The Silliest Little Short Ever III
Author: nat-chan
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I do not own sailormoon.
Personal Disclaimer: Everytime I embark on a silly short, I lose my mind. Thank you.
Author's Notes: I know I know "Auuughhh nat-chan made another one?!?!"
What inspired this one you ask? A bag of gummi bears that would NOT open!!!!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
heh heh *sweatdrop* minna?
silence.
sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Andrew's POV*
How did I come to find the startling image of Serena, sprawled suggestively across
Darien in a sea of gummi bears you ask?
Well, perhaps you didn't ask, but I will tell you all the same.
You see, it all started when....
*Author's Point of View*
Serena jaunted carelessly through the streets of Juuban, happily clasping a bag
of delicious gummi bears. Could life be sweeter? Soon she would be at the arcade
and enjoying the sugary treat!
She'd managed to pull up her grade on that last test, and Haruna-sensai had let her out
WITHOUT detention becasuse she was so impressed!
Now she had an A+ test AND gummi bears! She was prepared for...the baka.
She entered the arcade with a jangle of bells and he whipped around in his stool
with a smirk, all ready to torment his meatballhead again.
But as he opened his mouth Serena suddenly stuffed her A+ test into it,
not even looking at him as she walked by. Just *stuff* into his mouth it
went, followed by a muffled sound of shock from Darien.
"Hey Andrew!" She cheered and sat down at the counter
"Hey Serena!" He greeted, making her a triple fudge sundae and setting it
down for her. He turned to Darien and frowned.
"Uh...Dare? What's that in your mouth pal?"
Darien, mouthful of wadded testpaper, frowned. The effect was
rather comical.
He pulled the test out, "Another failed test I'd imagine--"
He unfolded it, "..........."
The silence was golden.
Heh heh heh.
Serena watched his shock with amusement.
"That's RIGHT BAKA!!!! An A+!!! You can NEVER
make fun of me AGAIN!!!!"
"Au contraire Meatballhead, there's always you're hair! mwahahaha!"
Serena's eyes narrowed. She stomped over to him, tearing out her
buns as she went, it seemed to rain bobby pins--Andrew held up a tray
to protect himself and the steady clank of pins made for a rather
gangster-like sound.
"FINE!" She shrieked, "Out they go! THERE! NOW YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN
OF MY HAIR EITHER!!!!!!"
Darien's eyes widened as Serena's beautiful golden hair tumbled down
and spilled everywhere.....
She looked ready to sock him one however and he got up to run when
she suddenly tripped over her hair and fell flat on her face...
He choked up with laughter, "Ha ha...I think my klutz-o-meter
just exploded!!!!"
She lept up with a growl and rushed him, making for a great
punch when she slipped on her hair and slammed into him,
knocking him off balance so that he slipped on her hair too...
"Serena...what the--whoa!!!!!"
CRASH
They slammed into the counter and landed in a heap. The gummi bears
landed on Darien's head with a smack.
"Ouch...hey! Gummi bears!"
A hand reached from the haystack of hair and snatched them
away, "Not for you baka!!!!" (heh heh can't you just see it?)
And suddenly she was standing, righteous hair flying every which
way before swirling to a stop like some kind of Goddess.
Darien smacked himself in the head, ~Baka, stop thinking like that!~
Serena frowned and held the gummi bears tight, "THESE are MINE! M-I-N-E!!!"
"You can spell?"
CRACK
The sound of one Tsukino Serena's shoe connecting
with it's target...the unfortunate cranum of one Darien Chiba.
And as an after shock of all this, the fudge sundae plummeted to
the floor.
Andrew sighed, and headed out back for the mop.
This was when the real fun began.
"I want a gummi bear. Don't be greedy Meatballhead, share."
"I *don't* think so."
But then, as she moved to rip the bag open triumphantly and
eat them in front of him...she discovered the bag did NOT want to
open.
Indeed, the plastic was tough as rubber and no angle or trick of
trapping air seemed to be working. Her nemesis watched her
struggle with glee.
"That's what you get for not sharing GREEDY!!!! heh heh heh."
"GRRRMUMBLESPUTTERGROWL" was the reply.
"Nnnnnggggghhh!!!!" She uttered, ripping at the bag violently.
