Okay guys the last chapter I posted I changed at the last minute and re wrote pretty much everything from the hospital scene onwards and I don't know whether that was the right move or not now. Mrz Letty Ortiz-Toretto made a good point about how little Dom and Letty seemed to feel about the miscarriage so I took her advice and decided to do an alternative ending with the original piece I'd written. Then everyone can decide which one they connect to more and pair it with the upcoming part. So happy reading!
Letty's POV
Wednesday
Things had been alright after Dom and I had sorted out our problems after the whole Michelle incident. It had been a month since then and things were finally getting back on track. True to our word we had sorted it out the next day. There was yelling and screaming and I'm pretty sure I punched Dom again but we sorted things out and that was the main thing.
The last time we had seen Michelle was at the races last week six months pregnant wearing pretty much nothing like usual. That night had been good, she'd kept her distance which I had been grateful for and she'd left Dom alone as well.
'Today however was not a good day.' I thought to myself as I lay on mine and Dom's bed staring up at the ceiling waiting for my aspirin to settle in. I'd been cramping and spotting before finally getting my period a week ago then the bleeding stopped after a couple of days which I had been grateful for usually I had no trouble with them but they seemed to be bad this time around. Then this morning before work the pain had started again especially in my back so Dom had made me stay home and rest. I sighed and got up heading to the bathroom as I felt the pressure growing, I closed and locked the door and leant back against the door as a sharp pain ran through me as I clutched my stomach in pain.
"Ahh fuck." I swore as I slid down the door.
"What the fuck?" I said quietly as the pain turned into a dull throbbing, I felt like I'd wet myself and I knew I'd just gotten my period again. I lifted myself off the floor and carefully stripped off before jumping in the shower. Cleaning myself off I got out and I wrapped myself in my towel and cleaned up the mess. Luckily I was home alone as I went into the laundry and rinsed off my clothes and stuck them in the wash.
I quickly got changed and laid back down again still cramping but content with falling asleep for the rest of the day hoping it would be better in the morning.
Thursday
Walking into the work the next day I was still in pain and I felt a little nauseous but not enough to keep me home again.
"Letty you okay?" Mia asked as we sat in the office together going through the paper work.
"Yeah just my time of the month."
"You said that a week ago and you're still not due yet." I gave her a strange look.
"Yeah I know guess I was just early, but how do you know when I'm due?"
"Let we've lived together for years our times are pretty much in sync." I smiled at Mia.
"So what's up? You don't usually have a problem."
"I know it just came completely out of the blue again. I felt really crampy ever since I stopped but then yesterday I just got hit by this sudden pain and started bleeding really heavy again."
"That's kind of odd Let; maybe you should see a doctor." I shrugged.
"I'm sure it's nothing Mia." She finally agreed to leave it alone and we continued going through the paper work punching everything into the computer.
"Give us a hand to lift this?" I nodded and walked out to help Jesse and Dom put the engine in the car. Dom slowly lowered the engine down as Jesse and I guided it into place. Once it was done I stepped back and winced. Frowning instead of going back to help Mia I finished working on the car I'd been working on at the start of the week.
"Hey you okay?" Dom asked as he came up beside me. I looked up and nodded and smiled at him as he leant down to kiss me gently before we continued to work together in silence as the day passed. When we got home I went to the bathroom to change again and I noticed the bleeding was getting heavier. Shaking my head I sighed and got changed out of my dirty clothes and went to lie down as the pain started getting to me.
Sunday
I winced as I moved reaching across and into the car to fix it. My body felt like it was on fire from the inside out. I had never been in so much pain before my stomach cramps and back pain had worsened drastically since Thursday. Dom was getting edgy about it but I kept brushing him off telling him I was fine and it was just my period.
'Man this month's shit was a bitch.' I thought as I shakily put down the tool I had in my hand. I let out a low hiss as I moved the pain rippled through me. Looking around carefully around the garage to see if anyone had noticed me stop, but only Mia had. She walked into the office and then walked back out only moments later. She handed me a bottle of water as well as two pills looking around also as she did so. Again no one had noticed so I took the pills and handed back the bottle when I was done.
"Thanks Mia." I said quietly.
"Jesus Let you can hardly stand, you've never been like this. You can't say nothing's wrong anymore." I nodded and winced.
"I know I don't understand it. What do you think the chances of Dom letting me leave early are?" I asked. She looked over my shoulder and watched as Dom worked with Jesse on a car.
