Title: Causatum
Fandom: Avengers (2012)
Characters/Parings: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark
Warnings: I don't know where I'm really going with this.
Genre: General? Just going for feels here. Tony!feeeelsss because angsttttt but not yet
Summary: The aftermath, as how I see it. An apology has never been so difficult. Notes at the end.

The first time, he calls it the big ugly building in New York. Now, looking at it closer, he isn't so sure anymore. Of course, it's looming- uncomfortably big at that, and it takes up way more space because of its startling presence. Like its owner. It demands attention. Right now, it demands attention in other ways, because the Stark tower had gone through much destructive damage from the alien invasion, courtesy of Loki. The top half is covered with metal sticks and white sheets of construction, and only the letter A is left remaining. Still, it looks pretty posh and expensive as do all the sky scrapers do in the twenty first century, and manages to do more..futuristic...-ish.

He isn't sure what to classify it anymore now that he's been staring at it restlessly for the past hour, coffee long gone in the mug in his hands.

Truthfully, it looks like a llama from this angle, but he'd keep that thought to himself.

"Sir, would you like me to clear that cup?"

Steve blinks, eyes shifting to a smiley blonde waitress. He has been sitting at a cafe opposite the Grand Central Station for a while now, and he's pretty sure he's just taking up space since his coffee is done.

"Sir?"

"Oh um," he smiles awkwardly. "Yeah, I was just about to leave—"

She giggles good naturedly, and takes his empty mug. "Are you hoping to catch a glimpse of Iron man?" she asks in conversation. "You've been staring at the tower since you came in."

Steve nods slowly. "I just..well..."

"Well, you're not the only one, sir," she says, cocking her head to another table nearby. "After all that's happened, a lot of people have been hanging about in hopes to meet him."

"I see," he answers after some thought. "Have you seen him then?"

"Oh yeah," she grins. "Before, though, not after," she elaborates quickly after that. "Tony Stark used to be quite...attention catching when he leaves his house, but as of late he's become more discreet. I wager he has a secret passageway that lets him leave unnoticed. Your trip here might be a bit of a waste, sorry about that."

"It wasn't a waste," he corrects. "I had some time off and didn't know what to do—and um, the coffee was great," he replies sincerely.

The waitress beams in return. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like, sir. Have a good day."

He responds the same as she leaves to attend to other customers. His eyes immediately travel back to the tower, and he sighs. You have to do this, Steve, he tells himself. You were wrong, and you owe him that much.

He owes Tony Stark an apology.

There hadn't been much time in the aftermath for a proper conversation. The city was in destructive chaos. Everyone had been fussed over by the medics and agents at S.H.I.E.L.D, separated to have their own checkups and treatments. By the time Steve was deemed worthy enough to get out of the clinic, he was too tired to deal with anything else, only heading straight for the room S.H.I.E.L.D had prepared for him. Come next morning, Natasha and Clint were sent to help with the reconstruction efforts, Bruce had left the headquarters, and Thor was with Loki. Tony was apparently whisked away last night because of the overwhelming pressure of things needed by his company.

There wasn't anything that Steve needed to do, so he helped out with the reconstruction efforts and met Natasha and Clint on the field from time to time. It was only when the group gathered to send Loki and Thor back to their own world that they met again as a whole group.

It was slightly strange, seeing everyone in...not a suit. Except for Tony, but his was a suit suit. Not a superhero suit. It was a short moment, merely a meet up. They exchanged greetings and too soon they witnessed a teleportation. And it was time to leave.

"Well, that was rather anti-climatic," Tony states after a two second hush of silence. "I've got a tower to renovate so chop chop big guy, before Pepper finds out that you're bunking with us now."

"I really think you should inform her," Bruce sighs, but clearly he has gotten used to Tony, because he doesn't comment on it further. "I'll get my stuff."

Bruce heads towards Natasha's and Clint's car, and that leaves Steve alone with Tony.

Tony isn't really looking at him. After all they've been through, Steve isn't really sure how he classifies himself with the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Captain America and Iron man work great on field, brilliantly, in fact, but he isn't so sure about Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. After all, all the conversations he has had with the man were bickers, until the invasion happened.

"Mr Stark," he starts, mouth slightly dry. He isn't really sure where he's going with this, and he sticks out his hand. He doesn't really know what to say, so he just blurts out whatever that comes to mind. "Good to see that you're alive."

And it's true. He hasn't seen Tony since they ate Sharwarma.

Tony stares at him underneath his sunglasses for a few hard seconds, and grasps his hand in return. "I knew you missed me, Cap," he grins.

Steve doesn't really know how to answer to that, so he just smiles in return. Just then, Bruce walks past with a bag slung over his shoulder in tow, heading towards Tony's convertible.

