Hello everyone!

Just a few notes before you begin: I have a rather awkward style of writing and tend to skip parts of the plot that I don't think important. However, I probably have at least a paragraph of background information for anything that is not said, so don't hesitate to ask for details. IGYUMS started off as a lighthearted romp into Avengers fanfiction, but now that I'm almost 25,000 words in my writing has lapsed back into the crusty academic vernacular that I can't seem to get away from. Please bear with my stuffiness. Updates will hopefully come weekly and once posted will not be edited much, though no promises on that.

DISCLAIMER: Except for those created by God of Lies, all characters, plots, etc. belong to MARVEL and their respective copyright holders. This disclaimer applies to the fanfiction I've Got You Under My skin in its entirety, including all chapters and descriptions.

~#~

I've Got You Under My Skin: Frank Sinatra

I've got you under my skin

I have got you deep in the heart of me

So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me

I've got you under my skin

I've tried so not to give in

And I said to my self, this affair, it never will go so well

But why should I try to resist

When baby I know so well

That I've got you under my skin

I'd sacrifice anything, come what might

For the sake of having you near

In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night

And repeats, repeats in my ear

Don't you know, you fool, you never can win

Use your mentality

Wake up to reality

And each time I do, just the thought of you

Makes me stop before I begin

Cause I got you under my skin

Run for cover!

Run and hide!

I would sacrifice anything, come what might

For the sake of having you near

In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night

And repeats, how it yells in my ear

Don't you know, you fool, there ain't no chance to win

Why not choose your mentality

Wake up, step up to reality

And each time I do, just the thought of you

Makes me stop just before I begin

Because I got you under my shin

Yeah, you grabbed me

Under my skin

This song was a very literal inspiration for this story. A good version can be found here: (youtube)/watch?v=_XCVnV5CGh0

~#~

Tony Stark was bored. Due to Pepper's efficiency he was at least two hours early for the Avenger's jaunt to Asgard. Even Bruce wouldn't play with him. He was holed up in his lab, re-checking all the equipment he managed to squeeze in the tiny suitcase Fury had limited him to for the trip. It had gotten to the point where Tony had pulled out a pen and was tapping out Black Sabbath on the arc reactor. Just when he had figured stalking Coulson (who had never died in the first place but was just 'fake dead' to rally the team) was the best option he had, the door swooshed open and a mousy underling shuffled a food cart in. She gave him a half nervous, half apologetic little smile and dragged her burden over to the small side table at the head of the room. As she started carefully setting up a thermos and some light snacks, an idea came to Tony - an absurdly brilliant idea. He pulled out a pack of cards from his pocket, slowly took them out of the box, and then...

Alice jumped as Tony Stark slapped what sounded like a deck of cards onto the conference table. She paused and then carefully picked up the last plate - a veggie tray.

"Play a game of poker with me?"

Her whole body gave an involuntary twitch at actually being addressed by a superior and the food went flying over her shoulder. Most of the tiny thuds that sounded were definitely not food against conference table or floor. Turning around, she watched as Mr. Stark pulled a carrot off his pants and popped it into his mouth.

"Now have to play me. If you don't, this is going on YouTube."

Sure enough, while one hand was still on the cards on the table, the other was happily waiving around the cool gizmo. The man was attuned to trouble, she'd give him that. Too embarrassed to actually think about replying to the words coming out of his mouth, she dove for the stray pieces of celery scattered around his chair.

"I am so sorry Mr. Stark!" Although it was technically HIS fault for scaring her. "Let me get this cleaned up..."

"Call me Tony, please. Now, about..."

"EH?" Alice just stared up at him.

Stark unflappably took in her shocked look and used it to his advantage, "Tony. You, me, and poker. Game now."

He snapped at the chair across from him and shooed her away from her vegetable scavenger hunt. She was halfway around the table before she realized hurricane Stark had her firmly within it's path of destruction.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to pick this mess up." She headed back towards the vegetables and Tony frowned. "My boss would kill me if I left this. Heck, Fury himself would kill me if he had to step on mushrooms and celery for the whole pre-Asgard briefing."

'Ooooo! Some spunk. I'm going to have to play dirty with this one.' Tony smiled viciously and tapped his fingers together.

"I'm your boss' boss. Therefore you're going to play poker with me." She opened her mouth but he steamrolled on, "No, you will not get in trouble. Yes, I will tell your direct superior not to kill you for the veggie mess. I'm bored. I want fun. Now sit your ass down and entertain me."

To seal his victory, he added a pout. Alice sighed but got up and plopped herself in the chair Tony was emphatically flapping his hand at. It was times like this she wished she could instantly act like she did with people she knew well. Around strangers or figures of authority, she turned into a very timid, very twitchy bunny. If Mr. Stark was one of her friends, she would have totally and loudly steamrollered his desire to play with her own. Oh well. She'd take what she could get. She was soooo going to get into trouble - 'Iron Man made me play cards' was beyond even a crappy excuse and she was very suspicious that he didn't have the rank necessary to make her boss back down - but it was worth it. She fantasized about getting to know the famous man. Not because he was so hot - oh, he was pretty - but because she thought he would make an awesome brother. Yeah, he wasn't dependable, but Alice had the tendency to drag people off when she wanted them, so no prob. And he was funny. For once, she wanted to break out of her 'box.' So what if she scared him away or mentally scarred him?

'That sinks it!' She looked at his pleased-as-punch expression and grinned back. 'This is on like Donkey Kong!'

Tony was a little taken aback at the devilish glint that suddenly flared in the girl's eyes, but he went with it. She finally looked like she was ready for a challenge which meant that the possibility of boredom had just been rocketed out of the helicarrier faster than his suit could fly. He scooped up the deck and prepared to deal.

