Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize…

A/N: Wow…um, well I'm actually pretty speechless at the moment because I never thought I'd get this much positive response. Thank you for all of your amazing reviews and I hope you are gonna like this one too.

I like to warn you that this chapter is M rated because there's some smut in it and of course I couldn't stop myself from turning it a bit angsty as well.

This chapter nearly killed me, I think I managed to break my own fucking heart while writing it so please be gentle with me, okay?

Anyway, enjoy and tell me what you think!

Steve has no idea what the General is talking about, all he knows it's some kind of speech and he's fairly certain that he's going to be required to nod and smile and raise his glass at some point later on in the evening.

It's important, he's sure.

He also really doesn't give a damn about it.

Kono is sitting across from him, on the other side of the table, and Steve knows he should stop staring but he's honestly having a hard enough time trying to keep from drooling. Anything else would require more self control than he currently has to spare.

Kono sits ramrod straight, polite half smile on her face with her shoulders bare and her bodice laced up tight, she's all golden brown, smooth skin and so much cleavage that it should be illegal.

Steve can still remember what she'd looked like when she walked in, her skirt slit all the way up to her hips, miles and miles of curves in all the right places and he just wanted to…

"Sir, raise your glass, sir!" Jax kicks him under the table, hissing out of the corner of his mouth.

He's just raising his glass to toast when she finally looks away from the conversation she'd been having and he knows he's busted, he knows he should look away and pretend that he wasn't just leering at her. Instead he smiles sheepishly, feels himself blush, and forgets to drink until Jax kicks him in the leg again.

He needs to get that kid some softer shoes.

They're assigned to some really fancy rooms, because they're guests of honor or whatever and Steve's just poking at the fire, when there's a knock at his door. He figures it's either Jax (the kid has some troubles with sleeping since their last mission) or someone just ending up in the wrong room by accident.

It's Kono.

She's still wearing The Dress, which Steve can't help but giving capital letters. It deserves it. The light blue fabric looks soft and touchable, though not really half as touchable as she does, and Steve picks his jaw up off the floor and manages a smile that he hopes looks friendly and not predatory.

"So how's your room?" He asks, stepping back to allow her in.

Kono shrugs, walking over to his fireplace and kneeling in front of it. Steve stares at the curve of her thigh and feels uncomfortably warm under the collar.

"Well, the feng shui is way off, but there's a separate room for the toilet and there's even running water and the lock even works this time though I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one with a key." She says conversationally.

"Yeah," He manages, which he is sure is neither as cool nor suave as he desperately wants to be. And then he realizes that she's actually starting a fire, and takes a half step closer, "Does your fireplace not work?"

Kono makes an impatient sound, rubbing her hands together when she straightens. The firelight makes her skin glow and Steve grabs his hands behind his back and holds on.

"I've heard fire makes it nicer." Kono stares at him for a long moment, her chin up and her eyes sharp, and then she shifts, looking a little awkward and unsure for the first time since he met her.

For a moment Steve just stares at her, her big brown eyes and soft looking hair and the way she's picking at the fabric of her dress by her hip and then she winces, and ducks her head.

"Oh...Oh!" Steve finally realizes what's going on and he has to catch her arm when she starts for the door.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have - I just thought." She mumbles, staring at the floor. "Well, it doesn't matter what I thought. I hope you have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow and…"

Her skin is so soft when he slides his hand across her cheek, turning her face towards his. She cuts off mid-sentence, blinking up at him, her eyes huge and Steve's still feeling kind of blown out of the water by the whole thing and he shifts a little closer to her, watching her expression for any flashes of panic.

"Oh." He says again stupidly and she makes an impatient noise, grabbing two handfuls of his hair and dragging his mouth down to hers.

Kissing Kono is kissing Kono.

There's nothing else in the world to compare it to, and Steve doesn't even try, he just groans, fingers sliding back into her long, silky hair, cupping the back of her head as his other hand curves around her waist, pulling her against him.

She fits perfectly, and she makes a little sound against his lips when they press together. He can feel all her curves, the swell of her breasts against his chest, the soft lines of her waist leading into her hips and ass right below his hand.

"God, tell me that you're not drunk, or drugged, or being mind controlled." Steve drags his mouth away from hers, staring down at her.

Kono laughs at him, pulling him back down, her mouth sweet and demanding, opening his and taking what she wants. Steve groans and gives and thanks whoever thought to put this big soft rug in front of the fire because there's no way they're getting all the way across the room to the bed.

