Chapter 7…
The Future
"Hey Vick!" I say as I pass him cleaning the big window of the Bakery.
"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." He yells down as I start to walk in.
"And why not?"
"I got the good job today, its hotter in there then it is out here."
I stare at him in horror, its 95 degrees out here.
"I thought Peeta baked this morning?"
"I did." Peeta says leaning up against the doorframe. "The air conditionings broken."
I walk over to our apple tree and sit down in it's shade.
"It grew fast." I comment as Peeta sits beside me.
"Not really, we planted it after we'd gotten married remember."
I look up at the branches. 10 years we've been married and this tree has grown along with us. I look over at Peeta, his head is leaning against the base of the tree and his eyes are shut. His blond hair is sticky with sweat and his face is haggard from last night's visitors –the nightmares-. Though here, under our tree, he looks completely at peace. I start to think about the night, 5 years ago, when he first asked me what I though, then that night, 3 years ago, he had brought them up again. He really wants them, but I can't push the fear I have away. I know it's stupid but its as really to me as the air. I reach into me wallet and pull out the picture of my best friend and his new family; his wife Liesl, and their baby boy of 5 months, Kyle. Gale was so happy the day he called to tell me that Liesl was pregnant. I remember our conversation, all the way from before the last ever Hunger Games, then he talked about wanting kids. I had told him that I never wanted kids but that wasn't entirely true. I didn't want to bring up a child into this life, into that life, but life isn't like that anymore. My old fears are meaningless. Just like this apple tree, the old one died, it was destroyed, and a new one grew in it's place. I take a deep breathe and lean my head on Peeta's shoulder.
"What is it?" He asks.
"I'll try Peeta."
He leans forward and looks at my face. "Try what?"
I lean forward, very away of Vick whistling near by, and whisper into Peeta's ear.
"I want to try to… get pregnant. Tonight." I add when he doesn't move.
He leans back, pleased yet shocked. "Really?" He asks as a smile grows on his face.
"I talked to Dr. Cherlin about it and-"
He holds up his hands. "Wait, wait… who?" His happiness spills out into his voice and makes me smile.
"She's the midwife here in town." I tell him. "I went to talk to her a few days ago and she said that, depending on when we want it, tonight we would be able to try because I'll be-"
Peeta's lips stop my words. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me. After about 30 seconds water crashes over us from above,
"Hey!" I yell, but Peeta laugh
"Alright, alight!" Peeta hollers then adds in a whisper, "well that felt good."
The water stops, and Vick goes back to washing the window.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Peeta asks.
"Yup, and if I ever kissed her the way you just did Katniss her father would stuff me in the oven."
"Sorry." I say, fully embarrassment.
I know we're forgiven when the water sounds against the window.
"Your really sure you want to do this?" Peeta asks.
"Yes." I say very convincingly. The things I had been the most unsure about have turned out to be the things that are the most sacred to me. Out of everything, Peeta is the biggest proof of that.
"Are you sure you want to try so soon?" He asks.
"Do you not want too?"
Peeta's quick and to the point laugh silences me.
"I just want to make sure you're completely ready, I mean, once its done there's no turning back."
"No," I take a deep breathe,"I'm not completely sure, but I wasn't sure of you either."
He smiles, "very true." He looks down at his hands. "That urn really hurt." He says remembering. "So, we'll try tonight?"
"Yes," I say, "tonight."
4 months and 6 tries later Dr. Cherlin gives me the news.
"Are you sure?" I ask, I can't keep the fear at bay know, it crashes into me like a hurricane.
"Yes, Mrs. Mellark the tests show that you are 4 weeks pregnant."
My hand goes to my stomach automatically. I'm with child, there is a baby inside of me. The hand on my stomach starts to shake and it doesn't escape the her notice.
Dr. Cherlin moves a chair over to the table, "You know," she says, taking a seat. "its normal for you to be afraid with your first child." She reaches out and lays her hand over mine. "It gets easier."
We end the appointment by set up the next appointment for November 15th.
I wrap my jacket close around my body as I leave her office. I wish we lived closer so I didn't have time to dwell in my own fear filled mind.
I go strait to the Peeta's Studio when I get home. I find him sitting in front of a canvas with a pencil. I hit my fist, softly against the doorframe.
"Hey." He says gets up and moves towards me. "So?" he asks nervously.
I nod. Peeta grabs me and spins me around, all the time laughing with excitement.