"Do you want some help?"
"NO!"
"Are you sure?"
"nnnnnnggggghhhhh I do NOT need your help...pant pant...."
She was flinging herself all about the arcade, Darien noted, trying to
open the silly bag.
"Meatballhead, let me try..."
"No!" At this she backed away and a chase ensued.
thump thump thump, "Come here!"
thump thump thump, "Go AWAY Darien, I am NOT sharing my
precious gummi bears with YOU!"
"It's a small price to pay considering you CAN'T get them open!!!!"
thump thump thump GRAB
"Give those back!!!!"
"Just a sec loudmouth."
Darien turned and pulled at the bag, "NNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!"
hmmmm.....the bag really *was* tough to open.
~Testosterone don't fail me now....~
"nnnnnggggghhhhh"
~Time to enforce some Tuxedo Mask like strength I see.~
"NNNNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH pant pant pant"
~Hmmm....how embarassing. COME ON WRETCHED BAG OF GUMMIES!!!!!!@$#@$%#$^#$^~
Serena watched on with amusement, "Well well Mr. Macho...looks like
someone's not quite as strong as they THOUGHT they were! heh heh heh."
But, quite suddenly, the bag tore.
The rip nearly shattered the glass on the arcade windows and the sheer
force of it threw Darien into a chaotic whirl.
Serena yelled out as simultaneously, her precious gummies spilled out
in all directions, and her nemesis fell, taking her down with them.
Suddenly she was sprawled across him as gummies rained down from
all angles, pelting them like a terrible sugary rain.
Almost poetic....but not really.
*ANDREW'S POV*
And this, dear readers, is where *I* came back in with the mop.
And there they were. heh heh heh.
"I can't leave you two alone for a minute." I chuckled.
But then I noticed Serena's face, as it emerged from what
looked lika sea of golden hair....the rage...the sheer rage...
all her candy....lost....
Darien noticed too and realized he couldn't protect his
ears in time with a decided cringe.
"MY GUMMI BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Came the familiar wail.
One of the arcade games blew a fuse from the frequency
of that wail.
All I heard was a slight "ping" than the crackle and
fizz.
It was when the windows began to reverberate dangerously
that the strangest thing happened.
She stopped.
She simply stopped wailing.
The silence was so sudden my ears popped.
For a long moment I thought the beeping was just
my shattered eardrums peeping like tweeters....but
then I realized the beeping was coming from Serena.
She looked down at her wrist watch in alarm and I
realized she'd stopped wailing because, somehow,
she'd heard it.
It was then I realized that Serena's ears are
somehow immune to the sound of her own wails.
I can't explain this phenomena....I'll leave
that to Darien, he's the med student wannabe.
Anyway, next thing I know, she leaps off Darien
and bolts out of the arcade as though her heels
are on fire.
Darien watched after her in shock before suddenly
clutching his head and running out after her.
I shook my head and kept on mopping. I must state
here and now, I don't know who of the two of them is
crazier by times....
*Author's POV*
Darien stumbled out into the street, head aching,
Sailormoon was transforming!!!
He jumped to the nearest rooftop, transforming as
he went. In leaps and bounds he was at the park.
He listened, ears honed for the sounds of battle...
but instead of crashes, growls and sneers....he heard...
...a rubbery bouncing sound? That couldn't be right?
Could it?
He alighted in a nearby tree and stopped stalk still,
staring like a five year old. He noticed Sailormoon
standing in the same position. For there, in the park,
were three giant gummi bears......
Irony....a close personal friend of nat-chan's, had
done it's deed with finesse this time.
Tuxedo Mask choked back a snort of laughter.
*HOW* ironic!!!!
Mars was the first to speak up, "Is this some
kind of joke?"
*BOING BOING BOING* was the dazzling reply.
She shot our her famous flames and singed
the red one.....a chunk of it's shoulder was
destoryed and it was covered in black smoke.
"EWWWW Mars, yucky!!" Venus complained,
she shot her crescent beam and took out the
yellow one's eye....and screamed, "EWWW!!
I got it in the eye!!! In the eye!!!"
Jupiter shook her head and shot her lightening,
the stomach of the green one disappered....a gaping
a hole in it's place.