He strokes his hand up and down the line of her spine, losing his mind a little each time he reaches her shoulders where the fabric ends and her soft, soft skin begins under the pads of his fingers.

"There's a zipper back there. The laces are just for show." She pulls away from him, dragging her teeth across his bottom lip.

Steve growls, pressing his face against the curve of her neck, his hips jerking just a little helplessly. She laughs at him again, but the sound is all fondness, and her hands are pulling his shirt out of his pants, sliding up his back and pulling him closer.

"Come on already, this thing is insanely uncomfortable and it's been cutting off my breathing for the past four hours." She demands and Steve kisses the soft skin behind her ear, reveling in the little breathy moan that draws from her throat as his fingers find the zipper.

The dress slides down her body, and gets hung up on the swell of her hips so he decides to be helpful and push it the rest of the way off, and then he has to make himself take a step back, just to look at her.

The only thing she's wearing under the dress is some tiny white underwear. Steve drags his gaze up and down her body, her mile long legs, the curve of her thighs, the flat stomach, the dip of her belly button, the breasts that she's crossing her arms over.

"Hey, no," Steve says, stepping forward, running his hands down her arms to her wrists, squeezing gently. She's staring at some point around his shoulder, her cheeks stained red, and Steve nuzzles against her hair, rubbing his thumbs in little circles over her wrists, "You're way too beautiful to try to cover up."

"Oh, fuck you, I am no…" She snorts and rolls her eyes, voice sharp, and he kisses her again, sliding a palm down her back and cupping one of her breasts in the other.

She gasps against his mouth after a long moment, one arm curling around his neck, and he can feel it when her knees go weak, the way she sways into him. She gasps, tilting her head back when he mouths at her neck, his thumb sliding across her erect nipple.

"You are," He says, eyes serious and she just nods, mouth red and kiss stung, eyes bright and shining, "So perfect, I can't even believe you want…"

"Well, I do." She cuts him off, voice firm and knowing and then she shifts a little, blinking and biting at her bottom lip, "But could you, um, maybe take off some of your clothes? I'd like to see you naked now."

Steve grins, ducking his head and stepping just far enough away from her to pull his shirt off. He rubs at the back of his neck, suffering a brief flash of panic that maybe he won't be what she expected, but then she's hooking her fingers into his waistband and pulling him closer, making an appreciative humming sound and running one hand up over his stomach and chest.

"Hi," She grins up at him and he can feel her clever fingers working open his pants, pushing them off his hips. Steve smiles back then gasps when she cups him through his underwear, fingers stroking up and down. "So, happy to see me?"

"Very happy. More than happy. Thrilled," Steve's voice is thick and he smiles dopily when she laughs sweetly again and he reaches down to get rid of his underwear because he wants to be naked with her so very, very badly.

She hums, her smile wicked when she steps back, stepping out of her own underwear and then crooking her finger at him. Steve is to her in a second, hands on her waist as he bends over, enough to lower his mouth to her breasts. The angle makes his back ache but it's so, so worth it for the way she grips at his hair, letting out a helpless little sound.

When she sinks down, Steve follows her, kissing and sucking at her skin as she leans back against the thick rug, blanketing her with his body. Her hips are rocking, just tiny little circles against nothing and Steve slides his hand down her stomach, breath catching when she spreads her thighs for him, tilting up into his touch.

Steve groans, squeezing his eyes shut, sliding one of his legs between her thighs and stroking across her cheek with his free hand.

"Kiss me," Kono pleads and he shifts up, finding her mouth with his while she clings to his shoulders, and he strokes light and slow across her clit, listening to the way her breath hitches and feeling the way her body trembles until he feels sure enough to speed up, little circles that have her making tiny little sounds in the back of her throat and when her body bows up it's the most beautiful thing Steve's ever seen.

She's breathing hard, panting against his mouth, and he kisses her and kisses her and kisses her, until she shoves at his shoulders, pushing him onto his back. When she moves over him, straddling him, her hands on his chests, Steve groans and tries real hard not to come just from the sight of it.

"I'm on the pill and I'm clean, you're clean, right?" She asks, her voice breathy.

"I am, I totally am," Steve nods, his hands curving around her hips, and she smiles at him, wild and joyful.

And then she's sinking down onto him, her fingers curling up on his chest, her head thrown back, a keening noise ripped from her throat.