"So what did she say? Tell me!" He says, setting me back on the floor.
"She said that I am 4 weeks in and that we have an appointment on the 15th, to start charting it's process and to come up with a due date."
"We're going to have a baby?" He asks, taking my face in his hands.
"Yes."
He presses his lips to mine then bends down and kisses my stomach. He looks as happy as he did the day we got married. He stands back up and places his lips on mine again, and doesn't let them go. At Peeta's touch and his happiness the frightening thoughts my mind kept playing fades away into the darkness.
After dinner I call my mother.
"I'm pregnant." I tell her right off the bat.
"Oh love, congratulations. How do you fell?"
"I'm as scared as hell." I tell her.
She tells me most of the things she did the night before the wedding, and I listened. Not really taking it in, just letting her words sit on my eardrum.
The check up on the 15th turned up good information, Peeta and I are told that it's healthy and should be here some time in July. Dr. Cherlin talks to us about things to do in the early stages of pregnancy. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, just really simple stuff, mood swings and eating. With my stomach the same size as always it was easy to let the pregnancy slip my mind, but now that I'm 5 months in there is no escaping it.
Peeta comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my torso.
"To the elbows." He says in triumph. "When's the next appointment with Dr. Cherlin?"
"Thursday." I lace my fingers with his and lean my head back against his shoulder.
Suddenly it moves, I grab both sides of my stomach and hitch in a breathe. It moved, a living thing just moved inside me.
"What is it, what happened?"
"It moved." I whisper into the air.
Peeta moves to my front. He looks scared, even more then I am. I remember Prim moving inside my mother's stomach, kicking and squirming. Peeta never had any younger siblings.
"This is normal." I tell him and his face relaxes.
The second Peeta breathes out it kicks me and makes me start.
"What?" he asks.
It kicks me again in the same place and I grab his hand, putting it over the spot, like my mother had done with me.
"Is that her?" He asks in amazement.
At the sound of his voice it kicks again.
"how do you know it's a she?" I ask.
He gives me a look like it should be obvious. "Feel it?" He asks.
It kicks again, almost at his command.
"Feel it? No son of mine would kick like that. She is your daughter Katniss."
I try to remember Prim kicking inside my mother, for something to compare kicks too, but I can't remember them very well. I can't help but smile at Peeta, even as the fear grows stronger. It must be a twisted smile because Peeta knows something's wrong.
He sets his hands on both sides of my face and presses his lips to my forehead.
"Its going to be okay." He says as he wraps his arms around me.
I lean into him, burying my face into his neck, and I let his arms comfort me. He rubs my back in circular motions, all the time cooing to me in hushed whispers. "It will be okay. We have each other know, and everything is going to be all right. Do you believe me?"
I tilt away form him and nod.
"I'm sorry Katniss." He says, stroking my cheek.
"For what?"
"For how afraid you are, and for the fact that… I don't know what to do to help you."
I lay my hand over his, "just…" I say, "stay with me."
"Always." He replies with a smile.
The forest is all around me, obstructing my view in every direction. I can't see anything, but I can hear them laughing.
"Where you running too girly?" They say from behind me.
Turn! I scream in my head but I don't, I can't. Then it hits me, it's not me. Suddenly, a chair materializes underneath my and I look around my living room. I look back at the TV to see the girl running. She's beautiful, with long blond hair and sky blue eyes.
"Oh my god." The cry of horror slips through me lips as I realize at its my daughter on the screen. The small thing that was moving inside of me this afternoon is now 16 years old, on the TV screen for all of Panem to watch, and cheer on until her death. I stand up and run around the house screaming for Peeta, but he's no where to be found. Suddenly I hear my daughter scream. I run down the stares but I'm no longer standing in my house. I'm standing in the middle of the meadow, where they buried all the people who died in the bombing. My daughter is as beautiful in person as she was on Television. She has a look of disgust and hatred on her face. When she speaks its with the voice I imagine Prim having as young women.
"How could you."
"Katniss!"
Peeta's voice brakes through and I wake with a start.
"Shh, its okay it was just a nightmare." He pulls my up against himself and kisses my eye lids. "Shh," he hums to me.
After I stop shaking I pull away from him and walk into the bathroom. My movements are so robotic, I let myself become numb as I turn on the water of the shower and strip out of my sweaty cloths. I lay down in the tub and let the water run over my body, washing away the nightmare of my unborn child. I don't dare close my eyes, afraid of the images I might see. I'm alone for a few minutes before Peeta comes in. He turns off the water that has filled the basin and sits next to the bathtub. He leans over the lip and brushes my soaking wet hair from my face.
