So, I really have no excuse for letting this go without update for so long. I got super sick, yes (more on that on my blog) and school just took over my life. But I still could have made time. Gah! I am so sorry. I am evil.

But here it is, the last chapter before the sequel. I am so proud of this! Enjoy!

Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine is the song.

Never Let Me Go

Manhattan-New York, New York

Vanessa landed with a painful thud and went skidding against the torn up street. She only paused for a second before shooting up to a standing position and reaching into her ear to turn her comms unit back on. There was a lot of confusion all at once it was turned back on. But Vanessa was listening for one voice.

"Loki?" she asked, but it came out sounding like a strangled sob. There was no answer. "Loki? God damn it, Loki answer me!" another sob ripped at her throat and Vanessa felt her legs start to buckle.

She started up at the sky, dawn was upon New York City and the rain was still falling thickly. Chitauri ships were leaving fast; those left on Earth were being shot down. Her eyes frantically searched the sky for the main ship. She dimly registered Phil saying very gently over the comms that the feed in Loki's earpiece had been cut off several minutes ago. The Avengers were confused as to why there was a sudden retreat.

"No," Vanessa choked out. Her legs gave away as her eyes focused on the master ship as it lead the retreat. Without warning, tears started to flow and sobs racked her body. Vanessa doubled over, her body finally allowing her to feel everything it had endured over the past hours; and it felt like her heart had been ripped out. Where her heart should have been it felt empty. He was gone. He had given himself up for her world without even batting an eye.

"Wait?" it was Clint, and he was right behind her. Everyone was behind Vanessa; they were all trying to figure out what was happening. "Loki went away with them?"

Something snapped in Vanessa. Rage unlike anything she had ever felt before boiled over like lava. She wanted to hurt, to scream. She wanted to make someone feel just a small fraction of what she was feeling now. Vanessa stood and spun wildly around, pointing to the sky. Her eyes landed on Clint who looked to be in bad shape. Vanessa didn't care that there were tears running down her face.

"Do you trust him now?" she screamed, her eyes burning into Clint's and her throat searing. "Do you trust him now that he handed over his life so that we could win? He's gone now and nobody ever gave him a chance! He's as good as de—" She stopped. Vanessa could not say it. Loki could not be dead.

She took quick strides towards Clint, ignoring everyone else around her and swung at him, hitting the Hawkeye right in the jaw. She hit him again; spewing insults in whatever language she could think of. Someone, Natasha probably tried to pull Vanessa off, but she wrenched away. She needed to hurt something.

There was a sharp pain in Vanessa's stomach and someone much stronger than her pulled her away and embraced her. Vanessa fought against the figure, blinded by her tears before she realized that it was Thor. That he had lost Loki too…again.

SHIELD Headquarters, Hospital Wing-New York, New York

Just hours ago, the battle had ended. The sun was up, high over New York and the clean up had already begun. But Vanessa didn't want to look out the nearest window. She had been given a fresh set of clothes and all her injuries had been tended to. But she didn't want to move. Vanessa could not move.

So she just sat on a couch in one of the SHIELD hospital rooms with a blanket wrapped around her. She was numb; Vanessa could not feel a thing on her body save for the hole in her heart. She was so overcome with the urge to cry but for right now, she was unable to do anything but stare at the wall blankly in front of her.

Loki was gone. He was never coming back.

When she was brought into the hospital wing, Vanessa was hysterical. Thor and Steve had to carry her in together while she sobbed and held tightly to Loki's scepter that he had left behind. There was a nurse that kept walking by; giving Vanessa sympathetic looks every time. Everyone in the wing simply thought Vanessa was severally traumatized by the battle. And maybe she was, but Vanessa felt more empty than anything else.

Heavy footsteps were coming close, but Vanessa didn't look towards the sound. She continued to stare blankly ahead. She knew it was Phil, but she didn't think she wanted to hear what he had to say. Vanessa didn't think she wanted to hear what anyone had to say ever again.

"The Counsel is going to need you to give a statement," he said gruffly. Phil didn't know what to say, but that was not it.

"Tough," Vanessa responded, her voice horse from crying. She stood abruptly. "I don't want anything to do with the Counsel," she shoved Loki's scepter into Phil's hands. "I assume you were going to take this back anyway."

"Vanessa—"

"Don't!" Vanessa felt the tears coming back again. "Just don't. Nothing you say is going to bring him back, Phil. He's gone!"