And the tall, immovable Jupiter had to cringe,
"awwww, that's just plain gross!!!!"
Everyone turned to Mercury, she backed up holding
out her hands, "Don't look at ME! They look
gross enough!!!!"
The three other scouts sighed and kept zapping the now
deformed gummies.
Sailormoon stood frozen, thoughts swinging wildly.
~I'm beginning to think I have some sort of real
connection with the youmas....I mean, first the giant
birthday cake....now gummies???!!!!~
(AN: a shameless plug of Nat-chan's OTHER fic
about Serena's B-day....heh heh.....)
"Mercury!!!" Cried Mars as the gummies got
closer, "DO SOMETHING!!!"
A startled Mercury shot out her mist of bubbles
and everything was covered in fog.
The only discernible sound was "*BOING* *BOING*"
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT??!!!" Mars cried as the
scouts scrambled to find the dreadful youmas.
An armless, eye-less, singed up yellow gummi
suddenly emerged in front of Venus. She screamed
and random crescent beams nearly singed the other
scouts.
"OW! WATCH IT!"
"I CAN'T SEE!!!"
"AAAHHH THAT THING IS *SO* GROSS!!!"
ZAP
"JUPITER! ARE YOU *TRYING* TO ELECTROCUTE ME???"
Tuxedo Mask looked down into the mist and listened
to the chaos of the battle.
Why wasn't the mist lifting yet?
Suddenly Sailormoon's scream broke the air.
Tuxedo Mask looked reluctantly down, haphazardly
tossed a rose and lept down.
He ended up smashing right into the gummi attacking
Sailormoon.
He blinked at her incredulous stare before noticing
he was waist deep in green gummi....his rose was
wedged into the creatures gummi nose. He tried to move
and found he was stuck.
"ARGH!!" He cried.
The gummi continued to bounce, and Tuxedo Mask
found himself looking very undignified.
With a frustrated tug he tried to rip free.
Sailormoon brandished her sceptor, trying to
aim it around him to the gummi, jumping back
and forth.
Tuxedo Mask was sure she'd roast him.
With a desperate tug he ripped free...his cape
and black boots were gone...and then he heard a
terrible ripping noise.....his pants....
He landed on the ground next to Sailormoon
as she fired off her sceptor and took out the
Green Gummi.....
He turned to assess the damage and found.....his
pants ripped....right across the behind.....rose
patterned boxers of gold silk fluttered in the wind.
His face reddened....how was a superhero to remain
dignified under such circumstances?
He stood very carefully so that his backside
was obscured from view....oh he could read
the headlines now!!!!!
"TUXEDO FLASHER SAVES THE DAY!"
"BOXER MAN HELPS DESTROY GIANT GREEN
GUMMI BEAR!!!"
"TUXEDO UNDERWEAR IN LOCAL BATTLE!!!"
He nearly wept.
Sailormoon finally saw as the fog cleared,
the other two gummies that the scouts
kept shooting at.
"Finally!!!!" She exclaimed, "I can get
a clear shot!"
She turned determinedly, not noticing Tuxedo
Mask's....predicament.
She was all set to destroy the yellow and
red gummi's.....when a hippo rode in.
Yes a hippo.
A giant, stampeding hippo ran right into the
battle.
Was it a youma you ask? Was there a zoo nearby?
No. It's MY silly short, and *I* want a hippo.
heh heh.
The giant hippo ran in, knocking the gummi's every
which way and causing the scouts to turn heel and run
screaming.
"AHHHHH!!!" They cried, running towards Sailormoon.
The red gummi was thrown and took down Tuxedo Mask.
Together they were thrown back several feet.
Tuxedo Mask jumped up angrily, "THAT'S IT!!!" He cried,
although no one heard.
He'd had enough of these dignity destroying youma's!!!
He launched himself at the red gummi and wrestled with
him as they bounced back into the frey.
Sailormoon dusted the yellow gummi from a tree as the hippo
continued it's rampage. It thumped their tree and she
and the scouts came tumbling down....in time to see
Tuxedo Mask bounce by.
"Is that Tuxedo Mask?"
"Are those gold silk boxers?"
Mercury scanned them with her
computer, "Yes, that's Tuxedo
Mask and the red gummi....and
the boxers are genuine silk too."