"What was it?" He asks, sitting up on the edge of the tub.
"She hates me." My voice is quite, like a scared child's.
"Who?"
I run my hand over my stomach indicating that the who, is her.
He places his hand on mine and speaks softly. "Why does she hate you?"
My breathe hitches and my stomach ties itself into knots. I open my mouth to speak but all that comes out is a strangled cry and the I start to sob. Peeta puts his arms around me the best he can and I cry into his shoulder.
"What will she think of me?" I hiss into his shirt. "She'll think I'm a murderer."
"No," Peeta says firmly, "she'll think you're a hero."
I lean back and stare at him.
"She'll think you are brave and strong. She'll want to grow up to be just like you."
"How do you know that?"
He looks down at my stomach as though he can look through the skin. He looks back at me, his eye burrow into mine as he tells me, "I just do."
I start getting up but he lays his hand on my shoulder. He grabs my bathrobe from behind the door, helps me get out of the tub and wraps it around me. Peeta leads the way down the stares and into the kitchen. He sets me on the loveseat, we had set in the kitchen, and starts to make breakfast. I see the corner of the TV through the door way into the living room and chills run up my spin.
"Take them." Peeta says softly, placing my meds in front of me on the table. I abruptly feel the need for fresh air, so I leave the pills on the table and walk over to the window. I stick my head out the window and breathe in the air.
"Katniss," I hear Peeta say. "You need to take them."
"They make me sick." I say out the window.
"So you're not going to take anything? Katniss…"
"It makes me sick, and they don't help anyway."
At the sound of my voice she kicks me. I put my hand on my stomach and lean my forehead on the windowsill. I want it to go away, the fear, the anxiety. I hate jumping every time it moves, and that the stronger it becomes, the closer she gets to leaving my body, the more my heart seems to crush under the wait that is on top of me. Peeta places his hand on my shoulder.
"Do you want to talk to me about it?"
"I don't…" I continue to stare out the window, letting the cold air calms me down. "I don't know, I'm not sure I can put it in words."
He leans over and kisses my cheek. "Alright." He says.
She squirms as he walks away.
I'm not sure if Peetas more tense then I am. Every night, and every morning he goes around the house making sure we have everything we need. He put Rory in charge of the Bakery a month ago, then I first started having warning contractions. I miss the innocent kicking she use to do. The first contraction was unexpected and scared both of us. It was midnight, the day after the midwife told us to get ready for them. They started out small and just grew and grew until they stopped. The due date pasted 4 days ago and Peeta and I are getting anxious.
"She'll be here soon." Peeta says, rubbing his hand across my huge stomach.
I nod. I'm not sure what makes me more worried, the fact that it isn't here yet or fear from when it comes. Suddenly a contraction hits me, its small but still makes me hunch over slightly.
"Contraction?" Peeta asks.
"Yeah, small one though." I say, laying my hand over his.
I roll out of bed as Peeta falls back to sleep. The water feels good on my hot skin. I wont even let Peeta cuddle up with me its so hot. A contraction hits me again a few hours later, it spikes at my lower stomach. This one lasts a little longer then the other had, but just by a few seconds, and I don't have another until after breakfast.
"Contraction?" Peeta asks, like he had this morning.
"Yeah, my thread one." I move over to scrape my plate, and Peeta comes up and wraps his arms around me from behind.
"Do you think?" He asks into my shoulder.
He's asked me this every day for the past three weeks.
I lean back against him, "I don't know Peeta, it could just be contractions."
"I got a call from Rory, he needs my help in the Bakery. Will you be okay or do you want me to stay?" He asks.
I turn in his arms to face him. "I'll be fine." I say and give him a quick kiss.
"Okay, you have the number, I can be back in a heart bet."
"Go." I say.
He helps me clean up after breakfast then heads out to the Bakery.
All throughout the day I've had contraction after contraction. Around 5 o'clock they were happening so regularly I started to time them.
The contraction hits me and I time it, an hour apart, I run to the phone and call Peeta.
"Mellark Bakery how my I-"
"Vick I need to talk to Peeta."
"Alright Katniss, just give me a sec I think he's in the back."
The line goes silent for a long moment.
"Her he is.".
