I saw Les Miserables a few nights ago, and that stupid Master of the House song really did have that earworm effect just like it was said in Seinfeld. You know, the guy who wrote that piece of music went crazy because of it.

So here I am, writing the second part of this piece of magnificent crap that is dedicated to and inspired by Yukino Nezumi, because we're the same person. Therefore, I am writing this to myself while I write this. You can only imagine the conversations I have.

I'll put more things relative to my feels on this story at the end, because like the ending credits to a movie, we all just watch them to pick out the funniest names. Well, here you go.

Enjoy, and please review.

OH, YEAH, THIS IS A NOTE: This is obviously not meant to be taken COMPLETELY seriously since I made this shit tons sillier than expected, so a little OOC is just fine—this was placed under "humor" for a reason. I was almost going to put this under Drama & Angst, but I don't want more people to bitch at me. Learn sarcasm.

ONE MORE NOTE ABOUT HEAD CANON: I have many views on my Prissy!Lucian, and amongst them is him being a sexist pig. Therefore, it's completely in-character. (Besides, we only know a flatline, shallow representation of all their personalities, so head canon is perfectly acceptable since these are clearly underdeveloped characters. Don't fight me on this just because you claim they don't act that way. UNLESS YOU ARE SATOSHI TAJIRI, KEN SUGIMORI, OR ONE OF THE MANY PRODUCERS AT GAME FREAK, YOU CAN'T CORRECT ANYONE ON HEAD CANON. THANK YOU.)

So, yeah, um, enjoy.

==Hey, Mr. Music!==

Fast-forward to this morning.

Happy birthday, Aaron! Today you're eighteen, which means you have the liberty to say, "Hello, planet! I'm Aaron and now's any desperate adult's chance to make their move on me!"

Of course, that'd only be if he knew desperate adults wanted him.

The greenette's eyes fluttered open, the sunlight from his open window gracing upon his delicate features. The world seemed to just be encompassing him with love and attention, the breaths of morning traveling down either side of his neck, making him giggle—

…When he realized those breaths were not the morning's. They were Lucian's. And Cynthia's.

For they were laying on both sides of Aaron. Staring at him as he woke up. In his bed.

"Haaaaaaaappyyyyyyy biiiiiiiiirthdaaaaaayyyyyy, Aaroooooooon." They sang in chorus, in the softest of voices.

"…..GAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Aaron sat up, heart stopping for a few moments there. He covered himself with his blanket, scooting off to the foot of his bed. "W-w-w-what are you guys doing?" he cried, begging his bladder not to release itself then and there.

"I woke up early enough to sneak my way into your room so that I could be the first one to say happy birthday." Lucian smiled, striking a suggestive pose on the bed. "Sadly, I was unexpectedly followed by Cynthia, so I guess that one was a tie game…"

Aaron, staring at the two as if they were hideous mutants seeping goo into his bed, tried his hardest not to let the menacing thought of these perverts watching him sleep enter his mind—to no avail. Who's to say that they don't do this all the time? They probably do.

They have.

"Uh…um…" Aaron tried to come back with a response that wasn't "Get the fuck out of my room before I call my mom," but better than, "Thank you guys! You're so sweet for somehow picking the lock on my door and breathing all over me, who technically isn't an adult until this evening!" Aaron, out of curiosity, darted his eyes to his door, which was still locked. Then how did…

Oh God. The window.

"…Well…It's the thought that counts!" Oh God, Aaron, why? "Um…but…I really need to get dressed guys…"

Lucian and Cynthia just laid there on his bed, smiling.

"…You know, change clothes…"

No response. Just smiling.

"…I'd like to do that…privately…"

"Yeah, Cynthia, get out."

"What?"

"Uh, guys…please leave. I need to get dressed, seriously…"

Unhappily, the creeper duo stood and left the room, unlocking the door and stepping out. Aaron sighed and flopped onto his bed. It was about time he got used to this unwanted affection-turned-creepiness from his superiors. As the boy got dressed into a nice black long sleeved shirt and an orange vest over it, Aaron sprinted downstairs and into the kitchen, where his friends awaited his appearance.

"Happy birthday, Aaron, dear!" Bertha laughed, walking over and ruffling his hair. "This nice outfit, yet you refuse to keep that darn bed-head down!"

"Aw, leave him alone, woman. It's his birthday, after all." Flint jumped from behind the trash can, tackle-hugging Aaron. "Happy birthday, kiddo! You ready for an awesome day filled with epic?"

Aaron giggled and high-fived Flint. "You know it!"

Since Cynthia and Lucian had already "graced" Aaron with their presence, they silently sent mental messages of love to the boy, eyes limpid and glimmering as the greenette passed by.

