Author's Note: Hello Everyone! Sorry for the wait. But I did promise this for Friday which I am abiding to. And yes the word count is correct. This the shortest chapter I've written since the early chapters if I recall. It feels strange posting such a short chapter but I feel this is enough when it comes to the changed writing style I am doing for this chapter. You'll be able to figure it out but I'll explain briefly why on the bottom note.

In response to a guest review by the name of Buttercup: Thank you! I appreciate it and I am sorry if I hurt your heart. But I am probably gonna hurt it again in this chapter...

Inner Thoughts

I own Alicia Dacia/Biotica, Amy, Desire, Tedrich Morius and all other OCs in this story. All other characters are owned by Marvel and their respected owners.

I now present Chapter 32!

Chapter 32: The Soldier's Wounds & Mistakes

"I guess we're both idiots then." Alicia said back. "You should be glad you were dumped this way, Rogers."

Steve took that as a signal to get out and get away from her. The rain was completely distorting his vision as he made his way out of the deck. Steve looked at himself when he made his way to the elevator that he was soaking wet and his vision was still messed up from the rain dripping from his hair. He turned around to see Alicia was sitting on the ledge of the deck letting the rain pour on her. Not once glancing behind her to see him stare at her.

He reached the elevator but he wasn't making sense of where he was. His eyes were clenched shut opening them frequently to see the elevator but he could not make out anything.

"What just happened?" Steve asked himself. "Just, what happened?"

His eardrums were pounding to his heartbeat that was going twice it's normal rate. His breathing increased sharply and his eyes were eyes darting at the elevator panel as he gripped the bars of the elevator.

"Sir Rogers?" JARVIS asked. "Sir Rogers, is everything alright?"

"Just bring me to my floor." Steve said, heavy breathed. "Please."

The A.I. remained silent but Steve felt the elevator going down as his weight shifted along with it. His vision was still distorted from the water and he was not thinking straight.

"Are you in need of any assistance?" JARVIS asked.

"No, in fact I don't want to see anyone." Steve ordered. "No exceptions, if they knock I'm not going to answer."

Steve made his way to his room and immediately undressed himself from his soaked attire. He grabbed a towel and dried himself from any rain that remained on him and proceeded to go grab a change of clothes. As he rubbed the towel through his hair he put on his pair of sweatpants but still saw his vision was still distorted and he was confused. He ran the towel over his face and his vision was not improved in the slightest. He looked at the mirror to see what was wrong and he noticed it was not rain that was messing with his vision.

In the mirror he saw an image of himself that he did not recognize. His hair was all over the place; his quaff that he takes time to get right was gone and blonde hair was sticking out and was all over and some were in front of his forehead. His eyes were red and puffy and misty and involuntarily he saw streams of tears coming from both eyes.

It was not first time the super soldier cried in his life. He remembers when his mother died at a young age and bringing him to an orphanage. But he stayed strong for his mother and father's memory to be strong despite all the changes he faced. He loved his mother, Sarah Rogers with all his heart; it would be normal when his mother died. He never cried from being beaten in the alleyways of Brooklyn despite the harshness of them.

The next one that comes more vividly was the death of his best friend, Bucky Barnes. The tears that were formed for his fallen friend was of extreme sadness and guilt as he felt responsible for his death. The man who had stuck by his side since his teens fell down the icy mountain reaching out for him. Those tears were the most painful he had ever let go, but he was alone to deal with the pain and had Peggy by his side.

The one most recent before this was for Alicia when she had her PTSD triggered. They were not uncontrollable however, nor was it filled with the rigorous pain of losing his mother and friend. They were small; a single stream on one side; it was out of sympathy. Seeing a woman he was growing attached to submit herself to the torture she endured was something he wasn't expecting. He had a quick moment to let go but he recovered quickly and took charge of the situation.

Steve stood there staring at a stranger in the mirror. He wiped away the tears but they were not stopping. He was getting more frustrated as he kept wiping the tears that were not in his control.

"Why am I crying?" Steve asked himself. "I shouldn't be. I'm better than this and I had better reasons to cry. Why am I crying now?"