"Ah, well, got to jet," Tony squeezes his hand one more time before letting go, strutting to the driver's seat. "See you around, Cap."

Steve nods, and waves to Bruce in front passenger seat. "Yeah, sure." He isn't sure if Tony heard him at all, because the obnoxiously red car speeds off into the street.

A hand on his shoulder jolts him a little, and it's only Natasha. "Cap, we're heading back to the headquarters," she informs him, and Clint who is standing by their car gives a causal salute with a grin. "No, you don't need to come today—it's just a boring meeting for S.H.E.I.L.D agents."

"Alright," he answers. "Be careful," he says on habit as they both get into the car, and Clint is definitely amused at the way he waves goodbye, driving off to the main road.

He's left alone with the motorcycle he had came in with, and he mounts it. He doesn't really know what to do, so he shrugs and explores the city for the day. He passes by the Stark tower and looks at it curiously, but he doesn't linger around much. He moves on and discovers that Apple and Blackberry aren't fruits anymore.

That was a week ago, and strangely enough he finds himself passing by the Stark tower in his free time. He knows why he's doing this—it's because he feels like something between him and Tony isn't quite right. It doesn't feel like they're enemies, I mean, they aren't, but they aren't quite friends either.

Then again, he isn't quite sure if that's what he wants either.

All he knows is that he had judged Tony wrong.

Big man in a suit of armour. Take that away, and what are you?

Wrong.

I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play. To lay down on a wire to let the other guy crawl all over you.

Wrong.

Always a way out.

Wrong.

Wrong. Wrong.

He was never so wrong about anyone.

A minute more of deliberation and Steve finally stands up, smiling a bit to the waitress who served him earlier before making his way across the street. He stands outside the entrance of the Stark tower for a few moments, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer…size and intensity of the building. It's classy, full of glass and metal and the cool air that greets him when the doorman lets him in.

He feels quite out of place in his plaid shirt and khakis. It's all empty inside, except for a long walkway, quite the contrast to the busy street life outside. He wonders why so many people often walk past and stare from the outside—no one has actually entered the building despite all the curious looks, only him. There is a receptionist at the left side, and he approaches her.

"Ma'am," he greets politely. "Is Mr Stark in?"

She is a redhead with sharp cropped hair and features that remind him of Natasha. "Do you have an appointment, sir?"

"Appointment? No, I um, I just wanted to talk to him—"

"Mr Stark is unfortunately out of the country for the time being," she tells him firmly, with practiced regret that even Steve can see through. "I apologise for the inconvenience."

"When will he be back?"

"It's hard to say," she replies. "Mr Stark did not want his travel details disclosed."

It's obvious that the receptionist is trying to make him leave, but Steve is positive that Tony is in. He doesn't know why, but there's a strong feeling.

"Could I make an appointment, then?" he persists.

The redhead purses her lips, and then touches a glass screen that suddenly explodes with lines of colour. "Mr Stark's schedule is booked fully a month after which he decides to return—"

"It doesn't matter," he interrupts. "I just need to talk to him."

"Sir—"

"Please," he states, eyes unblinking. "It's…important."

She stares back for a moment, then drops a sigh. "Very well. Your name, sir?"

Steve manages not to smile too wide in victory. "Steve Rogers."

The receptionist nods as her fingers fly over the glass screen, but a second later she pauses, the images on the glass halting dramatically. "You—Are you…"

She never gets to finish the sentence, because a set of clicking heels comes down the pathway from the inside. "Sarah, add a reminder for Mr Stark for a board of director's meeting at nine thirty tomorrow—" The lady does not stop in her tracks when she notices Steve, only to let her eyes linger on him when she comes up. "Do not listen to whatever changes Mr Stark might try to make—please, for your sake and mine."

The receptionist—Sarah—nods curtly and brings up another wave of colour on the glass screen, typing furiously.

Steve watches on silently, because it's just been confirmed that Tony is definitely not out of the country.

"Captain Rogers," the new lady turns to him smiling. "It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."

"The pleasure is all mine, Ma'am," he answers carefully, shaking the hand she offers.

She giggles amused for a short moment. "I'm Virgina Potts, but Pepper is fine. I've heard a lot about you."

He doesn't know what to say to that, because he can't exactly reply the same in return. He's heard the name Pepper from Tony in fleeting mentions a few times, but it's not enough to say that he really knows who she is except Tony's girlfriend.

"So, what brings you to the Stark tower?"

"I'm looking for Mr Stark," he tells her honestly.

"Tony's up in his makeshift lab—he's been whining about the space ever since the top few floors were destroyed, but he'll live," she replies. "Come on, I'll take you to him."

