Chapter 37: The Relationship Meddling

Penny walks down the stairs towards the mailboxes on the first floor. In her hand is the letter Leonard wrote to his mother which he asked her to mail. Penny holds it up to the light, but she still can't read the letter. Howard and Bernadette walk into the lobby ready to head upstairs to see Leonard. Penny doesn't notice them walk up behind her until Bernadette taps her on the shoulder. She jumps forward totally surprised to see them.

Bernadette: "Hey Penny. What's that?"

Penny swirls around and quickly hides the letter behind her back then she awkwardly smiles at them.

Penny: "Nothing! It's nothing."

Howard frowns because it very obvious she is hiding something.

Howard: "What is it? Did you get another letter from the IRS, Penny? Jeez you can't just keep sending pictures of yourself in a bra so they'll give you another extension. Eventually, they're going to want some money woman or at least a shot of you without the bra. I'll take that one for you."

Bernadette frowns at Howard and pokes him in the ribs hard for saying such a perverted thing. Penny rolls her eyes at him then finally reveals what is behind her back.

Penny: "This isn't from the IRS. It's a private letter from Leonard to his mom."

Bernadette: "Really? Well what does it say?"

Penny scoffs at her and acts as though she can't believe Bernadette would even ask her such a question.

Penny: "How would I know? I have no idea what's in there! It's none of my business what is in this letter; I'm here to mail it. I don't just go around opening up other people's mail. Leonard deserves a little privacy right?

Bernadette: "Of course you're right Penny, we shouldn't pry. It's between Leonard and his mother."

Bernadette and Howard quickly look at each other then they both stare at Penny still waiting for her to open it anyway. Penny keeps staring down at the letter feeling desperate to open it. Within seconds she cracks and rips it open.

Penny: "Oh who am I kidding? Leonard should know me better by now. Of course I'm going to open it!"

Bernadette and Howard both nod in agreement then hover on either side of Penny as she holds the letter out. They all start reading it together, but Bernadette and Howard finish it pretty quickly. So they impatiently wait for Penny to finish reading. Once she is done Penny folds it back up and sighs.

Penny: "Wow that was harsh. I knew he was mad at her, but I've never read anything so cruel before"

Bernadette: "I had no idea Leonard felt so poorly of his mother. He says such terrible things to her in there. I would never say that to my mom."

Howard: "Well yeah, but I can't say I blame the guy. Leonard use to wake up at night screaming her name and not in a good way. She is the reason he wet the bed well into his teens. That woman is a witch with a capital B!"

Bernadette: "HOWARD! Don't say that about Mrs. Hofstadter. It isn't nice to talk about someone else's mother."

Howard: "But, Beverly isn't like most mothers, Bernadette! Moms are supposed to be loving and caring people. They're suppose to take care of you when you're sick, give you baths, do your laundry, cut the crust off your bread, buy you presents and feed you ice cream cake for your birthday. They are supposed to smother you with affection until you literally want to murder them. Once my mom stayed up all night just to re-stitch booties back on to all of my flannel pajamas after I'd cut them off for the summer.

Penny: "Awww… that is sweet you still remember, what would you like five?"

He wrinkles his brow a little embarrassed to admit his age at the time.

Howard: "Uh…actually that was last year."

Penny's smile disappears and she rolls her eyes. Howard keeps talking and ignores her disapproval.

Howard: "Hey don't judge me; it gets very cold in space!"

Both girls shake their heads and frown at him.

Bernadette: "What's your point Howard?"

Howard: "My point is….Beverly never did any nice normal things for Leonard like our mothers did for us growing up. She neglected him constantly and whenever she did give him the time of day it was only to belittle his scientific efforts or complain that he got an A instead of an A+ on a test."

Penny: "I know Beverly can be a bit much sometimes, but I'm sure she has a softer side deep…deep down. She is just really good at hiding it. Typical, Taurus I'd say. Either way, I'm not giving her this letter. It will only make things worse between them. I don't want Beverly to be hurt over it."

Howard: "The only thing in it that will hurt Beverly is Leonard forgetting the period at the end of his last sentence. She's sure to berate him for that mistake, but otherwise the woman has no soul."

Bernadette: "Okay enough Howard. Let Penny handle this. What are you going to do Penny?"

Penny thinks about it for a few moments then she smiles.

Penny: "I have an idea! But, I'm going need your help typing up a new letter. She needs one that will make her so proud of him she'll finally want to give Leonard the praise he deserves. How about we send one from the tenure committee saying Leonard is going to get tenure. She'd be proud of him then right?"

Howard: "Penny that is….uh how can I put this delicately? THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID!"

Penny: "No, it's not!"

He rolls his eyes at her.

Howard: "Beverly may be awful, but she is still a genius! She'll figure out it's all just a big fat lie. Then what do you thing will happen….I'll tell you! She'll hate us even more for trying to trick her and she will condemn Leonard for not actually getting the job."

Penny frowns not sure what to do now.

Bernadette: "Howard makes a good point. We probably shouldn't be meddling in their family affairs, anyway.

Penny: "But, I'm his girlfriend isn't it like my job to meddle?"

Howard: No, that's a wife or mother's job. If you want to go ring shopping that's fine, but until then maybe encourage them to seek professional help."

Penny: "I don't know counseling…. do you really think that can work?"