"Only eight hours and twenty five minutes until I'm officially an adult! I'm so excited! I finally get to do adult things, like…well, I get to call myself an adult!" He giggled, realizing eighteen was just another age. "At least I get to have an awesome dinner with my friends!"

"That you do, sweetie. I'll be sure to make something special, and Flint, you'll help me!" Bertha declared.

Wait. Something was off. Flint was never allowed in the kitchen. Why was this happening?

But before anyone could question, Bertha spoke up again.

"Aaron, sweetie, you spend the rest of the day doing whatever you like! Just be back here by seven, okay?" the elderly lady cooed, pinching Aaron's cheek.

"Ha ha, okay, okay, I get it! I'll be back around seven, guys! I actually do have somewhat of a date with a Bug Catching competition today! Lucky me, right?" he smiled, skipping away. Lucian and Cynthia's heads shot back at the boy, concern and resilience in their eyes.

"Aaron dear, don't you need an advisor, or is there anything else that you may need? I'm here to help out with your special day, sweetie!" Cynthia tried her best not to sound desperate. Lucian scoffed and leaned over the kitchen countertop.

"If there's anything you need, you know that you have my undivided attention, Aaron." Lucian sang a small teasing vibrato at the end of his offer. Aaron gave off one of the ugliest faces he could before turning around and reverting back to a forced smile.

"Thanks, guys, but I'm good!" Then he ran. Fast. He was out the door before either of his admirers could come back with another address of affection. Utterly heartbroken by rejection, Cynthia and Lucian shot envious glares at each other before dissipating off to regions unknown, leaving Bertha and Flint alone in the kitchen.

Fast-forward to seven twenty p.m.

Aaron has already come back home, with a new Butterfree friend and a few other small presents from various friends from other regions. Bertha told him to wait in the dining room whilst she and Flint make his surprise dinner.

So here he sat in the middle of the table, awkwardly playing with a fork whilst Lucian and Cynthia stare daggers into each other's faces. As it turns out, this is where they had been for the past seven hours, just waiting until the other one leaves so that they could make the first move on Aaron. However, they have proven to be very formidable opponents. Aaron took this silence as a truce, because they had smiles plastered onto their faces. They'd never been so…nice to each other. Something was up, but Aaron hadn't a clue of their intentions.

Look at that blonde haired, liposuction-bellied, push-up bra-wearing tart sneering at me like she has a chance at this game. Like hell she'll get to him first.

What does Four-Eyes McQueer-Eye-for-Every-Guy think he's doing, just staring me down like this? I'm not giving this up for the world, bastard.

No modest male wants a slut for a girlfriend. I bet she's so loose, you could fit a toy train in there with ease.

He thinks that every freaking guy on earth is a homo. He's probably tasted more ass than a dog cleans itself.

They're probably fake.

He probably stuffs socks down his pants.

I bet her hair is dyed.

His accent is probably fake.

It must be nice to blow your way up to champion title.

I wonder how many of the little boy trainers we get have been touched or seduced by him.

She's probably faked them. All of them.

Those stupid hipster glasses are just for show. He Googles all that information and pretends he knows it all.

As the inner insults were fired back and forth, Aaron began to chew on the fork, getting increasingly uncomfortable due to the silence. The smiles were starting to creep him out, and the only thing keeping him sane were the faint noises coming from the kitchen.

He's all mine. He has to be.

I'm not sure how I'll achieve it…but somehow…I will. I will.

I.

Just.

Will.

Oh, those beautiful puppy eyes, that beaming smile, those cute little blushing cheeks, and that ADORABLE cowlick! I just want to pick him up and squeeze him! He must be mine! I will stop at nothing to make Aaron of the Elite Four my boyfriend, and no one will ever come between us! If only he weren't constantly with—

"HEY, GUYS! I set the microwave on fire again!"

Flint ran out from the kitchen, holding a garden hose, trying to aim the water through the door. Bertha walked out calmly, grabbing a fire extinguisher from the pantry door and attacking her way back into the kitchen, putting out the fire. When the commotion settled, the two elites stepped into the dining room, Bertha clearing her throat.

"Ahem. Well, everyone, since our kitchen is in critical conditions and there is no way I can make dinner tonight, how's about we go to that nice seven-star place outside of Sunyshore?" she suggested, pulling a checkbook out from her coat pocket. "I'll pay."

Aaron stood up abruptly and raised his hand. "I'm all for it!" Anything to stop Creepers one and two from trying to make a move on him.

Fast-forward to now; Eight fifteen p.m., and everyone has been seated, nibbling on salads. Cynthia and Lucian sat on either side of the less-than-excited birthday boy, slowly chewing on leaflets of lettuce whilst staring at each other. Now, since this was a public place, it was all just a waiting game now. Flint kept Aaron's mind at ease by starting conversation with him, making sure that neither of his admirers could interject. All this was a clever ploy, as Bertha kept requesting refills for the table; all this internal hatred was making them thirsty.

