Summery; Sam worked to stop the drug trade, so what if he slipped when he lost everything the day Andy died? How does he take it when she starts haunting him? Is she just a drug induced illusion, is she fuelling his need for more? A different kind of addiction?

Disclaimer; I know it's sad, but true- the fact that I don't own it or them! Or anything related.

I don't see Sam's character doing this, but you all know how I write.

I have little to No knowledge about drugs or drug use or side effects, so my facts may be a little off, thanks to my good friend Google, I researched this & hey its fiction, so here goes...enjoy!

Special thanks to everyone that has read/reviewed any of my fic's! You guys are awesome!

And for anyone new to my work- welcome to my world!

Thanks to Kelly2727, she is absolutely awesome!

Chapter 1

Andy was running late as usual.

But this late was not the unhappy, hung-over late it was occasionally in the past. This was more of the blissful kind.

Having moved into her new apartment after kicking Luke warm's cheating ass to the curb, she found a cosy little one bedroom close to the barn.

A place she could finally call home.

A place of her own.

Spending recent late nights unpacking and decorating had taken it's toll on her, but at least it was a happy tiredness. A tiredness that carried a sense of relief and freedom.

Breezing out her front door into the hallway she only hoped that Best would be a little late too, or else it would be 'serve, protect & don't be late' as his closing arguments this morning at parade. Directed specifically at only one person occupying a chair in the parade room.

Her.

As Andy came rushing out of the front door of her building, her running was halted as she caught sight of Best and Detective Boyd climbing out of Boyd's black SUV in front of her buildings doorway.

"McNally, glad we caught you. Can we have a private word?" Best said as they walked over to where Andy had stopped, rooted to the spot where her feet met the pavement, when her gaze met theirs.

She could only nod in reply, as her heart stampeded its way up in to her throat, causing her voice to become a distant silence as panic set in.

Making their way upstairs Andy wondered why her staff sergeant and a detective from Guns & Gangs were making an early morning house call, to her apartment. It wasn't about Sam- he was still patrolling with her. Maybe she was getting an assignment. But that was usually done at the barn.

Unlocking and opening the door to her apartment Andy was nervous about their reasons, and as Boyd walked in to her apartment she saw he was holding a case file and a large brown envelope.

This cannot be good she decided, trying to suppress the waves of panic rolling over her.

Ushering them to sit with a flimsy wave of her hand, Andy took a seat across from them and waited in fearful silence for their explanations to begin, her lip less than tenderly being nibbled between her pearly whites.

"McNally do you remember Ray De Silva? He was a case of your dad's about twelve years ago. It would have been a case study at the academy?"

Boyd was at least straight to the point.

"Um...yes I think so. The one with the bald, tattooed guy who took his kid to a deal that was busted? The kid was shot and killed by an officer in the raid?"

Andy was more worried now with the mention of her dad.

He'd been sober for a while, and was managing to keep it that way. There was no need for something from his past to come back and haunt its way into him slipping off the sobriety wagon now.

Sudden waves of fear crashed over her, as the already deep seeded panic sagged her heart down.

"Yeah. This is him" Boyd said handing a photo from the envelope to Andy.

The photo showed a man, with a shaved head, tattoos up his neck and shoulder, with large dark, empty eyes.

Besides the fact that he was 55-60 years in age, his face held the cold, callous look of a hardened criminal, rather than the soft, experienced look an old man should have.

"Ok so what does this have to do with me now?" Andy said staring at the A4 sized mug shot of the cold eyed man.