Bernadette: "It's worth a try. I know of a great counselor here in town. He used to work with some of the patients in my lab and sometimes Dr. Davis still makes house calls."

She opens up her purse and hands Penny a business card with the counselor's information on it.

Penny nods her head at then she thanks Bernadette. She pulls out her phone and calls up the counselor to schedule a meeting for Leonard and his mother.

As Alex leaves the hospital with Sheldon's Virtual Presence Device she looks down at the business card giving to her by Dr. Lorre. She can't make up her mind whether or not to call him because she still has a thing for Leonard.

Alex: "May I ask you a question Dr. Cooper? It's about Leonard."

Sheldon thinks he already knows what she is going to ask him so he gives her an answer.

Sheldon: "No, don't buy him anymore soy milk. He is whiny and emotional enough as it is. Just bring me some tea please and well I'll make you a grocery list of things to get and exactly where to buy each item from."

He pulls up a computerized notepad on his V.P.D screen and starts typing out his list of grocery items. But, Alex shakes her head because that was not what she was going to ask him about at all.

Alex: "Dr. Cooper, I want to know….ummm…. do you think Leonard and Penny are happy together?"

Sheldon: "Are they happy? Why do you even care about their happiness? You work for me. Only my happiness matters."

Alex: "Well, I'm just curious."

Sheldon sighs sensing this conversation is about to become even more awkward because he knows all about Alex's annoying little crush on his roommate.

Sheldon: "Alex, what is this really about? I don't do girly feelings well."

Alex: "Can this be kept off the record books, sir?"

Sheldon: "Yes, okay… off the record."

Alex: "I just can't stop thinking about Dr. Hofstadter, sir."

Sheldon: "I see. Well then may I give you a little advice, Alex? You know… off the record."

Alex: "Yes. Please."

Sheldon: "RUN AWAY, RUN FAST! RUN FAR! Never hop aboard the Leonard Express. Just don't even buy a ticket for that train you'll j get stuck with no key to get through to the next gate. Trust me I know what I'm talking about. I've had dreams about it already."

Alex: "I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper. I don't understand."

Sheldon: "Of course you don't! You're brain cells are still floating in all that goofy juice. Alex, read my lips...HE. IS. NOT. FOR. YOU!

Alex: "But….I"

He immediately shakes his head at her and interrupts Alex with a loud siren sound blaring through his device.

Sheldon. "NOT FOR YOU!"

Alex: "Isn't this really up to Leonard to decide? I just thought maybe if he got to really know me then…."

Sheldon: "I SAID NO! I'm sorry Alex, but I'm doing this for your own good. You are my assistant and I am hence forth forbidding you from pursuing any sort of romantic relationship with my best friend, colleague and roommate."

Alex: "WHAT!? You're forbidding me!? You…YOU CAN'T DO THAT, SIR!"

Sheldon: "Don't you take that tone of voice with me young lady. Yes, I can forbid you if I want! I'm your boss; you have to do what I say. Trust me….you do NOT want to get involved with Leonard. He's not right for you anyway."

Alex: "So what you don't think I'm good enough for Leonard?"

Sheldon: "Alex, you're my assistant. I handpicked you out of all the applicants to have the great privilege of watching me make scientific history and you get to do all sorts of mundane things for me that I'm far too intelligent to be bothered with. I've known Leonard for years and you already are doing a better job than him at being my flunky."

Alex: "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

He winks and points a finger at her.

Sheldon: "See there you do catch on quick. Now be a dear and pick my device up and put us in the car."

Alex bites her own lip and balls up her fists feeling furious right now. She badly wants to scream at his screen for daring to tell her who she can and can't date as if he is her father or something, but she wisely chooses to hold her tongue. Alex starts to wonder if maybe Sheldon is trying to protect her for a good reason. She doesn't understand her crazy, condescending boss most of the time, but she realizes he does know Leonard better than she does at this point. And, she really does not want to cause trouble for Leonard with Penny or get her feelings hurt from a possible rejection.

Still the thought of being around Leonard all this time while working for Sheldon and not being able to act on her true feelings makes her very upset. She has felt pretty lonely lately and doesn't know if she'll ever find the right guy. Alex looks at the doctor's card in her hand again and finally decides it's worth it to at least give Dr. Lorre a call just to see how it goes. If being with Leonard means having to put up with Sheldon meddling in her personal life then she feels perhaps its not worth all the drama.

Sheldon: "Hurry up Alex the weather channel is reporting an eighty-five percent chance of precipitation. I don't want my virtual presence device to get wet, put it in the car."

She manually shuts off Dr. Cooper's device and loads it into the trunk of her car. Sheldon tries to protest this because he wants her to put his device on the passenger's seat so he can tell her how to drive, but she purposefully closes the trunk before he can get out any more crazy demands. Alex then gets into her car, turns on her favorite angry chick music and sings the songs loudly while driving fast down the road to help her deal with her frustration.

Author's Note: Once again thanks for reading. Now that Alex is ready to move on to Dr. Lorre and stop just pining over Leonard I'm going to work on repairing some of the damage in the Leonard-Beverly mother-son relationship. And, finally reveal my decison on whether or not Amy's mother will let her stay in Pasadena with Penny or take Amy away to live with her instead. Stay Tuned. :)