you're going to do something with that MOP!" Chi-Chi growled. "When is the last time you used a COMB? Oh what am I saying? You need a HAIRCUT, MISTER!"

"You're not TOUCHING my hair, you HARPY!" Raditz raged...

...

"Uh, Vegeta. Maybe wiping out the people of planet Earth isn't going to be so easy after all," Nappa mused.

"And why do you say that, Nappa?" the Prince of All Saiyans demanded.

Nappa pointed to the trembling figure of Raditz. His armor was crushed on his right side. Large purplish black bruises covered his face. The left side of his luxurious mane had been trimmed off just above his left ear.

"Kakarot did that to you?" Vegeta gasped.

"NO! IT WAS THAT DEMON-WOMAN OF HIS!"

...

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So, what did you guys think? Let me know.

daughterofrisingsun