* Graduation *

The last week before exams slips by way too fast for any of us.

Maybe it's the difference between Yamaku and my old school, but I don't think I've ever studied so hard in my life. I spend some time in a study group with Lilly and Hanako, and that turns out to be really helpful, since we can discuss things we don't understand. I feel like I'm a lot more prepared for the exams, which I didn't expect.

Hanako and I also talk to Akira quite a bit. She seems to think it's kind of strange for two kids in high school to be so serious about a relationship, but that's just the way we are. And once she got past the first few jokes, Akira turned out to be a lot of help.

On her advice, Hanako and I spend time together when we can, and if we can't, or we'd rather be alone for a while, we know that's okay. Our time together gets a little shorter than we'd like because of exams, but we still find ways.

On Akira's other advice, the kind delivered with a wink, I start carrying protection again. Just in case. Not that I think it's going to happen with exams hanging over our heads, but it's still a good idea.

A strange kind of confidence comes over me as exams start. With all that's happened over the past year, it's hard to believe the end of high school is getting closer and closer. I'm somewhere I never imagined being, with friends and a girlfriend I never imagined having.

I knew my life had changed forever the first time I woke up in the hospital. But I've come so far since then, and I don't think I'd change a thing.

And finally, exams come to an end. With English, of course.

I close the exam booklet and set down my pencil, then slump back in my seat and let out a long breath. I glance over at Hanako, see that she's reviewing her answers. I should do the same, but now that it's done and over with, I don't want to look at another test paper for a long, long time.

Once everything's over and we're allowed to talk again, I step over to Hanako's desk.

Hisao

"How'd it go?"

Hanako

"Good, I think. Th-there were a few questions I wasn't sure about, but I understood most of it. Lilly's help made it much easier."

Hisao

"No kidding. I don't think I would have understood half that stuff without her."

Hanako's smile is small, but not as shy as it used to be, and she hardly seems to notice our classmates all around as they pack up and leave. Just the fact that she's not sitting there trying not to be noticed until everyone's gone seems like a huge improvement.

Hisao

"So, to the tea room? Lilly's probably done by now too."

Her eyes widen, and she looks embarrassed.

Hanako

"I forgot to tell you, I have an appointment with my therapist today. S-she wanted to see me after exams, before . . . before vacation starts."

That's true. Hanako's been seeing the same therapist for a long time, it makes sense they'd want to talk one last time before school's out.

Hanako

"Lilly said she wants to have us over for tea tonight. Can you come?"

I grin down at her, and she smiles back. Not that she really needs to ask, but one of our little tea parties sounds like a great way to wind down.

Hisao

"Yeah, I'll be there, definitely."

Hanako nods and stands, then pauses for a moment before hugging me. I put my arms around her, as always, and hear someone giggle as they walk out the door. Some things will never change. Hopefully this won't either.

We say our goodbyes, and I head out just behind her, then start toward the tea room. For now, it's all over, and we can relax.

I halfway expected to see another bag with wine in it in Lilly's room; it seemed like the kind of thing Akira would do to help us celebrate. But there's nothing more dangerous than tea on the menu tonight, that and some cookies Hanako picked up a while back. We all clink our glasses together in a toast, drink, and laugh, the tension from exams already almost gone.

Lilly and Hanako are both clad in their pajamas, of course; I've thought about wearing mine a few times but decided against it. It's not like I could walk to the girls' dorm in my pajamas, and changing my clothes here just wouldn't work. Not that I mind how Hanako and Lilly are dressed, not at all.

Lilly

"So, Hisao, Hanako, how did everything go?"

Hanako

"F-fine, I think. Thank you for your help with English, that was a lot easier after everything you taught me."

Lilly gives her a bright smile, then sips her tea again.

Lilly

"I'm glad it helped. I'm planning to go into teaching, and Akira tells me you both have been talking to her about what you'll do in college."

Hisao

"Yeah, it's strange to think about. All she said was that I should figure out what subject I liked most, and see what I could do in that field. I've been talking to Mutou about going into one area of science or another."

Lilly looks like she approves. It says something about how much time we've spent studying and only studying that we haven't had a chance to talk about this before.

Lilly

"I'm sure he's pleased to hear that. Have you decided on anything, Hanako?"

Hanako

"I'm . . . I'm not sure yet. I don't have a subject that's my favorite, but Akira loaned me some books about business and computers, because she thought I might be interested."

Lilly laughs a little at this, prompting Hanako to duck into her nightgown just a bit. It would be funny if Hanako didn't look upset.

Lilly

"My, my. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she was trying to recruit you for the family business. That's the sort of thing she'd do."

Hanako

"Th-that would be fine."

I have no idea what Lilly's family actually does, but if Akira can help Hanako figure out what she wants to do and get her a job doing it, I'm all for it. One way or another, like everything else, we'll find a way.

Hanako slides over and leans against me, the gesture now familiar. Since our talks in the park and on the roof, she's done something like this most times we're together. The first time Yuuko found us sharing a beanbag chair in the library, she went back and forth on whether or not it was against the rules several times before just walking away flustered. She hasn't mentioned it since.

