Well, this is it! The end, over, finite. Oh Gosh, I'm feeling emotional right now... I do not, and will never, own The Morganville Vampires. Thank you. Also, the reason for my absence from FF is given at the end.
Chapter 22, Running to the stars.
-Claire's POV-
The only solid or noticeable existence there could ever be in this land of black air is me, floating.
I think. I'm not even sure I'm here.
There's a- a- thing calling me, a voice, but I can't move towards it, just as I cannot move away from it. At least, I don't think I'm making any progress, because all I can feel is the soft caress of the still air as I remain in the same place. As far as I can tell, I'm lying down but my closed eyes and dark surroundings disorientate me until I'm no longer sure.
I'm no longer sure about many things.
I can't hold onto any train of thought for long.
Because all there is, and all there ever will be, is floating.
...
A small burning sensation begins itching away at what I presume is my throat.
It's awakening me again. It's pushing away the floating sensation.
But it hurts.
...
Let me sleep.
Let me sleep forever because nothing, nothing could ever possibly even come close to being worth the burning and the itching and...
Wait. Maybe one thing. Two?
But I can't remember what.
Let me sleep!
...
OW!
The burning has moved from my "throat" and is now consuming me completely, scratching away every inch of my being until all there could ever be, is fire and pain.
And, of course, the undeniable thirst the heat brings hand-in-hand.
...
My fingers (IthinkIthinkIthink) curl into my (Ithink!) fists as the daggers increase in their size and tempo, and there's only one advantage I can even begin to grasp at.
It's not that hard to think anymore.
...
Faces and memories flash by with a slowing speed until I can actually begin to diffinerate between them.
They scare me and thrill me and make me want to fight.
Eve, pouring coffee, squealing with laughter, blasting her music.
Michael, fading and then burning as the sun rose, yet never failing, always there, always smiling, even if just to comfort me.
Mum and Dad. Theo and the Goldmans. Hannah, Gramma Day. Poor, dead Richard.
The science lab as it used to be, gleaming surfaces and rusty metal, smelling of acid and fire, smelling of home. Myrnin lurking in the shadows, always prepared with a joke and a book and a delicate, tender smile available just for me, only for me, and a pang in my chest alerts me to my stupidity- how did I never know? Not until the first kiss did I truly let myself that he wanted me, and it wasn't until the second that I let myself want him back.
Shane. Shane making Chilli for my first meal at the Glass House. Shane kissing me whilst we tried to ignore the ringing phone. Shane trying to protect me from my parent's judgment when they came to town. Shane telling me that he loves me as I kissed him, desperate and needing him as we finally made love (ew- yeah, my absence hasn't really improved my feelings for Clane), with nothing but adoration and love filling his eyes, but then time fast-forwards, and all the good times there have ever been is lost to darkness, and are replaced by fire and the screams and the twisted metal that haunts my nightmares, that ended his life.
On a second though- maybe I don't want to fight, after all.
Maybe I should let go. Of the resistance to the fire and to death.
Go to Shane, and leave Myrnin behind- he can live forever, anyway, and I would have to die someday. I would not be turning any time soon.
...
The stars flicker in and out of existence, close enough to burn my eyes but far enough to leave me lonely.
...
Run Claire. Run to the stars.
See what you'll find.
When will I finish searching?
Never.
...
If I was alive, I would be crying.
But I am not alive.
This is it.
...
I'm sorry, I think. I tried.
I honestly did.
The fire rages on just as the cold takes my brain.
...
-Myrnin's POV-
The roar rips its way from my throat, my chest, my very being, as I hugged the body to my chest. Don't leave me Claire. Not so soon. I had wanted- expected- needed- eternity with my little bird, my reason for existence.
"Myrnin, it is over. Claire is dead. She cannot be turned, and even if she could, that path of action would not be undertaken. I am sorry for your loss, but it is for the greater good-" Amelie's cold, unfeeling, damned voice floated over to me, and if I hadn't been so despondent to her stupidity I would have laughed- the greater good? All Claire had ever done since she was sixteen (SoYoungSoInnocentSoDead) had been to help the town, to save the Vampires, and yet her death was for the greater good?
"Leave. Now." I growl, and throw my next words at Oliver as he follows Amelie from the room. "Burn in hell, you darn ffiaidd o fudreddi. Llofrudd."
And then I cry.
Oh, it hurts.
My love, I will follow you soon. I promise.
I love you.
...
...
Holy shit, that is it! Of course I am not crying shut up peasant *sobs in a corner somewhere, whimpering due to all the feels*... This was my first ever FanFic, and It's over, and I can't even describe how thankful I am to my regular reviewers, especially jjrw1998, flora, NarutoRox, Saphy16, bekah-lauren'.D, onceuponBlackSapphireShadows and Guest (yeah, you are rather regular ;))
The reasons I haven't updated in so long is A) There is a new damn season of Doctor Who B) I was recently diagnosed with depression and C) Authors block! I just wanted to do this final, last chapter justice, and even though it isn't perfect, I think it's adequate. Maybe.
I won't be updating any of my other stories soon- so sorry- but if you want a quick one-shot, them PM me here, Twitter, Tumblr or Ask FM (the links are on my profile, btw) and I will churn one out for you ASAP.
Once again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story, and enjoy all the imaginary love I am sending you!
Chloe xxxx