"Oh, yeah," Steve grunts, gripping at her hips, and realizes he's just made it to the promised land. She's wet and hot and tight around him, her eyes heavy lidded and her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

"Oh, fuck, you're…" he tries again but there aren't even words for what she is, because nothing that came before her has ever even come close to comparing.

She curls over him, her hips circling and moving and he shifts to meet each movement, their body's moving in tandem. She's panting, and he slides a hand across her stomach, wanting to see her come again, to feel it from inside her this time, gritting his teeth and holding off orgasm with everything he can.

"Come for me, please, please," He begs and she gasps out a broken breath, going down to one elbow, her body clenching tight around him and Steve jerks up off the rug, pulling her down into a kiss, falling down over that edge.

He was half-way in love with her before but now, he totally is.

.

.

It's been a week.

The stopwatch in Steve's head, the one he can't ignore or push away, says one hundred and eighty-three hours, forty-six minutes, fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three seconds...

The last time Steve saw Kono, the last time he got to hear her was the day he lost her. The mission had been ridiculously easy for once, and they'd been walking back to the chopper, Jax and Harrion scouting ahead, Kono complaining about the field of flowers they were having the trek through.

Steve had been smiling, face tilted up to the warm sunshine, wondering if she'd take poorly to him attempting to hold her hand. Overhead, a bird was circling, so high it was nothing but a tiny speck against the brilliant blue of the sky.

Kono had paused to take a breath, coughing a little from the pollen, and Steve had blinked, remembering the conversation that had been cut off earlier that morning.

"What did you want to know about my family?" He'd shifted his grip on his rifle, managing to ask before she started again.

"Anything. You never talk about them at all. Do you - how do you feel about them?" For a moment Kono had looked deeply uncomfortable, fidgeting with her hands and then she'd lifted her chin, staring at him hard.

Steve blinked, not truly surprised that he had no idea where she was going with this.

"We don't have much to do with each other." He'd shrugged after a moment and she made a face and Steve had taken his sunglasses off, reaching out to touch her arm and then stopping. "Hey, I kind of thought, you know, me and you. That's family too."

Kono blinked at him, and then she'd bit at her lower lip, looking like she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or not. She'd reached out, fingers curling around his wrist, eyes locked on his when she'd said,

"Look, I don't want you to think I was trying to keep it from you. I just realized…and I know I should have earlier, but, look, my stomach is always giving me problems, and in my first year of the Academy I was so stressed and not eating properly and I actually missed five…"

Steve had smiled softly when she had to pause to suck in a breath. She'd opened her mouth, tugging on his wrist again, raising her other hand and straightening his fingers.

That had been when the hum on the edge of Steve's hearing had roared furiously loud, the sound splitting the sky. There'd been a wash of heat along his back, and he'd reached for Kono, the ground jumping beneath their feet. He'd lost his balance between one jerk and the next, the detonation making him going down hard, head cracking against a stone.

Steve had woken up in a hospital bed and Kono had been gone.

They didn't let him keep her dog tags.

.

.

Steve thinks he might be going insane, nightmares twisting through his mind before he even falls asleep.

Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…

He can't control what he dreams, as much as he wishes he could. The achingly sweet dreams intersperse themselves with the nightmares, forming tangled, convoluted webs that make him never want to sleep again. That's not an option. His body is running down, driven too hard for too long, starting to collapse under the constant strain as much as he tries to resist. Tonight they're good dreams, memories that his unconscious mind serves up like gift, wrapped torture.

The first time they'd attempted sex, they'd been in his room. Him sitting on the mattress, Kono leaning over him, her thumbs stroking across his cheeks, her breath hitching against his mouth. She'd been stiff, both of them still dressed.

"Hey, hey, let's – I got that movie you wanted, let's…" Steve had said, lips brushing hers.

But he should have known that there was no arguing with Kono once she made up her mind, regardless of whether she was right or not. She'd kissed him again, harder, crawling into his lap, rubbing her body up against his. He'd tried again anyway, because while he couldn't out-stubborn her, he could come close.

"Kono, we don't have…" She'd cut him off, pulling the back of his shirt up, her fingers warm against his skin.

"Unless it's babbled compliments, you can just keep your internal monologue to yourself." She'd nipped at his bottom lip, pulling back to tug his shirt over his head, tossing it across the room and running her hands up his chest.

