Right, so this is my first time attempting to write a Sterek fic and I don't know how it's going to turn out and I know I have stuff to focus on with Shameless, but I just can't get Teen Wolf out my head. Please R&R and tell me what you think. . . even if it's just to tell me to stick to Shameless :D enjoy. . .

Stiles tried to wipe the memory out of his head. Normally a person would have given up trying by then, it had been nine years and he had essentially moved on, but the memory still haunted him. He was twenty five, he wasn't the hyperactive teen anymore who everyone thought had a screw loose upstairs or something. He wasn't that person anymore. . . or at least he wasn't the majority of the time. He'd admit that he still babbled when he got nervous.

The only problem that he had was that he couldn't help but remember that moment when he had felt like his world was falling from underneath his feet at the most inconvenient times. As in, when he was in bed with someone sort of inconvenient time, or in the middle of an important meeting sort of inconvenient time. You know, just one of those times that really wasn't a good moment to zone out and think of something completely off topic and irrelevant. And more to the point, something painful.

Because that memory was painful, it was more painful that Stiles would ever admit. Even though he had admitted it, several times in fact. His new family, his new Pack had heard all about it. They'd even voiced their displeasure and anger at what had been said. Then again, he supposed that was the point, he couldn't really say new if he'd never had an old in the first place. He hadn't ever really been able to say he'd had a family since his mum had died, because really, having just his Dad didn't qualify as a family. Not in his mind anyway. And as had been said to him in probably the harshest way, he didn't have a Pack either.

"You think you're something to them, to any of them, but you're not, you're just a stupid little human that's allowed to stick around."

Stiles shook himself out of his own head before he crashed the car he was driving. It was weird being in the silence, weird being on his own because he hadn't been alone like this for years. Not for about eight and a half of them in fact. His life had become so full, full of people, full of energy, full of life. It was amazing, it was Pack.

At the beginning he'd used to think that the moments when he was alone were a luxury, moments when he just had time to stop and think, moments like those. But he didn't think that anymore. The silence weighed down on him, threatened to choke him under its weight and he'd futilely attempted to drown out the silence with white noise, with meaningless sounds. He had the radio cranked so high he thought his eardrums were about to burst, but it was still too quiet. He didn't know how that made sense.

His only saving thought was that he was almost five hours into his six hour drive back to Beacon Hills. It was his Dad's birthday and he felt bad about making him come up to visit all the time so that was exactly why he'd agreed to come down this time. Not that the fact he had willingly agreed made him feel any better. He felt sick and he supposed that was probably because he hadn't been back to Beacon Hills even once since he'd left.

Right on cue the music he was listening to cut off and his cell phone started ringing through the radio. He missed his jeep a little admittedly, but he loved his new car. All the fancy little gadgets and add-ons to it made him smile, brought out the teenager in him again that was so easily amused. It was things like the built in speaker phone that were the most useful though.

"Hey," he said as he picked up, blindly reaching for his phone where it was sitting on the passenger seat.

"Hiya," one of his Packmates and honestly his new – had been for eight years now so maybe it's not really all that new of an appointment – best friend Maggie was the one on the other end of the line, but he could hear others in the background. He honestly wasn't all that surprised. "Just checking you haven't freaked out and turned around yet," she said and the laughter was evident in her voice.

He pulled a face at the radio, even though he knew she couldn't see it. "I don't know what you're talking about," he replied indignantly, "I'm perfectly fine."

Maggie laughed and in his mind's eye he could see her head tipping back and her blue eyes shining. "Liar," she chuckled, "You sound like you're about to have a breakdown."

"Or shit a brick," someone put in, their voice loud enough that they must have been right next to Maggie. If Stiles had to hazard a guess, he'd say it had been Lucas.

"Hit him for me," Stiles said, smiling, that smile turning into a grin when he heard Lucas yelp, "And I'm fine, seriously, it's about time I went back and I'll just deal with it, it's not like anything particularly bad's going to happen, I mean I probably won't even leave the house. I'll just spend time with my Dad you know, so it's not even going to be anything close to a big deal. I'm fine, because this is going to be fine."

"If it's going to be fine sweetie you need to breathe," Maggie said and the sympathy in her voice was practically overwhelming.

Stiles gripped the steering wheel a little harder than was necessary, feeling the wolf inside of him start to bubble up in response to his nerves. He hated that just the simple act of thinking about returning to Beacon Hills had him on edge. And it wasn't just that he was going back, it was that he was going back a werewolf. He'd accepted the bite not long after he'd left and met Maggie and her Pack. He'd wanted to be included, he'd wanted a family, a Pack and as far as he was concerned that meant he had to be a werewolf. They'd told him afterwards that they would have accepted him and loved him just as much had he been human, they even said he'd probably still be the leading Beta, but Stiles couldn't help having his doubts.