That's probably for the best.

Lilly

"Do you two . . . have any plans for tomorrow?"

Lilly tries to stifle a huge yawn and doesn't quite make it. I look at Hanako, and she looks away quickly, blushing. She hasn't said anything to me about tomorrow, so. . . .

Hanako

"Probably just rest. I-I haven't been sleeping well, with exams and . . . everything."

I put my arm around Hanako, feel her warmth as she snuggles closer to me, then have to try not to yawn as well. Spending tomorrow resting sounds like a great idea. Insomnia is one of my medicines' side effects, so I don't always sleep well, and the stress from exams hasn't helped.

Hisao

"Sounds like a plan. We can all hang out, but I don't know about going anywhere."

Hanako's only response is a darker blush. I start to wonder if she's hiding something.

Lilly

"That would be nice, to talk about something other than exams. I'm not sure how much of that we'll be good for tonight."

Lilly has it right. We all chat for a little while longer, then everyone agrees we're too tired to stay up much later. Hanako and I say our goodnights and leave.

Outside her room's door, Hanako and I hug again. Her nightgown feels different under my hands than her normal clothes, and she definitely seems warmer, though that might be because her skin is closer. Against my chest, I feel her breathing harder than usual, and when we separate, she looks up at me, her eyes wide but focused.

Hisao

"Hanako?"

She moves in closer and kisses me, and her lips are also warmer, like the blush that hasn't gone away has carried on to them. When we finally separate, before I can say a word, she opens her room's door and steps backward through it, then puts her hand on my chest and takes my shirt between her fingers.

Hanako

". . . please?"

My heart pounds. I put my hand over hers, step toward her, and close and lock the door behind me once we're both inside.

Hanako makes sure the curtains are shut, then turns to me, one hand held over her chest.

Hanako

"W-we don't have to if you don't want to, but . . . I do."

So that's why she was blushing so much. All I can do is smile, and walk closer to her, and hope my heart stops beating so fast.

Hisao

"I do, I just . . . didn't expect this."

Hanako nods, her smile turning cute and nervous, and puts both hands over the single tie at the top of her nightgown. She pulls gently on the bow's ties, and. . . .

And nothing happens, because it was purely decorative. She looks down at her still completely closed nightgown, then at me, and we both start to laugh.

Hanako

"I'm sorry, I thought it would . . . I've been talking to Akira about this too. S-she suggested some things I should do. But I was nervous, I didn't think to check if it would untie anything."

I get a brief mental image of Akira giving Hanako ideas, ones that get more and more lascivious, until Hanako's borderline traumatized. Seems pretty fitting, actually. But at least Hanako's been talking about all of this, so she's not so uncomfortable with it.

I hope. I really, really hope.

Hisao

"Maybe she thought your nightgown was different. So . . . what else did she suggest?"

Hanako

"S-she said we should . . . undress each other."

That makes sense, and I have to admit, I kind of like the idea. I have more clothes on than Hanako, so I hold out my arms and motion for her to start.

She's nervous at first, and her hands are shaking as she starts to unbutton my shirt. When she reaches my belt, she fumbles with it a little, but eventually gets it off, and gives me a flustered look when she reaches my pants button and zipper.

Very aware of how much I'm blushing too, I nod for her to continue. She does, and in time, I'm standing naked before her.

Hanako reaches out and touches my scar, letting her own scarred hand rest on it. Her warmth settles some of my nerves, and when her eyes meet mine, she gives me that familiar shy smile. There's a strength behind it, though. She knows what we're doing and wants to continue.

Her eyes trail downward, and I'm not sure what she thinks, but when she looks up at me again, she seems embarrassed.

Hanako

"I t-tried another of Akira's suggestions . . . I didn't think that they really don't go together."

Before I can ask, she motions for me to take off her nightgown, and I bend down to pick it up from the bottom.

Halfway up, I realize she's not wearing anything under it, and I suddenly understand why she felt so warm leaning against me. She must have been blushing with her whole body this entire time.

Our eyes meet again, and I think we see the same thing in each others' eyes, nervousness and love and at least a little bit of desire. Her eyes keep darting up and down me, and now that she stands before me completely naked for the first time, I feel like I'm getting my first true look at her.

All of her.

Hanako

"S-she said going naked under things was s-sexy . . . but you didn't get to take as much off of me."

Hisao

"Next time?"

She nods, clearly trying to hold back a giggle, then pulls me close to her. My hands trace up and down her back, smooth and scarred under either palm. Nobody else in the world could feel like this. She lets out a soft moan, then seems to sink into me, as though trying to press as much of herself against me as she can.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realize this is actually going to happen, and feel myself start to stir.

Her hands roam gently across my back, fingertips moving in small circles. When they reach my neck, she pulls back a little, and starts to kiss along my collarbone, small and light touches. A tingle speeds through me, and I must have gasped, because she pulls back. There's worry in her eyes.

Hisao

"I'm fine. My heart's fine. I just . . . didn't know how that was going to feel. Something else Akira told you?"

