A Series of Awkward Firsts

The Awkward First Kiss

Ko Yeong-ha's first kiss was with a girl his age, back in Junior High, 7th grade. He supposed that she had been pretty enough. He distinctly remembered that she had been a Russia transfer student whose Korean was poor.

She had been wearing a bright smile when she tried to talk to him, but her language was so terrible he hadn't really known what she was asking until he agreed to it. She'd asked if they could date, as he later found out. Their relationship didn't last long; she'd left back to Russia after two weeks.

Before she got on the plane, she had kissed him. Yeong-ha hadn't liked it, it was wet and her teeth pinched his lip and their noses kept hitting each other.

The experience was memorable enough that occasionally as the Ko Yeong-ha of now slipped into a gay bar for a one-night stand, he remembers her and their sloppy kiss and he promises to himself that when Hon Su-yon is old enough, Yeong-ha will make sure his first kiss is much better.

The Awkward First Time/s

Ko Yeong-ha lost his virginity twice. The first time he had any kind of sex, he did it right. The woman had been older, in her early twenties. Her dyed-blonde hair and large breasts had been eye-catchers.

After his first kiss, Yeong-ha wanted to share this with someone experienced. Someone who knew sex well enough to help him thrust right, find a rhythm, discover what felt good and what he was turned on by.

After he'd fucked her, he had fallen to the side and whispered, "I think I'm gay."

It'd been a surprise, too. He hadn't considered being gay before. But what straight man could fuck a woman and feel so utterly un-attracted to her that it was a turn-off? He hadn't fucked an ugly woman, she barely looked older than 18 and by normal standards, she was considered 'hot'.

Yeong-ha had been glad she had just laughed it off.

"I could tell." She said earnestly. "I was surprised when we started talking and you asked me for sex when my gaydar had been going off all night."

Yeong-ha sometimes wants to find her now and thank her, because yes, he was gay and he probably never would've known if he hadn't had sex with her.

The second time he lost his virginity, it was to a man. He'd been a tall man with broad shoulders and 15 year old Ko Yeong-ha had drooled over him. For the first time, he had wanted to be dominated and taken roughly.

It had felt just about as good as he had salivated for. Finally, Yeong-ha had gotten up the urge to ask the man to teach him some how-to's. After a sticky lesson and another round, they headed their separate ways with a much more knowledgeable Yeong-ha.

Ko Yeong-ha has done his homework on the issue, and most of his bottoms agree that he was taught from the best.

Who knows if Hon Su-yon would ever agree to or even want sex, but there were unbridled forbidden fantasies in his mind that he, Ko Yeong-ha, would be his first. After all, by now he had plenty of experience to make it enjoyable.

The Awkward First 'Adult' Relationship

Ko Yeong-ha had known Hon Su-yon when he'd first had a real relationship. And while Yeong-ha had desired Hon for his mind, he'd desired this one purely for his body.

They both knew it was driven only by sex, considering Yeong-ha and Yashiro couldn't really communicate. And when, in the middle of sex they both had accidently moaned another's name, neither blamed or felt guilt for it.

The affair ended when Yashiro and he left their separate ways. Back in Korea awaited Hon Su-yon after all, and Yeong-ha could find other willing sex. Now if Yeong-ha saw Yashiro, they would first nod politely towards each other and then met up later to fuck out any unresolved sexual tensions they might have.

Having picked up on some Japanese (from Hon, mostly), Yeong-ha reluctantly told Yashiro about Hon Su-yon and how horribly frustrated he was over the three measly years of difference he'd have to wait before Hon was ready for much of anything.

Yashiro told him that he admired Yeong-ha's confidence and that Hon was luck to have only so long to wait.

The Awkward First Confession

A mirror was the first thing he told his feelings to. His nose had scrunched up funny and all Ko Yeong-ha could imagine was Hon Su-yon laughing so hard he knocked over a Baduk board.

It was not his weird face or the image of Hon's laughter that convinced Yeong-ha how stupid this all really was. It was Hon's age.

Ko Yeong-ha was 16. He enjoyed being so and wanted to take full advantage of it. This is also when he realized that when he was 13, and young and inexperienced, he had considered anyone 3 years older than him to be intimidating. If a 16 year old confessed that he or she had feelings for him, he'd have laughed and told them they were well on their way to turning into a pedophile.

Hon Su-yon was mature and talented, but he was still only 13.

Maybe when he's 14, Ko Yeong-ha thought. But then he himself would be 17, and the gap had not yet closed.

He never cursed himself for being born when he was or as old as he is, but he did want to call out to Hon Su-yon, "Hurry up!" or "I'm waiting."

A/N: Okay, don't hate me because I'm finally posting one-shot things. It's just... I was writing this because Hikago had consumed my life and there is nothing for this pairing. (HON SU-YON DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CHARACTER ON HERE AND I WILL KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE THIS IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR BECAUSE EVEN KO YEONG-HA HAS ONE AND HON SU-YON WAS ON A COVER SO AMIRITE OR AMIRITE?)

Rants. If you review, I'll love you forever and reply to you as well.

By the way, Ko Yeong-ha is so out of character here that I fall over and die. So don't read this.