In Which Quantum Man Saves the World (and Abed does alright too)

"Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper." - Albert Einstein

AN: So, I should be studying but while reading about Holbach for my French philosophy class I came upon the idea of determinism which is the belief that anything and everything can be predicted through the patterns of atoms and molecules that make up our universe. Layman's quantum physics. And I thought, that would totally be Abed's superpower. Then I started writing the AU and then I came up with a plot and well, this was born. It's just something I wanted to do for fun and I am a massive comic book fan, so what would be better than combining the two? So please review so I know that I am not a crazy person and that finals haven't destroyed my brain!

He won't get into the origin story; there are way too many of those floating around these days. Just know this: a few years back a science experiment went wrong, a spaceship landed on Earth from a far off planet, he found a magic ring/hammer/ sword deep in the woods, and also there was a radioactive spider. It doesn't really matter how it began, especially not for him, all that matters is the now and maybe the moment after that; anything more seems like a bit much. For him anyway.

Abed Nadir, mild mannered cameraman for GCN ("YOUR GO TO SOURCE FOR THE MOST UPDATE NEWS"), stepped to his left by three steps and counted to five.

This is what he knows.

Twenty years ago Karen Mosley was never asked to her high school prom because of the forty pounds of extra weight she carried (a genetic marker tracing back to her great-great grandfather who had displayed a biological inclination towards obesity), making her forever self conscious about her appearance and a little prickly when it came to men. Fourteen years ago Karen married Walter Sutter after a year of lukewarm courtship, which resulted in an ultimately unhappy marriage. Last night, Karen and Walter (still unfortunately married) got into a terrible fight because Karen believed that his late nights out were due to the affair she assumed he was having (when in fact Walter had been secretly taking night classes at the local community college so he could quit his job as a janitor at GCN and get that better paying spot at the local computer repair store on 3rd and Cromwell). Because of this fight, Walter came into work this morning feeling angry and distracted, causing him to forget to place the "CAUTION WHEN WET" sign on the floor he had just finished mopping. A fact that would soon cause Annie Edison, who was running a little late for a multitude of reasons that we just won't get into now, a bit of trouble.

Abed saw all this in a flash of understanding and he took his five steps and set the light mocha frappuccino he was holding down on one of the many desks in the busy newsroom.

"Oh crap!"

Annie's arms went flailing as her feet flew out from under her, causing the stack of papers she had been carrying to flutter up into the air as she fell. Abed smoothly struck his arms out and caught his co-worker by the waist before she could hit the hard linoleum.

"Gotcha," Abed said as he steady his friend carefully, taking note of her shaken expression and the way her fingers dug almost painfully into his forearm.

"Oh my god," she exclaimed, "thank you Abed!" She glanced around angrily, "They really should have a sign up or something."

"Walter's having a rough day," Abed replied simply, making a mental note to try and keep the bathrooms extra clean today. "But you're good right?" He asked curiously. Annie Edison was the assistant producer for GCN's six o'clock broadcast and the closest friend he had (not counting Troy). They had joined the show around the same time and quickly bonded over the difficulties that came with acclimating to the frantic world of television. Abed liked Annie more than he did most people; she was smart, inordinately kind, spirited, and funny. Pretty too, he thought, very pretty.

"Oh," Annie said, her anger deflating like a balloon. "I hope he's okay," she said sincerely.

"Yeah," Abed nodded. "Marriage problems, pretty sure he is gonna get a divorce in a year or two." He paused, his vision falling out of focus and gaining a far away kind of look that she sometimes caught him wearing when he thought no one was watching. And then, like a light switch, he refocused. "Yeah, September next year," he gave a shrug. "It's for the best really."

Annie gave an indulgent sort of laugh, fully aware and actually fond of Abed's strange little quirks that seemed to manifest themselves in every aspect of his personality. Gazing down at the flurry of papers on the floor, she jerked her head downward. "Help me with these?"

"Sure," he said, dropping down in tandem with his friend as they picked up the fallen papers. "What's the hurry then," he asked conversationally.