"Katniss." Peeta's voice sounds over the phone.
"There an hour apart."
"What are?" He asks, "The contractions?"
"Yes."
Peeta tells me that he will be home in a few minutes and that he'll pick up Dr. Cherlin on the way. I'm on the couch when the door opens, but instead of Peeta its my mother and Annie.
"Mother?" I stand up and hug her. "What are you two doing here?" I ask as I hug lean over to hug Annie.
"Well I couldn't leave you to have the baby all on your own." My mother says with a smile.
"Sorry it took so long." Annie says as she slides her sandals off. "We would have been here a week ago but…" she breaks off and puts her hands over her ears, the way I saw her do in District 13.
I tug slightly on her elbows.
"Its ok," I tell her. "I'm glad your hear know."
She smiles at me and lets me pull her hands away from her ears.
"Actually your timing couldn't be better," I tell them. "I just called Peeta, the contractions are an hour a- Ohh…" I clutch my stomach as the pain strikes me.
Annie and my mother grab my shoulders and help me sit on the couch.
"Breathe." My mother says into my ear.
"That one was strong." I comment then its over.
Annie smiles, "she's on the way."
"Oh thank god!" Peeta says as he enter the room.
"What is it?" I ask as the worried look on his face gets clearer the closer he get.
"First of all, are you okay?" he says coming up and hugging me.
"That depends, what's wrong?"
He takes a deep breathe and looks around at our guest. "I couldn't find Dr. Cherlin. The boy that works for her, Johnny, he said that she had an emergence call and wont be back till tomorrow."
My heart drops into me stomach, but our guests seem perfectly fine with this news.
"That's fine." My mother says.
"Fine?" I ask.
"Katniss, I had you and Prim all by myself."
"And she helped me deliver Sea." Annie adds.
And at that moment I felt at perfectly at ease, okay not perfectly.
"What do we do?" Peeta asks my mother.
"At the moment just relax. It could be a while longer till the baby comes. We'll keep an eye on the contractions and once there a few minutes apart then," She touches his cheek. "we can freak out."
Peeta brought home cheese buns and we all sat around the living room pulling them apart and talking. Peeta's in charge of timing the contractions, and I wish he wasn't so good at it. We'll be in the middle of a conversation and Peeta will just stop talking and… Ooo.
"Stop… stopping!" I snap, "Just keep talking!" I say, huffing and puffing as the contraction grows stronger.
"Umm… where's Sea?" Peeta asks Annie.
She looks at me but thankfully obeys my request. "Home, with a friend."
"Sweetheart?"
Before I can do as much as grown Annie yells cheerfully. "In here!"
He comes into view, looking surprisingly sober. The contraction dissipates as he slowly enters the room.
"I ran into Vick in town and he told me. How are you doing?" He asks, sitting in the loveseat on the other side of the room.
Peeta looks down at his watch. "So far so…"
"Peetaaaa!" I scream. Oh this ones bad. Peeta grabs my hand and I squeeze it. This one tears through my whole stomach. It lasts longer and stronger then the others, then like smoke, it disappears.
"I asked you, I asked you." I chant.
"I know, I'm sorry."
My mother stands up and grabs Peeta's wrist, looking down at his watch.
"That was only 17 minutes apart."
"What do we do?" Peeta asks.
"Where do you want to give birth?"
"Upstairs, in our bedroom." Peeta says.
"Okay, lets move you up there shall we?"
Peeta wraps his arm around me and we move up to our room.
"Can we bring up the loveseat?" I ask not wanting to sit on the bed.
Peeta goes downstairs and after a few minutes he and Haymitch appear with the loveseat. I sit down, my back strait on the back of the seat. Peeta sits down on the edge of the bed, letting me have the whole loveseat.
"Haymitch, can you go downstairs and help Annie?" My mother asks in her authoritarian doctor voice, and Haymitch leaves the room without a word.
"Okay kiddo, what do you want us to do?" She asks me.
I look from her, to Peeta.
"Um… nothing, I mean I don't-" I cry out as I'm struck with another contraction.
"I must really be hurting your hand." I say to Peeta after it stops.
He just smiles and says, "Na… not really." And kisses my cheek.
Haymitch and Annie appear, bringing with them towels, hot water.
"Is there anything I can do?" Peeta asks.
"No!" I yell, "don't go."
He leans over the arm of the seat and strokes my hair, "Okay."