Jupiter giggled.
"GUYS!!!" Cried Sailormoon.
They all muttered amongst themselves...not
really sorry for laughing at her crush.
"You'd better toast the youma." Mars pointed out.
"I'm trying to get a good shot!" Cried Sailormoon
desperately as Tuxedo Mask and the red gummi
bounced from left to right....the stampeding
hippo circling the clearing with furious snorts.
*BOING* *BOING* *BOING*
Thunder thunder thunder
"TAKE THAT *BEAR*!!!!" Tuxedo Mask cried,
landing another punch.
Sailormoon had to admit underneath it
all, that it was pretty funny.
She prepared to take a shot when
Tuxedo Mask lodged a rose in the gummi's
throat and it exploded.....
Tuxedo Mask was thrown, covered in
sticky red gummi, onto the back of
the hippo.
The hippo ran off into the sunset, bouncing
a furious Tuxedo Mask on his back.
"WHAT THE??? WHOAAAA HIPPO!!!" Cried
Tuxedo Mask.
The scouts watched him a moment, then burst
out laughing, doubling over.
Sailormoon stared at them in shock, "GUYS!
WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!!!"
Mars snorted, "What? Why should we? The
hippo's not a youma! He never helps US
anyway!!!!"
Sailormoon glared at her then ran off
after her hero.....currently riding
the back of a wild hippo, his pants
ripped.....sigh, poor tuxedo mask.
(AN: Mamo-chan's never going to speak
to me again after this short)
Bouncing from tree to tree, Sailormoon
finally caught up with the hippo and lept
on, smacking into Tuxedo Mask from behind,
just as they rode into the city.
The force of her landing knocked his mask
off.
He turned in surprise to look at her.
"DARIEN!?!?!!!" She cried in shock.
He never had a chance to reply as the
hippo ran into traffic.
ZOOM!!
SCREEEEEECH!!! HONK HONK!!!
CRASH!!!!
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Screamed our
two heroes, praying for their lives.
The hippo raced through the streets
as Tuxedo Mask clung to it and
Sailormoon clung to Tuxedo Mask.
It finally ran towards a store
window...full speed.
"WHAT THE??!!" Tuxedo Mask cried.
The hippo ran straight through the
window....of a candy store.
CRASH!!!!! tinkle tinkle.
The store owner ran out back screaming.
The candy dispensers shattered and gummi's
rained down over the hippo, who munched contently.
Sailormoon found herself shielded underneath
Tuxedo Mask who'd flipped her under him
to protect her from the glass.
But without the mask, Darien's clear
blue eyes gazed uncertainly into her
own.
"You risked your life to save me." He said
softly, "Thank you Sailormoon. I know
I can trust you with my identity."
Although...something about the way
she'd screamed 'Darien' was awfully
familiar.
She smiled at him and reached for her
broach, de-transforming underneath him.
"Looks like now you can replace
my gummies Baka!!!"
FLASH, beautiful Serena with her sea
of golden hair lay beneath him.
Darien grinned down at her, "Meatballhead?
You're Sailormoon?"
She was about to make an angry rebuttle when
he kissed her.
It seemed that bringing those two identities
together really did something for him.
Her eyes widened in surprise before she found
herself, inexplicably kissing him back.
Tuxedo Mask....Darien.....baka and handsome
hero.....what a strange, irresistible combination!
*ANDREW'S POV*
How did I come to find the startling image
of Darien, pants ripped and gold silk boxers
exposed, making out with Serena on the back of
a hippo in a candy store window, covered in
gummies you ask?
Well, maybe you didn't ask, but I'm going to tell
you anyway.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My craziest yet!!! *bows...subtly dodging tomatoes*
thankies to K-chan, who encourages my craziness and
gave me the confidence to put in the hippo.
Domo-arigato boss-chan *salutes*
Hopefully K-chan and I will co-write the fourth silly
short....some time in the distant future....when something
NEW enrages nat-chan!! heh heh.....
thanks to all who e-mail me about these crazy things,
like Kitti-chan who pre-read the first chunk for me :)
That's all.....for now...bwahahahahaha.......*nat-chan
mounts her hippo and rides off into the sunset eating
gummi bears*
Author: nat-chan
E-mail: [email protected]
Disclaimer: I do not own sailormoon.
