This is something completely random - just a warning. It came to me at one in the morning, and my mind just wouldn't let me stop. I was trying to focus on my other OP fanfic (Lawless for those of you who are interested) but my stubborn brain just kept coming up with these little snippets. I'm gonna call it a mini-series because i'm not sure on the technical term ~ the chapters are pretty short compared to a full-blown story. Anywho, I'll stop blathering on and let you get on with the randomness.

Rated T for language, and that's probably it.

**Disclaimer - I don't own One Piece or the characters I've borrowed for this story. I only own the poor secretary, Miss Keats.**

Introduction & Law the Doctor:

I was misled. This was no ordinary public school, but in fact an asylum for the clinically insane.

It must be – all the students here were crazy. Bat-shit insane. Out of their fucking minds. They act like they were raised by wolves…or maybe cannibals. I can never determine which they most resemble. But either way, they're out of control and I've somehow managed to get put in charge of the entire lot – from the frenzied freshmen to the dominating seniors.

I sighed and buried my face in my hands, "How the hell did it end up like this?"

Actually I knew the answer to this question.

It was that damned ginger Principal! The stereotype must be true because that man has no soul! My third day on the job I came to the school's office, sat down at my sturdy desk, and found a pink sticky-note clinging to my computer screen with the Principal's messy handwriting on it.

"Going on a vacation – I'll probably be back. Take care of everything for me, alright?" He signed it with his initials and a doodle of a smiley face giving me a peace sign.

Seriously, a vacation? In the middle of the first semester? Was it a joke?

It wasn't.

That first day I expected him to jump out at me from somewhere and start laughing at how flustered I was, but when I asked the teaching staff if he was serious, they told me that he disappears quite often.

"But isn't there a vice-principal or something to take his place while he's gone? Why do I have to be in charge? I'm just a secretary!" I ranted to the only teacher who would listen.

Miss Makino just smiled calmly at me, "Sorry, there's no Vice Principal – Mr. Principal usually leaves someone different in charge each time. Don't worry; he must think you can do a good job if he's left you in charge."

"But this is only my third day!"

Miss Makino just waved away my frantic shouts and returned to her Home Economics class.

That had been two weeks ago.

That damned Principal still hadn't come back.

"Stupid ginger," I muttered under my breath.

The ringing phone interrupted me from bemoaning my bad luck. I picked it up quickly and said politely into the phone, "This is Keats."

A very distressed voice shouted into my ear as soon as my words ended.

"Calm down, Mr. Vega! I can't understand you when you shout like that," I interrupted.

Great, I thought, Mr. Vega's having another emergency – what is it, the twelfth one since I've been in charge?

But this time the emergency seemed legitimate.

"He did WHAT?" I shouted into the phone after the distressed science teacher calmed down enough for me to understand.

"Oh God," I moaned, "Alright, I'll call him in. I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Vega. I assure you he'll –"

But Mr. Vega was not listening anymore – instead he was sobbing into the phone.

I had no idea what else I could say to ease the man's loss, so I just hung up.

"Dear Lord," I moaned again, "What's wrong with this place."

I placed my hand on the red button on the old-fashioned telephone that connected me to the P.A. System. I spoke into the phone and heard my voice echo throughout the school, "Will Trafalgar Law please come to the school office. I repeat: Trafalgar, to my office, right now."

I hoped that my anger was adequately conveyed through the grainy speaker system, and waited at my desk for the troublemaker to come through the open doorway.

Suddenly a lanky figure appeared looking nonchalant and unconcerned. "You rang for me, Miss Keats?" the sophomore, Trafalgar Law, asked coolly as he stepped up to my large wooden desk. He didn't sit in either of the two overly-stuffed chairs on that side of the desk, but instead continued to stand with his thumbs hooked in the front pockets of his odd leopard spotted blue-jeans.

I sighed for probably the billionth time since my unwanted rise to power – this boy seemed oddly relaxed for someone who'd just committed a murder.

"I just got a call from a very upset Mr. Vega. Do you want to guess what it was about?"

The boy didn't respond. He just stared blankly at me with his cold blue eyes while waiting for me to continue.

"Mr. Vega says that he found you cutting up his pet iguana. Would you care to explain why you decided to kill your science teacher's pet?"

Trafalgar sighed at me as if I were being troublesome and shifted his weight, "Miss Keats, are you aware of the incident last week when the Iguana escaped from his tank?"

I frowned, "Over half of the freshmen students skipped their afternoon classes so that they could hunt it down – so, yes, I recall the incident. What does that have to do with why you murdered the poor Iguana?"

The cold-eyed boy shook his head, "I noticed this morning in Biology that the iguana had been acting strangely and I assumed that those ruffian freshmen injured the reptile in their attempt to capture it. I felt that it was my responsibility to perform surgery on the animal as I was confident that it had some internal damage. Had Mr. Vega not burst into the room and start screaming at me during the procedure, the Iguana would have lived."

By this time my eyes had closed in disbelief and my habit of pinching the bridge of my nose when irritated was evident.

After his calm explanation, we were both silent.

What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

Finally I opened my eyes, "And what, Mr. Trafalgar, did you use to play doctor? Please don't tell me that you actually brought knives to school – you can be expelled for that!"

The boy just continued his cool stare at me, "Miss Keats, a scalpel can hardly be considered a knife. Knives are clumsy and violent, while a scalpel is a delicate instrument. As a doctor, I cannot let you lump the two together."

I ran a hand through my messy hair, "Law, you aren't a doctor – or a vet for that matter! What makes you think that you're qualified to start cutting open an injured iguana? Kids have been expelled for lesser things than this – you're lucky I don't have the right to expel you!" I ranted.

I shook my head and waved towards the door, "Just go, Law – your detention will be posted on the list so watch for it. If you don't show up, it doubles – you know the drill."

The sophomore sighed at me again, as if I were the troublesome person, and turned to leave, saying something under his breath about qualifications, but I was too exhausted to pay attention to him.

This place was going to rupture my sanity.

If that damned ginger Principal didn't get back soon, he'd probably find me dead at my desk with my brains blown out the back of my head.

And this was only the beginning of my troubles.

A/n: lol so feel free to flame or whatever. I know it's kinda random, but cant you just imagine all the crazy things the colorful cast of OP would get called to the office for? Haha and you can probably guess who the ginger Principal is :P

Anyways,

Interesting? Decent? Horrible? You should tell me xD