"We can handle all the preparations. Just keep timing her!" My mother yells from the hallway. Peeta turns to me, his eyes are clear blue, and he has a look on his face that I can't distinguish, a mix of happiness, nervousness, fear, and excitement. Haymitch, Annie and my mother go back and forth, preparing for the birth while Peeta and I sit here, timing the contractions and mentally prepare. After 20 minutes of getting dizzy I make them all leave, I can't stand them, all coming in and out, in and out. Only Peeta and I are in the room now. The contractions are no more then 5 minutes apart and I can feel her coming. Peeta gets up to get my mother and I get to sit here, in an empty room, with nothing but my thoughts.
My mother and Peeta come into the room and she takes my face in her hands. "Katniss," she whispers, "Annie is going to help, is that okay?"
I nod me head as a powerful contraction rips through me. I'm not able to keep it in and I scream as my mother yells for Annie.
"Are you ready?" My mother asks.
I shake my head furiously. She kisses my cheek and Annie enters the room.
"Is it time?" she asks.
"Yes." My mother says, and she and Annie starts spreading towels on the floor.
"Can you tell Haymitch to leave?" I ask Peeta, remembering his presents.
"Okay." he says, he leaves and comes back in a mater of seconds.
I slip into a cotton dress and its only 4 minutes till I'm hit with another one. I lean over and press my head against Peeta's shoulder.
"I can't do this." I moan as the contraction stops.
"Yes you can Katniss." He whispers into my ear.
The sound of her crying takes all my pain away. How could a sound that's so sad be so happy? Peeta bends down and scoops our baby up into his arms.
"Told you." He whispers to me. Our faces mirror each others with a painting of peace.
My mother cuts the baby's cord and Peeta lifts her into the air. He takes a towel off the bed and wraps her in it.
"Hi beautiful." He coos.
The sight of her in Peeta's arms is like magic, and I can just barley feel my mother and Annie's hands on my arms as they help me to sit down. She has a head of short dark hair, her eyes are closed but I know their blue like Peeta's. One small hand and one small foot peek out from the blanket. They are beautiful and olive colored. I watch she curl her fingers as Peeta brings her to me. The second he places her in my arms her eyes open, taking in the world around her. She looks over at her father, her grandmother, our friend, and her mother, me. Her eyes are her fathers, and now, at this close distance, I can take in all of her. I softly run my finger across her features, her small button nose, her dainty cheek and jaw bones, her eyebrows and her soft, and even just born, her hair is thick. She's so sweet the way she follows my touch, where my fingers brush against she tests out. She wrinkles her nose, open and closes her mouth, she opens and closes her eyes and crinkles her eyebrow. Peeta kisses my cheek and I steal back my eyes to look at him. His smile is soft and warm and he looks at the two of us with all the love in the world.
"Thank you." I whisper.
He chuckles and kisses me. Our daughter's fingers poke through our lips and we all laugh.
"Oh she's beautiful." Annie coos. She knells down in front of us and touches my hand that is cupped around the babies head. Like she was afraid to touch her.
"May I?" My mother asks, holding out her arms. The tears that are caked on her cheek are met with fresh ones as I hand over my baby girl. I lean my head back on Peeta's chest and close my eyes.
"What are you going to name it?" I hear Haymitch ask.
I eyes open slowly to see him standing at the door.
I turn to Peeta, "We didn't…" I start to say.
"We're not sure yet." Peeta cuts.
He takes our baby from my mother and walking her over to Haymitch.
"Hey kid." He says as a greeting. He doesn't take her or touch her, he just looks at her.
"Well, it's a good thing you two didn't make an ugly baby."
"Thanks." I say sarcastically as Peeta brings her back over and slips her into my arms.
It takes us tree days in bed, cuddling with her, to come up with her name. I look out the open window and back at my beautiful baby girl's eyes.
"Sky… What do you think Peeta?" I call into the bathroom. "For her name, Sky?"
Peeta comes through the door, "Sky." He tastes the name on his tongue. "Sky Primrose Mellark."
I smile, at the sound of our daughter's name. "Sky Primrose Mellark." I say.
Peeta crawls across the bed and takes her into his arms. She smiles down at him and slaps her hands against his chest, laughing hysterically.
"Perfect." He laughs and kisses her nose.
He turns his head to me, "Perfect."
And that's the end of my version of the MockingJay Prolog! I hope you all loved it, and thank you so much for reading it!