Personal Disclaimer: Everytime I embark on a silly short, I lose my mind. Thank you.
Author's Notes: I know I know "Auuughhh nat-chan made another one?!?!"
What inspired this one you ask? A bag of gummi bears that would NOT open!!!!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
heh heh *sweatdrop* minna?
silence.
sigh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Andrew's POV*
How did I come to find the startling image of Serena, sprawled suggestively across
Darien in a sea of gummi bears you ask?
Well, perhaps you didn't ask, but I will tell you all the same.
You see, it all started when....
*Author's Point of View*
Serena jaunted carelessly through the streets of Juuban, happily clasping a bag
of delicious gummi bears. Could life be sweeter? Soon she would be at the arcade
and enjoying the sugary treat!
She'd managed to pull up her grade on that last test, and Haruna-sensai had let her out
WITHOUT detention becasuse she was so impressed!
Now she had an A+ test AND gummi bears! She was prepared for...the baka.
She entered the arcade with a jangle of bells and he whipped around in his stool
with a smirk, all ready to torment his meatballhead again.
But as he opened his mouth Serena suddenly stuffed her A+ test into it,
not even looking at him as she walked by. Just *stuff* into his mouth it
went, followed by a muffled sound of shock from Darien.
"Hey Andrew!" She cheered and sat down at the counter
"Hey Serena!" He greeted, making her a triple fudge sundae and setting it
down for her. He turned to Darien and frowned.
"Uh...Dare? What's that in your mouth pal?"
Darien, mouthful of wadded testpaper, frowned. The effect was
rather comical.
He pulled the test out, "Another failed test I'd imagine--"
He unfolded it, "..........."
The silence was golden.
Heh heh heh.
Serena watched his shock with amusement.
"That's RIGHT BAKA!!!! An A+!!! You can NEVER
make fun of me AGAIN!!!!"
"Au contraire Meatballhead, there's always you're hair! mwahahaha!"
Serena's eyes narrowed. She stomped over to him, tearing out her
buns as she went, it seemed to rain bobby pins--Andrew held up a tray
to protect himself and the steady clank of pins made for a rather
gangster-like sound.
"FINE!" She shrieked, "Out they go! THERE! NOW YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN
OF MY HAIR EITHER!!!!!!"
Darien's eyes widened as Serena's beautiful golden hair tumbled down
and spilled everywhere.....
She looked ready to sock him one however and he got up to run when
she suddenly tripped over her hair and fell flat on her face...
He choked up with laughter, "Ha ha...I think my klutz-o-meter
just exploded!!!!"
She lept up with a growl and rushed him, making for a great
punch when she slipped on her hair and slammed into him,
knocking him off balance so that he slipped on her hair too...
"Serena...what the--whoa!!!!!"
CRASH
They slammed into the counter and landed in a heap. The gummi bears
landed on Darien's head with a smack.
"Ouch...hey! Gummi bears!"
A hand reached from the haystack of hair and snatched them
away, "Not for you baka!!!!" (heh heh can't you just see it?)
And suddenly she was standing, righteous hair flying every which
way before swirling to a stop like some kind of Goddess.
Darien smacked himself in the head, ~Baka, stop thinking like that!~
Serena frowned and held the gummi bears tight, "THESE are MINE! M-I-N-E!!!"
"You can spell?"
CRACK
The sound of one Tsukino Serena's shoe connecting
with it's target...the unfortunate cranum of one Darien Chiba.
And as an after shock of all this, the fudge sundae plummeted to
the floor.
Andrew sighed, and headed out back for the mop.
This was when the real fun began.
"I want a gummi bear. Don't be greedy Meatballhead, share."
"I *don't* think so."
But then, as she moved to rip the bag open triumphantly and
eat them in front of him...she discovered the bag did NOT want to
open.
Indeed, the plastic was tough as rubber and no angle or trick of
trapping air seemed to be working. Her nemesis watched her
struggle with glee.
"That's what you get for not sharing GREEDY!!!! heh heh heh."
"GRRRMUMBLESPUTTERGROWL" was the reply.
"Nnnnnggggghhh!!!!" She uttered, ripping at the bag violently.