"McNally your father was in the first team on the night of the raid. The kid pulled a gun on his partner, a rookie, and Tommy shot the kid. Ray De Silva was arrested on a string of charges and put in prison for ten years, after spending nearly two years on trial, and appealing the first ruling. He vowed then to take revenge on your dad for killing his only child. De Silva was paroled about six months ago and went straight back to his gun running, drug dealing ways. I put a UC in his crew when I heard he was being paroled, coz he's always been high up on the food chain, and kept a tough eye on things from inside, so the UC contacted me about Three weeks ago with information on a hit and your name" Boyd said staring at Andy with an expressionless face. "De Silva has put a hit out on you. He had my UC guy watch you and track your movements. Now he has given the go ahead for you to be dealt with. We have been making arrangements up to now and we're ready to move on the plan".

Andy jumped off the couch as she felt the colour drain from her face, one hand on her hip, the other on her forehead.

"What? Why didn't you tell me this earlier? What about my dad?"

"McNally I'm sorry we couldn't tell you before now in case it slipped out. We know you can't lie to save your life. I'm sorry we had no choice. Tommy is not a target, nor is he a threat. De Silva wants you. He wants Tommy to feel the pain he felt at losing your only child. He wants to watch Tommy suffer." Best spoke for the first time since arriving with Boyd.

His tone was remorseful, rolled with sadness and a hint of uncertainty.

"Sir you're, right I would have not dealt with that news well. But what do we do now?" Andy said in a voice still shaking with panic as she sat back down on the couch, her body trembling.

"It's simple McNally. There is a hit on you. My UC was the one ordered to deal with you. So we're going to do just that- we're going to kill you!" Boyd's cold, ice blue eyes twinkled at the prospect of killing her. The evil look on his face sent shivers down Andy's spine as she wondered if he would really, given the option.

The pleasure he would get out of killing her was defiantly not missed by anyone in the room, as Frank subtly cleared his throat to ease the tension pouring into the room like frozen, liquid blocks of ice.

"Kill me?" Andy shrieked as she jumped up off the couch and began pacing the floor again. "Seriously? No there has to be another way!" Andy pleaded.

"I'm sorry McNally this is THE plan. The ONLY plan. This guy will not stop until you're dead." Best said unable to meet Andy's gaze as he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"That means witness protection and total relocation doesn't it?" Andy whispered as she felt the tears drawing closer.

"Yes. I'm sorry"

"What about my dad?" Andy whimpered out.

"He'll be kept in the dark for a while until things settle down, then he'll be told it was a setup and be given the chance to join you. We have to make it as believable as possible. Look through these. These are guys working for De Silva. Remember their faces. It might save your life, for real" Boyd handed her the file and the brown envelope.

"So when...?" Andy didn't really want to know, but she wanted her last weeks or days to count with her dad and friends.

And Sam.

"Tonight" Best said looking down

"Tonight? No...no... it can't be tonight." Andy yelled as she felt the colour drain out her face again.

"McNally we had to wait to find a body that looked remotely like you. The university got a cadaver yesterday that looks close enough so we need to move on this. I'm sorry we can't wait" Boyd stated.

Almost too enthusiastically.

"A cadaver? What? You're going to show them my dead body? That's going to kill everyone!" Andy was not happy about any of this but knew she really didn't have a choice. It was do or die for real.

Silent anger crept in to occupy her feelings of sadness, and fear, anger at a man she never met. Anger at the Rookie Tommy had protected, anger at herself for being in a situation beyond her control.

Total and utter rage at the fact that the set future was not working according to her five year plan.

"It's in motion McNally. Your shift has been changed to tonight with Swarek and Shaw. Things have to appear normal so we got three guys to swap out with you. I've let them know. Report for parade as normal tonight. I really am sorry" Best said as he stood up and moved to the front door.

Andy felt her heart freeze at the mention of Sam. How could they even think of partnering them together tonight? And Shaw- her surrogate father of sorts.

Seriously?

Boyd followed and they left Andy standing staring at the back of the door as they closed it silently behind them.

With her heart breaking she went in search of her phone.

"Hey dad my...my shift changed can we do lunch?"

Happy with getting a lunch date with her dad one last time she went back to her bedroom and threw herself down on the covers as she broke down in sobs.

