Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or some aspects of the plot which are part of the TV show Victorious.

A/N: So I started this a while ago as a fill, but I totally abandoned that idea when I had midterms and a friend died and finals. When I finally came back to the world, I decided I wanted to change it into a fic where Jade is not fixed by Tori, because she's just fine the way she is. Very fine.

Lines (or sometimes chapters) indicate a change in narrator. I try to make it obvious within the first line or two.

Anyway, reviews are always appreciated, and I'll probably update soonish then a little sporadically until I finish it off (the first post has quite a few chapters). I apologize for any little plot holes or grammar/spelling mistakes as this story is un-beta'd (cause that's the way I roll...oh no, that's just cause I don't have one). And the chapters are more logical splits than for length because I didn't want to muddle the main portion with breaks other than change in narrator. I promise you won't hear that much A/Ning from me after this.

I could sing. I mean, I do. But I have a reason to. First, a perfect opportunity to set up a breakup with Beck comes along (the fights were glorious), and now, I get to star opposite Tori…but as her wife. Sure I was totally googly eyed for Beck, at least until we broke up the first time. I was really with him for emotional security. Without the hottest boy, I wasn't the best, which made me no longer special, and no one would find a reason to love me, yadda yadda…or so my therapist described my thought process. I just liked his hair and I thought his skin looked a little like coffee. Not black coffee, but you can't have everything. I didn't really believe my therapist. He was a constant in my unstable life for two years. But stability is only good until it goes away. If you return to it, it just doesn't seem stable. Then when Tori helped me get Beck a dog, it all sort of clicked. Because the moment she showed me kindness and wasn't eying Beck, was concentrated on me—the only thing that mattered was keeping her at arm's length. Not too close, but definitely not too far. Unfortunately, I couldn't bail after she helped me get him that dog. That mauled his father—hehehe. Best shadow puppet show ever. I mean, not that my past relationship with Beck has anything to do with my future friendship with Vega which will fall into place once the rehearsal starts.

Crap. This is pretty hilarious. Not the mauling, the play. Well…yeah, that too. But also terrible. I mean, I'm by no standards a perky housewife named Nancy. I just can't take this assignment seriously. Especially considering the boy I used to date (and broke up with because he wanted to get to the next level) is now my son, the identical twin of a person of a different race. Oh, Sikowitz. You never fail to make an awkward situation. Maybe Sinjin secretly grows his coconuts and imbibes them with awkwardness. Mental note: share this theory with someone later, but get back to reality now.

Of course, the first time I met her was kind of adorably funny too. Her nervously trying to get the coffee out of Beck's shirt. Of course her nervousness made her a prime target at first. Really she's just so scared and innocent until she stands up for herself and what she wants, at which point she becomes predatory. I'm not sure what I like better.

She looked at me, so I put on a disgusted look and make a comment about not liking Tori. Arm's length, and all she ever does is try to get closer, so I'm left with the dirty work. But then, leaving me work I half enjoy, that doesn't really make me a martyr. I enjoy tormenting her because I enjoy tormenting; I don't enjoy it because in all honesty, I really enjoy Tori. And I want to study her. A good scientist doesn't interact with what they're studying.

Later that day, when I actually see her again, we're reading lines. We're not really at the blocking stage yet, just figuring everything out, making suggestions for it. So I sit as far away from Tori as possible, and Sikowitz doesn't seem pleased. Whatever. Even though we're only doing the voices, she insists on falling asleep every time she's supposed to. It's actually really cute, her 'sleep' face, except for the parts where she falls onto Andre or Beck. Well, it's still cute, but then I'm not concentrating on that. When I get to the parts where I have to show love towards her… towards Walter, that is… of course I'm scared to show anything. Usually I'm awesome at acting, but this is a little too far on the real side for me to be comfortable with it. Now that doesn't mean I love her, I mean… it can't. Because teens don't fall in love, certainly not within weeks or months. And I don't fall in love, certainly not with Tori. She's just the only person I've needed to keep close as much as I've needed to push away. That just means friendship, and of course I'd confuse friendship and romantic love, they're equally rare in my life. Are those scissors on the desk? I lift myself up a little by pushing down my arms. Yup. I scooch a little toward the desk and grab them. For comfort. It really might be a shame that other people automatically become uncomfortable, it's not like I can help what makes me feel safe. It might be, if their faces weren't so horrified for a split second. I smile, and they think it's because I enjoy seeing them that way. But that's only the minority of the smile. Scissors and dark make up make me feel safe. God knows why. If I didn't know better, I'd say Tori fakes it sometimes. She's just not the scared type. I guess we're only doing one read through today. I guess I'll go to my house.

The next day, Sikowitz already has Tori's mustache ready. It looks really… bushy. But good on her. And the wigs are already ready, because we had some exactly like the ones we needed. But wigs are uncomfortable. And mustaches are too, but Tori's really getting into it. So we do a runthrough. Well, the one where we do ALL the blocking. Which takes soooo long. Good thing I went to sleep early last night. And there's just so much being around Tori. Sikowitz seems to retry an impossible number of times every scene we're in close proximity. How that man found 15 different ways for her to fall asleep into my arms I'll never know. But he has a gift. I try to catch her gently each time. But I really should be concentrating on Walter, not Tori. And when we finally do our lines about loving each other, all the tenderness falls apart. It has to. Arm's length.