Wow, I got so caught up with The Stark Effect, I think I all but forgot about updating this! Goodness! I'm sorry!

Chapter 3: Why is it Always Fucking Me

Anyways, more stuff, Jake speaks, woohoo. Let's see if you can get to the end without hating me. XD

"Jacob, please, your family just wants to know you're alright. Can't we all just discuss this?"

I pressed my back against the door, my whole body tense.

I'd nearly worked up the courage to go downstairs, but not quite. How could I face them like this? I was a fucking girl, a girl in tight ass pants with Vampire stench all over me! I could practically hear them laughing at me already.

"Jacob, please, be reasonable," Alice called up, "you family is getting worried." I snorted. So they were getting violent, so what? That's what wolves did. Pixie Vamp could go fuck herself.

" You could just be mature about this and come downstairs," she sang.

Did she really think I would move?

"Emmett." I heard Alice say, and the door smashed open, the gorilla of a vampire grabbing me by the waist and hauling me downstairs like a fuckin' sack of flour. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on the Cullen's wooden floors looking up at the shocked faces of Sam, Paul, Jared, and my Dad. Well damn. And here I thought the leeches were all manners.

Sam's mouth fell open, and Jared sank down onto the couch, shock evident in his eyes. Paul looked like he was on the verge of fainting. My Dad was there too, and he just looked… sad.

"Jake? That's not really you is it?" Sam asked.

I nodded, unable to do anything else.

That's when Paul started giggling. The bastard.

"Shit man! Why'd you go and do that?" he whined, clutching his nose as blood ran through his fingers after I punched him the nose. Was it bad that I was a little bit relieved? I was half afraid I wouldn't be able to do that much.

I glared instead of answering.

He held up his hands in defeat. " I know you're you're still Jake, but I can't hit a girl! That's not even fair man!" I rolled my eyes, he never hesitated to attack Leah, and if he thought I was falling for it, he was dumber than I thought.

"Enough of this. We came here to discuss some things," my Dad said.

I frowned, confused.

What was there to discuss? I just wanted to get out of here before things managed to get worse, because knowing my luck, and knowing the leeches, it would get worse.

"Jacob, come outside, I want you to hear this from me first."

Oh man, this was not good.

What the fuck was happening?

We stood outside on the porch, and the way he was looking at me, I did not like it. It reminded me of the night I phased the first time. Like he was getting too old. Like he didn't want me to go through it.

"Jacob, I'm sorry."

He was quiet after that.

I pulled my pad and paper out of a pocket, and scribbled,

"What are you sorry for?"

"Jake, you have to understand, you have two sisters, we thought it would've been Rachel or Rebecca. The last thing we expected-"

He paused, like he didn't know what to say.

Goddamn, I wish I could talk right now.

His eyes. They looked like he was haunted.

"What's going on?" I wrote, knowing I would not like the answer.

Forks, Washington, 1910

The eve of my birth my mother gave me my first name, the name I would be called only by family. Later, my name would be changed, to describe attractive skills and traits, in hopes of finding a husband. So as a girl, I was called Chenoa, the Chieftain's Little Dove of a daughter. Later, my mother would tell me, "I should have called you Umala" without discipline. It was true, I was a pitiful excuse for a daughter. I didn't sew, or cook or clean. I didn't care to learn the obligatory skills a woman should have. It was doubly awful, because as the Chief's daughter, I should've been the standard other little girls aspired to reach. In my mind though, I was perfection. I shot a long bow better than any of my brothers, I could hunt and swim and run faster than the boys. Even Enapay envied me, Enapay Black who howls at the moon, who would later be called Ephraim, and someday be Chief himself. It was laughable, but true. Those were the best moments, when just for a second, my family forgot I was a girl at all. Then they were proud of me.

And then I began growing, aging, and it was all too obvious that I was, in fact, a young woman. They hid me, shamed, because not a single man wanted me. I was fine with it, but mother couldn't be consoled. She called it her own failure, where I saw it as my own success. I wanted nor needed a man.

My ultimate desire, one I knew I would never experience, was to be a Wolf Warrior, one of the shifters who protected the tribe as Wolves, and lived among us as men. All the males of our family were Warriors, and the same blood ran through my veins. I wanted it more than anything, but it wasn't meant to be. I was a woman, and a female Wolf Warrior would be an abomination.

