Hey Finn,

It's been a week since they told me that you weren't coming back, that you're gone forever. I know it won't surprise you to know that I'm still refusing to believe it. How can you be dead when it feels like my world hasn't even changed at all? I can still feel you, it's like there is a thousand tiny strings knotting me to you, and not one of them feels as though its slackened or been cut. They are all still taught, still holding fast. If I can still feel you, even though I can't see or hear you, how can you be truly dead Finn? I just don't understand.

They keep telling me to come out and socialize, to not spend all my time hulled up in the room we shared in thirteen. Its impossible for me to leave the room just yet though. Everywhere else in this strange place only has the slightest memories of you, perhaps a sun tanned hand gripping tight to a railing on the stairway, a coy smile across from me at the breakfast table. But here in this room you're everywhere. The scent of your hair, all soap and musk is still clinging to your pillow, lulling me to sleep when the night's darkness seems as though it's going to close in around me. Some of the clothes the people in this place assigned for you to wear are still tucked away in the wardrobe, and a piece of rope sits atop the dresser, twisted and frayed at the ends, a lumpy ball of knots. Sometimes If I listen hard enough I could almost swear I can hear you laughing.

You had such a beautiful laugh Finn, if it's even truly possible when you laughed, you were even more handsome. The soft laugh lines formed around your mouth, your eyes crinkling slightly, sea green jewels hiding in amongst bronze lashes. I used to stare at that face for hours on end and wonder why you, who could have had and did have any woman in Panem chose me, the bedraggled mad victor back home who no one ever took seriously. I could never work out why that was, but all I knew was that you did love me, and that you'd never stop. You promised me that.

I'll never stop loving you either Finn. I don't care what anyone says. Annie Odair keeps her promises, just like you do. Remember when you told me you'd never leave me? After I sat crying in a hospital gown after they dragged me out of that awful twisting water, full of dirt, leaves and the bodies of my fellow tributes? You pressed your lips against my head, cradled me against your chest and you promised you'd never leave me, that you'd never let me go. So far you've always kept that promise. I refuse to believe a little thing like death would get in the way of that. It doesn't.

I still see Jarl, with his eyes bright and confused as Adonis's sword swept through his throat like it was no more than butter, and in turn Adonis clawing desperately at branches before being sucked deep underneath the foaming mass of water that helped win me my games. I see them every night in my dreams. I see them when I blink, their dying moments projecting from my memories onto my eyelids. Death hasn't allowed for them to leave me, and I know you in turn will join them now, haunting me from that one part of me that failed me, my mind. I can't help but admit I find some kind of solace in that. Perhaps there are some perks to being stark raving mad after all.

I'm running out of paper to write this on, you know how stringent and stingy Thirteen is with their supplies, so I suppose I'll have to bid you farewell my love. When I next write you I'll probably be back home in four, so I'll have all the paper I want.

I miss you Like Crazy,

Your Annie xx

A.N: Just to clear up some questions I suppose

Jarl is the name I've bestowed upon Annie's poor district partner from her games, while Adonis is the name of the district 1 tribute from her games.

I'll try to update this regularly, unlike my other fics which I kind of have as occasional outlets, this for the time being will be pretty constant (A week or so between updates at the most)

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