"Do you want some help?"
"NO!"
"Are you sure?"
"nnnnnnggggghhhhh I do NOT need your help...pant pant...."
She was flinging herself all about the arcade, Darien noted, trying to
open the silly bag.
"Meatballhead, let me try..."
"No!" At this she backed away and a chase ensued.
thump thump thump, "Come here!"
thump thump thump, "Go AWAY Darien, I am NOT sharing my
precious gummi bears with YOU!"
"It's a small price to pay considering you CAN'T get them open!!!!"
thump thump thump GRAB
"Give those back!!!!"
"Just a sec loudmouth."
Darien turned and pulled at the bag, "NNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!"
hmmmm.....the bag really *was* tough to open.
~Testosterone don't fail me now....~
"nnnnnggggghhhhh"
~Time to enforce some Tuxedo Mask like strength I see.~
"NNNNNNNGGGGGHHHHHH pant pant pant"
~Hmmm....how embarassing. COME ON WRETCHED BAG OF GUMMIES!!!!!!@$#@$%#$^#$^~
Serena watched on with amusement, "Well well Mr. Macho...looks like
someone's not quite as strong as they THOUGHT they were! heh heh heh."
But, quite suddenly, the bag tore.
The rip nearly shattered the glass on the arcade windows and the sheer
force of it threw Darien into a chaotic whirl.
Serena yelled out as simultaneously, her precious gummies spilled out
in all directions, and her nemesis fell, taking her down with them.
Suddenly she was sprawled across him as gummies rained down from
all angles, pelting them like a terrible sugary rain.
Almost poetic....but not really.
*ANDREW'S POV*
And this, dear readers, is where *I* came back in with the mop.
And there they were. heh heh heh.
"I can't leave you two alone for a minute." I chuckled.
But then I noticed Serena's face, as it emerged from what
looked lika sea of golden hair....the rage...the sheer rage...
all her candy....lost....
Darien noticed too and realized he couldn't protect his
ears in time with a decided cringe.
"MY GUMMI BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Came the familiar wail.
One of the arcade games blew a fuse from the frequency
of that wail.
All I heard was a slight "ping" than the crackle and
fizz.
It was when the windows began to reverberate dangerously
that the strangest thing happened.
She stopped.
She simply stopped wailing.
The silence was so sudden my ears popped.
For a long moment I thought the beeping was just
my shattered eardrums peeping like tweeters....but
then I realized the beeping was coming from Serena.
She looked down at her wrist watch in alarm and I
realized she'd stopped wailing because, somehow,
she'd heard it.
It was then I realized that Serena's ears are
somehow immune to the sound of her own wails.
I can't explain this phenomena....I'll leave
that to Darien, he's the med student wannabe.
Anyway, next thing I know, she leaps off Darien
and bolts out of the arcade as though her heels
are on fire.
Darien watched after her in shock before suddenly
clutching his head and running out after her.
I shook my head and kept on mopping. I must state
here and now, I don't know who of the two of them is
crazier by times....
*Author's POV*
Darien stumbled out into the street, head aching,
Sailormoon was transforming!!!
He jumped to the nearest rooftop, transforming as
he went. In leaps and bounds he was at the park.
He listened, ears honed for the sounds of battle...
but instead of crashes, growls and sneers....he heard...
...a rubbery bouncing sound? That couldn't be right?
Could it?
He alighted in a nearby tree and stopped stalk still,
staring like a five year old. He noticed Sailormoon
standing in the same position. For there, in the park,
were three giant gummi bears......
Irony....a close personal friend of nat-chan's, had
done it's deed with finesse this time.
Tuxedo Mask choked back a snort of laughter.
*HOW* ironic!!!!
Mars was the first to speak up, "Is this some
kind of joke?"
*BOING BOING BOING* was the dazzling reply.
She shot our her famous flames and singed
the red one.....a chunk of it's shoulder was
destoryed and it was covered in black smoke.
"EWWWW Mars, yucky!!" Venus complained,
she shot her crescent beam and took out the
yellow one's eye....and screamed, "EWWW!!
I got it in the eye!!! In the eye!!!"
Jupiter shook her head and shot her lightening,
the stomach of the green one disappered....a gaping
a hole in it's place.