Her mouth on his skin had been so very, very, good, quick and clever as everything about her, wicked. Steve had sucked in a deep breath, running his fingers back through her hair, touching her every place he could. And she'd been so tense it had to be painful.

Grabbing her shoulders and pushing her back those crucial few inches had been one of the hardest things Steve ever forced himself to do. And she'd only glared at him for his trouble, skin hot already, her mouth wet and red.

"We're not doing this right now," Steve had said, and she had snarled at him, jerking out of his hold and to her feet, crossing her arms, glaring belligerently.

For a long moment she hadn't said anything and then she'd twisted on her heel, grabbing her boots, snapping over her shoulder at him.

"So, what? Is this the punch line then? I was wondering where it was. Hilarious, really. I'm impressed that you managed to keep it…"

By the time Steve managed to grab her again she'd been almost at the door, radiating fury. Steve had kissed her, her lips hard and unyielding under his until he pulled back and kissed her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her forehead.

"I'm not laughing, sweetheart." He'd rasped into her ear as he'd reached for her wrist, pressing her hand against the swell of his erection.

She'd been breathing hard against his shoulder, every muscle in her body knotted up tight. Her voice came out pissed off, sharp and irritated to cover the confusion beneath.

"I don't – do you want to fuck me or not?"

Steve had grimaced; glad she couldn't see his expression right now. Everything was always logical to Kono, Steve had hated, truly and deeply, whoever had given her the basis for all the assumptions she had about relationships. He'd sighed, nuzzling against her hair again, words tangling awkwardly in his throat.

"Not like…I want you to want this. If you don't..." Steve swallowed, releasing his hold on her wrist, "Then that's okay. But we're not going to do this for any other reason."

And Kono had shoved him away, her expression so flatly blank that Steve knew it had to be covering something, though he had no fucking idea what.

"You can go to hell," She snapped and stormed out of his place, her shoulders squared up, her arms crossed tightly over her chest again. Steve had sat down on his couch, rubbed a hand up over his mouth and cursed even though it didn't do anything to make the pressure in his chest lessen.

She'd avoided him for a week, before showing up at his room in the middle of the night, grabbing him and kissing him hard. There'd been whiskey on her breath and Steve had shushed her when she babbled, too fast and jumbled.

"I'm relaxed now, I am, I am..." And it hadn't taken much to get her to curl up beside him on the couch, her breathing going slow and deep while he stroked her hair. Steve had thought she was asleep when she mumbled, "I want to. I just don't know how you…" She'd made a frustrated sound, twisting to blink up at him, tone going to accusing, "You want things to be weird."

"I want things to be right." Steve sighed.

Kono had only glared half-heartedly for another long moment, before blinking and looking lost. The expression had been fleeting. Then she'd curled onto her side again, closing her eyes hard and eventually falling asleep.

Steve had watched until dawn broke.

Now Steve wakes up, the room still and dark around him, the bed empty. He sits up, twisting, getting his feet flat on the floor so he can stick his head between his knees, just breathing until the urge to throw up or scream or break things passes.

.

.

He dreams about Kono now almost every time he sleeps.

The dreams are sweet, more memories than anything else, and they make it so much worse when he wakes up to find her gone every damn morning. The bed, which had always seemed far too small, now feels expansive. He gets lost in it, constantly cold without her there to warm him.

Steve had thought that he wasn't really going to be sleeping alone again. It hurts more that Kono was the perfect fit for a sleeping partner. Even aside from the sex, just curling up against her to sleep had been comforting, had been everything he wanted. They fit together so easily, her complaints of a sore neck and his arm constantly falling asleep aside.

It had taken him forever just to get her to sleep the entire night with him in the first place. The first time they'd had sex there - it had been their second time doing it - she'd been so jumpy afterwards, startling when he'd slid an arm around her waist and tried to nuzzle against the back of her neck.

Sex had always slowed Steve's brain down, and he'd had no time to form a protest when she squirmed away from him, out from beneath the sheets, and back into her pants. By the time Steve had managed to push up, she'd been tugging on her shirt, grabbing her jacket and shoving her feet into her boots.

"Wait, Kono…" He said but she'd already been gone, out the door and Steve had spent the rest of the night sure that he'd just fucked things up royally, with no clue as to what he'd done, coming up with as many options as he could to get back in her good graces, to get another shot, anything.