So as they stared, the waiters kept on refilling.

And refilling.

And refilling.

And refilling.

"Ahem. So, Aaron, darling," Cynthia slid in once there was a noticeable lull in Flint and Aaron's conversation, "How are you enjoying things now?" Aaron nervously chewed on his straw.

"Pretty good, I guess…"

"Cynthia, don't make him so nervous. Look at him; it's obvious your sudden attack of question made him anxious." Lucian stated primly, pushing up his glasses by the bridge. The blonde shot a glare at him, twirling a fork in her hand closest to Aaron.

"Could it just be that you've been breathing down our necks all day without rhyme or reason? I mean, having some perverted old man watching me all day would make me nervous, too." Taking great offense, the Brit retaliated in a sweet tone.

"I'm only as old as you, Cynthia. Therefore, having some hag questioning me would in turn make me nervous as well. Honestly, shouldn't a woman your age be hitting on men about the same?"

"The same could be said to you, my dear Lucian. Why don't you go around and find some women your age—oh, wait, that's right, you have no interest in them! You're much too busy sleeping with the boyfriends of the women your age!" the champion made sure to say her emphasized sentence much louder, causing a few tables around them to turn.

"Ah ha ha ha ha. You really want to get into sleeping with other women's boyfriends? That's kind of the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?"

Aaron shifted his eyes back and forth, then turning around to the other tables, mouthing "I'm so sorry for this" to the other patrons. "Um, guys…please…"

"Please, there's no record of that anywhere. I mean, how many people in the region have claimed they've slept with me when they haven't? It's all for attention, much like how you love to display your ever-expansive wealth of knowledge."

"Oh, now that's just jealousy, darling. It's your small, feminine mind that can't comprehend what I can."

Cynthia scoffed and smiled. "You are such a chauvinistic pig! No wonder you claim to be gay, you can't get a woman! I'd be appalled by a man like you—oh, that's right, I already am!"

"Well, I had you, didn't I? That says two things to the world: one, that you're so desperate to actually beg a homosexual to date you so that you wouldn't feel left out, and two, it's obvious you love pigs for men! I mean, your repertoire of lovers is that of a college frat boy registration list!"

"Guys, seriously, people are starting to talk…"

"That's it, you big-nosed, yellow-toothed, four-eyed, blimey pillow-biting bastard! You've got something to say to me? Say it, come on, right here!" Cynthia stood up from her chair, banging her fists on the table. Now the entire restaurant had quieted as to hear this delicious arguing.

"Look at you! You've gone ballistic, so violent! What kind of an uneducated wretch do we have running our region? This open-legged, cradle-robbing, tart of a woman who has been placed on more street corners than fire hydrants? Oh, do correct me if I am wrong, please!" Lucian stood as well, taking off his crimson suit coat and rolling up the sleeves of his black dress shirt.

"Check please." Flint noted in the midst of this fight, holding his index finger up.

"Guys! Please, not here! Everyone is watching! Ohhh, this is the worst birthday ever!" Aaron groaned, banging his head on the table and letting the army of tears cascade down his cheeks.

"Damn it, Lucian, you're making him cry!"

"I'm making him cry? Someone should really put you in your place, Cynthia!"

"For your information, Lucian, as far as I'm concerned my place is being your boss!"

"Impossible! I don't work in the kitchen!"

Every woman in the restaurant dropped their jaws, quietly chattering amongst themselves about the offense.

"Ohhh, you've done it now, bastard!" the blonde woman was literally about to jump across the table and strangle Lucian when both rivals had the sudden, hazardous need to use the bathroom.

God damn it, all those fucking lemonades!

However, the ever-lasting conflict sewn into their minds made them opposed to the idea of leaving Aaron in the fear that one would prevail over the other, therefore the pair had no choice but to stand and wait until one couldn't take it anymore.

"Well, you did it, guys. You singlehandedly made this the worst birthday a kid could have. You've diverted all the attention meant for Aaron to yourselves because you two just can't get along." Bertha stated disapprovingly once there was an awkward silence. She checked her wristwatch and sighed. Eight thirty p.m. "Only five minutes into adulthood and he's had to put up with this. I hope you're happy you've made the birthday boy cry. I believe an apology is in order." She stood and walked over to the boy who was currently hitting his head against his salad, frustrated and humiliated.

Cynthia and Lucian, who had completely forgotten about the boy, looked at each other with remorseful eyes. How could they do this? They were competing for his heart, not his tears—and now they knew Aaron would never choose because of what they've done.

