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5

I shouldn't be here, Sasuke reflects dimly. I really shouldn't.

He's an interloper, and outsider, a drop-off mistake; the FedEx man had left the wrong package. His roommate is a fourteen-year-old anorexic boy named Suigetsu – and as if that wasn't sad enough, the kid had latched onto Sasuke the minute he'd arrived.

"Dinner's in thirty minutes," the boy says, watching Sasuke from his perch on his cot. Between the way he's sitting and scratching his wrists and the too-big, too-bright eyes, Sasuke thinks he looks like a cat.

Sasuke makes a noncommittal noise in response. The room is nearly Spartan, with white linoleum floors and baby blue walls. There are two cots, a dresser, a night stand, and a shelf. Two of the four dresser drawers are Sasuke's; the other two are Suigetsu's. On the shelf lay a King James Bible, the third Harry Potter book, and The Hobbit.

Looking at Suigetsu, Sasuke somehow doubts that they're his.

Sasuke knows that he isn't confined to his room but he doesn't want to go out. He doesn't want to play nice and make friends with the other fuck-ups and leftovers, he doesn't want to play big brother to a kid barely through puberty, and he doesn't want to be here.

There's a sharp knock on the door. Suigetsu adjusts his hoodie sleeves just as the door is opened.

Sasuke looks up. In the doorway is a girl with unnaturally bright red hair and thick-rimmed glasses. She glances at Sasuke and says to Suigetsu, "This your new roomie?"

Suigetsu nods, hops off of his perch. "Sasuke, meet Karin."

"Welcome to the nuthouse, Uchihia."

And Sasuke just wants to die.

Karin goes to his school.

It's as if the girl can sense his mortification. "Never pinned you for a psycho. So, whatcha in for? Starvation? Anger management? Observation?"

"Karin…" this is from Suigetsu, who appears uncomfortable with the situation.

"Oh, hush. I want to know what the mighty Uchiha is doing in a fucking clinic." She tilts her head, crosses her arms and squints at him. "I wouldn't peg you for a cutter. Or a starver. Maybe depression? One of those out-of-the-blue suicide cases? Addiction?"

Sasuke cannot remember a single incident in his life where he wanted to hit a girl more. Before he can respond, however, Suigetsu comes to his defense.

"Shut your whore mouth!"

The kid looks fucking distressed, eyes wide and thin chest heaving. Karin gives him a lazy look and smirks, opens her mouth to say something, but then an aide walks by and ushers her away, returning seconds later to give Suigetsu a sympathetic look. "I'll handle her. You two go down to dinner."

Sasuke turns his gaze over to Suigetsu. He seems calmed down, but he's biting his lip and rubbing the inside of his arm. He catches Sasuke looking and says, "She's not that bad, usually. I think they changed her meds."

Sasuke nods, like he understands, and wordlessly follows the boy down to the mess hall.

What. The fuck. Just happened.

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Meals, Sasuke found out, were mandatory. The staff didn't really care where you sat – unless you were in for an eating disorder, then you had to sit on the end so they could monitor how much food you threw away – as long as the boys were on one side of the table and the girls were on the other.

Yeah, Sasuke thought. Because I'm totally gonna feel up a girl in a fucking mental hospital. Get real.

He had fully planned on eating alone, but as it were that was impossible – nearly every table was at least halfway full and – surprise, surprise – Suigetsu more or less herded him towards a less-full table. Sasuke made no move to disagree, setting his tray down and sitting next to Suigetsu. On the other side of Suigetsu was a ginger kid built like a frigging tank; no one sat next to him.

Across from them sat a small girl with dyed red hair, an extremely androgynous – girl? Sasuke was assuming – andKarin, who upon seeing the extremely androgynous – boy? Girl? – rolled her eyes and said, "Sakon. Other. Side."

A collective groan went up at the table – the girl next to Karin rolled her eyes and Suigetsu muttered, "Can we just drop it, you two?"