In the morning, she'd acted like nothing horrible had happened, which had only confused him more. They'd had sex again, and Steve had been so goddamn relieved, so happy, so everything, that it had taken him a moment afterward to realize she was leaving again.

Two weeks later, two weeks of her sliding out of bed every single time, and Steve had managed to get them in her bed, her fingers clenching against his back, one of her heels digging into the back of his thigh, moving together desperately. And afterwards, she'd gone into the bathroom, came back out, said she had to go down to the gym, and left him there, lying naked in her bed.

Steve had considered, briefly, tying her down, and then dismissed the idea, more than a little disgusted with himself. Kono did trust him, something that he'd earned slowly and carefully. He'd decided to trust her back, even if that meant sleeping alone when he really wanted to wrap around her and wake up with his face buried in her hair.

He'd ended up eavesdropping on a conversation between Kono and Jax as they worked on her bike. It had been accidental, he'd only been trying to bring Kono lunch, but he hadn't walked away when he could have. Not when Kono had snapped, muffled and irritated.

"I don't need to be pandered to. Or coddled."

"You believe he is trying to coddle you?" Jax's voice was clearer, and completely bemused.

Kono had snorted, and Steve had been able to clearly imagine her expression, scorn with a side of impatience that everyone else wasn't seeing things exactly and immediately as she did.

"Of course he is." And then, softer, a half second later, "I mean, why else would he be...you know."

"Maybe he just wants to. You could ask him?" Jax had laughed, just a little, but his voice had been more sad than happy.

Kono's scornful noise of derision for the idea had followed Steve when he hurried away, wondering if they were ever not going to miss each other by a mile on these things.

That night, though, she hadn't gone anywhere. For a long time she hadn't moved at all, stretched out over him, her face buried against his neck, and Steve had been content to run a hand up and down her back, tracing the little twitches still moving through her muscles, still inside her, soft now.

Then she'd shifted, her hand landing near the edge of the bed before she froze, fingers twisting up in the sheets. She'd stared down hard at the bed, leg still thrown across his hips.

"Steve..." She said making a face on the end before her expression started to close down.

"Stay." Steve had blurted, before he could even think, and she'd stared at him for a long, long, time.

And then she'd shifted slowly back, moving ever so carefully as she settled against him, one hand cautiously splayed on his chest. Steve had hummed, keeping his own touches light, and she hadn't slept at all that night. But the next night she did, relaxing against him just a little bit. Steve had woken up with his face buried in her hair, her soft snores brushing across his chest, and grinned stupidly up at the ceiling until she woke up.

It's been fifteen hundred and twenty-four hours, thirty-seven minutes, and forty-two seconds since the last time Steve woke up beside Kono. She'd been up before him, petting his hair and staring softly down at him when he woke, and he'd said, "Hey," rubbing his palm up her spine.

She'd smiled at him, just a little awkwardly, and blurted,

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?" right before Harrison called to tell them that they had five minutes to get ready for their mission.

Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven seconds...

Steve wants to scream.

.

.

Nothing in his – their – place smells like Kono anymore. Steve realizes it one morning while he's drying off, water sliding down his flanks when the towel slips out of his grasp. He doesn't really remember much of the next half an hour, just that it ends with him sitting in the middle of the floor, clutching one of her shirts with his nose buried in the fabric.

It doesn't smell like her. Not even a little bit. It's just cotton.

Steve breathes through the empty ache in his chest. He tries to make himself care about the huge mess he just made, about the fact that he's naked, though not really very wet anymore. It's hard, but he manages, pushing to his feet, neatly refolding everything, putting it all back where it goes.

He knows it's his own fault. If he hadn't been poking at her things all the time, if he hadn't slept better with one of her shirts wrapped around the pillow, then this wouldn't have happened.

Steve refuses.

He can't.

There are too many things he has yet to do with Kono. Too many things he never got to tell her. Too many years that he'd promised himself he was going to live out with her. There's a ring at the bottom of his unused duffle bag that he never got the chance to give her, too afraid that she'd say no and pull away from him, the way she still did sometimes when he pushed too fast or too hard.

The first time he told her he loved her, because it was true, and because he wanted to, and because he'd thought that she wanted – or maybe needed – to hear it, she'd completely shut him out for a week. Steve had spent the entire time trying to figure out how exactly that went wrong, and how to fix it.