"Quantum Man!" Annie replied, her eyes suddenly becoming alight with excitement. "He stopped a major heist last night. Three guys with guns and dogs and everything. These guys were big time, real pros, and Quantum Man had them tied up waiting for the police before they were even inside the building!"

Abed watched with interest as Annie got worked up over the city's resident superhero. Everyone and their mother knew that Annie had a MAJOR crush on the masked vigilante known only as Quantum Man (self-titled, ala The Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman) and Abed couldn't help but be interested whenever Annie rambled off about his exploits. "Awesome," he said with an even voice, "but how did you find out about it? Isn't Quantum Man pretty low-key when it comes to the whole crime fighting bit?"

"Quantum Man's pretty low-key about everything," Annie answered. "But there were a few witnesses down the street from the scene and one of the guys who got caught is telling the story to anyone who'll hear." She giggled, grabbing the last of the papers from the ground and demurely rising. "The way he tells it, Quantum Man was like a ghost," she full out laughed now. "A ghost with fists that is."

Abed couldn't help but give a small smile, which he tried to hide as he handed Annie back his papers. "Cool. Cool, cool, cool."

"Anyway," she said flippantly, obviously trying to hide her moony expression. "I've been trying all morning to get Jeff an interview with the guy and at this point I'm just about beat."

Abed glanced at his watch. "It's not even nine yet."

She smiled depreciatingly. "Tell me about it," she said, half sighing and half just pushing air out her mouth. "I gotta find Britta to see if she can track down the witnesses from the scene. They might have some pictures from last night." Stacking the papers on the nearby desk she caught sight of the Starbucks cup. Annie glanced up mischievously at Abed, "If that's a light mocha frap I might just kiss you," she said playfully.

Abed smiled for real now. "Let's just say you owe me," he said handing her the coffee good-naturedly, watching as she took a relishing drink.

"Ahhh," Annie sighed, smacking her lips. "I don't know how you do it Abed but you always seem to know exactly what I need."

Abed tilted his head to the side in a puppyish gesture of modesty. "That's my super power," he said in a tone he hoped was joking.

Thankfully Annie just laughed, "I wish I had super speed right now," she paused, "Or maybe super organizational skills, or super "you better do what I want you to do right now" powers."

"You definitely have got the last two down," he told her, completely serious. "And super speed is what the coffee is for."

Annie couldn't help but affectionately nudge her best friend with her shoulder. "You are the best Abed," she told him sincerely as she headed off for Jeff's dressing room down the hall. "Oh and Abed," she called, all business once again. "Don't go running off. I might need you later if I'm able to get the interview, we want our best cameraman on the job!"

He waved her off with a gesture. "Okay, I'll be here."

Abed had never been fond of lying.

Here is what Abed saw.

Thousands of years ago, the first bad man (a Neolithic, Cro-Magnon type) killed his brother out of anger and frustration and a strange sort of sexual jealousy that his brain couldn't yet comprehend, committing the first bad deed. This in turn marked the starting point of humans doing terrible things to humans, a trend which has yet to go out of style.

Twenty-six years ago, our hero was born. Twenty-two years ago his mother disappeared and Abed found that for all the patterns he could see, for all the atoms he knew, and the quantum physics he could envision like an episode of television, that the reasons behind his mother's disappearance never seemed to fall into place like the rest of the world did for him. He and Troy had talked this out a few times; stuff like emotional investment and too close to see the full picture. But still Abed knew that mothers didn't just vanish into thin air for no reason, especially when they were leaving behind an empty SUV and a toddler in his car seat.

Four years ago, Quantum Man appeared. He sat on the steps on City Hall in a dark gray hoodie and bandana wrapped around his face, his muscles taunt with nervousness and fear. Knowing what is going to happen sometimes doesn't help with nerves. At all.

