Konnichiwa! Congratulations! You have the unfortunate horror of testing out my first ever "SakuraXMulti" fic! Read on for humor, fluff, and perverts!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of Masashi Kishimoto's characters.

"Sasori! Get your freaky puppets away from me!"

"Naruto! What did you do to the laundry room? There is ramen everywhere!"

"Madara! Quit referring to me as your wife! You are twenty years older than me, you disgusting pedophile!"

"Neji! Get your hands off of my vanilla conditioner!"

"Deidara! Stop trying to blow up the bathroom!"

"Sasuke! If you respond like that one more time, I will shove this lamp up somewhere I know you won't want it to be!"

"Hidan! Did you just cuss my grandmother out over the phone? What the hell is your problem?"

"Kiba! You tracked mud on the ceiling? How the fuck does that even happen?"

"Pein! Believing that you're 'God' does not excuse you from taking out the trash!"

"Kakashi! Get my pictures out of your 'Icha Icha Paradise' you filthy pervert!"

"Gaara! You cannot kill the maid just because she found your…wait…what the hell was you're teddy-bear doing in my room in the first place?"

"Itachi! You stupid weasel! Give me back my black nail polish!"

"Kakuzu! I needed that money to pay for our electricity bill! It has been three days! Stop pouting!"

"Kimmimaru! Why is Lee at the hospital with an ulna that is literally twisted into a corkscrew?"

"Zetsu's! Arguing with yourself about who gets to take a shower first is completely pointless!"

"Tobi! Did you find that in Hidan's room? Get that out of your mouth right now before you catch something!"

[Sakura POV]

…Yeah, that's my life now… Do you feel sorry for me yet? No? Well you should! Because it's all your damn fault that I have live with these people! They're crazy! They never leave me alone! It's always something with them! I NEVER get a moment of peace because they barged their way into my life without a second thought!

-sigh-

I bet you're wondering how this is all your fault? I guess you have every right to know, considering it IS your fault, even though you were only indirectly involved in the events that lead up to these …. things…. being a constant fixture in my life.

I mean seriously, what kind of friend (cough-INO-cough) stands up in the middle of peace conference after the Hokage asked for peace suggestions, to announce that, and I quote, "Sakura should be married before she turns into a creepy old spinster with eighty-billion cats." After that, she just left! Not another word; just walked right out of the room! I mean seriously!

To make matters worse, the Hokage agreed! She smiled and said "That's a perfect way to maintain peace between the nations. If my apprentice were to marry someone from another village, then a permanent alliance could be forged. Well? What do all of you think of this?"

…They all agreed….

And when I started to argue, well, the solution was "We'll have the shinobi and civilians of everyone village involved vote on whether or not this should take place; we'll tally up the numbers and we'll decide by the end of the month. Does that work for you Sakura-chan?"

…Fucking Shizune…

I thought the women from the involved villages would vote against this stupid settlement, but as it turns out, the majority of the votes for the "peace arrangement" came from the female population opting for an "arranged marriage" between me and some pervert, whom they believe "Would be the perfect match for you Sakura-sama!"

…Traitors….

And that is why I believe this is all your fault, because those of you reading this are only reading this because you think it's some sort of entertaining love story.

Well it's not! It's an irritating, perverted, absurd, ludicrous….well, you get the picture.

I might as well give you a quick run through on what villages and organizations are involved in…this… :

Suna (their Kazekage… really?)

Oto (why? Orochimaru is a pedophilic freak who abandoned us! Why would we want to help his village?)

Konoha (….something about how "It's only fair Baa-chan! We've loved Sakura-chan years before they did!")

Akatsuki (I don't even understand why considering they're already an organization dedicated to peace and they already have strong ties to Konoha because they have several members from Konoha in their ranks already!)

…You can guess from whom I was yelling at earlier who specifically is involved in this ridiculous "courtship game", as Kankuro so affectionately dubbed it…. Yeah, he got kicked somewhere really special for saying that.