"It'll be fine," he repeated for his own benefit and inside of his chest his wolf was whining, wanting the closeness of its Pack. He knew he shouldn't really be venturing into Derek's territory without ringing first, but he was only staying for two weeks and he figured that if he stayed in town, that was neutral ground and they probably wouldn't even notice.

"You want us to swing by on our way back home?" his Alpha, Rory asked, which let him know that Maggie had put him on speaker in the car. He didn't mind.

They were all driving down to visit another Pack for the a week while Stiles was away, figuring they might as well kill two birds with one stone. They were only a small Pack, with there just being fourteen of them, but Stiles had always thought it was a good number. Some Packs they'd crossed paths with over the years had been massive, almost too big and Stiles thought it removed some of the closeness, he thought it made it feel less like family.

And his Pack was family. They were all outcasts and misfits, some had been kicked out from other Packs, others had been bitten or had just willingly switched. But it worked. It definitely worked.

"Please," Stiles said and it would have been an admittance, it would have been a sign of weakness if this hadn't been his Pack. But it wasn't. It wasn't embarrassing to admit he needed them, not at all, because this was what they were there for. They were there to love him, to accept him, to cherish him, just like he was there to do the same for each and every one of them.

"You can text us directions later on in the week," Rory said and Stiles knew he was smiling, because Rory was always smiling. He was so unlike Derek that it was unreal. He was so different that it made Stiles have to pause to catch his breath. Rory was sweet and kind and gentle, he loved each and every one of them unashamedly. He had no problems showing affection or speaking it and he made it clear he would defend each of them to the death.

"I already have the address written down actually," Lucy, their Alpha Female, quite literally the other half of Rory's soul put in. She was tiny, tiny voice and tiny body, but she could be scary when she wanted to be and Stiles never ever wanted to take her on in a fight. She was sweet and kind, but ferocious. She kept the rowdier ones of them in line with nothing but a glare and yet they all loved her even while she was yelling at them.

She was the closest thing Stiles had ever had to a mother, which was stupid considering she was only about ten years older than him.

They talked about pointless things after that and sometimes Stiles wasn't even the one that was spoken to. Sometimes it was just noise, so many conversations going on at once that he couldn't tell who was who over the phone. And yet, he wasn't on the edge of it. Even being miles away, even while on the phone and not actually with them, he was included. It was like he was there. He laughed along with the jokes that were made, pulled faces at some comments and felt his heart ache at others. This was Pack. This was family. This was perfection.

There was so much noise that it was impossible for it to be silent and it was impossible for Stiles to even think about feeling nervous anymore, because he had his Pack to focus on. And he knew, he knew that this was why they were staying on the line. He knew that this was their way of helping him, of comforting him even if they couldn't do so in the usual way – puppy piles that ended up turning into a human version of a mind puzzle as they all tried to work out which limbs belonged to who and how the hell they were going to get untangled.

"Guys I have to go," he said regretfully as he pulled into his Dad's driveway, his old driveway, but he hadn't thought of this place as home in a long time. He hadn't even registered the moment that he'd pulled into Beacon Hills, he'd just driven, focussed on the Pack.

He saw his Dad at the door, walking out to greet him and he knew that he could hear the noise that was the Pack collectively groaning and trying to shout encouragement and goodbyes at him all at once. Stiles laughed, his head hitting the headrest of his seat as he took off his sunglasses and put them on the passenger seat. He waved at his Dad, smiling as he leant against his open window.

In the end, Maggie had to take him off speaker so that he could make any sense of what was going on. "I'll talk to you later Stiles," she said and he could still hear people shouting things in the background, "Be safe and don't forget to breathe."

He laughed at the same time as he rolled his eyes. "I won't," he promised, "Have fun stuck in the car for a few more hours."

He just knew that she was pulling a face. "Say Happy Birthday to your Dad from all of us by the way," Maggie said and Stiles could feel his Dad's happiness practically radiating out of him. He could smell it. His Dad loved the Pack as much as he did, even if he didn't know that that was what they were. He loved that Stiles had a family, that he was included now in something. That and it was impossible not to love Maggie, she was infectious.

"Thanks Mags," the Sheriff said and Stiles groaned inwardly because all of a sudden everyone was shouting again to try and say Happy Birthday to his Dad personally. Out loud though, he just laughed and five minutes later managed to hang up at the phone.

Looking at his Dad, he grinned despite the nervousness bubbling up inside of him again. "Hi," he breathed out finally and the look of uncontained joy was enough to make Stiles think that maybe he'd made the right decision coming back here after all.