That evening, Kaoru couldn't sleep so she got up, leaned on a tree and placed the wrapped canvas on her lap. With delicate fingers, she slid the white linen covering the painting as she stared at the painting with tear-filled eyes. Good luck Ryuuzaburo! Wherever you may go. I hope you find what you are searching for. I'll miss you for sure. Although, I am not really fond of your farewell present, I really liked having you around. At least, I felt appreciated.
For the first time since Kenshin came back from his fight with Shishio, Kaoru allowed her tears to fall. She had always kept a happy and cheerful demeanor… even if Yahiko incessantly told her that she was ugly and nobody would like her, even if Misao told her that it didn't deemed her that Kenshin would take interest in just any woman, which meant her, and even if Kenshin had blatantly ignored her feelings and laughed at her in her face but…
…a heart could only take too much.
No matter how shallow it might have seemed, everyone needed to feel appreciated. Whether for the looks, grace, personality or deed, people needed to be appreciated even with the smallest gesture.
And that time, Kaoru didn't feel it.
She didn't know why she was feeling sensitive at that time but she was truly hurting inside. She took in everything with a smile from the moment nobody could believe that she was the beauty Ryuuzaburo was talking about to the time all her friends laughed at her image.
Did they really found the fact that somebody liked her humorous? Or did they think that Ryuuzaburo was crazy for feeling that way?
Deep inside her, she knew that they were just good-natured, even brotherly, teasing but when she saw Kenshin, clutching his stomach, unable to breathe because of the laughter, her heart ripped a little more.
Kaoru's silent sobs didn't passed by unnoticed. Kenshin approached her, sat beside her and asked, "Kaoru-dono, what are you doing late this hour?"
"Nothing," she faltered, shoving the canvas to her side. Swallowing hard to contain her voice and tears, she replied, "I can't sleep. How about you?"
"I am a light sleeper."
"Oh…" she looked down, aware that Kenshin had heard her cry.
"Is that the painting student-dono gave you as a gift?" Kenshin asked, pointing at her side.
"Uh-huh…" she nodded, shifting uncomfortably.
Hurt…
That was the expression Kenshin saw in her eyes. It pierced his heart but he can't do anything but ask, "Kaoru-dono, are you alright?"
"Uh-huh."
Kenshin sat on her other side, holding the painting with his hands. Glancing at her worriedly, he asked, "Is this the reason why you are upset?"
"What do you care!?"
Kenshin stared at her wide-eyed, surprised at her sudden brush off.
Kaoru met his inquiring eyes and frowned, "Kenshin, did you really find my image so abhorrent that you had to laughed at it in my face? I would have expected it from Sano, Yahiko, heck even Misao, but you?"
"Kaoru-dono…"
"…I know I am not beautiful nor refined but did you have to shove it in my face so rudely?"
"Wait, Kaoru-dono. You misunderstood me."
"Really?" she raised an eyebrow, her tone raising up to control her threatening tears. "Then explain."
"I wasn't laughing at you," he began his explanation, looking straight in her eyes. "That painting is nothing like the woman in front of me. Not equal in beauty nor in silent appeal. I would prefer the real thing than this dispensable reproduction any given day."
Kaoru's eyes soften at his simple yet sincere words.
Just then, he chuckled, "Well, of course, the painting wouldn't whack me with a bokken but …I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Oh, Kenshin," she smiled. "You really think so or are you just saying that to pacify me?"
"Would I lie to you?"
"No, you won't and…" she replied, shaking her head. "I trust you."
"Good," he nodded as he stood up and laid in his previous position.
"What are you doing?" Kaoru inquired, following him close behind.
"Gazing at the stars."
"Can I join you?"
"Of course."
With that, she laid down beside him, admiring the stars. "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
"Yes, when was still a rurouni, I used to gaze up at stars at night."
"Did you enjoy it?" she asked, turning her head to glance at him.
"Not really."
"Why?"