My Sixteenth winter was the first time I saw a Cold One outside of the rough paintings we kept in the burial grounds, as a reminder. In the old days, we had lost many to their kind, but lately, they had become rare. Father said it was the White Men who had settled nearby. Their presence meant that the Cold Ones didn't need to come to us for a… for a meal. It also meant that they needed to hide more. For some reason, they didn't wish to be discovered. He was tall, pale-hair, with glowing eyes and alabaster skin. He was an odd one, as his eyes were golden, like the sacred jewelry my mother wore, and he spoke to us civilly, in the White Man's language that only the young and important spoke. The Elders warned of the loss of our own native tongue, I but I didn't believe it. Why trade our fluid, lyrical words for the clunky, rough grumbles the White Man spoke?

They spoke of treaties. The Cold One's family wished for peace. Ephraim, who was the new Chief then, agreed, hoping to end this 'rivalry', as he called it. Even as the all powerful Chief, it was obvious he still lacked wisdom. Our history with the Cold Ones was no rivalry. It was war. Still, our tribe came to trust them. Other Cold Ones avoided our territory at the Cullen's orders, and we were safer. I was satisfied, if not content. But then my fragile happiness shattered. Mother constantly argued with me. I believe she hated me by then. I was a burden to my family, even when Ephraim said otherwise. I truly loved my brother. But my relationship with my other family, mother mostly, was worse than strained. Every time we spoke, I was filled with all consuming, completely irrational anger. Her second name for me was Chanso, a double edged insult, as it meant 'Locust' a pest, and it was a name only reserved for the most unruly of boys. Ephraim called me 'Honiah', little wolf. Looking back, I often wondered if Ephraim had the spirit of the Oracle within him.

Just after the celebration of my Seventeenth year, I shifted. Like a man would. It was a terrifying experience, one moment I was human, the next I was an animal, scared and hostile. It was two days before I calmed enough to change back, naked as the day I was born. The women of the tribe, and the Elders shunned me. They called me Kokyan , Bitter Demon, Devil Woman, and more. My mother took to telling people she no longer had a daughter, that I was a 'Chepi' a changeling. But my brothers, the Wolf Warriors, understood me. I always had a place among their ranks.

And then was the day I died. I was twenty, relatively young, but a spinster by tribal standards, and I experienced something that few wolves experienced in their lifetime. I found my spirit partner. But it wasn't to be. I knew all too well that a wolf with out his mate would inevitably die, but it was not possible to have him.

In my mind, I called him Galilah, the handsome one. But he introduced himself as Edward Cullen.

I think I knew what he was saying to me. But it didn't make any sense.

No, I guess it did. I just didn't want it to.

"No." I choked out, my throat dry and sore from disuse.

I had to stop what would've been a brilliant rant when I heard myself.

My voice wasn't just a little different. It was higher, and fuck I sounded like some kind of little girl that did cheerleading or tea parties or some shit.

This was not happening.

"This…isn't possible. Not even for us," I said, coughing, and Carlisle appeared at the door.

"Is everything alright? Are you feeling well Jacob?"

I couldn't look him in the eyes. Did he agree with my Dad? Did they really expect me to… God, I was going to throw up.

Sam, Jared and Paul came out next, looking disturbed.

"Thank you for helping our bro- sister," Sam stumbled slightly on the words, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Let's go," my Dad said, nodding farewell to the Cullen's.

"We'll discuss this in detail at home.

"I hope you feel better the next time we meet, Jacob," Carlisle said, as Sam grabbed my hand and led me out the door. I blanched. I didn't want to see this god forsaken house or anyone in it ever again.

Sam looked me over quickly like he was he was concerned, and probably confused. Hell, I know I was.

I hadn't really noticed before, but Sam was now a good foot and a half taller than me, twice as wide, and just as intimidating.

"Jacob," he asked, just as we reached the treeline, "so you don't remember anything? How you got to the Cullen's house I mean?"

I shook my head. "I was just running my patrols. Next thing I know everything hurts and I black out. I woke up with half the Addams family breathing down my neck."

"What's with the clothes Jake?" He asked hesitantly, as if he was afraid of the answer.

I glared back at the Leeches' house. "Alice. The Pixie looking one, decided to play Barbie. I've never felt so molested in my life," I told him finally, wandering deeper into the woods to phase. Sam caught my arm.

"I don't think that's a good idea Jake- you might be hurt. We still have no clue what's wrong with you," he said.

I crossed my arms over my uh, chest. "And how exactly am I gonna get home then? On your back?" I asked. I wasn't the only sick one if he thought that was gonna fly with me.

And then I saw my Rabbit.

"Who the fuck said you could drive my car?"

I guess the shock had worn off. 'Cause now I was just pissed.

Please don't yell at me for not being super correct about Native American culture. I'm sorry, okay? Google doesn't solve all ignorance.