The Adventure of the Vampire Question

"You must be a vampire."

"Excuse me?"

John folded his paper and looked pointedly at his flatmate. "You heard me. A vampire."

Sherlock tilted his head slightly, and then tapped the ends of his fingers together. "I think you've been watching too many horror movies, John. I'm not a vampire. Vampires don't exist."

"Prove it."

"Prove what?" Sherlock was always ready to prove something.

"Prove that you're not a vampire," John put a plate of toast into Sherlock's empty lap. "Eat my toast."

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "John, I'm not going to eat your toast, or any toast, for that matter. There's strawberry jam on top of the butter, which ruined the chemical balance of the two. Obviously, you don't know how to properly make toast."

John sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's not the point, Sherlock."

"And besides," Sherlock went on, "it happens to be Wednesday, so I happen to be good for another few days. Problem? Oh, and by the way, what is the point, John?" He ended by smirking at his flatmate, who simply stared back at him.

John flipped open his paper again. "Forget it. I give up. If you want to run yourself into the ground—literally—I'll be there to say 'I told you so' and nurse you back to health again," His tone was sarcastic. Sherlock didn't quite appreciate that.

"Or maybe not," he said thoughtfully, licking his lips and putting the toast aside as he crossed and uncrossed and then recrossed his legs a different way. "Maybe I'm not hungry because I've been feeding off of the blood of innocents."

John peered over the paper at Sherlock, giving him a look of disbelief.

Sherlock grinned at him. "Maybe I drain little newborns dry in their hospital beds. Babies are so delicious, you know," he went on dreamily, his eyes skywards. They'd taken on a dangerous look, and John was almost afraid. He'd put down his paper and was now watching Sherlock intently. "So pure, free from any outside substances that adult humans put in their bodies—so much junk it sickens me. All they drink is milk, and it makes their blood as creamy and delicious as, well…" Sherlock paused, trying to find a word to describe the taste. "…as marshmallows. Soft, fluffy marshmallows." And Sherlock licked his lips contemplatively.

John sat up straighter. "That's a lie!"

"Is it?" Sherlock leaned forward, invading his flatmate's space. John got up and Sherlock followed him, advancing slowly and meditatively. "And how would you know? Have you ever tasted the blood of innocent children?"

"N-no, of course not. Sh-Sherlock," John felt his back press against a wall. Sherlock cornered him.

"Hmm, you know, I think I might just be a bit hungry after all," Sherlock had a strangely satisfied look on his face, his eyes bright and, well, hungry. "And your neck is looking pretty good, John Watson." Sherlock was now pressed against John, his hands pinning him to the wall.

John wouldn't meet his eyes, his breathing escalating. "Sh-Sherlock, d-don't."

Sherlock leaned down and whispered in John's ear, his breath hot on sensitive skin. "Don't tease me, John. One day, I might just…" And Sherlock snapped his teeth together.

John gasped, expecting to feel fangs in his neck. Instead, he heard Sherlock laughing hysterically. John opened his eyes, only to find Sherlock in his armchair, laughing aloud. John thought he would be angry, but he was more surprised that his flatmate actually had a sense of humor. "Wait…so you're not…" he was trying to be angry, really he was, but he felt his face cracking into a smile.

Sherlock's laughter died down and he sipped his tea. "No, of course not. I was only joking."

"Really?"

"Well," Sherlock put down his tea and grabbed the plate of toast. Selecting a slice, he held it inches from his mouth. "Except the part about being hungry. I admit to being peckish," and looking at John pointedly, he took a large bite of toast.

John sighed in relief, feeling his heart rate return to normal. Then, he laughed a little.

Sherlock smiled. "What now?"

John chuckled. "I never knew the great Sherlock Holmes had a sense of humor."

Sherlock finished off his toast and shrugged. "You're never too smart to play a clever joke."

A little drabble to begin my series of drabbles! Played with the vampire!Sherlock idea (it's not something I really want to write, but I had fun with this!). Let me know if you have any other little ideas that you'd like to see happen when Sherlock and John are "Off the Case!"