Steve shoots a glance over to the receptionist who smiles at him in return, and hurries after Pepper's fast steps back into the hallway which she came from. "I'm not intruding or anything, am I?" he suddenly asks, nervous. "I mean, if Mr Stark is busy, then, I could always come another day—"

Pepper laughs, shaking her head. "If anything, your intrusion is most definitely welcome. Someone needs to get Tony out of that lab to eat, and Dr Banner is just as bad as him. Not on most days," she relents. "Fortunately enough."

They reach an elevator at the end, and the door slides open.

"Welcome back, Miss Potts," an automated British voice resounds once they step in, and Steve jerks in surprise. "Good afternoon, Captain Rogers."

He doesn't know where the sound is coming from except from all walls of the lift and it spooks him out quite a bit. "Uh, good afternoon, sir," he replies.

"That's JARVIS, an AI that Tony programmed a few years back," Pepper explains to him helpfully when she sees his reaction. "JARVIS, back to the eightieth floor if you would please. Also, please do not inform Mr Stark about our arrival."

"As you wish, Miss Potts."

Vaguely Steve notices that the elevator has no buttons at all, merely sleek metal and glass that he peers out as they ascend rapidly into the air.

"What's an AI?" he asks curiously.

"Artificial intelligence," Pepper answers him with a look on her face that tells him she realises something. "JARVIS takes cares of most things in the Stark tower, such as security and management. It's like having a butler, but in computerised form."

He kind of understands, but it's just too amazing to think that all those sci-fi books he had once read were literally alive in front of him now.

The lift halts too soon at their intended level. The door slides open, and Steve is greeted by a white frame and a glass door. Beyond the door, there is a mess of metal and robotic parts and chemicals and bottles. It seems like the room is separated into two, but the sheer amount of things lying about make it hard to tell. Sparks are visible from deeper within. Pepper touches the glass near the handle of the door in some sequence and the door pops open.

Suddenly his auditory senses are slammed with loud jamming of electric guitar and drums and it nearly deafens him permanently. Thankfully Pepper has the same sentiments.

"JARVIS, mute the music!" she shouts, cringing.

"—wha, hey! Who dares to—" there's a indignant shout from deeper, and Steve sees the visible sparks die down before Tony emerges from behind a robotic arm that clicks at him. "Pepper?" Tony blinks curiously, pushing up his goggles. "I thought you just left—"

"Yes," she cuts him off before it goes into a ramble. "I bumped into Captain Rogers at the lobby, so I brought him up."

It's almost comical how Tony flicks his gaze upon him like he can't believe it. His expression suddenly goes still, and his eyes dart back and forth between Steve and Pepper quickly. "Pepper—" he starts.

"He came to talk to you," Pepper states unmercifully. "And I have some shopping to do."

Tony looks unhappy, but at the tone of Pepper's voice he doesn't protest. "Is that all, Miss Potts?"

"That would be all, Mr Stark," she gives him a meaningful look, and turns on her heel. "I'll see you around, Captain," she smiles at Steve, patting his arm before exiting the lab.

Steve finds himself fidgeting uncomfortably, because he knows Tony doesn't want him here. Tony's body language tells him everything, and it makes the pit in his stomach clench. "Mr Stark, I—"

"You haven't been in here since hulk thrashed reindeer gates, have you?" Tony talks over him, face changing into a fake relaxed grin. "Well, Cap, my tower is about to blow your mind, because—"

"Mr Stark—"

"—I'm sure Fury keeps you in his tight little box and you haven't seen all the amazing shit like, like, holograms!" Tony gestures something in the air, and light appears at his fingertips. Despite how horribly off topic they have come, Steve can't help but be enhanced by the sheer magic of it all. "—the most useful thing I've ever invented, except maybe JARVIS—"

"I'm honoured, sir."

"—shush, no one asked for your opinion," Tony waves in the air. "Seventy years as a Capsicle must be a great shock, I mean, do you even know what a coffee maker is?"

Steve frowns. "Yes, I know what a coffee maker is—"

"But you don't know mine," Tony counters with a smug look. He swipes at some pictures that project in the air and it follows his fingers movements, and then expands a design of some machine so large that it takes up the whole space. "See here, I added a—"

"Mr Stark—"

"I think I'll just go get some…coffee," a cough interrupts, and Bruce looks distinctly awkward at one corner. He sets down a tube of chemical he was holding and rubs his hands on his pants. "Good to see you, Cap."

"Likewise, Dr Banner," Steve greets. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were in the room."

Bruce smiles at him. "It's alright. Do you want anything to drink, Captain?"

"No, no, it's fine."

"Well, I want—"

"No more for you, Tony," Bruce shoots a look at Tony before he even finishes his sentence. "You drank eight cups since this morning, and it's not even three yet."