Three men, wearing innocuous business suits, walked up the stairs towards the building, looking just as nervous as Quantum Man. Quantum Man stood and followed the center man, the ringleader, quietly. (Thirty years ago this man, the ringleader, got beat by his father who had just been fired from his job as a police officer. The beating nearly killed him and they continued for a good ten years. Three days ago this man bought a gun, he was the only one of the three who did.) Gripping the night stick he had bought online, he quickly brought the weapon down with considerable might onto the backs on his knees.

Quantum Man, taking advantage of the element of surprise, shot out with his other hand and grabbed the gun that had been stuffed into the waistband of the man's shirt, quickly undoing the safety and pressing the muzzle into the ringleader's back.

He whispered into the man's ear to stop what he was doing and go home. The man laughed.

Two days ago, Quantum Man had broken into an apartment on the East End of town where he had found three identical homemade bombs hidden under the floorboards. He had carefully removed the pieces that he knew needed to be gone and replaced them with old pinball machine parts before carefully creeping out the door like a phantom.

The man laughed. Nodding to his partners, they reached in unison for the buttons of their jacket to reveal the bombs strapped to their chests. Terrorists.

In manner well rehearsed, the tugged on the switches that would have activated the bombs and sent them, and the hundreds of people loitering around, to kingdom come.

Nothing. Silence. Duds the lot of them.

In the stunned silence that followed, Quantum Man took his opening. Using the combat skills that he had been honing for the past few years, he incapacitated the three men in a matter of moments, drawing the attention of a few people around him (all of whom were too bewildered to act). With the men lying helpless on the ground, Quantum Man angled his arm at an 84° angle (where he knew the bullets would land harmlessly in an abandoned alleyway a few blocks down) and fired the gun into the air, fully gaining attention of the crowd surrounding him. He slipped a piece of paper into the front pocket of the ringleader's business jacket before turning southwest and running as fast as he could down towards Maple. He had one hundred and thirty-six seconds before authorities arrived on the scene. He could picture it; a young cop responding to reported gun shots and finding instead three terrorists writhing in pain on the steps of city hall with three dud bombs strapped to their chests and in the pocket of one of these men would be a note.

At 320 Wilson Lane, apartment d, you will find a place where people make bombs. These are the men who live there. They are angry and confused and will hurt people in the future if they aren't sent away. Also there is a gun on Maple Street, the dumpster behind Mr. Chow's. I'm leaving it there, it's theirs but you should come pick it up. I don't really like guns.

-Quantum Man

P.S. Sorry for all the commotion.

Over on Maple Street, Abed, breathing heavily, was grinning like a fool as he ripped off the bandana and threw it into the dumpster behind Mr. Chow's. Quantum Man would probably need a better costume.

Watching Annie walk away, Abed reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He quickly dialed the familiar number and waiting for the man on the other line.

"Hey dude," his best friend Troy Barnes answered.

"You ready," Abed asked without preamble.

"Course man," Troy answered, sounding exasperated, as if they have had this exact conversation a million times (which, incidentally, they had). "We've had this planned for like a month now."

"Which is why we don't want to mess this up," he stated into the phone matter-of-factly as he headed towards the elevators.

Troy mumbled in the background and Abed was only able to catch snatches of words. "damn schedule…" "…Mr. Know-It-All…" "…who fights crime on a schedule…"

"It might not always be exciting but it works Troy," he told his friend, hitting the button for the lobby. For a moment he felt a small wave a guilt, knowing that in an hour or so (right as he is about to get punched in the face by a drug dealer) Annie is going to call his cell and he isn't going to answer.

Shaking his head, Abed tried to shrug off the feeling and pay attention to his friend who was actually addressing him now. "No offense dude, but superheroing with Quantum Man can sometimes be pretty boring."

"I am entirely aware of that, Wonder Boy."

AN: So in case anyone can't tell Abed's superpower is the ability to see the patterns that quantum physics attempts to explain (i.e. the movement of the infinitesimal molecules that make up all matter, which translates to being able to see the course of events that lead up to any singular moment before that moment happens. Thus he is able to basically stop a bombing by knowing all the events that lead up to it and sabotaging it before hand. I'll go into his ability more in the next chapters. Please review!