Steve placed his hand over the mirror; leaning forward as his other hand tightly pinched the bridge of his nose. His body shook slightly and unnoticeable to most but Steve felt it, thinking it was like an earthquake going through him. He also started to notice the lump in his throat and breathed out heavily before the stream of tears became thicker.

"You were still a lost puppy when I met you and when I realized I was dying I knew I could take advantage of that." Alicia said in his head.

"Am I really that weak willed?" Steve asked himself. "Can I really be used that easily?"

Steve remembered the talk they had on the deck. How willing Alicia was to tell him about how her brother died, how her father beat her for years, Her friends and her relationships with them. How Steve felt like she trusted him more and in turn he trusted her more, how he has time and time again believed her word on a lot of things. His mind went to how he felt when he allowed her to touch him that way and how he felt when he was able to feel Alicia in that specific way. How free and happy he was to do it and with no regrets. His breathing got heavier and his body was shaking slightly more.

"I'm a fool… How could I have let myself do that?" Steve thought, scorning himself. "I wasn't thinking."

Before he could delve more into his feelings there was a pounding on the door. It was frantic on one side while calm but loud on the other.

"JARVIS, I thought I told you-"

"I did but Master Stark and Sir Dacia insisted on seeing you." JARVIS apologized. "Agents Coulson, Romanoff and Barton followed as well."

"I don't want to see anyone." Steve pressed as he put on a shirt.

"Unfortunately Master Stark is overriding your commands."

He felt the tears halt as he regained his composure. But he knew he was visibly a wreck and knows he will be questioned on what happened. He walked over and opened the door and they looked as if they stopped what they were going to say. Chris was no longer in tears but he looked more puffy-eyed than he did which he expected but he looked confused as he started at Steve. Tony was also confused when Steve stared at him next. He had glared at Tony before but this time he saw Tony looked nervous-if only for a second-from it. Phil, Natasha and Clint stared in shock but they could at a single glance that what happened at the deck was bad and the three shared quick glances to one another.

"Cap?" Tony asked. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I'd like to be alone. I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood."

"Did you talk to my sister?" Chris asked. "Did you find out what's wrong?"

Steve clenched his fists as he was being hit with more realizations. He didn't want to talk to him about her. He didn't want to talk to anyone and talking to her brother was not good for him right now.

"If you want to figure out what happened then go talk to her yourself." Steve answered. "I can't talk to you about this."

"Why are you defensive all of a sudden?" Chris asked noticing his out of character behavior. "We've all angry about this but you gotta tell us what happened."

"After what happened up there I have a right to act like this and I have a right not to talk to anyone, okay? That includes you." Steve said not thinking. "Please, go."

He closed the door and took a few steps away and heard the door open again. He turned around and saw Chris throw a punch to the side of his jaw. Without thinking Steve countered and punched him in the stomach. Chris took the hit hard but did not fall to the floor. He pushed Steve to the wall and had a hand to his throat.

"Let's get something straight here, Rogers. You do not have any right on holding back information on my baby sister from me. I lost her eight years ago and now I have her back and now she tried to kill herself. You have no justification to being more upset than me; you're not the one who has a ghost come back into your life, turn your world upside down and is about to ripped apart from you." Chris said through his teeth. "She and I are blood; we're family. You're just some lucky guy that Alicia chose to date and has liked for years. You're shit compared to me, Rogers. The only reason why I'm not senselessly beating you is because she would kick the shit out of me. Now start fucking talking."

"Lieutenant, let go of me." Steve said calmly as he felt the urge to fight back.

"Don't be throwing titles into this, Captain."

"Both of you calm down." Tony said breaking them apart.

Tony turns to see the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents left and were nowhere to be seen.

"If you must know, she lied. About this situation." Steve said.

"The hell does that mean?" Chris asked.

"She knew the entire time that the poison was killing her." Steve said. "She was just… biding her time."

"Seriously?" Tony asked sincerely shocked.

"Why would you not tell me that?" Chris asked shocked. "What else?"

Steve begun to cringe and was trying desperately not to break in front of them both but he was losing the mental focus to do so.

