Naruto of the Akatsuki

Chapter V: GANONDORF!

You may remember something about Naruto "being a shell" of his former self. You might also say "Hey! You completely forgot about turning Naruto into a really depressed jerk!" Well, I don't think I can do a super sudden character change from go lucky to Sasuke2, so I'm going to have Naruto go through a subtle character change. He will progressively become more insane, and by the time the Chunin exams roll around, Naruto will be using the Rinnegan to summon Pikachu, or something like that… Nagato will also be slightly, "off his rocker" I will have this "Insanity" as a side affect of the Rinnegan. This will be a filler, so I have time for the incoming poll results. For Deidara, I will use "hm" like the dub version, the traditional "un" seems kinda weird to me. In reality, "un" is supposed to be either "mm" or "nn". Also, I don't own Pokemon or The Legend of Zelda.

DON'T FORGET TO ANWSER THE POLL!

Anyways, Let's go!

Regular

ENRAGED YELLING

Samehada

"Thought"

"Demon/Gods/Spirit"

Chapter V: GANONDORF!

Nagato "sat" upon his "Throne of Revitalization" as he watched the Akatsuki slowly trickle into the meeting room, stumbling into walls, random logs, and crying hybrids. "Gosh, even more time is being wasted!"

About five minutes had past since Kisame's outburst, and he couldn't help but feel bad for the poor shark. No, shark-man. Wait, shark-man hybrid, thing?

"I hope she'll go easy on him," the redhead shivered at the thought of an angry Konan, "Don't need any 'fishy' business going on." Nagato quietly chuckled at his own pun before letting out a sigh, "I wish Konan wasn't so mad. I still need someone to scratch my nose, IT'S SO ITCHY! AND I CAN'T USE MY OWN ARMS BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING USELESS! Mom's right, I can't survive five seconds without a women." Speaking of women…

"Nagato, you better have someone untie me from this board!"

The readhead looked down at the struggling figure, "Sorry Konan, you know what you did wrong. You're not getting off that board until you calm down."

"I AM CALM!"

Nagato frowned and began to scold Konan, "DON'T USE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME YOUNG LADY!"

"Yeah, listen to daddy scary lady!" a voice squeaked.

"SHUT UP!" screamed Konan.

"Daddy" whipped his head to address the high-pitched man, "FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM NOT YOUR FATHER!" he yelled.

Naruto began to chuckle at Nagato's strange personality.

The figure began to sniffle, "Tobi's sorry! Tobi's a good boy!" he said, crying through his mask.

Nagato began to violently twitch, "OH MY GOD! ITACHI! GET OVER HERE!"

Said Uchiha appeared in a swirl of flames, "Yes leader-sama?"

"MAKE HIM STOP CRYING!" he yelled, pointing a quivering finger towards the sobbing man. Itachi looked at the weird display before him. Tobi was on the ground rocking back and forth in a fetal position. A confused Naruto was awkwardly rubbing his back, whispering "There, there?"

"I will try my best."

Nagato sighed and visibly relaxed, "Finally someone norm-"

"Daddy"

"FU**!"

After Itachi had successfully calmed Tobi and helped Nagato with his stress kit, the meeting finally began.

"Here before you is Naruto Uzumaki…"

The gathered members quickly realized something was off about their leader.

"Is his nose?"

"Yeah, it's twitching, hm."

"It is most likely the result of incessant uncomfortable feelings within the internal Nasal Septum."

Everyone turned towards the masculine voice, "Does my explanation confuse you?" he asked, confused to why these low life idiots couldn't understand sound logic.

"Sasori?"

"Yes?" Sasori asked, facing his partner.

"Shut up."

"…and that is the plan. Do you all understand?"

The Akatsuki quickly returned their attention to Pein.

"Oh, uh… yeah…um… sure! We got it!"

"Good! Let's begin!" said a smiling Nagato.

"RELEASE ME FOOLS! THIS IS AN OFFENSE TO THE SEVEN SAGES OF LOG!"

Nagato's Deva path (Yahiko) quickly led Naruto through the labyrinth of corridors, turning at every other corner.

"Let's see." The path said, thinking aloud, "Take a right here, and another right there."

Naruto wordlessly followed the strange orange haired man, "This guy has some kind of weird piercing fetish. There are so many rods sticking out of him." the blond quickly shuddered at the implications, "Oh, that came out so wrong…"

"And a right here, and another right there…"

"I wonder what will happen to that strange women, what was her name again? Kona? Kanon? Ganon? Ganondorf? AH! That must be it! Ganondorf! Such a fitting name for a mystical elf…"

"And another right…"

"I'm getting this strange feeling. It's Like we're going around in circles…"

"Hey orange man!"

"Another right… hm?"

"Where are we going" Naruto asked, kicking a loose rock across the corridor.

"Us? We are going to our indoor training facilities." Devahiko (Pronounced Devah he ko Aka. Deva + Yahiko)

"Where is is?"

The path skipped and announced with a prideful smile, "It's just around the corner!"

"Really?"

"Yep! Right after this right turn! And this right turn, and this right corner, right, right, right."

"Hey fairy-san! I swore we passed this pillar at least 55 times! I'm not sure, but that's what Kenji told me. Right Kenji?"

"…"

Turning to Devahiko, Naruto spoke to the confuse path, "He said Ganondorf's scary." The blond translated, "Hm? What's that? Kenji says you're lost orange man!"

The orange-haired path seemed to have ignored Nartuo and kept on walking.

"Right, right, right…"

"Fuck you Ganondorf!"

Pein sneezed and screamed bloody murder, "DAMMIT DEVAHIKO! YOU AND YOUR NAVIGATIONAL SKILLS! Now my time is being wasted! My precious, precious time!" Twitching his nose, Nagato realized something rather… interesting, "Hey! It's no longer itchy! HAHAHA! YES! Take that Konan!"

Out of the blue, a white blur flew by his head, narrowly missing his ear. "What was that?" He asked, confused by the "Unidentified Flying Piece of Crap". The white object slowly came closer towards his face, "Hey, hey what are you doing?" The UFPC floated towards his nasal passage, inching closer by the second.

Nagato's eyes widened with realization. "No…" he said, "No, No, NO!"

"Hehehe… I told you to release me! I warned you, but now it's too late! THE CURSE OF THE SEVEN SAGES!"

"NOOOOO!"