A/n: This is sort of a sequel to another fic I wrote called Muse but I think I wrote it in a way that, even if you haven't read that story, you'll still understand what's going on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Sasuke wore his suit like a black cloud. He sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands and his tie still undone. His eyes were closed and his back was hunched.

Naruto walked through the door and saw him. He looked like a shell of a man. He looked empty, hollow and useless. To some extent, it unnerved Naruto. He had never seen Sasuke like this and it scared him.

"Sasuke," Naruto said, his voice echoing slightly in the hollowness of the room.

He looked up. His onyx eyes were blood shot and he looked sickly pale. He looked like he wanted to throw up.

"The funeral is going to start soon," Naruto muttered, almost unwilling to break the silence of the room, "Are you ready."

Sasuke nodded mutely and nimbly tied his tie. He stood up and followed Naruto out of his apartment.

"We can take my car, if you want?" Naruto said.

But Sasuke shook his head and said, "I'd rather take my own car."

Naruto frowned. He was worried about why Sasuke wanted to take his own car and wondered if it was because he would want to leave the funeral early or not go at all. It had been extremely difficult to get Sasuke out of his bed this morning and it was even worse trying to get him to change into his sombre black suit.

Naruto hadn't known Sasuke that well before she died but now he felt like he was responsible for Sasuke just as much as Sasuke felt Naruto was responsible for her death. Naruto was the one who switched off the machines that were keeping Sakura alive after she got hit by that car.

Sasuke followed Naruto out of the apartment to their different cars. Naruto opened his door and looked at Sasuke then said, "See you there."

"Hn," Sasuke muttered in response as he climbed into his car.

He remained there, clutching the wheel, long after Naruto had driven past. He leaned his forehead against the rim and closed his eyes. He didn't want to go to the funeral. He didn't even want there to be a funeral. He could taste something dead in his mouth. He hadn't slept in days and the fatigue was beginning to show.

"Are you not even going to go to my funeral?"

Sasuke opened his eyes, "I'll go…"

"Then what are you still doing in the drive way."

Sasuke remained silent, pressing his lips into a hard, long line.

"Sasuke…"

He felt fingertips brush the side of his face then he sat up abruptly, breaking contact, and, furiously wiping his eyes, turned the key in the ignition and drove away. He drove to the funeral. It was taking place in a cemetery and Sasuke hated the idea of her lying in the ground with strangers next to her. He wanted her to be with him. She was supposed to be with him.

Why did she have to die?

For a long time, Sasuke didn't accept it. He barely accepted it now. When Naruto switched off those machines, it was like he switched Sasuke off too.

When Sasuke got to the cemetery, he parked the car but still sat in it for a while. He watched the other people attending her funeral walk past his car to the place where her body would soon be laid to rest. Sasuke narrowed his eyes when he saw other people cry. He couldn't do it. He couldn't cry. He had tried but it hadn't worked. Sasuke Uchiha did not cry.

He sighed and leaned forward, rummaging under his seat till he found a small plastic bag. He ripped it open and poured the white powder on to his palm. He quickly inhaled it through his nostrils. Rubbing his itching nose, he pulled some pills out of his coat pocket and downed them with some water. He felt the world sway then grow gray and numb until finally he felt like he could handle it. He felt like he would be able to go to her funeral.

"Why do you need the drugs? Sasuke? You're just hurting yourself."

Sasuke closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, "That's the point."

"Please…"

He looked at her. He touched her face and said, "You're so much more real to me when I'm stoned."

Then he wrenched his hand away, opened the door and got out of the car. He walked up the small hill to where he could see Naruto. He didn't know anyone else at the funeral.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said when he approached.

"Hn."

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked grimly.

"I'm fine," Sasuke snapped but Naruto frowned, looking into Sasuke's eyes.

"Are you high?" Naruto asked suddenly.

Sasuke looked away, "No."

Naruto shook his head, "I can't believe this. I can't fucking believe that you are fucked out of your fucking mind at a fucking funeral."

When Sasuke didn't answer, Naruto continued, "This is her funeral, Sasuke. I thought you'd have more respect for her than this."

Sasuke still wouldn't speak. He felt uncomfortably numb while colours pulsated in and out of his tunnel vision.

"I thought you stopped using drugs after you met her."

Sasuke glared at him, "I did and then she died."