Steve knows he must've looked horrified at the amount of caffeine Tony was ingesting.

"Pssh, I used to do twelve, until Pepper threatened to sell out my booze collection. I don't really care because I can just buy all that stuff back anyway, but Point Break gave me this bottle of mead and I swear to you it's Asgardian shit, because I—"

Bruce has already walked off for presumably coffee.

"Mr Stark!" Steve sighs, grabbing Tony by the shoulders in the attempt to get his attention.

Tony seems to snap out of it, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Mr Stark," he begins again, this time, more gently.

"Can you not call me that?" Tony interrupts before he can continue, and by god Steve wanted to bang his head against the wall.

"Call you what?"

"Mr Stark," Tony sniffs, crossing his arms. "I'm not old, unlike you old man. Only those boring geezers on my director's board call me that and that's because I'm paying them to falsify respect."

Steve ignores the jibe. "So what do you want me to call you then?"

"Master, the god of my life, my King, my Liege, your Grace—"

"Tony," Steve settles on finally. "I have to talk to you."

Tony steps back, and pretends to prod at the metal on his desk. "Yeah yeah, I gathered that when Pepper told me," he answers flippantly. "So what do you want?"

"I want to apologise."

The words were hard to say, but Steve manages to force them out before he slips into a silent cycle. He knows Tony has been avoiding the subject ever since he stepped in, and the only way is to get it out there fast and direct.

"Apology accepted," Tony shrugs. "Is that all?"

Steve stills, because that is not how he expected it would go. He opens his mouth once and closes it when no sound comes out. He must have stood there silently for quite a while because Tony actually stops in his mindless prodding to glance at him.

"You okay there, Cap?"

"…Do you even know what I'm apologising for?" Steve manages out.

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Tony answers. "You wanted to apologise, I accepted, we're cool, so hey, you wanna move in? I mean, the big guy is here already, and I've got plans to bring Legolas and killer lady in—"

This time, Steve is at the end of his fuse and he doesn't think he can take it anymore. "I'M SERIOUS, TONY!" he shouts, and the silence after that is deafening. "I'm…I'm sorry," he apologies, first for the outburst. "I'm sorry about what I said in the helicarrier. I didn't mean it—"

"Don't lie, Captain, it's not very becoming of you," Tony states, and for once, his expression is as flat as he has ever seen.

"Alright, I did mean it," Steve accedes. "But not anymore. I judged too quickly. I didn't realise—"

"Look, Cap," Tony cuts him off. "Just let me say this, okay? I don't want to talk about it. There. The only reason you're here is because you feel guilty, isn't it? You said some stuff, I said some stuff, Loki's mind control, blah blah blah, let's get over it, shall we?"

Steve swallows and then nods curtly. "I understand…I'll see you around then, Mr Stark." He turns around before he can see any reaction from Tony. "But…you were right," he murmurs softly, half way towards the exit. "I…I'm nothing without that super soldier serum and I…I'm not a hero, I'm just…" he exhales, and leaves with a final word. "Sorry."

Tony doesn't know how long he had been staring after the retreating figure until it disappears, because the next thing he's aware of is when Bruce snaps a finger in front of him, sipping a cup of coffee that he sorely wants.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Tony responds automatically, waving him away.

"I heard everything you know," Bruce continues.

"The walls are soundproofed."

"I had JARVIS stream the audio."

Tony glares at the ceiling. "Traitor!" he hisses. "And you," he points to Bruce with a screwdriver in hand. "Invasion of privacy, I'm suing your socks off."

Bruce rolls his eyes. "Why won't you let him apologise?"

"Because Captain America is a dick, that's why—"

"Tony," Bruce frowns, and pats his shoulder. "Tony, listen to me. The guy means it, okay?"

"None of my business."

"You hurt him equally well, you know."

Tony pauses. "I'm not hurt."

"He's the guy that your father—"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Tony snaps, and he knows that Bruce has made his point. "I…I'm trying so damn hard—" he breaks off before his voice edges into the cracking territory, and smoothes it into his usual manner. "Can't we just skip the whole feelings part and get to the whole hang out like buddies part?"

"Is that what you were going for?"

"It wasn't working?'

"No, it wasn't."

"Oh. Oh well then."

A/N: I always felt there was a distinct lack of closure between Steve and Tony in the movie. The handshake was nice, but it didn't really solve anything. Both of them had cut each other so deep with their words in the helicarrier, fishing out points that they both were keeping inside, and also that moment when Steve gave the order to close the portal- I do not believe that Steve would not blame himself as a cause of Tony's possible death.

Just an exploration with how they can work out their dynamic and become BFFs in the process.

I struggle with writing Bruce.