The androgynous – boy? – gave a smirk. "But I'm just feeling so feminine today, Karin, you know how that goes…"

"But the fact is, you have a dick. Other. Side." She narrowed her eyes. Sakon – okay, so he was a dude – smirked but shifted, sliding his plate across the table and sitting next to Sasuke.

Fantuckingtastic. The bossiest girl in school and some fucking fag. Awesome.

"Can you two just hook up and be done with it already?" the other girl said, stabbing her plastic spoon into her mashed potatoes with more force than necessary.

Next to Sasuke, Sakon smirked. His lips were painted a weird shade of blue, eyes lined with black eyeliner, pale bangs flopping over his face just so – seriously, are you trying to perpetuate stereotypes, or…?

Because really, how gay could you get?

"What, the sexual tension making you feel uncomfortable, Tayuya?" he crooned, leering.

"That, and you two have the sickest way of flirting. It's annoying." This came from the muscular ginger to Suietsu's right. "Fucking Christ, the food here is gross."

"The potatoes aren't that bad," Suigetsu said, eyeing his plate, "But the soup is questionable."

"I swear, I've lost like, ten pounds since I came here." The not-Karin girl – Tayuya? – said, a bit bitterly. "Not that I'll be wearing a bikini anytime soon but, hey – sweet diet."

"There is scar removal cream, you know," Sakon said, not unkindly. "And, you know, surgeries and stuff."

Tayuya looked doubtful. "Yeah…"

Sasuke tried his best not to pay attention, instead focusing on the semitoxic food. Suigetsu was right about the soup being horrible, the mashed potatoes being okay, but really the only thing Sasuke trusted was the packaged saltine crackers.

Karin snapped her fingers in front of him. "Heyo. Earth-to-Uchihia. Come in."

Sasuke looked up and scowled. "What?"

"So it speaks," Karin remarked mildly. "We were just saying –what're ya in for?"

"Standard meet-and-greet procedure," Sakon added. "Everyone else has ASL, we have, well…" he made a gesture with his hands, then made air-quotes. "'Issues.''"

Suigetsu looked uncomfortable. "Guys, he's gonna find out sooner or later, and he just got here, why –"

Karin leveled him with a look. "Because. I know him from school. And Sasuke Uchiha is not someone you'd peg to wind up here."

Sasuke's clenched his jaw. "And why are you here Karin, hmmm?"

"They think I'm bipolar. First round of meds made me craaazy." She said it so flippantly, so easily, that it made Sasuke want to punch her. "Jugo's got anger management issues," she said, pointing to the ginger kid. "Suigetsu's thyroid makes his levels outta whack. Tayuya and Sakon – well, I'm sure you can piece that together."

"My therapist likes to call it "reckless behavior,"" Sakon offered with a not-so-nice-smile.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and his thumb. "Alcoholism," he settled on. The word tasted funny in his mouth. "They want me to detox."

"Ah, but the question is," Sakon said in an overly grandiose voice, "Do you want to detox?"

Maybe it was a mental patient thing, because everyone else at the table – minus Suigetsu – laughed. Sasuke made no comment, instead focusing on eating his crackers.

Suddenly Suigetsu stood and put his tray on the conveyer belt that took the unused dishes and trash back to the kitchen then stalked out the door. He seemed pissed – over what exactly, Sasuke wasn't sure – but he wasn't going to get into it. It wasn't his business.

Keep your head low, go along with the program, and get out of here.

Karin was snapping her fingers in front of his face again. "What?" he snapped, glaring at her.

"I said," she told with great suffrage, "We're headed to the rec room to play some extreme poker before showers. You in?"

Sasuke shrugged, suddenly more concerned about what "showers" entailed but not for the life of him about to ask.

Instead he said, "What about Suigetsu?"

Which, really, wasn't much of an improvement.

Sakon looked like he was about to speak, but Karin beat him to it. "Like I said, his thyroid's outta whack. Makes him pissy – a lot. He sticks around when he wants to – just leave him alone."