And the tall, immovable Jupiter had to cringe,
"awwww, that's just plain gross!!!!"
Everyone turned to Mercury, she backed up holding
out her hands, "Don't look at ME! They look
gross enough!!!!"
The three other scouts sighed and kept zapping the now
deformed gummies.
Sailormoon stood frozen, thoughts swinging wildly.
~I'm beginning to think I have some sort of real
connection with the youmas....I mean, first the giant
birthday cake....now gummies???!!!!~
(AN: a shameless plug of Nat-chan's OTHER fic
about Serena's B-day....heh heh.....)
"Mercury!!!" Cried Mars as the gummies got
closer, "DO SOMETHING!!!"
A startled Mercury shot out her mist of bubbles
and everything was covered in fog.
The only discernible sound was "*BOING* *BOING*"
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT??!!!" Mars cried as the
scouts scrambled to find the dreadful youmas.
An armless, eye-less, singed up yellow gummi
suddenly emerged in front of Venus. She screamed
and random crescent beams nearly singed the other
scouts.
"OW! WATCH IT!"
"I CAN'T SEE!!!"
"AAAHHH THAT THING IS *SO* GROSS!!!"
ZAP
"JUPITER! ARE YOU *TRYING* TO ELECTROCUTE ME???"
Tuxedo Mask looked down into the mist and listened
to the chaos of the battle.
Why wasn't the mist lifting yet?
Suddenly Sailormoon's scream broke the air.
Tuxedo Mask looked reluctantly down, haphazardly
tossed a rose and lept down.
He ended up smashing right into the gummi attacking
Sailormoon.
He blinked at her incredulous stare before noticing
he was waist deep in green gummi....his rose was
wedged into the creatures gummi nose. He tried to move
and found he was stuck.
"ARGH!!" He cried.
The gummi continued to bounce, and Tuxedo Mask
found himself looking very undignified.
With a frustrated tug he tried to rip free.
Sailormoon brandished her sceptor, trying to
aim it around him to the gummi, jumping back
and forth.
Tuxedo Mask was sure she'd roast him.
With a desperate tug he ripped free...his cape
and black boots were gone...and then he heard a
terrible ripping noise.....his pants....
He landed on the ground next to Sailormoon
as she fired off her sceptor and took out the
Green Gummi.....
He turned to assess the damage and found.....his
pants ripped....right across the behind.....rose
patterned boxers of gold silk fluttered in the wind.
His face reddened....how was a superhero to remain
dignified under such circumstances?
He stood very carefully so that his backside
was obscured from view....oh he could read
the headlines now!!!!!
"TUXEDO FLASHER SAVES THE DAY!"
"BOXER MAN HELPS DESTROY GIANT GREEN
GUMMI BEAR!!!"
"TUXEDO UNDERWEAR IN LOCAL BATTLE!!!"
He nearly wept.
Sailormoon finally saw as the fog cleared,
the other two gummies that the scouts
kept shooting at.
"Finally!!!!" She exclaimed, "I can get
a clear shot!"
She turned determinedly, not noticing Tuxedo
Mask's....predicament.
She was all set to destroy the yellow and
red gummi's.....when a hippo rode in.
Yes a hippo.
A giant, stampeding hippo ran right into the
battle.
Was it a youma you ask? Was there a zoo nearby?
No. It's MY silly short, and *I* want a hippo.
heh heh.
The giant hippo ran in, knocking the gummi's every
which way and causing the scouts to turn heel and run
screaming.
"AHHHHH!!!" They cried, running towards Sailormoon.
The red gummi was thrown and took down Tuxedo Mask.
Together they were thrown back several feet.
Tuxedo Mask jumped up angrily, "THAT'S IT!!!" He cried,
although no one heard.
He'd had enough of these dignity destroying youma's!!!
He launched himself at the red gummi and wrestled with
him as they bounced back into the frey.
Sailormoon dusted the yellow gummi from a tree as the hippo
continued it's rampage. It thumped their tree and she
and the scouts came tumbling down....in time to see
Tuxedo Mask bounce by.
"Is that Tuxedo Mask?"
"Are those gold silk boxers?"
Mercury scanned them with her
computer, "Yes, that's Tuxedo
Mask and the red gummi....and
the boxers are genuine silk too."
