Don't Add Me!

Rating: T

Summary: Gauken Slash!AU: Welcome to the wonderful world of Alfred F. Jones. He recently moved with his family to this new town that he totally can't remember, but that's not important. What's important is showing that trash-talking Russian commie who's the real King of Popularity. First things first…find him on FaceBook. RusAme.

BrooklynBabbii

.:Status Update:.

Alfred F'reaking Awesome Jones says: Fucking commie. I am going to kick his ass one day. Just you wait, I'm going to do it! DX

Nov. 6th, 20XX. 2:28 PM. (via Mobile.)

As semi-loud voices drifted down the hall, Alfred slammed his locker door shut. Although, he could have done it a bit more gently, as he forced himself to retain his smile and not glare death glares across the hall. He had freaked out a teacher, just last week, for that. He'd rather not have a repeat of the incident.

It had been very awkward, when he had totally forgotten and gone to her class only for her to freak out and think he was going to attack her or something. It was totally not cool when she called his mom at work. And it was totally not cool when his mom cussed him out and told him, in no certain words, to stop being a dumbass and getting into trouble at his school so soon.

Yeah…He's rather stay on his mom's good side for a little bit longer.

Please don't talk to me, Alfred thought as an inner mantra, as he tried to walk to his next class before the late bell rang. Please don't talk to me. He couldn't afford detention. That was another thing that would kill his good standing with his mom.

He really wanted to stay off punishment for longer than a week, thank you very much. Plus, the newest addition of his favorite game series was coming out soon, and he kind of-sort of- needed his mom and dad to float him money to get it…

So yeah, being on his mom's good side was his goal for the week. He could fuck up later, but for right now, he had to be an utter angel. And being an utter angel, he thought with a deep breath to relieve some anger, was ignoring the idiotic commie laughing with his stupid commie-loving friends a few kids behind him.

He was almost to his destination. Mr. Carriedo's classroom doorknob oh-so close and right within his reach, when—

"Oh, privet, American trash~"

He inwardly swore inside his mind. He was never that lucky, was he? He could never get a damn break! He only wanted to stay out of the principal's office, for one whole week. Is that too much to ask?

God, please strike down this commie bastard, Alfred thought, so I can get my game this weekend. The American teen heard footsteps closing in on him, voices in the tone of farewells and see-ya laters. But he didn't care about that, he only cared about getting through that door, so he could come in on time for once.

Maybe Mr. Carriedo wouldn't have that test today. Maybe, he could take a few actual notes, maybe copy off of Arthur's notes at lunch, so he could have a decent grade in this class. Well, sure he had a C, but he brought home a better grade later, maybe he could win his mom over more.

He had his hand on the doorknob. He was opening the door, he was almost there, and he was right about to put his foot over the threshold—

And the commie shut it back, smiling like an angel who had done no wrong

More like grinning like the Devil, Alfred thought sourly. He knew better than to try to open the door anyways. Explaining a broken hand to his mom had been harder than he thought. Not only did she not buy it, but she drove him all the way to Ivan's house to apologize. Apologize, I know right! Heroes do not apologize! Especially if they were the ones who got hurt! The commie should have been the one to apologize!

"Well, what?" Alfred snapped, "You stopped me from going into my next class, what the fuck do you want from me?" Ivan, being the damn commie bastard, he was, just feigned hurt.

"And here I thought," he began, his voice seeming to drip with sarcasm. "That we were growing to be friends. You haven't said a mean thing to me, all day, da?" Alfred's eye twitched, the blue hue growing a bit darker, as he sighed angrily. He shifted the text and binder in his hands, not look at Ivan, but at the floor where he could see his shoes. He had to remind himself to make a note that he needed to get them washed this week. They looked like they had seen better days.

"Look," Alfred began, trying to civil like the awesome guy he always is, "I don't want to fight with you today. Not today, or tomorrow, or the day after that. I want to stay out of trouble this week, so get your damn commie hands off the doorknob so I can get into class." More like he needed to stay out of trouble this week. But that was details, and those kinds of things were stupid when it came to bigger things.

Bigger things being the late bell was going to ring really soon, he was not in class, and he could not afford detention. He could not afford, damn it! Why wasn't the commie letting go of the doorknob? Was he holding it hostage? Oh fuck no; Alfred was not going to let that slide by!

When the commie bastard still made no moves to let go of the doorknob, and Alfred thought he only had a few more minutes until the bell rang, he said, "It looks like you're going to let go of the doorknob, so I'll do it my damn self."

Alfred slapped Ivan's hand away, and yanked the door wide open—

Just in time, to catch the shrill ring of the bell in his ears. His jaw flopped, as he sputtered incomprehensible things. This was so unfair! It was all the damn commie's fault, bell, not his! The commie held him hostage!