Naruto stopped talking after that. He led the unsteady Sasuke to the chairs that were placed in an aisle to what would soon be her grave. He made Sasuke sit right in front where he could see her where her grave was cut into the ground. It made Sasuke feel uncomfortable to be so close to it. He didn't want to look at it because it made the whole thing so painfully real.

The seat next to Sasuke remained empty and he could see her there, sitting next to him. She held his hand on his lap and made him feel less empty.

Everyone looked around when they started carrying her coffin down the aisle, everyone except Sasuke. He focused on the hand that he believed was holding his. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel the warmth from her palm and it made him feel like she was really there.

He opened his eyes when some pastor stood up to speak over her coffin. Sasuke didn't hear a word of it. His eyes remained open and glassy even when Naruto was reduced to tears. In his mind, she was right next to him and not in the coffin that was about to be put in the ground.

He was only brought back to reality when a tear-stained Naruto touched his arm. Sasuke looked up and was surprised that everyone was looking at him with their eyes bloodshot from crying.

"What?" Sasuke snapped rudely. He could see that some people were taken aback from his attitude but he didn't care.

"They want to know if you want to say anything," Naruto said.

Sasuke shook his head, "Why?"

"Because… you were the man she loved."

"I was?" Sasuke asked.

Everyone looked at him, startled. They didn't understand. She would've understood. She would've said something that covered up his awkward mistake with some silly remark. He hadn't meant that he was never the man she loved. He had simply thrown off by the fact that everyone was using past tense for her already. He frowned, his forehead furrowing. He wanted to leave. He wanted to go home.

He stood up suddenly, feeling the imaginary hand slip through his fingers.

"Sasuke, where are you going?" Naruto called after him but Sasuke was already long gone. He climbed into his car, fully aware that he shouldn't be driving. He started his car and drove away. He would never know how he got to her apartment with his life. He swerved all over the street and when he came to her building, he bumped into the wall.

He stumbled out of his car and, ignoring everything and everyone around him, walked up the stairs to her apartment.

He hadn't been there since she died. It was locked but he shouldered his way into it. He looked around, staring at all the photos on her wall. He walked to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed with his eyes closed.

He could still smell her scent on her blankets. It was that soft flowery scent that he had actually gotten used to after they met but now it was all he could think about. He closed his eyes, wishing he could die there.

"Sasuke..?"

He looked around and he could see her, lying next to him on the bed like she used to when she was still alive. He reached over and touched her. He could feel her porcelain flesh beneath his fingertips.

"You're not real," Sasuke said almost painfully, "You're not really here. You died."

She smiled and stroked his cheek. He captured her hand and held it there.

"Why did you have to die?" Sasuke said.

She blinked.

He leaned his forehead against hers, "I don't understand. Why can I still see you?"

"Maybe you're going insane."

Sasuke smiled at this, "It would be a relief."

"Or maybe you can see me because I'm real."

He frowned, "but you died."

"I'm still real."

Sasuke looked at her, "Of course you're real. You're mine."

He enfolded her in his arms, "I love you, did you know that. I never told you… when you were alive. I should've. I should have told you every day but instead I let you believe that you meant nothing to me. You mean everything to me. Everything."

He breathed in deeply before continuing, "I think… I think I'm going to stay like this for as long as I have to. You're so real when I'm high. You're completely real. I still can't believe you're real."

He buried his face in the nape of her neck, "I love you so much, Sakura."

"Sasuke?"

His eyes snapped open when he heard Naruto's voice. He sat up and saw Naruto by the door.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke said, his vision was blurry.

"Who were you talking to?"

Sasuke didn't answer. He looked back and saw that Sakura was gone. He blinked, rubbing his eyes.

"Sasuke… do you still see her?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"What? No!" Sasuke laughed hollowly, "That would be crazy!"

"Sasuke, promise me that you'll take care of yourself."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "I'm fine."

"No, Sasuke, I'm serious. I'm really worried about you."

Sasuke looked away, "Leave me alone, Naruto."

Naruto looked at Sasuke for a long time then left the room and closed the door but Sasuke knew that he didn't leave the apartment. Sasuke didn't care because when he looked to his side, Sakura was back. She smiled with her pale lips likes parting rose petals and her skin like tactile porcelain. Sasuke didn't speak. He just looked at, marvelling at how she real she was to him.

a/n: idk. Thanks for reading. Please review and stuff. Or not. That's okay too.