Andy had never felt so alone. She had never felt so much fear curse through her veins as it now flowed with fear of the unknown.

Her mom had walked out on her and Tommy, years ago, plunging Tommy into seeking solace at the bottom of a bottle, and her to go without the playful childhood every child had a right to have, having to grow up overnight and become the stable one in their household.

Now she would be doing the same thing- leaving.

Not willingly, and in a way more cruel than her mother had.

She was going to break more hearts along the way than her mother had, including her own.

And there was no way that she would ever be able to come back and apologize, or beg for forgiveness. Unlike how her mother could at any given time, but had never chosen to.

They would be left to wonder about what could have been, or maybe even what should have been, and she would be left to heal her own broken heart if she could ever find it in there to forgive herself for doing the one thing she promised herself she would never do- leave.

As instructed Andy reported for parade ready for the night shift, after a few heart-breaking lunch with her dad, during which he ate and she just pushed her salad around on her plate. Arriving early she hoped to catch Traci, Dov, Chris and even Gail one last time before she left.

She still didn't know how she was going to be 'leaving' but she wasn't worried about that. She was worried that this would rip them apart.

Walking through the barn she glanced up at Best's office as she passed. When he saw her he waved her over. As she stepped through the doorway she saw Boyd standing at the back deeply involved in a phone conversation.

Her stomach clenched as her heart dropped below her knees at seeing him there, now, before shift even started.

Best motioned for Andy to sit as they waited for Boyd to finish his call.

When he hung up he merely nodded in acknowledgment of her presence before launching off into the sordid details of the plan.

It was well thought out and perfected to the letter.

As Andy left Best's office the only thought that ran through her mind was 'this is really happening' making her heart sink at the idea of leaving.

Changing in to her uniform she decided against seeing any of her friends. She wouldn't keep it together if she saw them. Any stolen alone moments were not to be cherished other than in idea now, they would merely be faced as a group in parade due to better judgment. So as soon as she was dressed she went to sit out of sight and wait for parade to begin.

Sam came into the barn and saw the back of Andy as she walked into the ladies locker room. Not missing the fact that her step lacked its usual bubbly spring, or that her swinging ponytail was merely sagged against the back of her neck as she kept her head bent.

Something was defiantly up with her, and by the looks of it, Sam surmised it was not in a good way. Hopefully, he could change her frown to a smile by the end of shift, he thought as his hand reached out for the locker room door.

Making his way into the men's locker room he was surprised to see Shaw already changing.

"Hey brother you got moved too huh?" Oliver asked trying to sound his normal happy self.

"Yeah me and McNally. So how are Zoe & the kids?"

"Good, good. Naughty kids so that means they're fine"

"Um...ok. That's good"

"Hey why you wearing such a happy face today?" Oliver noticed Sam was not his normal dark, broody self.

"I um...I decided something."

"Oh really?" Oliver raised an eyebrow at that non explanatory statement. "And what have you decided that makes that face?"

"Can't tell you, wait until she says yes" Sam said pulling his shirt on.

"What? You gonna ask McNally on a date or something?"

Oliver did not like the sound of that. He knew how Sam felt about his former rookie\now partner, but this could NOT happen today. He knew exactly what would happen tonight and this would not be good. What if he asked early in the shift and she said yes? Tomorrow Sammy would be a man with a broken heart. "Um...don't you think it's a bit soon after...I mean they only broke up a couple weeks ago. And then there's your age difference. I dunno man; she's still young you know?"

"Yeah that's why I'm not waiting around anymore. Why the sudden change of heart Ollie? She's not my rookie anymore" Sam was confused by Oliver's sudden change of heart. He kept saying go for it now he was saying run from it. Not making sense.

"I just think you should wait a while" Oliver said before turning away and leaving the locker room.

Sam shook his head in disbelief as he opened his locker door and pulled out his uniform.

And there you have it, hope you enjoy and please read and review! Next chapter up soon.