He hadn't tried to make it a grand romantic gesture of the confession, because those made Kono uncomfortable. They'd just been drowsing, both of them exhausted, though he had still been able to hear her thinking. And he'd said it, not really expecting a response, because Kono always needed a bit of time to process anything even remotely connected to their relationship.

Her going stiff and fleeing the room had not been the response Steve had been counting on. The subsequent avoidance had been an even bigger surprise. Steve had been sure, then, that he'd finally fucked up what they had, though he had no idea how he'd managed it. For a week she had just been no where he was, and then she'd been back, sitting on the side of the bed when he dragged himself back to his place one night.

"I'm not so good with love," She'd told him and Steve hadn't grinned or laughed, even though he'd been giddily relieved that she was back.

"Yeah?" He had just said and sat down beside her, and squeezed his eyes shut when she leaned her head against his shoulder.

But Kono was always one surprise after another, and she'd tilted her chin up, whispered into the stillness of the room.

"Say it again," and when Steve did, she'd shifted around, pulling him into a kiss. And that had been it, long, deep kisses until Steve thought he might lose his mind and she slipped a hand into his pants to wrap her fingers around him.

She'd been so stiff when he tried to touch her back, like she didn't know what to expect suddenly, just like the first several times they'd been together. And Steve would have thought it was a lack of trust, except that he was smart enough to realize it was just about the opposite, that even letting him try was so hard for her for reasons he wasn't sure he'd ever understand. He didn't need to understand the reasons to understand the effects.

Steve had kissed her, slow and careful and long, until she'd relaxed, sighing against his mouth, grabbing his wrist and pushing his hand down. She had come apart for him, and only then had they struggled out of their clothes, limbs heavy and thick, sleep calling them down.

"You too, you know?" She'd whispered against his chest, when she thought he was asleep.

And he had, because it was impossible not to, after all she gave him.

That had been months ago.

Steve won't let her go.

He can't because he's only had a year with her, really, since they worked their way around their initial problems and misunderstandings. A year of falling asleep beside her, her body tangled with his, her breath warm on his chest and her hair soft against his mouth when he bent to kiss it. A year of waking up with her, of the occasional late mornings they'd managed to steal, where they were all that existed in the world. A year of smiles just for him, dimpled and sure, of mistakes, of successes, of reveling in the family, the home, that she'd given him.

.

.

Eventually Steve handed in his resignation – after he nearly got Jax, Harrison and the new guy killed because his mind was elsewhere – empty eyed and looking like a broken man, before completely dropping off the grid.

He doesn't know how much time had passed since he left the base - days, weeks, maybe months even - but someone is banging impatiently on his door now and when he opens it his arms are suddenly filled with Kono.

"Do you have any idea how hard you were to find? It was ridiculous," She huffs, annoyed a strange contrast to the tears sliding down her cheeks at the same time. "Oh my God, this is where you've been living? It's a mess! Are you actually eating food or just drinking whiskey all day long?"

"Kono," is all Steve manages, pushing her up against the wall, catching her fluttering hands and kissing her slow and deep.

Kono tastes like ozone, salt and coffee, hesitates for just a second before kissing Steve back, before letting Steve lick into her mouth, her fingers curling around Steve's biceps and pulling closer.

Not that there's anywhere closer for Steve to get. He groans, body pressed tight up against Kono.

Kono, who is solid and alive and right here and for just a half second Steve thinks, again, that this might be some cruel dream, promising him what he can't have while he's awake, but then Kono is tilting her head back, her breath is hitching as she tries to form coherent words.

"Steve, Steve, I couldn't find you anywhere, I…"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," He says and nips at the bared line of Kono's throat, feeling the beat of Kono's pulse against his lips, the warmth of Kono's skin, the scent of her filling up Steve's lungs.

"Don't you ever die on me again, Kono, I mean it." He's aware that he's pretty much begging but he doesn't give a damn.

Kono laughs, mumbling something breathless up to the ceiling, and then she's pulling Steve up with a handful of Steve's too-long hair and they're kissing again and Steve just melts into it. Wrestling Kono's shirt off is too much work, so Steve just pulls on it until it rips and jerks the tattered remains off of her shoulders, warm and strong and whole.

Kono nips at Steve's bottom lip, frowning down at what's left of her shirt.