Hanako

"Y-yes. Can you . . . try it on me?"

I have to bend a little at the knees, but I kiss across one narrow bone on her left side, finishing at the scars on her right. I kiss across the scars, and her breathing quickens.

When I stand again, she leans in and kisses my scar as well, then gives me the gentlest of pushes. I take a step backward, then another as she continues, until we reach her bed. I sit down, and she sits down beside me, and we embrace once more.

Hanako

"Can you . . . l-lay down?"

The surprise must be clear on my face, as Hanako's eyes go wide. She starts to say something, but I shake my head.

Hisao

"I can, I just didn't think you'd want that."

Hanako

"It's something else Akira told me. She said that if I d-don't have much experience, I should be . . . i-it'll be easier for me to be comfortable."

Of all the things I never thought I'd hear from her, this might top the list. But after thinking about it for a moment, I realize it's a good idea. Part of what didn't feel right about our first time was her not taking a very active role, and if she wants to do it this way, then I really can't refuse.

I lay down, and she slowly lays herself atop me, and I feel her nipples pressing into my chest. From the look on her face, I think she likes this, though there's some of the same unsureness in her eyes. I wrap my arms around her again, and pull her into another kiss.

There's more passion to this than anything we've done before. When we pull apart, we're both breathing hard. She puts a hand on my chest and pushes herself up a little, and I take the opportunity to gently fondle her breasts. She lets out another gasp, and her eyes go half-closed.

Hisao

"Is this all right?"

Hanako

"Yes . . . please, keep doing that."

She leans up more to give me better access, and I let my hands roam across her chest, finding the places that make her sigh or gasp. In time, she gets a dreamy look on her face, and clasps her own hand over mine, and moans again.

Hanako

"Can you p-put it on now? I . . . I want. . . ."

Fortunately, my pants ended up near her bed, so it's only a quick fumble to get the condom out of my wallet. She watches as I slide the condom on, then gently pushes my chest again to get me to lay back down.

Hanako positions herself over me, then slowly lowers herself onto me. She gasps, her eyes going wide once more, but eases herself down until I'm all the way into her. I force myself to concentrate, to not lose control.

I want this to last. I think we both do.

She breathes deeply, her hands hot on my chest, her hips slowly moving forward and back. After a few moments, she eases herself into a rhythm, and I gently thrust to match her, which makes her gasp again. Soft, little moans escape from her as we find our way together.

Hanako

"T-touch me . . . Hisao. . . ."

My hands find her hips, stroke across her legs and rear as she moves on me, then work their way up her back, tracing all along her scars and smooth skin. Her eyes go half-closed again, and my hands reach her shoulders, slide over and cup her breasts once more. Focus on her, I tell myself, focus on her and not on–

Hanako half leans, half falls atop me, and I feel myself start to slide out. I quickly move my hands to her hips again and shift up, pushing back into her. She moans against my chest, then raises her head.

Hanako

"S-sit up. . . ."

Slowly, almost too slowly, I push myself up, still with her leaning against me, and she slides further down on me. As soon as I'm sitting up, Hanako wraps her legs tight around me, her arms as well, pulling me closer to her than I've ever been.

Our sweat starts to mingle, and Hanako grips my hair and kisses me, hard, her tongue darting into my mouth. I start to lose conscious thought, and my universe shrinks to just the two of us, moving together, our rapid breaths and her small noises and the feel of her bare skin against mine.

This is how it should have been the first time, I manage to think. But we got here eventually. And maybe we couldn't have done it any other way.

Hanako's gasps grow higher-pitched, and she starts to tighten around me. I feel myself starting to lose control, and try to fight it off, but she's breathing into my ear and I'm half lost in her scent, and all I can do is hold her even tighter.

Her legs clench and she gasps without a sound, and for just a second, she doesn't breathe. The squeeze she gives me drives me over the edge with one last thrust, and everything goes white.

The first thing I'm aware of is Hanako's heavy breathing in my ear, and our skin sticking together everywhere we touch. She's shaking, but differently than when she's nervous or scared. I blink once, slowly, and find her looking into my eyes. She starts to speak, but it comes out as another gasp at first, and it takes her a few tries to get words out.

Hanako

"I love you, Hisao."

Hisao

"I love you too."

There's no hesitation, no need to think about what to say. Just another kiss.

We soon manage to separate, and after I dispose of the condom, we cuddle against each other in her heavily rumpled bed. I can't help but remember how it was last time, and . . . no, I don't want to think about that. This is different.

This is us together. All of that, all we just did, was for both of us. Because we know we want to be together. Laying there, sharing a pillow, Hanako turns to me and puts her hand on my chest.

I lean in and kiss her forehead, trace my fingers down her scarred cheek, look into her eyes as we both smile.

She sighs, then snuggles against me, her arms curled against my chest, her head under my chin. I kiss the top of her head as she starts to breathe deeply.

This was what we needed. With exams done and the future ahead of us, this was the one last thing we needed to know we'd be all right. No matter what comes, we'll figure it out, one way or another.

We drift off to sleep, together.