Jupiter giggled.
"GUYS!!!" Cried Sailormoon.
They all muttered amongst themselves...not
really sorry for laughing at her crush.
"You'd better toast the youma." Mars pointed out.
"I'm trying to get a good shot!" Cried Sailormoon
desperately as Tuxedo Mask and the red gummi
bounced from left to right....the stampeding
hippo circling the clearing with furious snorts.
*BOING* *BOING* *BOING*
Thunder thunder thunder
"TAKE THAT *BEAR*!!!!" Tuxedo Mask cried,
landing another punch.
Sailormoon had to admit underneath it
all, that it was pretty funny.
She prepared to take a shot when
Tuxedo Mask lodged a rose in the gummi's
throat and it exploded.....
Tuxedo Mask was thrown, covered in
sticky red gummi, onto the back of
the hippo.
The hippo ran off into the sunset, bouncing
a furious Tuxedo Mask on his back.
"WHAT THE??? WHOAAAA HIPPO!!!" Cried
Tuxedo Mask.
The scouts watched him a moment, then burst
out laughing, doubling over.
Sailormoon stared at them in shock, "GUYS!
WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!!!"
Mars snorted, "What? Why should we? The
hippo's not a youma! He never helps US
anyway!!!!"
Sailormoon glared at her then ran off
after her hero.....currently riding
the back of a wild hippo, his pants
ripped.....sigh, poor tuxedo mask.
(AN: Mamo-chan's never going to speak
to me again after this short)
Bouncing from tree to tree, Sailormoon
finally caught up with the hippo and lept
on, smacking into Tuxedo Mask from behind,
just as they rode into the city.
The force of her landing knocked his mask
off.
He turned in surprise to look at her.
"DARIEN!?!?!!!" She cried in shock.
He never had a chance to reply as the
hippo ran into traffic.
ZOOM!!
SCREEEEEECH!!! HONK HONK!!!
CRASH!!!!
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Screamed our
two heroes, praying for their lives.
The hippo raced through the streets
as Tuxedo Mask clung to it and
Sailormoon clung to Tuxedo Mask.
It finally ran towards a store
window...full speed.
"WHAT THE??!!" Tuxedo Mask cried.
The hippo ran straight through the
window....of a candy store.
CRASH!!!!! tinkle tinkle.
The store owner ran out back screaming.
The candy dispensers shattered and gummi's
rained down over the hippo, who munched contently.
Sailormoon found herself shielded underneath
Tuxedo Mask who'd flipped her under him
to protect her from the glass.
But without the mask, Darien's clear
blue eyes gazed uncertainly into her
own.
"You risked your life to save me." He said
softly, "Thank you Sailormoon. I know
I can trust you with my identity."
Although...something about the way
she'd screamed 'Darien' was awfully
familiar.
She smiled at him and reached for her
broach, de-transforming underneath him.
"Looks like now you can replace
my gummies Baka!!!"
FLASH, beautiful Serena with her sea
of golden hair lay beneath him.
Darien grinned down at her, "Meatballhead?
You're Sailormoon?"
She was about to make an angry rebuttle when
he kissed her.
It seemed that bringing those two identities
together really did something for him.
Her eyes widened in surprise before she found
herself, inexplicably kissing him back.
Tuxedo Mask....Darien.....baka and handsome
hero.....what a strange, irresistible combination!
*ANDREW'S POV*
How did I come to find the startling image
of Darien, pants ripped and gold silk boxers
exposed, making out with Serena on the back of
a hippo in a candy store window, covered in
gummies you ask?
Well, maybe you didn't ask, but I'm going to tell
you anyway.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My craziest yet!!! *bows...subtly dodging tomatoes*
thankies to K-chan, who encourages my craziness and
gave me the confidence to put in the hippo.
Domo-arigato boss-chan *salutes*
Hopefully K-chan and I will co-write the fourth silly
short....some time in the distant future....when something
NEW enrages nat-chan!! heh heh.....
thanks to all who e-mail me about these crazy things,
like Kitti-chan who pre-read the first chunk for me :)
That's all.....for now...bwahahahahaha.......*nat-chan
mounts her hippo and rides off into the sunset eating
gummi bears*