"Let if you tell him how bad you are instead of playing it off like you have been, he wouldn't just send you home he'd throw you out and not let you come back in until you're okay. Mind you even if you didn't tell him he'd notice."
"Mia don't talk so loud." I said as I held my head.
"Let you're really sick. You're so pale you look like you're going to faint."
"I'm fine." She looked at me worrying.
"Letty please you need to see a doctor, this isn't normal and it's been going on for weeks and its getting worse."
"I'll be fine I just need to rest for a couple of days." I explained quietly as she gave me a look of disbelief.
"What are you two talking about?" Vince asked. I didn't turn around knowing Mia was probably right I did look sick. She eyed me briefly and I begged her silently not to say anything but she shook her head.
"Dom Letty's sick and she won't say anything in order to go home." I tried my best to glare at Mia but the faint feeling in my head was getting too much so I surrendered to the inevitable and leant heavily against the car I had been working on.
I sighed and turned around so I faced everyone. Dom dropped the tool in his hand and hurried over as Vince looked at me worriedly.
"Fucking hell Letty why didn't you say something sooner? You look like death." He said as he stopped in front of me as one of his arms wrapped around my waist holding me up. His hand felt my forehead for a temperature but I could have told him to save him the trouble.
"Letty you're burning up, how long have you been like this?" he asked me but looked at Mia for the answer as he knew I wouldn't give him the real one.
"Two weeks now but she's been getting worse and won't see a doctor about it. She can barely move she's in so much pain." She explained.
"You told me you were fine. How much pain?" Dom asked shocked looking down at me.
"It's just my time of the month; I'll be fine in a few days."
"That's what you said a week ago. You've never been like this you need to see a doctor." Mia repeated.
"I agree with Mia, you need to see a doctor this ain't normal, not for you." He added quietly.
"I just need to lie down." They stared at me before Mia sighed and threw her hands up in the air. Dom shook his head but nodded towards the office.
"Go and lie down in the office at least then I can keep an eye on you. Mia have we got a heat pack or something here?" she shook her head.
"I'll go get the one from home." She said leaving as I slowly made my way to the lounge in the office with Dom following me.
"Baby please let me take you to the hospital." He begged but I shook my head.
"Dom I don't need to go, I'll be fine." I said as I shut my eyes and must have fallen asleep because I woke up to Mia standing over me.
I could hear Dom talking about me in the garage and she bent down in front of me and lowered her voice so the boys wouldn't over hear.
"Letty how heavy are you?"
"Pretty bad I guess there are just a lot of clots I figured that's why I've been in a lot of pain."
"Letty Dom and I are really starting to worry this isn't normal. Please let us take you to the hospital." I shook my head.
She sighed and gave me the heat pack before covering me over with a blanket. She gave me one last look before she walked out and I closed my eyes and let sleep take me. Sleep is exactly what I needed.
I woke up to a constant beeping noise and a stinging pain in my hand. I opened my eyes and groaned as I realised I was in hospital.
"Hey." I looked over at Dom who was sitting by the bed.
"Hey." My voice didn't sound like my own it was rough and course.
"How do you feel?"
"Stiff mostly, a little sore as well." He nodded.
"I guess that's to be expected." I stared groggily at him.
"Why am I here Dom?" I whined
"Because you took a bad turn Letty and you were very lucky, you should have been in here a week ago." His voice sounded stressed and it made me uneasy.
"Why what's wrong?" I asked as I took in his appearance. He looked crushed as I asked the question and I felt a sense of dread fall over me.
"It wasn't you're period Letty." I frowned, he said it so quietly that I only just heard him.
"Okay…"
Dom's POV
I looked at her sadly, I didn't want to be the one to tell her this but I had no choice I'd sent Mia home and she needed to know and there was no easy way to say it.
"Letty you miscarried." I said quietly. I gotten over the shock of hearing those words two days ago when the doctor had dropped the bombshell on me. When the shock wore off all the other emotions the sadness, the anger, the guilt but most of all the hurt came to the surface. I know it wasn't fair and I'd never speak of it to her but for the first hour after I'd found out I was angry Letty, why hadn't she told me? That was the only thing I kept asking myself but based on what Mia and the doctor had pointed out it looked as if she hadn't known either or she wouldn't have waited so long to seek help.
"What do you mean?" She asked shocked.
"Let you were pregnant… you didn't know?" I asked more or less to confirm what had been suspected. She shook her head and I stayed silent as I reached forward to grab her hand. Holding her hand in mine I spoke to her gently knowing the shock she was feeling would soon disappear and I had to be ready to face all her other emotions as well as my own.