Phil sat down next to Vanessa and put an arm around her. "I was going to suggest you get some sleep. I would not want you talking to the Counsel anyway. I was just delivering a message."

Vanessa looked down, feeling a small shred of guilt. "I don't know if I can sleep."

"There is a sleeping pill waiting by your bedside table when you get back to your house. I would escort you back, but I am needed in a meeting."

Vanessa bobbed her head once and stood. Phil would be there later, she knew he would. Given everything that had happened, he would not want to leave Vanessa alone. They walked silently together through the halls of SHIELD, Vanessa tried her hardest to ignore the stares from others. She knew that most of them were taking in her beaten appearance. But Vanessa was afraid that right now, her grief was completely unmasked; she did not want random workers at SHIELD knowing her thoughts right now.

Some five minutes later, Phil said a goodbye; but Vanessa hardly heard him, she just kept walking. Soon, she was outside and walking along a path that lead into a small cluster of trees. The sun was shining brightly overhead now, mocking Vanessa, she had never hated the sun more.

As Vanessa began to walk through the trees a small cottage came into view. It had been built on SHILD property twenty-six years ago to house the organization's greatest project. It was the house Vanessa had grown up in, under the watchful eye of Director Fury and his most trusted agents all that time. More often than not, Phil had been the one to stay over night after night, making sure that a younger Vanessa Brown didn't do something stupid or the time was spent giving her extra tutoring sessions.

As Vanessa spent more time away on extended undercover missions, her time in the cottage was scarce. But even so, the sight of the place offered a small form of comfort in the agent's mind. She knew every nook and cranny of it. When she was younger, Vanessa had discovered all the locations of the cameras hidden in the house and destroyed them. That home had become a sanctuary to Vanessa, and she was eager to get inside and let whatever was left of her guard down.

Vanessa climbed the small steps of the porch and pulled a key from under the blue welcome mat and slipped the key into the slot. She pulled the rich brown door open and stuck her thumb onto a pad that came through a metal slot on the door behind the first. Vanessa leaned forward so her eye could also be scanned. There was a light beep and the metal door slid to the side, granting Vanessa access to her home for the first time in ages.

There was a fine layer of dust on all the surfaces, but otherwise, everything was the same as it had been since Vanessa had last been home. There was a long brown sofa sitting in the living room with a Persian rug underneath and a glass coffee table. On the wall adjacent to the sofa, a TV was mounted.

The whole cottage gave off a feel of autumn. Shades of brown, yellow, red, and orange were everywhere. The walls were red and several paintings hung there. Some, Vanessa had done herself but many had been gifts from others throughout the years. Her eyes found a black and white acrylic painting Vanessa had done years ago of Central Park. Normally, even the sight of her sanctuary had a calming affect on Vanessa. But today she wanted to rip it from its frame and smash the canvas against the walls.

She clenched her fists, refraining. And trudged up the stairs to the tiny second floor, it only had two rooms, her own and a bathroom. The pushed open the door to her room and nearly collapsed onto her bed. Her body was aching and bruised, her heart felt like it had been torn out, and Vanessa felt terrified of closing her eyes. If she fell asleep, what would she see?

Her eyes feel onto the sleeping pill sitting on her bedside table, just as Phil said it would. That pill would prevent her from dreaming. She scrambled to the table and swallowed the pill dry. It would begin to work in a few minutes, so Vanessa shut her door, pulled off her shoes and unmade her bed. Vanessa crawled into it and curled into a ball, shutting her eyes.

.

When she awoke, it was dark outside. Something felt wrong, but Vanessa's mind was too clouded from the sleeping pill to think clearly. She rolled over and felt wetness between her thighs. Curious, she sat up and ripped her covers off. She was bathed in blood. That was too much blood to be a result of her period, so Vanessa's first thought was that maybe one of her injuries had started bleeding.

Out of the corner of her eye, Vanessa spotted a manila envelope sitting on her nightstand. It had not been there hours before. Phil had come by, he was probably still in the house, going over case files.

Vanessa reached for the envelope and tore it open. It was her medical records from the treatment she had just received. She scanned the paper, looking for anything that might tell her which of her injuries might have started bleeding. When a line caught her eye. Vanessa felt her mouth dry and her heart started racing, her palms began to sweat and she read the line again.

After receiving the results back we have found that Agent Vanessa Brown is in good health. We do however; recommend that she meet with someone in the Psyc. Department. Agent Brown has also tested positive for pregnancy.

