I got this story idea originally from Criminal Minds, mostly just the kidnapping theme, and as it progressed, I added some elements in from different places. There is a lot of violence in this, as Izaya must re-live the ten years he was kidnapped for. Hope you guys enjoy! ^ ^

The warm wind swept through Shizuo's shimmering chocolate-brown hair, as leaves of all colors slowly drizzled through the air. The sun was setting, casting a sweet, orange and red glow that seemed to kiss his tan skin as he walked through the park. Despite this magnificent scene, the brunette couldn't help but feel a urgent sense of adrenaline coursing through his rather tall sixteen year-old body.

Something was wrong. He was worried, but didn't know why. He knew he hadn't forgotten anything, it didn't feel like that. It was something more personal, it had to be something that meant a lot to him, as his heart was pounding, nearly bursting.

Was this some kind of memory? He did recognize the park, but the reasons for being there at such a time escaped him. He only had two friends in High School, and even then, hardly even hung out with them. So why was he in this park in the first place?

A small whimper drew him out of his thoughts, and before he could even register what was happening, his body turned.

It was that raven hair.

It was that thin figure.

It was that boy he could hardly remember. Ever since he could recall, he's been having dreams about this boy, no older then eight with silky, raven-black hair, body so thin he could pass as a model, and eyes faded-rusty-red. Whenever he looked up at Shizuo, his face would blur, blocking any other memories from reaching the burnett; it was so dammed frustrating! He was always in pain, some sort of agony, and that killed Shizuo. There was this deep connection he could feel between him and the boy, yet he couldn't recall his face.

DAMMITTT!

"Shi-Shizu-chan," the raven mumbled with a faint smile, stumbling towards him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." he repeated over and over again. Shizuo wasted no time and rushed over to his side, catching the falling boy in his strong-arms. It was instinct really, he couldn't control what he was doing; it had to be a memory. But this was weird, why would he reach out for someone so they wouldn't fall? Usually he wouldn't care unless their life depended on it.

"What the hell happened?" Shizuo snapped, letting himself gently sit on the ground, pulling the younger boy comfortably in his lap. He wasn't even bothered when the small boy leaned against his chest, as his body was too limb to support itself. It was always like that in his dreams, and the small boy was always trembling.

The trembling is what really got to him, as it yanked at his heart and other feelings in his chest he didn't even know he had. In all honesty, he didn't know if it was a good or bad thing, but he liked it. For once, he could feel a deep connection to someone, something he's never had before.

"Shiii, Shiii-zu, chan..."the boy shivered more, weakly grasping onto the brunet's hoodie. It sent a wave of worry through him and another emotion he didn't understand. What was it, embarrassment?

No, it was more like adoration, but he rarely felt that way towards anyone. But what could it be?

Whatever it was, it hurt; it hurt seeing the small boy like this. All the other dreams were bearable, but there was just something about this one that made him want to rip his throat out.

"What is it..." the name was muffled, making the brute curse to himself. He was never able to hear what the name was; ever. It was so freakin annoying, Shizuo wanted to punch a wall-in.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," the raven repeated, digging his head harder against his shoulder. It only made Shizuo grasp him firmer, resting his chin in that silky hair. "Please... help me."

What? Had the burnett heard him correctly? Did the raven actually ask him, Shizuo Heiwajima, for help? This really was a dream.

"Help me, Shizu-chan, I'm scared. H-he's everywhere!" The small boy's grip tightened, but for some reason, it felt as if he was losing the small boy. His body was getting heavier and heavier, which said a lot coming from the monster, the brute of Ikebukuro. He could lift cars, stops signs, just about anything on the streets, yet a mere boy was heavier then he could manage.

"Shi-Shizu-chan, please, please don't let me go, PLEASE!" The small boy begged, nearly bringing tears to Shizuo's eyes. It hurt, it hurt like his chest being slowly cut open, allowing his guts to flow freely. "He's not what you think, trust me!" The boy continued to cry. "H-he scares me..."

Shizuo wanted to hold him against his chest once more, telling him everything would be alright; but he did no such thing. His other self just remained hugging him, burying his face into the mop of hair. Why wouldn't he listen to the small boy when he seemed this desperate? He was mortified, of course he was gonna take care of him.

But even if he wanted to, it just wasn't possible. The other him just continued to sit there, unable to handle the weight anymore. The small boy shivered violently, gazing up at him through that blurry face.

"Why... why Shizu-chan? D-did I... do something to make you mad? - I-I'm sorry-" was all he could say before his body sunk through the concrete, being ripped from the blonde's arms.

"NOOO!" Shizuo screamed, pounding against the concrete in attempt to reopen the hole that had once been, but to no avail. It was just concrete now. "..., I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" He cried, the name being muffled out again. Shizuo hardly noticed, as he stared at the concrete with absent eyes.

This couldn't be happening.

This couldn't be happening.

"He's mine, now~"

"No!" Shizuo screeched as he shot up, nearly falling off the side of the bed. He was panting, clenching his sheets so tightly he could feel his nails digging in his palms. It was morning, the sun beaming in his eyes which only made him more agitated. At least he hadn't woken up during the night, then he would've really been pissed. But it really didn't make a difference, to him, it felt like he hadn't slept at all.

'Who is that boy...?' He couldn't help but wonder, still staring down at his pure-white sheets. He was confused with the fact that he had done nothing to help him! He was obviously a friend, as he held him so close, and was really beginning to wonder if he was more then just a friend.

No, that'd be silly. Though, he could be one of his cousins, or something. Ahh, this was really beginning to hurt his head.