"We brought you here two days ago you're temp spiked and you just kept falling unconscious, we couldn't seem to keep you awake. I knew something was seriously wrong the minute I got you here and they took you away faster than I thought possible. I should have taken you earlier whether you liked it or not. You probably don't remember anything of the last couple of days do you?" I asked looking at her as she shook her head slowly.
"You've been awake on and off but you haven't really been with it. The doctor said it was because your temperature was high with your body trying to fight off the infection."
"Infection?" I nodded and started to explain again.
"That early period you got was the beginning of the miscarriage but something went wrong and it didn't finish like it should have. It was called an incomplete miscarriage that's why you had the pain, your body couldn't get rid of it and you got sick from it." I said softly.
"Dom I swear I had no idea…"
"I know…. it's not your fault Let, none of it's your fault." I whispered as I placed my head down to rest against the bed.
"How could I have not known?" she asked. I sat up quickly and grabbed her face between my hands gently.
"Letty listen to me, please don't go down that path. I don't want you blaming yourself." I begged.
"I'm just shocked? So I was pregnant through the whole Michelle thing?" I stayed silent. I looked at the clock and wished Mia was here.
"Yes. The doctor said stress and the heavy lifting in the garage as well as drinking probably caused it. The stress especially." I said eventually feeling guilty.
"You said it hadn't completed? What does that mean?"
"Letty…" My voice was foreign even to my own ears it sounded strangled.
"I need to know Dom." I sighed and rubbed my head.
"They had to remove it. You'll still bleed for a little but not anything like you had been."
"How do you feel about it?" I looked up at her as she stared at me.
"I don't know we both just lost something we had no idea we had. I guess confused and a little angry at myself for putting you in that situation to begin with, upset.…Don't worry about me though I'm only worried about you. How do you feel?"
"I don't know." We sat in complete silence for I don't know how long both our minds in over drive.
"It's okay to be upset if that's how you feel?" I broke the silence.
"Yeah."
"We'll get through it baby I promise." She smiled slightly but it didn't reach her eyes.
"I know. So when can I get out of here?" I sighed.
"Not until the doctors are satisfied the infection is being treated."
"So in a couple of hours then?" I cracked a smile at her. She hated hospitals with a passion.
"Try a day or two maybe longer." She groaned and I leant up and kissed her cheek.
"Hey." We looked over at the door as Mia and the boys walked in unsure of how to approach.
"Hey." Letty said. I smiled as she sent me a small smile in return.
"How do you feel?" Mia asked.
"A little sore but not as much before."
"That's good."
"Spit it out Mia." She said as Mia fiddled with her hands.
"I…Um the boys and I have been talking and Jesse came up with an idea we thought might be nice."
"What?" I asked.
"I thought maybe you guys wanted to have a …"
"Ceremony thing or something?" Vince finished as Jesse struggled with the words. I looked at Letty.
"It's up to you baby." I said quietly.
"Let us think about it." They switched topics and stayed on safer ones just in case.
Letty was released three days later after seeing a councillor about the loss. The doctors and everyone seemed convinced that she was dealing okay but I knew better. She wasn't dealing but it was plain by the way she looked at me that she wanted to go home, so I didn't say anything.
"Hey Dom?" She asked as we drove home.
"Yeah?"
"About what Jesse suggested…" I looked over at her worriedly she hadn't brought it up before.
"Yeah?"
"I want to know what you think." She stated. I flicked my eyes from the road to her and thought about it. I was upset about what had happened even if we hadn't known until it was too late, it had still been our baby and we had lost it.
"Honestly I don't think it would do any harm. Not a ceremony nothing too formal but maybe plant a rose bush or something in the back yard?" She smiled and nodded.
"And then we…what?" I reached over and grabbed her hand holding it as I drove.
"We'll take it a small step at a time. Everything will get easier one day Letty." She nodded and changed the subject. When Letty had gone to bed that night I had told the team and they agreed, Vince had offered to pick one out the next day and I nodded before heading off to bed myself. Letty was asleep when I got in but it was clear she had been crying. Sighing I just put my arms around her pulling her closer and just laid there thinking of how to make things easier. I hadn't cried since I'd found out because I knew I had to be strong for her. Now she was asleep though I let my tears fall silently as I held her and it wasn't long before I cried myself to asleep.