Mr. Carriedo turned around, from explaining something to the angry Italian kid, Romano, to smile a bit at the picture at his doorway. "How nice of you to join us, Alfred. I see you brought Ivan, as well, what a surprise~"

Alfred's eye twitched and he heard Ivan giggle behind him. The tall Russian easily walked around him, a lie spilling from his dirty commie mouth too easily, as Alfred wrecked his brain for an excuse. "Ah yes, well, Fredka and I had to discuss a few things, privately, if you will. I'm terribly sorry, we took so long to finish."

Alfred glared at Ivan's back, as he slid into his seat beside one of his friends. "Shut up, commie!" Ivan raised a brow, from halfway across the room, and said smoothly, "Well, everyone was going to find out anyways. We weren't going to be to keep quiet for long." The commie pointed to Alfred, smirking, as he slid into his seat with a practiced commie grace. "You're too loud for that."

Alfred's face shamed a tomato, as he heard the class have a mixed variation of reactions. Some of them giggled, some gasped, and others looked downright shocked.

Alfred tried to make up some kind of comeback, but Mr. Carriedo beat him to it. The Spanish teacher coughed a bit, to gain the class' attention, and said, "Well…it's nice to see yours and Alfred's…um, relationship is going smoothly. But try to keep those kinds of actions outside of school, would you?" His smile twitched, "Or at least, not outside my classroom…"

Ivan laughed, the commie bastard, felt the need to fucking laugh. Alfred felt like his face couldn't get any redder. What? What! What had he just said? Did he-no, he couldn't be! He just didn't-! Alfred tried to replay the words in his head, to try to make it sound different. But it all came back the same.

His Spanish teacher, one of his favorite teachers out of the whole school, thought he was doing…doing that –THAT – with Ivan? Ivan Bragniski! The commie! The HELL?

Fuck, Alfred thought, his face flaming. Can life get any worse? He groaned at his desk, right next to his smarty-pants British friend, Arthur, and the other's perverted French boyfriend. Alfred thought he had seen his brother earlier today, but maybe the other was skipping class again.

Funny…they had the same schedule, but it always seemed like Mathew was skipping class everyday. If he was skipping class all the time, how the Hell was he making a higher grade than him!

Speaking of life…

"Oh, bueno, clase," Mr. Carriedo began, and his green eyes looked up from marking his attendance log. Alfred saw him mouth down the names. He felt a little bit happy that the commie had been marked late, but then his name came, and then Mr. Carriedo mouthed the word "late".

Alfred groaned inwardly. He was only two more late classes to an afterschool detention. He so did not need this, damn it!

"Alright then," the Spanish teacher chirped, and went for a small stack on his desk. "Here is the test that we've been going over for the past two weeks. Let's see what we need to work on!" Alfred paled, and then his head came into contact with his folded arms on his desk.

Fuck, he thought. He thought he had a little more time… He blamed the commie. For every answer, he didn't know on the multiple choices, or couldn't quite spell on the free response; he cursed and blamed the reason. It was his entire fault, anyways, right?

Global warming, obesity, teen pregnancy, this test –Hell, maybe the commie had a hand in the development of AIDS, for all he knew! – He blamed Ivan.

When he got his test back, at the end of the day, and he saw that pristine A on the top of the paper, he almost couldn't believe his luck. But then Mr. Carriedo frowned, and said, "Wait a momento, this is for Mathew Williams!" Alfred felt his face fall, as his brother suddenly appeared beside him and took his pretty paper, smiling and saying a soft word of thanks.

Alfred suddenly feared for his paper…And he had a right to, as he felt his paper come into his hands face-down. He dared to peek from under it, and groaned. He crumbled it, and made a move to toss it to the trash can, but then Mr. Carriedo said, "I'd really like it if you all had your padres to look over and sign this test."

Alfred paled, and wanted to bash his head into the wall. Oh Hell no, he couldn't show his mom this! He had totally flunked this test! Well, he had a high C, but still! He totally failed in comparison to his skipping brother! He was never going to get that game, at this rate!

"All who bring it back," Mr. Carriedo continued, though Alfred was only half listening. "Get diez points added to their final grade for this quarter." Interest piqued in Alfred. He could always use ten more points to his final grade. How soon did progress reports come out, anyways?

He really needed to pay more attention…

Steeling himself for one of his mom's disapproving tones and words, when he returned home, Alfred took use of his phone in the last five minutes to make an important FaceBook update. He was probably going to get his phone taken away for this, anyways. Whatever.

1 New Notification: Ivan commented on Alfred's status.

Ivan Mother-Russia Bragniski says: I'd like to see you try, comrade. :P

Nov. 6th, 20XX. 2:32 PM. (via Mobile.)

This…practically wrote itself when I was TRYING to write my SuFin story "Blue Embers"…

._. My brother thought it was funny; I thought it was kind of weird. Tell me what you think. Do you want this to continue?

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