Toxic. That was what she said. The beautiful lips had parted and the soft tongue had clicked on the roof of her mouth and the word had come out. "You are toxic". His brain had refused to process the word. He had refused to believe, in that moment, that she could hurt him that badly. That one word could hurt him. He had straightened his back slightly, regressing to the military style training his father had enforced, and he had pretended not to care. He had pretended not to be affected. He had pretended not be hurt. But something had been released inside him. Something horrible. Something that told him, in no uncertain manner, that what she said was true. Toxic. He burned and he drove away and he destroyed. There was no redeeming feature. There was no final hope. There was no redemption. Not this time. Her soft hand touched his shoulder as he tormented himself.

"I can't be with you" no. It wasn't fair. He had tried. He had tried so hard. But he would never succeed. Because he would never be good enough, safe enough, controlled enough for her. He would never be a good father to her children. He would never cook her pancakes on her birthday. He would never go to a family event without getting drunk and hitting on her younger cousins. He would never be able to meet her expectations. And despite all this, she couldn't let him go.