Notes: Title shamelessly stolen from Imogen Heap. There will be no "in-game" scenes, meaning I'm not rescripting something you've already played. Please feel free to leave reviews, comments, suggestions, etc. It's my first time writing a fanfic, so let me know what I need to improve!

Kaidan watched Shepard disappear as they flew away, to safety, retreating. The stupid tank... if he'd been faster, Shepard wouldn't have sent him away. Kaidan had sworn to be there with him, right up until the end, and now...

No. It's not the end. He said he'd be waiting for me. I have to trust him.

Just because they were evacuating didn't mean they were out of trouble, though. The Normandy's stealth drive was active, as it had been for much of the last couple of months, but Joker was bobbing and weaving the ship through the battle raging above Earth. He had to get up to the Bridge. Kaidan was in charge now.

Dr Michele was there in the shuttle bay, and he waved off more than some medi-gel. He felt better instantly and continued on his march towards the Bridge, doing his best to shrug off the hurt and also avoid James's gaze. Vega had been with them in that final push. Cortez met them at the elevator doors. He clapped Kaidan on the shoulder, but said nothing. Their eyes met, and Kaidan knew he was looking at the one man who understood how he felt.

"It's not over yet," Cortez said with genuine hope.

Kaidan smiled appreciatively, and the elevator doors closed. He took a deep steadying breath, and ordered the elevator to the crew deck.

#

The doors opened and they spilled in to the CIC, Traynor shooting them a look of contained panic. She shouted something about an energy surge coming from the Citadel that had knocked out all the Reaper signals, their ships (ships? Bodies?) were now hanging dead in space. This surge wave was headed outward, and Hackett was ordering all ships to the rendezvous point.

Kaidan and Vega ran straight for the bridge, bumping into Garrus who was leaving. Joker and EDI were frantically trying to get to the mass relay beyond Pluto before the wave hit them. The ship was going at FTL speeds, but they still had to get past Earth. Suddenly, they all felt a lurch, and EDI's slumped in her seat.

"EDI?" Joker cried out, not slowing his fingers one bit, but glancing her way. There was no response from the AI or her mobile platform, though, and Kaidan had another sinking feeling.

"We'll get her up and running, Joker, just get us out of here!"

Then the ripping sounds started. Kaidan exchanged glances with Vega, and the lieutenant headed back to the CIC, shouting for everyone to find a seat near the evac pods, the ship was going down.

Joker managed to keep control of the ship, though Kaidan didn't know how. The engine core had shut down, leaving them only maneuvering thrusters. The alarms were blaring with hull breaches, and they saw they weren't the only ship in trouble. Kaidan saw they were headed right for Earth, their velocity increasing as they got closer. Kaidan took that moment to strap into the seat behind EDI.

#

The landing was not soft, but Kaidan still walked away without a scratch. Though Joker didn't have anything broken (a miracle, really), he was distraught that he couldn't get any response from EDI. There'd been too much damage to the ship, Kaidan was sure it was going to take teams of engineers and programmers to get not just the ship up and running again, but EDI as well. The body was one thing, but her core? If they got a new ship, could she even be moved?

Kaidan put all this out of his mind as he and Garrus worked on getting the airlock hatches open. With no power, whoever wasn't in the CIC was trapped, with no life support beyond the air already in the compartment and any enviro suits they could find. They had to get started with rescue work. With one final push, the hatch opened onto a beautiful rain forest. What with the destruction he'd seen in Vancouver and then again in London, Kaidan had quite forgotten there were places left like this, wild and unsullied.

Joker walked out into the fresh air and took a deep breath. Kaidan followed him, somewhat still stunned, Garrus right behind him. The rest of the main squad followed, Tali, then James, Traynor, and Javik. All of them had been picked up at some point, returned to the ship before Kaidan and James. Kaiden was somewhat surprised when Tali embraced Garrus, he hadn't known they were together. They pulled apart, and held each other's hand. Life goes on, he thought to himself, though the sight caused an ache in the middle of his chest.

He turned to Traynor. "Sam, any idea what happened?"

She shook her head, a puzzled expression on her face. "Just after we picked you up, there were reports of a massive energy-neutral pulse sent out from the Citadel, which grew outward to encompass the Reaper forces and Earth, and then it looked like it traveled outward, shockwave style, toward the mass relay. That's when we got caught in it, and everything went dead except for emergency backups."

He knew he didn't want to know the answer to the question, but he asked anyway. "The Citadel? Shepard?"

She didn't want to answer, but she did anyway, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Major, but the Citadel blew as the shockwave started. There was... no word from the Commander before we lost contact."

Kaidan sat down, hard. His gaze was lost, looking out into the rain forest, but not at it. He felt strong, three-fingered hands on his arms, and vaguely heard some sound, but it held no meaning. Nathan.