The next day was probably harder to bear then I thought it would be but we made it through and then as a team we sat down and talked. Vince had told us not to worry about work for a month just to focus on ourselves, he and the boys would run the garage and Mia would run the shop. I thought Letty would put up a fight but she didn't so we agreed to have a month off. The first month was rocky, it was clear after the month was up that Letty still wasn't coping so one night when we had the house to ourselves we sat down and we talked.
"Letty I think you need help." I said as we laid in bed. She was silent as she looked up at me.
"I know." And that was all she said. She started counselling that same week and within a month you could tell she was finally starting to get better to the point where she started working a couple of days a week again. After three months she stopped counselling, it was what she wanted so I didn't have the heart to say anything. We tried not to talk about it and it felt like everyone was walking around on egg shells. Eventually Letty snapped and it came as a shock to me as well as the gang. Letty rarely spoke about it in front of the team just when we were alone and I never brought it up either so I hadn't realised how much them tip toeing around the subject annoyed her.
"You guys have to stop treating me like I'm going to break at the mention of it. I don't care if we talk about, I don't care if we don't talk about…I just can't handle any more of the worried looks or the hushed whispers." Everyone agreed to stop worrying about it and just went with the flow of things. Everyone tended to the rose bush I think it was there everyone kind of had their moment, I know I did and I often saw Letty sneak away to it when she thought no one was watching.
Little by little everything went back to normal Letty was doing better she seemed happier again now that the awkwardness of the situation had passed and I too was learning to deal with it, I was just glad to still have her. There was one issue her and I had yet to speak about though and I knew it couldn't wait any longer.
"Let?" I asked as I stepped into our room shutting the door behind me.
"Yeah?" She asked as she came out of the bathroom drying off her hair with the towel.
"Can we talk?" She looked at me guarded before nodding.
"Nothing bad I promise." I said as I stretched out on the bed as she came and joined me.
"What's wrong?"
"I was thinking about what the doctor said."
"Which part?" She asked softly. I kissed her head as she laid her head on my shoulder turning so she could see my face.
"About the sex part."
"What about it? Do you want something papa?" she asked grinning at me but I didn't smile back and her face dropped as she realised the seriousness in my words.
"Why do we have to talk about it? Why not do what we've always done and just let it come naturally. Then there's no awkward 'Am I ready?' or 'is this too soon?' questions to worry about." She said softly.
"Are you okay with that? Because I know either way I'm still going to wonder about those questions." I asked.
"Yes, I prefer it that way. I don't want to start something and then we have to stop and talk things through wondering if we're ready or not. We have to trust each other to stop if something doesn't feel right." I nodded and kissed her head again and that was the end of it.
If there was something we took away from the experience it was to use it as a lesson. We paid more attention to signs and warnings.
Everything had been running smoothly until we ran into Michelle Tran with her baby one day at the races and it was hard for us both to swallow the hatred and hurt we felt watching her with her kid. One look on Letty's face and she and I had left the races and gone for a drive together. Mia was in charge of taking Letty's car home. We ended up at the beach and we sat together on the hood of my car and watched the waves roll in.
"It's not fair Dom."
"No its not. After everything she did it's not fair. Life has it's reason's for everything Let."
Letty's POV
Seeing Tran with her baby had been harder than I expected, it didn't seem fair but as Dom had said everything happened for a reason. I had been dealing fairly well up until that point and seeing her around got me down at times but I'm glad she hadn't mentioned anything Dom was convinced she didn't know after all not many did just the team and Hector and a very small handful of trusted friends. I knew different though it was nothing she did outright or obvious and especially in front of Dom but it was the looks she gave me if I was caught staring at her and her baby or the knowing smirks she sent me when Dom wasn't looking but she never said it to my face. I often got angry more or less from the grief I think, at the races when I saw her and it took a lot for me to turn and just walk away. The first time it took Dom actually having to remove me from the situation so I wouldn't beat the shit out of her.
There was one thing I noticed though, it was Dom and I rarely fought any more we seemed to be on the exact same wave length now and it was a nice feeling. There were no more petty arguments about race whores getting too close or him getting angry when boys came too close for his comfort. We just had to look at one another and know what the other was feeling and that alone was enough to defuse any situation.
When the one year mark came and went it was a little easier Dom and I escaped for a weekend just the two of us. We didn't worry about the team, the work load at the garage or anything else, it was just the two of us being together emotionally and for the first time in a year physically. We didn't talk of the future as much as we used to, after all everything had changed and before then we had taken everything for granted by planning ahead instead of living in the moment so now we just took it a quarter mile at a time. After all we'd get to where we were meant to be in life eventually.
R&R
Princess of Darkness17