Pregnant. She was pregnant. How? All female SHEILD agents were required to take birth control and Vanessa hadn't missed a day in years. Slowly, Vanessa looked back down to her lap and her blood stained sheets.

Slowly, realization dawned on her and Vanessa's eyes went wide with horror. Before she could stop herself, she let out a noise somewhere between a sob and a horrified scream before new tears started pouring down her face.

Phil burst into the room and his frantic eyes took in the blood, the medical file and Vanessa sobbing. He didn't say anything but instead he took Vanessa into his arms and started dragging her out of bed. It was like carrying a dead person, Vanessa had no will to even try and help him.

"No…no," she sobbed.

"Sh," Phil tried to soothe.

He knew she had been pregnant. He was probably one of the first that had been notified. Vanessa knew that news like that would immediately be sent to Fury and Fury would not hesitate in telling Phil.

"Vanessa, please."

Somehow, Vanessa got her legs working, and she allowed Phil to guide her to the bathroom across the hall. His face was full of concern and…was it pity? But Vanessa could not bear looking at him any longer. She shut and locked the door before going to turn on the shower.

With trembling hands, Vanessa started removing her clothes. She tried to avoid any part that had been touched by blood. She stared at her naked body in the mirror and was repulsed. Her eyes were read and blotchy with tears, stitches were in her thigh from when she had stabbed herself with Clint's arrow. There were various bruises and cuts all over—primarily on her stomach. Then there were the bruises around her neck from The Other and the cuts there from both Clint and The Other.

A fresh wave of repulsion coursed through Vanessa as her eyes fell on the blood; her child's blood. She looked away quickly and practically leapt into the shower. The hot water pounded her back, stinging her skin, but Vanessa didn't bother to change the temperature. Instead she hugged herself and sat down on the shower floor.

She could not have been pregnant much longer than a month. If she had known, would she have told Loki? Would she have waded into the war? She didn't know the answer to either question. She did know that if Loki was still alive, she would have been terrified of being pregnant. That would have put her job on hold, and she always feared that maybe SHEILD would take any child she might have and raise it as a weapon, just as she was. She had resolved a long time ago that she would not have kids. But now? Now things were different. That unborn child had been a piece of Loki. If she had not lost it, Vanessa would have run away and tried to raise it on her own. She would have changed her identity, anything to keep the child safe. But the baby was gone just as Loki now was. There was no getting either back, no matter how hard she wished for it.

Vanessa stood and started scrubbing her body clean, suddenly wanting to be rid of all evidence of this new wound. She suddenly wanted nothing more than to forget. To forget Loki, forget that she had just lost his child, to forget everything. She wanted to be unfeeling and mindless. Surly, that would be better?

"…There is life inside you…"

The cold, cruel voice of The Other floated across Vanessa's mind. She felt chills run through her body.

"Oh, God…" she whispered to herself, horrified.

The Other had known. He had somehow known that she had been pregnant. That was what he was referring to when he told her she had life inside. He hadn't meant that she was strong, but that Vanessa was actually carrying a life inside of her. He had pressed his hands against her stomach, not to suffocate her, but to try and squeeze the baby out.

She never wanted to feel anything ever again.

.

The next two days, Vanessa wandered around in an almost trance-like daze. She remembered meeting with Fury hours after the miscarriage to discuss her failed pregnancy. She remembered being difficult and refusing to give up information. She remembered meeting with a SHEILD therapist, but never once had she said anything. But mostly, she remembered Phil. He never left her alone in her house. He never pressed her to talk, he made sure Vanessa ate and he was her comfort.

But Vanessa had to return to Stark Tower. So, two days after, she found herself in her old room packing up the few belongings she had kept there to bring back to her house. Pepper had offered her tea, but the cup sat on the dresser, full and getting cold. It took a few minutes to pack up her few belongings and then Vanessa was out of the room, leaving the tea behind.

She wandered around, careful to avoid any areas of Stark Towers that might be playing host to the Avengers and, as of a few days ago, Steve Roger's friend, Bucky, who was now allowed to spend time with his friend now that the Avengers were no longer under lockdown.

Vanessa found herself wandering into Loki's old room. She had expected it to be left exactly as he had always left it. But the sheets had been removed from the bed and folded at the foot. His clothes had also been folded and stacked neatly on the dresser with a note on top. Breathing heavily, Vanessa went and picked up the thin sheet of paper.