As they got up to put their trays away, Jugo lingered behind with Sasuke. He was tall – taller than Sasuke and maybe thirty pounds heavier. "Do I know you? From somewhere?"

Sasuke didn't respond because yes, yes he did. Jugo was from Oto, the prep school one city over – he and Sasuke had played for the same club soccer team in middle school. (And Sasuke still recognized him at the high school games, but he wasn't about to say that because what sort of freak recognized people from middle school soccer teams?)

"I don't think so," he settled on.

Jugo mhmed and went to catch up with Tayuya.

Sasuke trailed a bit behind them as he followed them to the rec room. Hanging with them, he figured, was better than returning to his room to sit and mope with Suigetsu.

This. Is going. To suck.

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Friday morning at 10:16, Sakura receives a phone call.

"Hey," a slightly scratchy voice says on the other line. "Didja miss me?"

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Extreme Poker spanned across the Monopoly, Parcheesi, and Battleship game boards, required two decks of cards, and a lot of "be as fucking random as possible."

Sakon had advised him to "sit out a few minutes" so he could get the gist of the game. Ten minutes later all he could get was what the fuuuuck?!

The rules were the bastard lovechild of the rules of all the games; Jugo got himself five aces, placed them down with a smug expression on his face; Karin, as the banker, handed him 500 in Monopoly money and the Boardwalk property. When Tayuya rolled doubles, Sakon cried out, "Bitch! You just sunk my battleship!" and Karin was very, very displeased that her Monopoly piece (Sasuke thought it was the dog, but he wasn't positive) got swapped with her Parcheesi piece when Sakon's piece got sent to jail, - apparently somehow that meant you couldn't win either of the games? – and Sasuke was still very, very confused.

"Well, Sasuke," Sakon sang, shaking three dice in his hand "You ready?"

He rolled; two twos and a three. "Not bad," Karin remarked. "Now draw five cards."

Sasuke did as instructed, drawing two queens of hearts, a two of clubs, three of spades, and ten of diamonds. "Uhhh…"

Sakon peered at his hand. "Two red queens. Congrats, you have the red properties – and, aw, fuck, Karin's Parcheesi pieces are red, aren't they?"

Apparently that meant that her Parcheesi piece could go back to the Parcheesi board and move three spaces forward.

Ookay….

It continued in that way; Sasuke really didn't get a hang of it until about an hour in, but by then they were told it was fifteen minutes to lights-out.

Karin swore under her breath as she gathered the battleship pieces. "I wanted to take a shower tonight."

"You really need to do something about your hair," Sakon agreed. This earned him a faceful of plastic ships, courtesy of Karin. He only laughed, gathering the Monopoly money. To Sasuke, he said, "So, how's your first day at the nuthouse going?"

"I dunno," Sasuke said, folding the Monopoly board. "Nutty."

Sakon chuckled, flicking his hair out of his face. "Wiseass. I like you."

"Sakon, stop flirting," Karin said, taking the Monopoly board from Sasuke and putting it back in the box. To Sasuke, she said, "Hey – you're sitting with us tomorrow, right? This weirdo," by that Sasuke assumed she meant Sakon," Notwithstanding."

"Getting awfully feisty, aren't we, Karin?" Sakon commented, smirking. He stage-whispered to Sasuke, "I think she wants your dick."

Tayuya absolutely lost it at that, falling to the floor in a fit of giggles. Jugo spluttered, clutching his sides. Sasuke even found himself half-smiling a little at that. Sakon was pretty funny.

You know, for a fag.

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Everything hurt.

When Naruto had awoken he'd been stuck with so many needles and tubes that he could hardly move. Two hours later most of the needles and tubes were gone, replaced with an impossible amount of pain. An hour late the morphine was starting to kick in – finally, Jiraiya explained what had happened: a car crash, some guy doped up on smack, Sasuke was injured too but not nearly as bad as Naruto, meanwhile Sakura had been practically living in the hospital…

"Sakura!" he said – a little too forcefully, it hurt his everything – and winced. Then, softer, "Can she come? Can I see her?"