"Nice, I only have two shirts, you know. Well. One shirt now and…"

"I'll buy you more. I'll buy you everything. Anything you want. I'm gonna marry the fuck out of you." Steve isn't really sure what he's saying, promises that might keep Kono from leaving him again, anything that pops into his head. He kisses across Kono's shoulders, all the places he used to know, that he's been dreaming about, trying to drown with liquor and sunshine.

Kono is stroking Steve's hair, gasping up to the ceiling when Steve traces the tip of his tongue around one nipple, hands on Kono's ribs, feeling her breathe, in and out and alive.

"Steve, Steve, Steve..." Kono keens and he sinks to his knees and pulls Kono down, wrapping his arms around Kono and burying his face against Kono's neck and clinging to her.

His fingers fumble over her zipper, but he manages, and it's worth it for the breathy moan Kono makes when Steve pushes two fingers into her. She's tight and wet and familiar and Steve presses his forehead against Kono's, skin sliding slick together as he gasps and pants and manages to yank his own pants open.

Their legs are all tangled together, and Kono has an arm around Steve's shoulders, holding him close, like they're in a cocoon away from the rest of the world. Steve likes that, shifting closer, mouthing kisses across Kono's cheeks, lips sliding against each other, swallowing a groan when he presses into her, hot and slick and fuck...

"Oh, god," Kono gasps against his mouth and Steve nods, shaky, his strokes deep and sharp because he needs, needs, needs...things that he doesn't even know or understand. Kono's fingers are gripping hard at Steve's shoulder, and her skin against his is burning hot.

And right before she comes, Kono jerks, meeting Steve's gaze, brown eyes blown wide and she breaths,

"I came back for you," and Steve makes a helpless noise, tumbling after her, kissing her hard and he is never, ever, going to let Kono go again.

He's gonna kill anyone that tries to take her.

"I wanna go home." He mumbles against her neck right before they fall asleep.

.

.

The thing is that it's all completely random, which just seems so completely unreal and unfair.

They've been back in Hawaii for like two weeks and it's bad enough to have to see people that Steve would rather forget existed.

It's even worse to run into them at a fucking gas station.

"Oh, Steve, it's so...nice...to run into you," Catherine says and she smiles that winning smile of hers. It's amazing how sincere she sounds, and Steve's sure that it's only going to make him sound worse when he can't quite match her pleased surprise.

So Steve decides not to even bother trying. He goes for unconcerned indifference instead, which might not be the best idea either, seeing as according to her, that was the attitude that drove them apart in the first place but it's the best he can do when he nods his head.

"Catherine."

He prays that the entire conversation just gets left at that. She's got her car keys in her hand, along with a coffee from inside. She's obviously paid so she can just get into her car and drive away and Steve can pretend that they never ran into each other, wait for Kono to bring out their coffees, get in the car, and drive until this gas station is nothing but a memory.

But of course it isn't that easy. Catherine tosses her hair over her shoulder and says,

"So what are you doing here? I thought you were still…" She trails off and rolls her eyes, waving her hand in an absent gesture.

Steve makes himself smile. He can do small talk. There was a time when he used to be good at it. He shrugs, leaning against the side of his father's old Mercury Marquis and trying to be as concise as possible.

"Just moved back. I resigned." It's probably rude to not ask her what she's doing on the island, but Steve's still hoping she'll get the hint and go away.

Apparently she's not. Catherine nods instead, taking a drink from her coffee.

"Really? Why? Found something more interesting?" Steve doesn't think that they ever had a conversation this long while they were together. He doesn't see why she's trying to start one now.

"I think so." Steve shrugs again, in any case, pushing his sunglasses a little higher up the bridge of his nose and wondering if he should be relieved or worried to see Kono exiting the gas station and heading towards him.

And then Kono is there, handing Steve his coffee and God, she remembered that he liked sour jelly beans and got him a bag and for a useless moment all he can do is stare down at the candy while he should probably be handling introductions or something.

Or maybe he should just leave the talking to Kono, who's saying, completely ignoring Catherine,

"Are you ready to go? The office is going to be closed for lunch if we get caught in more traffic and Danny called like three times already and I'm afraid that Chin's gonna shoot him soon."

Steve nods, opening his mouth to say his goodbyes to Catherine, who cuts in with,

"Office, Steve? I thought you said you were doing something interesting."

Kono turns to look at Catherine then, raising her eyebrows and frowning impressively. The coffee gets set on the hood of the car to allow for arm-crossing, and Kono says,

"And who are you supposed to be?" with impatience dripping off of the words.