Sorry I could not clear out everything on my own, Ms. Potts. This was the best I could manage. Sorry if I folded the sheets wrong. Thank you for your kindness.

-L

There were the tears again, bubbling to the surface. Vanessa blinked rapidly, trying not to think about the fact that Loki had touched this paper, and written those words. He knew he was going to his death and was doing whatever he could before hand to make things easier for those who would have to clean up after he was gone.

"Vanessa?"

She quickly wiped her eyes and turned, to find Thor standing in the doorway.

"Oh, hey, Thor," she muttered. Her voice sounded dead.

"May I speak with you a minute?"

"Oh," Vanessa glanced around the room before nodding, "sure."

Thor shut the door and then sat on the bed. He motioned for Vanessa to sit down next to him and she obliged. What would he possibly want with her?

"I was asked to give you this," Thor pulled out a small pouch from his pockets and held it out. Vanessa stared at it, shaking her head. It held the three Infinity Gems she had stolen. She had forgotten all about them.

"No," she said. "No, I don't want them. Too much power."

"It is too much of a temptation for me, Vanessa. And Loki made me promise that I hand them back over to you. You should be the keeper of these."

Her head snapped up, puzzled. "You know what these are?"

Thor nodded. "Loki let me know what he was planning a few days ago and filled me in on everything before handing over the gems to me. He wanted me to promise that you were given these back."

"Is that your—"

"Yes, now come on…"

Vanessa had overheard the last bit of that conversation Loki had with Thor. If she had been just a few minutes earlier, she could have knows what he was planning. She could have stopped him. She bowed her head, feeling like a failure.

"He wanted this," Thor said gently. "This was, to him, the only way to redeem himself."

So nodded numbly. She had lost him and she had lost the child he helped to create. What good was she?

"There is something else I must ask," Thor started carefully.

"What?"

"We are returning to Asgard on the morrow. There will be a mourning ceremony for Loki when we get back. I wanted to know if you would join us in that? You were the first person to give him a chance, he would want you there."

But would he? Would Loki really have wanted her there? Vanessa knew how Asgardians mourned. They ate and laughed; telling stories of the fallen's life. So many of those that would be in attendance would be people who cared little for Loki. So many of them did not truly know him like Vanessa had. She would hate her time there and she would be fighting to urge to not shout and scream at everyone who was there, pretending like they loved the dead Asgardian prince. She shook her head.

"I can't, Thor. I'm sorry. I just…it would be too hard."

If he was disappointed, he did not show it. "I understand. Should you change your mind, I will be with Sif and the Warriors Three outside at the top of this tower tomorrow at noon."

"Thank you," she offered softly. "I am sorry."

"Do not be sorry, I understand." He squeezed her shoulder and left the room.

She returned to her own home shortly after, taking the clothes Loki had packed so neatly. Then for the remainder of the day, Vanessa wandered from room to room as if in a trance. She would sit down or pace and Loki occupied all her thoughts. She went from guilt to grief in seconds.

Never before had Vanessa felt like she had lost everything. She had no idea how to deal with it. She had lost Loki, her Loki and hours later; she had lost their child. A child she could have loved with everything she had left. A child that she would do right by, and raise as normally as she possibly could. She would have told the child stories of its father; of how he loved a good prank, how he could be the most charming man in the room, the most deceptive and the most brave.

He had sacrificed his life so that the Earth could buy a little more time to prepare. He had fully redeemed himself but hardly anyone would ever know.

Manhattan-New York, New York

The sun was blinding. Vanessa rummaged in her bag for a pair of sunglasses while taking in her surroundings critically. She knew she was not in any danger at the moment; but Vanessa could never turn off the spy in her. She found her sunglasses and slid them on blending in completely with everyone else in New York.

Clean up in the city had been going on for a week now. Stark Industries was the face of it all, promising to help take care of all the damage done and offering the best technology to speed up the process.

There were less news vans, less government protesters, and less people laying down things for shrines of the fallen and for the mysterious Avengers. But there was still a few. Some just quietly set flowers or cards or posters down and left. But then there were others whose eyes went over the faces of the fallen with tears in their eyes. Some who turned their faces towards the sky, well aware that Earth was not alone.

But it was a small child that caught Vanessa's attention. She went to sit down on a bench a safe distance away, pulled her sketchbook from her bag, her charcoal, and flipped to a clean page. She had been drawing Loki on every page for days. Sometimes, she added her faceless child. But this living child was inspiring.