Jiraiya cast a glance at the doctor, who shrugged. "Up to you. His vitals are stable – just nothing too stimulating, and for a half hour. He still has a concussion."

HE can her you, you know, Naruto thought, but didn't say anything. Hot fuck, what had he done to his ribs? If hurt if he breathed the wrong way.

Fuckin' car crash…

Car…

"Shit!" he yelled, then "Shit!" again when the pain hit. Wisely, he didn't yell a third time, face screwed in pain.

Jiraiya gave him a look. "Yes?"

"My car. What the hell happened to my car? Where is it – what have you done with my baby?"

Ow. Owowowowowow. But this. This was important.

Jiraiya cleared his throat. "Funny thing about car crashes. The car sort of, y'know, gets crashed."

1974 Mustang V6 Coupe. They didn't fucking make those anymore. Hell, the only reason Naruto had it was because the geezer he worked did manual labor for (for the better part of his teenage life) passed away, knew no one else who would want an old Mustang, and was feeling generous when he wrote his will.

"We are getting it fixed, right?"

"I've been more concerned with getting you fixed," Jiraiya remarked dryly, muttering to himself, "Maybe I should've left you in the coma…"

Naruto rolled his eyes, but smiled inwardly – if Jiraiya could joke about it, it would be okay.

Momentarily putting aside his resentment over the car (his baby!) he took the phone that Jiraiya handed him, not his own, he noticed – that had probably gotten destroyed in the car crash - and called Sakura.

"Hi!" she chirped, maybe a bit-too-brightly.

Naruto smiled. "Hey," he said. "Didja miss me?"

He held the phone away from his ear at the resulting "OHMYGOD!"

His grin was hurting his face at this point; Sakura started babbling, with, "Oh god, okay, stay up, I'm coming down like, now, are you okay, well, okay duh, you just woke up from a coma but oh my god! Naruto!"

"Me," he agreed, letting out a sigh of contentment. (Ooooowww.)

"Okay. Give me like, twenty minutes. If I hurry I can catch the bus – okay, yeah. I'll see ya!"

"See ya," he said, but she'd already hung up.

He put the phone on the bedside table. Jiraiya was talking to the doctor. Naruto shut his eyes. The morphine was taking effect; it was almost like there was a fog in his head. He could operate fine, but it was slower, lagging – kind of like being buzzed.

Sasuke, he thought. Sasuke was drunk. I was driving. Then –

Well, not much. He didn't really remember anything after the whole "No-you're-drunk-I'm-driving" fight. He'd won it, though – like fuck he was letting Sasuke drive his baby, let alone drunk.

Dimly, he wondered where Sasuke was. Probably in the same hospital, right? Or home, on bed rest – he'd gotten beaten up pretty badly, from what Naruto had heard.

"Is he asleep?"

Naruto's eyes flew open. "Sakura! Ow! Ouch."

Sakura had a hand over her mouth, eyes watering with tears – she wasn't crying, thank god, just happy as hell. He was smiling too, so much that it hurt.

"Oh god," she whispered, then, "I'd hug you, but…"

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "I mean, it only hurts when I breathe, so…"

"Oh, well if that's the case," she said, perching on the edge of his bed. She went to take his hand, but it was bandaged, and IV stuck into the vein.

He grimaced. "They've got me all wired up, huh?"

"It was bad," she murmured, settling for patting his knee. "Really bad. Like…"

"Hey," he said. He would've taken her hand or something, had he not been in pain. "It's okay now, right? I'm okay, you're okay, and Sasuke's okay. Hey, where is he, anyway?"

Sakura didn't respond, bit her lip, looked down.

Naruto swallowed. "Sakura? Sasuke…he is okay, right?" In a desperate attempt to lighten the situation, he said, "Let's bring him in, we can have like, a hospital party!"

He watched as her entire expression changed. "Oh, Naruto."

Sasuke, it seemed, was decidedly not-okay.

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Thoughts?