Catherine opens her mouth, and Steve predicts that absolutely nothing she could possibly say would be good.

"This is Catherine. Uh, Catherine Rollins...Captain, now, right?" He blurts before she can say a word.

Steve isn't expecting Kono to suck in a sharp breath, squaring her shoulders up and narrowing her eyes.

"Oh. Catherine. Nice to meet you. I'm Kono," She says, her voice sounding a little funny.

Steve really isn't expecting it when they shake hands, though the way Catherine winces after a moment isn't really a surprise. The two women are just staring at each other, and Steve feels increasingly cut out of the situation.

"Pleasure to meet you. Do you work with Steve?" Catherine says, still cheery.

Kono's mouth does a weird, twisting thing that Steve likes not at all and her voice sounds off when she says,

"Yes, I do. We work together," and she reaches up, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

Catherine's smile stretches a little bit wider and Steve isn't really sure what's going on here, but it's not the tone he wants to set for the day.

Which is why he reaches out, wrapping an arm around Kono's shoulders and pulling her close and tight against his side. She feels good there, and Steve feels lighter than he has since he recognized Catherine, almost gleeful all of a sudden.

"We do everything together, actually. And she's marrying me. Today." He says, grinning like a lovesick idiot.

Catherine's mouth falls open, and Kono twists to blink at Steve. He grins at her, leaning in and kissing her, quick and hard before pulling the car door open. They really do have to get going if they're not going to be late. And Steve really doesn't want to be late.

He waves at Catherine, hood-sliding across the car just for the hell of it and almost busting the fuck out of his hip. Kono laughs at him when he manages to drag himself into the car. When they pull out, Catherine is still staring after them, and Kono reaches out, taking his hand and squeezing before pulling it towards her to press it against her swollen belly hidden under her flowy shirt.

.

.

Kono says things like,

"No, I should probably go back to the HQ now that we're done lunch," and, "I'm not made of glass, Steve," and, "You realize that I was doing hard labor in the first few months already, right?" Then she says, "What? Steve, hey, I'm right here, I'm right here."

Steve nods, because his throat is too tight for him to force out a single word. He knows he might be holding her too tightly, but he can't relax his grip. He thought that he'd made his peace with her kidnapping, with the fact that she was taken from him and nearly killed while carrying his child. He thought that he'd gotten past that.

Now her stomach is swelling with their child, and Steve can feel it against his body every time he pulls her close. He slides one of his hands down to the small of her back, holding her tight and turning his face against her hair, breathing in the smell of her.

She's so warm. She's alive. She's here. With him. Where he can protect her and everything she is to him. He presses a kiss to her hair.

Kono's grip is strong where she holds onto him, her breath is warm against his neck.

"Steve, it's okay," She murmurs and he nods again. "Everything is okay."

"Yeah. I – yeah," His voice still comes out hoarse and Steve makes himself ease his grip on her, leaning back just a little. It's so hard to take his hands off of her, so he doesn't. She's staring at him hard and Steve meets her gaze, sliding his hand around to her stomach, spreading his fingers as wide as he can.

"Hey, I want to – can I talk to him?" He asks tentatively.

For a beat Kono just stares at him, tilting her head a little to the side. She slides her hand down, covering his with hers. He desperately wants to feel the baby kick, but for the moment all he can feel is Kono's heartbeat, steady and fast.

"Fine, fine, but try not to take all day." She says, rolling her eyes.

She takes a step backwards and he follows her, keeping as close to her as he can. She pauses at the foot of the bed, leans in to kiss him, and then sits down slowly.

Steve follows her, bracing his hands on the mattress on either side of her. She reclines back on her elbows, and then moves a little up the bed. Steve curls up beside her, reaching out and slowly pushing up her shirt. The skin on her stomach stretched but still smooth and familiar so he leans over to kiss it softly.

"Steve..." Kono whispers tenderly and Steve shakes his head.

Words aren't as hard to find as he'd figured they would be. He rests his forehead against Kono's stomach, whispers,

"Hey there, buddy. Everything okay in there?" Above his head, Kono snorts with amusement, threading her fingers back into his hair, stroking slowly.

"We're all looking forward to meeting you out here." Steve smiles a little bit himself moving closer, wrapping an arm around her, and then sliding his other beneath her back. It's so easy to just fit himself around her, so he does.

Kono just keeps stroking his hair.

They are finally home.