"She's not the person I thought she was…" Steve said in a low tone.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked. "What did she tell you-"

"She used me."

Both were shocked and confused. Steve could see Tony thought this was a joke but became more solemn once he took Steve seriously. Chris looked more confused about Steve accusing her of using him.

"Can you be more specific? Chris asked. "She would never-not to you, of all people."

"That conversation was between Alicia and I was about our relationship and how it was based off of lies. She explained that I was taken complete advantage of and that she never once cared for me." Steve said. "And she told me Bruce and her had feelings for one another as she was seeing me."

"She told you?" Tony asked

"Wait, you knew?!" Steve asked in shock.

"We all did. Thor and I stumbled on them both but I knew he had feelings for her. Pepper had some idea. I think Coulson was the only one who doesn't know. Do you know, Lt.?"

"Unfortunately I also stumbled on them before she and I went to your room a few days ago." Chris admitted. "She told me not to tell you… even though I strongly disapproved."

Steve became more and more upset to the point that he saw Chris's face was etched in regret of telling him anything.

"They all knew." Steve thought in shock. "I was completely oblivious to it? Was I so blinded that I didn't see it?"

Steve turned around and headed for his desk drawer. He opened it and begun wrapping his hands with bandages. He could tell Tony and Chris watched in silence; afraid of what Steve was going to do. As he finished wrapping his hands and putting on his shoes he noticed the picture frame of him on his twenty-sixth birthday. He noticed how happy he looked with his team on his first birthday in the new century. He saw him Alicia sitting in the middle of the sofa hand in hand and very happy.

"Was this a lie too?" Steve thought as he gripped the frame. "How do I know if this wasn't a lie?"

Steve threw the frame on the ground and marched out of his room. The other men watched the glass crack and break and rushed to the soldier's side.

"Cap, calm down." Tony said in the elevator.

"Stark, now isn't the time." Steve said seriously. "Let me go to the gym. I need to be alone."

"Look, whatever she said I bet she didn't mean it." Chris said quietly.

"No." Steve spat. "She meant every word."

Steve, Chris and Tony reached the floor and saw Natasha, Clint, Pepper and Phil standing in the middle of the hallway in silence. Steve made his way to the front and felt his jaw drop and sheer devastation fall down on him.

He saw Bruce, holding Alicia in his arms against the wall. He was kissing her injection wound and he watched her in silence enjoying every moment. His fists were shaking as he saw Alicia's cheeks were becoming redder as the moments passing by. His breathing was intensifying as he watched her hold back the apparent sounds of pleasure and could only be shown threw her face At moments she brought him closer with her hand on his hair and let out soft whimpers of him hitting the right spot. He knew the sounds all too well, her face when she was happy from physical pleasure. He thought back to when he saw Alicia's face blush that way, how those soft sounds were released when he touched her the right way. His vision was becoming tunneled the longer they continued as she was not stopping Bruce in the slightest with a smile on her face.

Somewhere in that moment he felt different. He was unable to hide the emotions in front of everyone. His tunnel vision intensified as he felt all the anger and pain was being freely shown to Bruce. He was waiting for the moment Bruce saw him. He wasn't able to hear anything Bruce was saying out of built up rage and finally saw Bruce turn to his direction.

Steve saw Bruce stare in fear for his life. He was frozen, seeing the mixture of faces of being caught with Alicia, who was oblivious to the entire thing. He left quickly and entered the gym with the tunnel vision still in full effect as his heart beat surge out of him and through his ears. He grabbed the nearest punching bag and saw that Chris followed him right behind him.

"Steve, calm down." Chris warned as Steve hooked the punching bag. "It may not have been what it looked like."

"You and me saw something completely different then."" Steve huffed as he punched the punching bag. "I saw everything I needed to see."

"Steve!" Bruce yelled as he ran into the lab. "Steve, hold on. That wasn't what it looked like."

Steve did not answer to him. His punches were harder and more thoughtless in response. He still only saw the tan beige punching bag in front of him. He did not want to see the man that she saw at the same time as himself. His teammate, a man he considered a friend. He confided with Bruce about his confused feelings for Alicia and he thought he could trust him.

