A/N: Ok, sorry it took so long but here it is chapter 9. So part of the reason it took so long is because I had to go back through the other chapters and change something's, nothing really major but enough to make my new plot idea work, so those are now re-uploaded as well.

Disclaimer: I own only my OC Shadowfire and changes to existing plot.

Breem- 8.3 minutes

Nano-klick- One second

Klick- 1.2 minutes

Joor- 6.5 hours

Solar cycle- One day

Cycle- 1.25 hours

Vorn- 83 years

.:abcd:.- Comm' link

{abcd}- Bond

"abcd"- Cybertronian

abcd- Thought's

Chapter 9

I walked into the medbay half expecting a wrench to be flying in my direction; I was pleasantly surprised when there wasn't.

Until I saw Ratchets face.

"I specifically told you no training for this reason femme." He growled out as I walked toward the nearest berth.

"And I didn't-"

"Then what were you doing?" He asked cutting me off.

"Stress relief?" I know there's not a hope in the pit that I'll get off that easy. To be honest I'm surprised Ratchet's glare hadn't melted me by that point.

"And when your joint began causing pain did you think that maybe you should stop?" He asked in a tone that told me he knew the answer. In light of this I decided not to say anything, that and when I opened my mouth I could see him fingering one of his wrench's.

He started speaking again after a quick scan.

"You're lucky you stopped when you did or you wouldn't be flying for a few day's at least." He said before starting his work, ignoring my look of complete shock. How does shooting affect my being able to fly? I cocked my helm to the side a questioning expression on my face.

"Ratchet-"

"In its weakened state you could have damaged it enough to impede your transformations; contrary to what you all think I have reasons for the limitations I place." He said using more force than necessary on my shoulder.

That would have been great to know before. I sat there wincing occasionally as he finished, after he was done I slinked out of the medbay cowed by the thought of not being able to fly even for a few days. It is one thing to choose not to do something but it is another thing entirely to have no choice about it.

Nightmares are new for me, let's face it when your creators are as obsessed (not to mention extremely well trained) with weapons as mine are you don't really have the same fears as other younglings. So if you haven't figured it out yet, I have no idea how to deal with them. The fact that I was having them now shows just how much this whole experience has fragged up my processor.

So now there I was on a small little hill overlooking the ocean hoping to escape them. Normally I fall back on sparing but that's obviously not an option at the moment.

"Can't recharge?"

I practically flew to my feet forming a dagger as I turned, only to see a semi-amused Sideswipe standing behind me with his arms crossed.

"So that's a yes?" He asked still grinning.

For whatever reason he ignores my few skittish moments, unlike everyone else who either apologizes, tiptoes around me for a day afterward or both. I'm still not sure if I appreciate or hate it.

"What do you want?" I asked trying to will my now racing spark to slow down.

"Why do you assume I want something?" He asked

I just glared at him not bothering with an answer as I was in no mood for playful banter, and my already dark mood was only getting worse the more he tried. I could have sworn I heard him murmur something that sounded suspiciously like "Femmes" before he answered.

"I was just on patrol and saw you walking over here, and considering everyone else is recharging or at least trying to I came to see what was wrong."

I looked at him suspiciously but he actually sounded… serious, something I've never expected from him. My glare softened a little before I turned away with a sigh. I don't really want to explain that I'm having nightmares for the first time in my life, not that I'd know how if I did. I guess I can blame that on being with the 'Cons for so long.

Part of me still see's asking for help as a weakness, no matter that I actually need it or that among the Autobots it's practically expected. I don't know how long I sat there arguing with myself before I finally answered.

"Sideswipe I don't think it's anything you can help with." I said glancing at him from the corner of my optics to see his reaction.

To his credit he didn't look too surprised by my answer but instead of walking away like I expected he stood there expectantly.

"Why are you still here?" I asked now actually turning my helm so I could see him better.

I saw a corner of his lips twitch up before he answered.

"I'm not going anywhere until you at least tell me what's bothering you."

My mouth almost dropped open from shock. Why is he so fragging insistent on me telling him? I scoured my processor trying to find a reason what his motives could possibly be, but came up with nothing.

Fine then.

"Nightmares." I said with a sigh.

He looked at me obviously expecting more details, Primus what does he want a fragging play by play? He sure as pit knows what they're about so why do I have to tell him, I'm already having enough trouble keeping my memories at bay without him interfering. At that I came to a conclusion, it was his fault I was there anyway.

"Your fault, it was all your fault. If you could have just been serious for one fragging mission none of this would have happened! I wouldn't have been tortured or-" I turned away hiding the tears in my optics.

I don't know how long I stood there warring with my emotions, it was only when he took a step back that I realized I had drawn my sword. I looked back at him and it was obvious from his shocked look this was not the reaction he expected, well to fragging bad. However as much as I wanted to offline him I knew if I did I wouldn't be welcome here any longer, then where would I be, but alone and hunted by both sides.

"Please just leave me alone." I said my voice wavering. After he left I stood there torn between screaming out my frustrations or breaking down into tears. As I tried to sheath my sword I realized my servos were shaking.