"Oh, Cynthia…look at us…fighting like spoiled, rude children over a young boy who's not once showed any romantic interest in us. Just how low did we intend to stoop down to? That wasn't fair to you, me, or dear Aaron…" Lucian said in the softest of voices, extending his hand to Aaron's saddened face and holding his chin up with two pale fingers. Cynthia's jaw dropped. Lucian was being nice to her? Was reasoning with her? It'd been so long since they had spoken to each other like they were both of the same social species. With a watery gleam in her eyes, Cynthia smiled and placed a hand on her heart.

"You're right, Lucian. We were so stupid to let our past overtake out lives, and now no one is happy." The blonde finally saw through, finally feeling a bit of closure.

"Aaron, we're sorry we ruined your birthday, among other things. We apologize deeply for a year of our perversion and stupidity. You didn't deserve that. However, I know you deserve two things: redemption for your birthday, and someone better than us both." The lavender-haired elite sat back down, eyes locked on Aaron's as he spoke sweetly to him. The younger elite blushed only the slightest bit at how Lucian spoke to him—his voice was so soothing now, as opposed to the snotty, arrogant vernacular he had with Cynthia.

"You took the words right out of my mouth, Lucian. He's right; we need to make this up to you, sweetheart." The champion took her seat as well, flashing Lucian a bright smile. Aaron's face went back to its usually bubbly glow.

"You guys owe me some serious birthday cake. Really, really good, top-quality cake for all I've been through." The boy giggled. The older elites all shared a laugh, the other patrons of the restaurant pleased with this happy ending, going back to their meals.

"I think we can manage that, love. However, I think Cynthia and I have something to take care of first." Lucian noted, standing and making his way over to the restroom. Cynthia sighed, standing and hopping over behind her regained friend.

"I've been holding this in for the longest time…" she whispered.

The three elites left at the table all had big smiles pasted on their faces.

"Things really started to look up, didn't they, Aaron?" Flint said, messing with his lettuce leaflets.

"They really did. I think Cynthia and Lucian are going to be friends again, and it's all thanks to my depression." Aaron laughed.

"But I'm curious…after this little conniption right here, which would you have chosen in the end?" Flint asked the burning question once more. Aaron gave a thoughtful look before smiling widely and blushing.

"After the way he apologized, I would've taken Lucian in a heartbeat. It was so romantic, like in a movie. If only you guys saw the way he was looking at me when he said it…" Aaron sighed, considering the offer that was still on the table to date him. Flint and Bertha looked at each other before smiling widely.

"That was all I needed to hear."

Aaron turned and almost fell out of his seat when he heard the voice. Lucian stood over the younger, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"L-Lucian! You heard…?" Aaron stammered, hiding his face behind a napkin.

"I did, and I'm glad. Flint, Bertha, thank you for all your help." Lucian said before taking Aaron by the hand and leading him out the restaurant with the two others trailing behind them.

"…I'm confused. What just happened?" Although he loved the fact that his hands were intertwined with the oh-so romantic Lucian's, something was off.

"Oh, it was a gyp all along. None of us wanted you to go out with Cynthia because we know how she is. Your relationship wouldn't have lasted, dude." Flint held open the door for everyone then continued, "The thing is that the story about Lucian and Cynthia's history I told you was only partially a lie."

Aaron blinked, squeezing Lucian's hand and looking up at him. "Partially a lie…?"

The taller man chuckled and pushed up his glasses. "The real story is that she dated me to get the attention of another boy. I felt so used after what she did, and the relationship she had with the other wasn't a long-running one, either. I couldn't really date comfortably after what she did, but then you came along, my love."

"We weren't about to let that happen to you, Aaron. So we kind of pushed you in the right direction." Bertha added.

"And we all know that the whole spiel with Cynthia and Lucian was fake anyways." Flint scoffed.

"You mean them being nice to each other?"

"Yep. Cynthia would never give in that easily. It was a trap."

Aaron looked back up at Lucian. "Is that true?"

"I'm afraid so. I've known her long enough to tell when she's lying or not. And this was a definitive lie. So, as she fell for my trap, I lured her in further and further until my victory was assured."

"Well, I can see it was just for the betterment of society…and to be honest, I'm much happier with you, Lucian." Aaron giggled, standing on his tiptoes and reaching up to kiss Lucian's cheek. "But if you don't mind me asking…where is Cynthia now?"

Lucian chuckled before kissing Aaron's forehead. "Not to worry, love. She'll be fine…eventually."

Rewind twenty minutes ago

Lucian and Cynthia both stood outside the restroom doors, desperately waiting. The men's room became vacant in seconds, but Lucian had other things in mind. As he pretended to enter, he quickly grabbed Cynthia's arm and tossed her into the facilities, shutting the door and jamming the knob with three strong pulls upwards.

"All in good taste, my darling."

=Keep on Groovin'=

Yep. This piece of crap is finally finished, and what a relief. So, yeah. Hope you like it, Yukino. You're free to request anything else by this point because I enjoy writing for you. REVIEW THIS.