Meeting her sparkling eyes, he solemnly replied, "Because I was alone."
"Oh…" Her face fell, knowing how painful it felt to be alone.
Seeing her forlorn expression, Kenshin smiled, "I am not alone now, am I?"
"No, you're not," Kaoru shook her head, smiling back.
"You know what? I used to connect the stars with my imagination."
"Really? How?"
"Alright," he nodded. Kenshin squinted his eyes as he looked at the evening sky. "Hmmm… Let's see…"
Kaoru waited patiently, trying to make an image herself.
"There, looks like a paper crane!" he exclaimed.
"Where?"
"There?"
"I can't see," she pouted.
Kenshin leaned his head on her right shoulder and said, "Give me your hand."
Kaoru blushed furiously at the contact as she gave him her right hand.
Kenshin took it with his right hand, raising it to the sky. He flickered her finger up, tracing the outline of the said paper crane. When he had finished, he turned to her and smiled, "There. Did you see it?"
"Oh, yeah," her mouth opened in awe. "That's really beautiful" Kaoru roamed her eyes around the sky, took Kenshin's hand and pointed, ". …That one looks like a parasol."
"You're right!! You are good at this!"
Kaoru shrugged, giggling in excitement.
Kenshin lifted his head from her shoulders and whispered, "That one looks like a smile of a goddess."
"Where?"
"Here," he replied, caressing her cheeks tenderly.
Kaoru blushed a deep shade of red as she locked her eyes with his. Feeling her blush deepening with each passing second, she decided to hide it by leaning her head on his chest.
Kaoru smiled inwardly, knowing that Kenshin appreciated the true 'Smile of the Goddess'.
Hours passed and the couple fell asleep in each other's arms.
Well, that's how Misao, Sano and Yahiko found them the next morning, that is.
Author's Notes:
The fic is entitled 'Smile of a Goddess' because, that is the title of Ryuuzaburo's painting.
I know, Kaoru really seemed shallow but actually, I don't think so. I had just watched the VCD earlier today. I didn't notice it then but I felt that they didn't show Kaoru's true feelings. That eppy was supposed to be a comic relief from the continuous fight scenes so I really didn't expect Kaoru to be all angsty or dramatic. The thing I found missing there was her reaction. Surely, Kaoru is confident that she is beautiful, charming, etc. etc, but I think it would still hurt that her friends would tactlessly tell her that she is not [not once, might I add]. Some of their insults were just jokes but initial reactions are usually instinctive. The way all of them were so surprised that Kaoru was the beauty Ryuuzaburo was talking about. I mean, the thought isn't so farfetched but they made it seem so, right? The part where Kaoru yearned for Kenshin's affection was also showed but in a humorous way by making her SD. She yearned for his affection… that he may also see her as Ryuuzaburo saw her, as a beautiful woman he wanted to give his love. I know that Kaoru wasn't really expecting Kenshin to proclaim his love as Ryuuzaburo did but when Kenshin laughed at her [although, it was just an image, it still represented her therefore, it is her in a way], I thought that it would be enough to sadden her. Since it is just a misunderstanding, I figured that I shouldn't make their 'making up' scene to dramatic… this is a waffy fic after all and that is my point of writing it. Well, aside from the issue I had just brought up.
**To make the long story short…** Kaoru was sad because she thought Kenshin didn't appreciate her image, when in fact he appreciated the real thing that is …her.
Whew! Such a long explanation! I am not saying that this is the real deal, I know that some people might disagree on what I had just said but I was just telling you my opinion and point-of-view. That was how I saw the situation. If you don't feel the same way, I respect your views, please respect mine. I just wanted to expound Kaoru's reactions in a way I thought how she would feel. ^__^
Reviews, comments, constructive criticisms are welcome!!
Special thanks to Hana-chan for pre-reading… Chris, this is for you… if I would have another sister, I'd want it to be you. You are such a great friend! Happy ^_^ you know, to us both! ^_~
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