She looked at the cards and her smile faltered.

"I don't know how to play poker."

"WHAT?" He gaped.

"Er..." She held up an appeasing hand, rummaged in her uniform pocket, and then a different pack of cards was pulled out and tossed onto the table, "how about we play Uno, instead?"

Tony creaked his head towards the bright box and muttered, "You don't know how to play poker? Who doesn't know how to play poker? We're on a goddamn military airship. There are limited things for you to...I mean, what do...mahjong?"

Suddenly, his deck was slammed back into the box and into his pocket. "Fine. I'll play Uno. But only if you learn to play poker when I win."

Alice could practically feel his need to have her learn the game. Oh, she could turn this to her advantage. She gave an innocent smile, "If you win, you mean. And if I win..." she quickly thought of the most randomly impossible thing that she could ask for, "You convince Fury to let me go with you to Asgard."

"Done."

Mr. Stark would dearly regret his hasty decision in both the near and far future.

After ten rounds of furious battle, the winner was clear: Alice was going to Asgard.

~#~

Alice was in a random field, a little ways apart from the S.H.I.E.L.D. chopper and the flamboyantly suited Iron Man, Captain America and Thor (and professor-chic Bruce), staring at the grass beneath her boring black pumps in shock.

Tony had taken his loss in stride, declaring that she would learn poker, come hell or high water, and then efficiently zeroed in on Fury's location and blackmailed him with something on his phone. If it was enough to make Nick Fury pale, she didn't want to know. The rest of the team handled the news and subsequent introduction of a last minute addition surprisingly well, too. After a clearly visible internal debate, Captain America even gave her a winning smile and a thumbs up. A half an hour later she was shoved into a helicopter along with the non-flying Avengers and the rest of the support staff, still in her office uniform which was plainly emblazoned with the, 'I am an inept civilian government worker' badge of red ickyness. She got looks from the heavily armored soldiers. She agreed with those looks.

"Miss Ward." Mr. Fury sounded just a mite grouchy, "We're ready."

She scurried over to the small group that was going and they were all herded towards the center of the clearing by the rest of the S.H.I.E.L.D. people. Nick Fury was staying behind, had in fact taken his place behind a staggering collection of portable monitors and was absentmindedly hand-signaling directions to his lackeys.

Thor took up the center of their huddle and shouted to the sky in his own direct way, "Heimdall, gatekeeper, open the bifrost! These mortals have an audience with the Allfather!"

Almost immediately, Alice could see a blue light descend and suddenly, she was hurdling through space. Some of their contingent took this type of travel better than others. She just pretended she was a rocket and managed to avoid flailing like Tony. Too soon for her taste, she popped out on the other end, incredibly staying on her feet as she skidded across the polished floor.

Thor took the lead and they all followed him across the newly re-constructed rainbow bridge. Through the nerves and shock, Alice recognized that she wanted to literally hug the bifrost. It was pretty. In fact, the whole city was shiny. Slightly tacky, but SHINY. Thank god that though Stark had wheedled her into the mission she was banned from their meeting with Odin - she could revel in the sparkle. As they neared the outer palace, it finally occurred to her that she was in Asgard. After that, Alice truly looked at the intricate buildings and towers around her. This was going to have to be another one of her out of the 'box' moments in order to make the most of her visit.

Thor stopped them as they reached Odin's audience chamber and turned to her, "This is where we part, Alice Ward." He directed her a little ways down the hall to a secluded bench with a gorgeous view of the city outside. "Please stay here until we are done. It should not be long." Again - straight to the point and said with the gusto only Thor was capable of, which also meant there was absolutely no room for argument.

As soon as he was gone, Alice slumped onto the bench. So, this was not going to be one of her out of the 'box' moments. Thor, and by extension Fury, had effectively 'boxed' her into the most minimal role they could. Oh, well, at least she got the window. Heck, this was waaay better than how her day would have usually gone.

But, damn it, she wanted to explore!

She looked around discreetly. She was in Asgard. Alone. With no Nick Fury or boss person. She was fairly sure she was under Thor's protection for this trip. She was going exploring. She was going to get fired, but she was going exploring.

She took off like the rabbit she had compared herself to earlier. Trying her best to channel 'ninja,' she ghosted her way through the shining halls of the palace, enjoying getting to spy on Asgardians as they went about their business. However, as she drifted around, she became aware that something was tugging her to a specific place. She did NOT like this tug. In fact, she tried her best to meander away from wherever this nonspecific something was pointing her towards. She was not stupid enough to think it could be anything good. So, fifteen minutes later saw her struggling to get her reneging body back to the throne room so she could call for Thor. As she watched her hand twitch towards a stairwell that led to the depths of the building, she belatedly thought that even Stark would be welcome help at this point.

'Where is a friggin guard when you need one?' Alice wondered as she ran herself into a wall, narrowly missing starting down the stairs. 'Come on!'

She managed to fight for another minute or two before her body finally had enough and she blacked out. When she came to she realized she was kneeling in a domed chamber full of expensive looking weapons on pedestals. Her right hand was tightly clenched around the handle of a hammer. It had a smaller head than Mjolnir although the same celtic-looking engraving was etched into the pale gold metal. The handle was also longer and slimmer, wrapped in black leather. It felt really nice in her hand. Which, she realized, was stuck to the weapon like it was superglued there.

"Oh, no." The whimper broke the dam holding back the panic. She scrambled up and started crazily tugging on her appendage like a balking donkey. No matter how hard Alice tried, she couldn't get her hand unstuck. Heaving wildly, she realized she was in major trouble. It wasn't clear how major until an apple rolled into the room and bounced into her other hand, securing itself tightly to her palm.