The little bracket things are Karkat talking by the way. Also, this contains STRONG language.

Dear Journal,

Um, Hi? Man, I can already tell this is going to be awkward. Oh Lord save us all now, It's too late for me to be up. Let's just go with this so I can catch some Z's.

Basically Karkat said I had to write my feelings down on this sheet of paper. I kindly reminded him it was like 2 in the morning and the fucker just smirked and told me to get to it. I sometimes wonder why I'm your friend, Kar. I'm pretty sure this is some kind of law breaking on his part. I mean, there has GOT to be a law stating that best-friends shouldn't make other best-friends write their feelings down a piece of paper. I'm not even really sure what he expects me to write. He should really just talk to me instead. Please?

[Fine! What the hell do you want to talk about!?]

How was your day?

[Fucking amazing, I got yelled at in English for not using the correct word for brain again!]

Did you call it a think pan again?

[It's not my fault Sollux practically shoved his stupid made up words down my pipe during the summer!]

Why are we doing this again?

[See, that right there! That little attitude teenage thing you've got going on! It needs to stop right now! So I'll stop writing and you tell me what's being on your thin-...brain lately!]

Maybe it's because it's been hot and I don't like hot weather? Maybe I'm bummed out about that test on Ancient Egypt on Monday? Why do you assume it's some big thing? Fine, since I'll only get angerly wrote at if I don't tell you. Tavros. There, I all up and motherfucking sai-..er...wrote it!

[What about Tavros is bothering you, Gamzee?]

I wouldn't necessarily say it bothers me in some ways. But...everything about him. His little Mohawk and how it's a nice -the perfect- shade of brown. It's dark but not too dark, it's soft but still slightly rough and tickles your fingers as you brush your hand through it. Or maybe how he always has this little smile on his face when he's done something he's proud of. It's so adorable that it's ludicrous that nobody ever takes notice if it.

[You take notice of it. Why?]

I told you, Kar! He's motherfuckin' adorable and one of my best bros! Us brothers gotta stick together like peas in this upside down daisy world.

[Gamzee, focus. I know you're tired but get through this, Alright?]

Did you get my pea joke, Karkat? Did you really get it deep down in the deep crevice of your brain?

[Fuck you, now get on with it.]

Okay, I'll rant more about him. Like I said, his hair is nice and smells nice too. The small smile he smiles when he's proud is cute. Those are two of his greatest features. Another one? His ability to forgive anybody no matter what they have done to him.

It's like this guy just has nice bones spilling out of his body. Did I ever tell you nice people are nice to hang out around? Well, Tavros is fun and a blast to hand around with. He enjoys attempting to rap with me. I know it's probably one of the most annoying things that a person could ever hear but it's a blast to make the noises and lame rhymes. How long has he been around now? For a few months right? Because I can hardly imagine my life without him. He's affected me that much already in this short period of time.

[Gamzee, answer this question seriously, Okay? When you're around him, does your heart beat faster or is it hard to breath?]

Well, yeah. I guess my heart doe-...Kar. No. I'm not in love with him.

[It would make sense, Gam.]

No.

[Aren't you one for this whole cheesy, romantic nonsense called love?]

I can't be in love with him...it's...just that...fuck I'm in love with him...aren't I...

[I have a feeling that wasn't a question to be asking me.]

Isn't the whole not breathing correctly, butterflies in chest, kokoro going doki doki, a made-up thing for teenage girls?

[...]

So now you're ignoring me? Fine, you win, abandon me in my time of need.

I may just have some small feelings for Tavros, okay? I guess it started back when we would walk to our classes together. We have like all the same classes except 6 block. Which was a miracle of a schedule. So yeah, I just started to get to know him and one thing lead to another and I guess I started liking him more than a bro should.

Then I figured out he had a crush on some girl that's into spiders. She's kinda freaky from what I've heard around the school. Apparently she like ruined his life and yet he still likes her!? How does he even do that? I would try to ruin her life back! Just...no. No. No. No. Not happening! God-dammit Kar, lemme go to bed now!

[Go on.]

Fine, I feel like shit now a days. Not the good kinda shit either. Like you know when you go shopping and you slam-dunk some fresh, sweet glazed doughnuts into the cart and just yell "Awh yeah, Motherfucker! This is the good shit right here!" that kinda feeling? Well my doughnuts are 50 years old and filled with cherry. Not fun man...not fun. You know I can't stand cherry flavouring in my dough nut deliciousness.

Know what sucks major balloons? That Tav is like a chick when it comes to picking a suitable lover or whatever you wanna call it. Girls always go for the douche bag types of guys and it sucks. Like Dave, I can tolerate him but if Tav started liking him there would be heck to pay for both sides. I guess I should be happy for Tav though. He found somebody worthy of his attention. Is it bad of me to be jealous though? Look at me, they aren't even dating and I almost had a minor breakdown when I heard about it. Not to mention I'm preparing for the worst. Know what? I'll be there for him whenever he needs me, but as soon as she starts coming around. I'm out of that place.

…...I'm done...

Yes, I know. Why are you so freaking late with this update? 1. Collage sucks and is time consuming. 2. Friends are time consuming too. 3. Feels over-took me when I wrote a more serious version of this and I had to add some comedy. I promise the next one will have drama and romance and it'll be on time! Thanks for sticking around if you're reading this. I love you!If you see any mistakes in here don't hesitate to inform me! P.S. I will go down with this ship!