Buzzz-a-rinnggg! His alarm clock blared, snapping him out of his thoughts. At least he hadn't woken up late for work, he would've smashed that thing against the wall, allowing it to join the pile of shattered alarm clocks. Shinra was beginning to wonder if he should just call Shizuo in the mornings to get him up.

With a sigh, he slumped out of bed and headed for his closet. There wasn't much to chose from, and to be frank, all that was left was one bartender suit. Dammit, all the other ones were either ripped or bloodied; he have to be careful with what he did with this one. He did not want to ask his brother to purchase more for him; he wouldn't be able to bear that.

Grabbing it from the hanger, he headed to the shower. Unfortunately, the water was cold, like usual. Tch, he really hated how he was treated by everyone. He was sure if he went down to the manager place, they'd turn the hot water on immediately; but Shizuo wouldn't be able to handle that. He hated seeing how they all cowered in fear when he showed up. He hated all the glowering looks, as if he was some monster that had invaded the city.

These thoughts blended, and somehow resulted in recalling all the dreams he's had about the small boy as he showered. It never bothered him as much as it did now, was it because he had lost the small boy? Because he hadn't trust him?

Maybe, or maybe it was a mixture of everything. Maybe he was unable to help because of some stupid law. There had to be an explanation for what he did! Or rather, what he didn't do. Dammit, he didn't know how much more of this he could take. He just wanted to embrace that small boy and tell him sorry, even if he didn't forgive him; he just wanted to hold him one last time. He could swear he felt a small body against his, yet the warmth was missing.

'Just who... who are you...?' Shizuo's thoughts trembled, leaning against the wall of the shower. His whole body was trembling by now, the thoughts upsetting him more then he realized. He just wanted him, he just wanted peace at mind, to be rid of this unwavering guilt he felt; and he still really didn't know what he did.

'I'm sorry... I'm sorrry!' That's when it hit him, the cruel reality. He didn't know his name. That was killing him more then anything at the moment. This boy meant so much to him, yet, he didn't even remember his name! It could be due to the depression he fell into when the boy disappeared, he'd believe it. It was easier to forget then to suffer.

But it was just wrong...

He leaned back up, staring up at the water as it fell on his face. Usually it washed his dreams away for the day, but it failed this time. Perhaps this was his punishment.

The sound of his phone going off snapped him out of his thoughts, not even reacting to the noise. Which was odd for him. Usually it made him lunge forward, his reflexes on high alert. Yet, he was calm.

Dammit.

With a sigh, the ran his hand through his dyed-blonde hair and stepped out of the shower. He didn't even bother relaxing as he usually did, seeing how that would be impossible. 'Why, why can't I get you out of my mind...?' He wondered as he picked up his phone.

'New message from Kasuka,' the text read, bringing a smile to his face instantly. His little brother had a chance to text him? This was oddly comforting. But wasn't he filming a movie this month?

He opened the message and let his eyes race against the text, 'Just checking up on you, we're taking a short filming break due to the harsh weather here. If it doesn't let-up within the week, they'll have to post-pone the filming. Hope you're staying out of trouble, I'm sending you some new cloths, because I know you brother.'

The blonde couldn't help but smirk, clenching the phone slightly. He really loved his brother, it was almost as if he knew just what he needed, but that also made it hard for Shizuo to keep a descent conversation with him. He always feared he's say something stupid and screw things up.

Though, now that he thought about it, the boy in his dreams, with raven hair- No, that couldn't be him. Kasuka never showed emotions, which was okay with him. But, in a lot of ways, it seemed like Shizuo loved this mysterious boy more; more then his brother...

Maybe, if he really was close, his brother may know him. It felt weird to ask him, but it was killing him. Quickly, he let his fingers race against his phone, 'Ah, sorry to hear that, but at least you get a break. I'm trying, I really am. I won't disappoint you, promise! - And thanks, it's always nice to receive it from you... Sorry to ask this, but, it's been bugging me... I've been having these strange dreams, about a skinny-short boy with raven black hair. I can't recall his name, but he looked around eight in my dreams. Do you remember me hanging out with someone like that?' Before he could change his mind, he hit 'send'. He felt bad for troubling his brother with this, but he knew if anyone knew about his childhood, Kasuka would; him and Shinra. If Kasuka didn't know, he'd be sure to phone Shinra.

Drying himself off, he quickly changed into his bartender cloths, even though he wasn't a bartender, and forced himself into the kitchen. He wasn't that hungry, but that could be due to the extreme excitement and confusion laid upon him. If the blonde didn't eat now, he knew he'd regret it later.

Throwing some toast in the toaster and eggs on the stove, his phone vibrated again. Without wasting a second, Shizuo scooped it up, only to frown seeing it was from Shinra. Goddamn that pestering doctor, he was in no mood for this. Ahhh, then again, he may know.

'Wondering if you would like to join me, Celty, and Kadota for lunch today, my treat~.'

Tch, another high school meeting event. He never actually cared for them, he always got angry at Shinra for bringing the idea up in the first place. That bumbling doctor just loved him, truly adored him, it was intensely creepy. That doctor loved everyone, wanted to see what 'made them tick', as he described once.

But despite this, Shizuo really thought for a moment. All of them had been with him throughout his childhood, one of them had to know this raven kid! He felt bad for using them, but they'd understand; they'd have to understand.

'Sure, why not? I only have one job this morning, then the rest in the afternoon.' He didn't even have to wait long for the response.

'REALLY! NO JOKE? I'll tell everyone right now!' The doctor responded, making the body-guard scowl. But then again, who knows, it might be fun after all.