"Steve, please. Listen to me." Bruce said touching Steve's shoulder. "Let me explain-"

"Did it feel good, Dr. Banner?" Steve asked as he turned around smacking his hand away. "She was enjoying herself from what I saw. Unless you want to give me anymore reasons on how much of an idiot I am, I'm sorry but that gave me enough convincing."

"Steve, I wasn't doing that on purpose. I was helping her." Bruce explained. "She was having a panic attack and I had to calm her down. I thought kissing her wound would calm her nerves."

"Why didn't you kiss her on her lips?" Steve asked. "Before, nothing was stopping you."

"She would not let me."

"I'm not sure if I can believe you."

"I never meant to cause this, Steve. I'm trying to get over her. I know that she and I wouldn't have worked out." Bruce apologized. "I have no idea what happened up on the deck for you two to break up but I know I am part of the reason. I'm sorry."

"I told you how I felt for her and you pursued her without me knowing." Steve said. "I trusted you and you went behind my back. Do you have no respect for me as a person?"

"Of course. You're a man anyone aspires to be."

"Do you love her?"

"What?"

"I asked if you love her."

"Steve, I don't think-"

"If you're the respectable man I somehow think you are still, then tell me the truth." Steve said walking up to him "Now answer the question, Dr. Banner."

"I didn't love her the way you think I would have but I was also falling in love with her." Bruce admitted. "But then I realized the problems we were both causing and she told me we had to stop. I agreed eventually. Please, I don't want this to ruin the dynamic of our team, our friendship."

"If we had a friendship, you wouldn't have done that." Steve said holding back everything he felt. "For now on until I speak to you, you are in no way, shape or form going to speak to me. I respect you as a teammate and in the battlefield I respect you and the Big Guy immensely. But do not consider us friends until I say we are."

He saw Bruce look unsure of what to do. He saw him take a deep breath and nod in agreement and walk away with Chris a few seconds later.

"This is what I get for trusting someone too quickly. I gave her so much and I was used. I was two-timed, lied to, deceived." Steve thought as each punch inflicted a memory of Alicia. "She never cared for me while I did nothing but care. I'm an idiot…"

"Steven." Amy whispered.

Steve gave a hard punch and the punching bag latch broke and he sent the bag flying with a hole in the middle. Sand flew in his face as his eyes began to release the built-up pain inside with tears. He could feel Amy and Desire's presence from behind but would not turn and acknowledge either one.

"I don't want to hear what either of you have to say."

"That was Desire's doing." Amy protested. "Not mine. You must understand-"

"I understand. She told me everything." Steve said wiping his tears away. "I was nothing to her."

"You can't actually believe that-"

"I was falling in love with her." Steve admitted shamefully. "Because of that I cared too much, I became so vulnerable and the idea of her leaving was something I did not want. I've never done anything like to a woman in my entire life and I did it because I thought the feelings were mutual. I thought she was vulnerable to me, opening up to me because I was; slowly but I was opening myself up to her. But I was just a toy to her and I feel so disgusted and angry with myself. For blindly doing all of that without thinking."

"Steven-"

"I don't know why you two are here but I suggest you leave." Steve said facing the punching bag. "I lost my trust in Alicia so why should I trust a word you two copies have to say after all of this?"

"Copies?" They both repeated.

"What. Are. You. Here. For?" Steve asked slowly.

"Tedrich is still out there." Desire said sternly.

"And the Avengers will handle him." Steve said. "We will get Mr. Dacia's wife back."

"Please, don't give up on her…" Amy said begging slightly.

Steve felt his rage spike and stopped mid stride. He started to turn around to meet their gaze but continued to walk to the punching bag and not giving them the courtesy of visual acknowledgment.

"I want…" Steve coughed. "I want to take it all back. Everything. I don't want to feel this. I don't want anything to do with her."

"Steven, stop." Desire started to say. "You're overreacting."