Frag it, I need some high grade. I stood up taking a second to cycle some air, hoping to cool my systems a bit. I picked up my blade and sheathed it before starting toward the 'bot rec room/lounge. It's basically just a room with a television, bot sized couches, and a supply of mid and high grade energon.

I was glad to find that it was empty when I arrived, but honestly it was the middle of the fragging night who else would be there? So I crossed the room to the. . . well to be honest I'm not really sure what to call it but the best description would be two counters, one for bots around mom's size and the second for the taller bots.

Any way I grabbed 4 cubes which is usually just enough to give me a sort of warm fuzzy feeling. However I forgot to take into account that my tanks practically empty so somewhere around half way through the third cube I wasn't quite over energized but was a bit passed what humans would call "tipsy". It wasn't until I onlined in the morning that I realized I was still in the rec room.

I groaned when I realized that at some point I had finished another 3 cubes as well, but I guess that explains the processor ache. I stood up and placed them with the other used cubes before downing a mid-grade cube and adding it to the stack.

Of course that for whatever reason caused the whole stack to tilt. My intakes stop for a second while I waited for it to fall and I carefully walked backward toward to door; of course as soon as I turned to leave though the whole thing came crashing down. I vented slowly trying not to take my frustration out on the wall.

Five minutes and several attempts later I just left that cube off of the stack. Yup I can already tell this'll be a great day. When I left the room I headed toward the wash racks, figuring I should at least try to get some of the dirt off my frame. I had made half-way there before I noticed Sideswipe following me. I don't know how long he has been but I should have noticed before sooner either way I have no desire to talk to the fragger, pit just looking at him makes my energon boil.

So not wanting to get into a fight at the moment I transformed down into my lambo alt and took off in the general direction of the wash racks. When I was satisfied that he wasn't following me anymore I slowed down to the "legal" base speed limit, after all I don't want to know what punishment Prime would think up for speeding if I don't have to.

Before I knew it I reached my destination, however before I could even start my transformation sequence I received a comm from Prime.

.: Shadow if you have a moment I would like to speak with you.:. He said

.: Now?:. I asked praying to Primus he said no.

.: If possible.:.

Well slag there went my plan.

I sighed .: On my way, Shadow out.:.

I signed off before I realized that I didn't ask where he was. If I could have I would have face-palmed (something that I've picked up from the humans). Now I just had to decide whether to comm him back or just take a guess of where he is. Of course I'm stubborn so I guessed.

Luckily when I walked into his office he was sitting behind his desk reading a data pad.

"Prime." I said coming to a stop in front of him.

He set down the data pad as he looked up at me and steepling his fingers in-front of his chest. "Shadow I just wanted to see how you were recovering."

I stared at him shuttering and unshuttering my optics. "How am I? Gee let's see almost everyone hates me, I can't shoot or train and I'm apparently having night-" I stopped there shuttering my optics. I wasn't planning on telling anyone else that. I glanced up at Optimus to see him looking at me concerned.

"Sorry it just been… stressful lately."

Optimus nodded "That's understandable but if you need anything do not hesitate to ask."

I nodded "Is that all?" I asked I doubt that he would call me here just for that.

"Actually no, Ratchet has informed me of your situation." He said looking straight into my optics. I froze why would Ratchet tell him now of all times?

"So in light of this as you cannot train I found a job that is within your currently limited ability's. It has come to my attention that Mikaela Banes is in need a guardian and as you are already acquainted with her I believe you are perfect for the job." I blinked in surprise at this.

Ok on one servo I was relieved that Ratchet hadn't told him and on the other I was surprised he trusted me enough for this.

"Prime I… do you really trust me that much?"

"I do and I will continue to do so until proven otherwise, though I would prefer such an event never take place."

In other words don't frag up.

I stood there processing, going over my options before I answered.

"Prime… thank you, I would be honored to receive this assignment."

Optimus smiled at me "Good, you are free to leave tomorrow at your convenience." I nodded before walking out of his office. It was only when I reached the wash racks that I realized a very important fact. In order to take the assignment I would need to leave Sapphire behind.

"Oh Pit." I groaned sliding down the slick wall. How could I have forgotten her? I know she won't be happy but it's better in the long run right? She can't enjoy the current environment, all the hostility between the other bots and I. That and I need this I can't sit around on my aft all day, it's just not in my nature.

But she'll understand that?

Right?

I walked out of the wash racks lost in thought and managed to almost walk over Mom.

"Shadow watch it!" I started at her exclamation but said nothing. She stepped back and looked at me closely for a minute before speaking.

"Shadow is something bothering you?" She asked concerned.

"N- yes" I said seeing her glare and she gave me a look that clearly said to continue. "Well Optimus offered me an assignment and I accepted but it was only afterward that I remembered I have Sapphire" It was around here I lost track of my own thoughts.

"Shadow I think-."

"and I know I shouldn't have forgotten-"

"Shadow?"

"but I've never exactly had a youngling to care for before"

"Shadow!"

"and now I have no idea what I should or shouldn't do-"

"Shadowfire!"

I looked at her surprised.

"Sit."

I stared at her confused.

"Well come on your too fragging tall for me to talk to like this so sit."