He sat on the sidewalk with his nanny, drawing with chalk. He drew the sun, flowers, and grass, anything that represented the good in the world. And so Vanessa drew him. She drew the people who were careful not to tread on him and the nanny; she drew those that had paused to watch for a moment or two. Eventually, the picture grew. The boy remained the focus, but Vanessa drew the rebuilding and the mourners all around him. That child was like a tiny beacon of hope and it was because of him that Vanessa found herself smiling for the first time in a week.

She felt empty without Loki, but maybe it would not always be that way? Maybe she would learn to live without him. Maybe she would think of him and feel happy for the time they had, instead of feeling like a bullet had torn through her heart. One day she would feel normal as she went about her daily habits. Not today, but the child gave her a small light of hope that things would get better. One day, Vanessa could feel as though Loki was all around her and not want to cry. She would instead smile, knowing that he was somehow still with her. But that was not today. Not yet.

.

There was no such thing as the Fates. Every being in the Universe was responsible for their own choices and actions. But there were a few whose lives were woven together. People who were destined to meet but their choices would be their own. Those few had a set destiny if they chose correctly.

Once, many, many years ago a goddess had made a choice that shattered the destinies of many others. She was to be the one thread that wove people together and because of her, in small indirect ways, many prophecies would come to pass. But she had taken her life and had unwoven the fabric that would have held so many together.

Eternity had wept for the Woman and for her Lover. Eternity had wept for the destinies that would now have no meaning, which would no longer come to pass. So she did what no one else could.

She defied her sister, Death.

Working quickly she wove the Woman back into time, to live again and have another chance to bring so many together. The Woman would again have the chance to be a symbol of love, of hope, of compassion and of loyalty.

The Woman was born again centuries later in a cemetery in London. She was born where the presence of Death was felt the strongest. The Woman would be tightly bound with Death from that moment on. She would live, toeing the line and she would have to make choices that either shattered her destiny forever, or put her one more step close to it.

She had come into the world quickly. Her mother hardly having time to gasp in pain, her father scrambling to find some sort of help. She had come early and had come with minor complications. Eternity had swooped down then and kissed the baby, blessing her; giving her just enough strength to live. From that moment on, the Woman's road would be hard. She would have to rely on herself to make it through. And for the first twenty-five years, she had done fairly well.

But now the Woman was losing her way.

Once again, Eternity worked to bring the woman back onto the path. She pulled a scene from across space and planted it in the Woman's dreams. Her Lover lay, broken and tormented by his own mind and hallucinations. The Titian had been most displeased by the Lover's deception and was now making him pay dearly for it. But he was alive and breathing.

The Lover could not escape the clutches of evil without help. Not without light. But he was trapped in a world where light did not extend. Any light that had ventured near the world had been put out before it could ignite everything around it. The Lover needed the Woman to find him and pull him out.

So Eternity sent these visions to the Woman in her dreams. Each one grew more terrible but they slipped away from the Woman each time she woke. Eternity grew more desperate, more determined. If the Woman never saw, the Lover would perish. He would become something more evil and twisted than the Universe had ever known.

Finally, there was a break through.

The Woman lay in bed, tormented by the vision of the Lover lying broken, near Death. Eternity pushed harder, adding her own horrors to make the Woman see. She needed to see.

"Wake up, Lady Victory."

And she did. The Woman sat up in bed, her eyes wild and haunted. She was sweating, her heart thumping madly, her body shaking with fear and grief. Tears were falling from her eyes, but she hardly noticed. There was only one thing that mattered.

"He's alive."

Þangað til næst

Author's Note

So…that's it. This story has officially been finished. I cannot thank you all enough for the support you have given me throughout this. It means so much to me! I never expected the response I have received from this. Your feedback and reactions made writing this and planning the sequel much more fun. It has truly and honestly been a delight.

I will have the title of the sequel up on my tumblr, the url is seven-devils-fiction. I expect to have the first chapter of that up sometime next month. And I am so excited to hear the response from you all when it does go up.

Please, leave a review. I want to hear from all of you who always leave one, all of you who have occasionally left one, and all of you who have never left one. I want to know your thoughts on this entire story. This has been amazing fun.

Oh, and, "Þangað til næst" means, "Until Next Time" in Icelandic.

Until next time, guys.

Cheers!