Steve dropped to his knees and squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the sting of Alicia's slap across his face again. Hoping the tears would stop but continued still. He stayed silent as he still felt their stares on him, wiping his face ferociously. He heard one of them leave the room but still felt one of them stare at him in silence but floated close behind him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing for Desire's actions or Alicia's but I'm sorry for keeping the truth from you. Being outside the Teserin for that time made me realize that I should care also for the people who care for her and if I could have stopped this, I would have. If I could take the pain away for their mistakes, I would." Amy said. "Steven, I'm sorr-"

Steve did not let her finish as he turned around and threw a hard punch at Amy. His breathing was sharp and quiet, tears continued to fall from his face and Steve held his throw in place. He stared at Amy; giving him no expression except for shock in her eyes as his arm was through her face. She did not react, just watching him. He saw she was confused, unsure, but he saw her transparent figure not moving away.

"You look just like her. You sound just like her." Steve said retracting his arm. "I am not going to believe a damn word you say. How do I know that you're not just like her? Or helping her? Just, leave."

He waited for her to say anything but saw she was still staring at him. Before he could utter another word Amy transformed into her yellow orb and left Steve alone in the gym. He turned back to the bag, head pounding and punched another hole into the bag.

He hung his head over his lap as he gripped his pants with each hand. His breathing was getting louder and hitched. Steve was fighting it. Holding it back, wiping the tears, shutting his mouth but he felt himself shake.

The more he fought himself the more he felt himself shake.

He was unable to stop and decided to take deep breaths. He tried taking a deep breath through his nose but felt it was very congested. As soon as he released it through his mouth he was no longer able to hold the sounds back. He was breathing quickly and they were hitched. The tears were still constant, never increasing or decreasing in their flow and he was forcing himself to calm down.

It wasn't working. He sat next to the punching bag against the wall and his heart was pounding. His vision was blurry and his body, trembling. He closed his eyes and took as many deep breaths as he could manage.

"Knowing you, Alicia gave you a hand job and you finger fucked her." Tony said in Steve's head.

Steve's lips pursed and wiped his right hand on his leg in a repeated fashion. He could feel sand grains underneath his fingernails but the dirt was not coming off of his palm and fingers.

"If you also thought you were the 2nd man to touch me like that then I have no clue what to tell you, Cherry Lips."

Steve's hand punched the floor to his side but soon felt after that he wasn't shaking. He opened his eyes to see nothing was blurry but his eyes were still watering. He was still crying but he decided not to stop them. He let them fall and felt the streams on his face hit his chin and trickle down. He had stable breath despite the lump in his throat but he wasn't fighting it anymore.

His mind slowed down enough to where he could see the wall in front of him and not feel the headache pound against his head. He rested his head on the wall and felt his muscles relax in his body. He did not leave the gym however; he felt he could not move, becoming more comfortable with the gym floor with sand and a broken punching bag.

Instead he sat there, breathing slow and deep as he continued to cry. Keeping the soft and serious expression that he is accustomed to; hoping to regain the control he used to have over himself. Hoping soon the tears and feelings that were attacking him would end.

Yeah, so this happened. Main couple broken apart, a superhero has an emotional breakdown, the team is at odds with one another and there is still a murdering German on the loose and probably happy about all of this.

I promised myself that I wanted this chapter to be just in Steve's perspective. Or at least not have Alicia's thrown in the mix. I wanted to have you all to just feel his pain in this section and only his pain. That's why it's so short but I am not changing it. It was a nice change just focusing on one person's mind than 20 :P.

My readers that are Steve fans: Don't hate me too much. I need you all still :P. Despite the fact I kinda broke him I don't want you to hate me too much. You can if you want or my OC or both. I actually had "fun" writing this because breaking strong characters is hard yet challenging. Building and breaking bonds I wrote was something else but it had to be done.

I ask you all to please review. Whether it be rage, or sadness or both. If you're happy about this or you hate this turn for the story. I appreciate any and all reviews of praise, criticism or just telling me to continue to update. It means you're reading and taking time out of your day to give me input that I really appreciate. The next chapter's update will be in April. If I'm not too busy but I want it for the middle of April, after Captain America: The Winter Soldier comes out in the States.

Until then~