I snorted at that but sat none the less. She leaned on the wall next to me giving me a hard look which made me feel like I was a youngling again.

"Shadowfire I realize this is new for you but you have to calm down, you can't do anything if you glitch." I vented and started to open my mouth only to close it when her optics narrowed even more.

"Now tell me why you accepted."

I vented "What does-"

"Mute it, now answer the question. Why did you accept?" I thought for a second.

"I need it."

"Why?"

I took a moment to process that before answering.

"I need to get away from here. Everyone switches between pitying and hating me, and because of my injuries I can't take any other missions."

"So why take this one?"

"Because I still want to help, but I don't see what-"

"Mute it." Mom growled "Now what good will you do 'Phire if you drive yourself insane here? None, so go tell her and spend the rest of the day with her but you will take the assignment and heal or I swear to Primus I won't let you near her."

"What?!" My jaw dropped

"I didn't stutter and it's for your own good. I know this is wearing you out, 'Hide and I raised you and 'Bee in relative peace, but between the missions you were sent on and her own training I don't think you've gotten a single day alone with Sapphire."

I opened my mouth only to realize she was right. Both of us were training and while I've been recovering she still had training. Not that we have a choice because of the fighting, not to mention that we're stranded on this planet with nowhere to go. So we're always busy her for defense and me from habit as well as keeping up my skills.

"And what do you suggest I do?"

Mom thought for a minute. "You haven't been cleared for field missions yet right?" She asked. I nodded slowly as I was unsure what she was getting at.

"Then as your both going to be here during the next one," I went to correct her but was once again silenced with a look. "As I was saying you can spend the time with Sapphire then leave. Speaking of which what are you doing?" I slowly vented as I had been hoping I wouldn't have to tell her.

"Guardian for Banes."

I could tell she didn't know who I was talking about.

Well maybe this won't be as bad as I thought.

"Sam's girlfriend? What Bee does talk to me." she said seeing my shocked expression. Of course he does now she's going to ask-

"So are you going to tell him?" She asked.

Yup there it is.

"What just out of nowhere like "Hi remember that sister you thought was dead yeah I'm her."

"Yes."

I shuttered my optics with a quick vent. "Mom not everyone appreciates your bluntness in all areas, some things you can't-shouldn't just spit out."

"You will have to tell him one way or another." She said

"Or what?"

"He will figure it out for himself, he is a scout they're trained to be observant and the amount of time you will be spending together will be significant-"

"I'm good at hiding my feelings."

"And if he finds out from another bot he will hate you, or at the least resent you for not trusting him and that goes for your father as well. Besides I have all of them after me asking why I'm so friendly with you, the ex 'Con when any other I'd just slag." I glared at her.

"Thanks mom because that makes it so much easier." I stood up and started pacing.

"Fraaagg." I groaned "What if they hate me anyway? Regardless of my state I did horrible things as a 'Con, so why wouldn't they hate me?"

Mom grabbed my servo forcing me to look her in the optics before she spoke.

"Shadowfire 'Bee adores you even now when he thinks your offline after all this time. All the time he wishes you were still here, 'Hide and the others are no different. Yes your father may need some time but your brother will forgive you just like he always has."

After mom finished speaking she held my stare for a second before letting go of my servo and walking into the wash racks.

"Mom wait."

She stopped in the entrance and turned back toward me.

"Thanks." I said softly sending love and gratitude through our bond.

{You are welcome Sweetspark.} She replied before walking through the door. I started to walk away before I heard her shout.

"And don't forget about tomorrow!"

I rolled my optics before walking off already making plans for the next day.

"So what exactly do you do for fun?"

Sapphire blinked, her brow plates scrunching up as she looked at me confused.

"Umm… train?" She said a few seconds later.

I vented Primus she worse than her grandfather… not that I'm much better.

"Besides training."

"Isn't Uncle Bee supposed to be here today?"

I managed to keep from glitching when she called my brother her uncle.

"What did you call him?" I asked

Sapphire looked at me her helm tilted sideways. "Uncle Bee, he told me to call him that last time he visited, and he seemed really happy when I did."

I'm glad she wasn't looking at me or she would have noticed my optics dim, and I can't exactly tell her it's because he thought he never would be.

"Well maybe you can get ideas from him, I'm sure he'll have some." As I said that I noticed Sapphire giving me a funny look from the corner of her optic. Right I forgot as far as she's concerned I've only met him once, though that's only because I made sure to avoid him whenever he came, not really a choice now.

"Mom is everything ok?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well you're acting really weird."

I vented "Everything is fine sweetspark."

She kept staring at me with her brilliant sapphire optics like she was looking directly into my spark.

"Mom-"

"Sapphire drop it, I'm fine."

I felt guilty when I saw the hurt in her optics, but before I had the chance to apologize I heard, then saw a C-130 fly overhead. Sapphire was off and almost transformed before she stopped looking guilty. I sighed, transforming down as well.

"Well let's go greet Uncle 'Bee." I said trying to set aside my apprehension.

I really wish I'd taken acting classes.

A/N: BTW any activity ideas you my have for Shadowfire and Co. will help finish the next chapter much faster, beacuse to be honest I suck at coming up with them.