Based on an omegle chat I had a while back-being a grammar nazi, the amount of grammatical mistakes in this just about killed me
the original word document was colored so it was easier to tell the difference but FF is quite rude and turns all my text black.
John's chumhandle is ghostyTrickster, this is before he started getting trolled and changed it. sorry for ooc
Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie
You are pestering a random chum:
ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:01
TG: sup
GT: nothing much. You?
TG: pretty much just hanging out being the coolest dude to ever spring fully formed from the head of zeus
TG: so you know
TG: the usual
GT: heh heh, thats pretty chill
TG: you have no idea dude
TG: im so chill you could keep a slab of meat fresh for the week in my abdomen
TG: im so hip i have trouble seeing over my pelvis
GT: sounds pretty cool bro
TG: its sweet man
TG: my names dave
GT: john
TG: sweet
TG: nice to meet you or whatever
GT: haha, same
GT: you sound pretty cool
TG: wait really no way
TG: this is brand new information for me
TG: im just like
TG: fuck
TG: freaking out over here
TG: cool
TG: like what the fuck even is that
GT: haha, quit that you douche
TG: not gonna happen
TG: ever
TG: sarcasm is just one of my many skills
GT: you're a pro at it
TG: i spent years training under a zen sarcasm master
TG: brb
GT: no problem
TG: back sorry
TG: my bro needed something
GT: what did he need?
TG: just some help with a puppet thing he was making
GT: puppets?
GT: those are creepy and lame man
TG: no its pretty awesome
TG: like he has this whole ironic thing going on
TG: theres like layers of irony at work
TG: layers
GT: cool, I guess
TG: its like a cake
TG: made out of onions
TG: except the whole thing is frosted with irony
TG: wow that is an incredibly shitty metaphor but you get my point
GT: sounds pretty gross, but yeah
TG: so what shenanigans are you up to?
GT: I'm kinda hiding from my dad
TG: shit why
TG: is he like
TG: some kind of weirdo
GT: no, my dad's pretty cool
GT: but he's making a ridiculous amount of pastries and cakes in the kitchen and I don't wanna run into that
TG: oh
TG: is he like
TG: gonna hit you with the cakes or something
GT: no
GT: he'll try to feed them to me probably
TG: oh wow
GT: or something
TG: call dcfs dude
TG: hello
TG: yeah my dads baking me cakes
TG: shit what a fucking monster
TG: call the swat team we need to get that poor kid out of there
GT: haha very funny
TG: wow if there were any more sarcasm dripping off that youd have to mop that mess up
TG: youd have people all comically slipping in your wake
GT: shut up man
GT: I'm like a comical god
GT: you're dealing with the pranking MASTER
TG: uh huh
GT: somewhere people worship me
GT: they'll be, "John Egbert, you're amazing!"
TG: yeah sure
TG: maybe like lizard people
TG: the ones crazy dudes say control the government
GT: lizard people? You're crazy
GT: next you'll be talking about aliens or ghosts
TG: yeah right
TG: ghosts totally don't exist
GT: it'd be cool if they did though
GT: who would we call?
TG: i dunno
TG: probably madam cleo
GT: no
GT: we'd call ghostbusters
TG: yeah, see i thought you were setting me up for that
TG: and i was just like
TG: naw man
GT: who's madam cleo?
TG: shes this psychic hotline lady
TG: bro and i prank call her sometimes
GT: that sounds fun
GT: I wish I did that with my dad
GT: he just bakes and collects his weird harlequins
TG: thats weird
GT: yeah
TG: my bro is fucking legit as hell
TG: he gave me these sweet shades when i was just like a baby
GT: that sweet
GT: what do they look like?
TG: theyre all pointy at the ends
TG: like
TG: a really pointy bowtie
GT: so
GT: they're like those anime kinds, I guess
TG: yeah my bro is totally all about anime
TG: ironically
TG: i mean hes not like a weaboo or anything
GT: shades sound pretty sweet
TG: yeah they make me look like a badass
TG: not that I need the help
GT: haha, no you're pretty badass
TG: thanks bro
TG: so are you like some weird forty year old dude lingering on pesterchum chatting up some kids
TG: i mean its cool if you are
GT: of course I'm not!
TG: just would appreciate knowing
TG: in case i need to call creep alert
GT: honestly
GT: I'm 12
TG: okay shit
TG: me too
GT: really? That's cool!
TG: yeah i guess
TG: itd be nice to like be able to drive and shit
TG: and middle school blows chunks
GT: yeah. It's not exactly exciting
TG: i guarantee it's a hundred times worse in texas
GT: you live out in texas?
TG: yeah
GT: is it super hot there with your puppets and shades and irony?
TG: its like the surface of mercury
TG: seriously
TG: like if you go outside without spf 10000000 sunscreen you burst into flames and die
TG: cross my heart
GT: pff
GT: yeah right
TG: no seriously
TG: sun induced immolation is the number one cause of death
TG: look it up
GT: haha, okay
GT: hey, you're pretty cool, dave. Let's talk again sometime
TG: yeah def
TG: dave strider btw
TG: since i got your name Egbert
GT: I'll add you to my chums list, we can talk whenever
TG: cool
TG: same
TG: guess ill talk to you later
GT: yeah. See you
ghostyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]