This story was written by Writer With Sprite and NightmareWorld. Hope you like it! We don't own Alex Rider.

"Rider, get over here!" the guard called. "I said get over here, now!"

Prison sentences were a pain in the ass, Alex Rider thought. Especially since what he'd been arrested for hadn't actually been his fault.

"Get over here, Rider, and mop the damn floor!"

And since that wasn't his job, it just made things worse.

The guard huffed before stalking over to Alex, grabbing him by his arms and shoving him back against the wall. "When are you going to listen, kid? Get. The. Hell. Over. There." With that, he spun Alex and flung him on the floor.

Alex picked himself up off the floor, glaring at the guard. "I came over, already!"

"I dragged you over, you didn't come over! Get up! God, what's the matter with you? Why don't you cooperate?"

"Because I want my phone call!"

Stupid Tom, always wrecking his evening plans.

"You already got your phone call, boy, you already got your trial, too." The man sighed. "Your towel is there. Don't tell me you're too good for work, just get busy. Can you not understand how this works?" he asked, grabbing Alex by the shoulder. "Are you deaf, boy? Answer me!"

"No, I'm not, but no one answered the phone."

"That's not my fault." The man reluctantly let go of Alex's shoulder before leaning against the wall. "I hate newbies, always so full of themselves. Okay, boy, go clean up the room. The sooner you can do it, the sooner I can let you get back to your activities. And don't say another damn word about the phone call, you only get one."

Alex rolled his eyes, starting to mop the floor.

## break ##

The phone was ringing as the spy entered the house. He didn't answer, figuring it would be rude to. The door had been locked, so he... kind of broke in, really, but he didn't want to say it like that. Since Alex was a teenager, he figured he was just still sleeping in. It was eleven o'clock on a Saturday, anyway. Not absurdly late to sleep in...

As he began walking down the hallway, looking around with the intent of being intrusive, he heard the phone keep ringing. No one had answered it yet, and he didn't see a living soul in the entire house. Ben came to the kitchen eventually, where the phone was ringing. He glanced at a calendar on the fridge, making sure it wasn't actually Friday, a school day. On Tuesday, the calendar was marked, "Jack returns from parents' house. Get groceries."

The phone beeped. "Alex, good God, why aren't you picking up your phone? Oh, right, why am I calling your house? Oh, yeah... To try and get ahold of Jack. JACK! WHERE ARE YOU! ALEX HAS BEEN ARRESTED. And it's not my fault! Well, actually, it kind of is... I mean... you know... but... anyway... uh... if you could call me back... this is Tom Harris... Alex's best guy friend... Alex, who's going to hate me for the rest of his life, may have kind of gotten arrested 'cause we lit something on fire... Well, I lit it on fire... Anyway." the phone beeped.

Ben looked at it. "Oh, I know what happened here."

The phone started ringing again, with a bring, bring, bring...

This time, he answered. "This is the Rider household, but most of the people who you would want to talk toare currently somewhere else."

The person on the other end of the line quickly answered. "You're not from the Rider household! Unless... Alex lied... and Jack is dating... Or are you trying to kidnap Alex? Look, why can't you people just leave him alone? It's not his fault! "

"Because I'm trying to rescue him from jail, apparently, dammit. Is this Tom Harris?"

"...Maybe," he responded, tone completely guilty.

"Okay, Tommy boy, Alex Rider's 'best boy friend', where are you?"

"In Italy, because I had plane tickets that I couldn't refund, and my brother is down here. I only get to see him once a year, and my parents are out of the country, so I figured if I explained it to him, he could come get Alex out of prison, but he hasn't picked me up from the airport yet. I'm not sure if he's actually allowed to bail Alex, but I don't see why not, but it doesn't matter 'cause he hasn't picked me up yet, but I don't know how else to get Alex out- Wait, you said you're there to get him out of jail?"

After the absurdly long run-on sentence, Ben had to pause a moment to think about the last question. "...Sort of."

"Awesome! Great! Except there's just one problem..."

"I think you need to explain the whole situation to me, since the only thing I'm getting from this is that Alex got arrested and it's your fault, but you ditched him to go to Italy."

"Because my parents would have castrated me if I didn't! Look, the problem is, I know Alex got arrested but I don't know what jail they took him too. They were arguing about taking him to the adult prison or the minor's prison..."

"What is he under arrest for, and is he guilty?"

"No, I'm guilty, but I'm a fleeing suspect in Italy. Damn, when I phrase it like that it sounds bad!"

"It is."

"Um, we kind of set a fire... I mean I set a fire... but they wouldn't believe that I did it... they thought it was him..."

"What did you set on fire, and was it accidental or on purpose?"

"Define 'on purpose.'"

"Did you mean to burn whatever you meant to? Or were you trying to burn something else?"

Eagle chose that minute to walk in the room. He had volunteered himself to come pick up Alex because he was bored and their unit was on leave. "Ben, why are you on Rider's phone?"

Tom spoke up again. "I didn't mean too. It just sorta happened. And actually, it was only because someone shoved their lighter at me, and my hands slipped."

Ben gestured for Eagle to be quiet. "Somebody shoved their lighter at you? What kind of people are you hanging out with? And what exactly did you set on fire?"

"I didn't set anything really serious on fire..."

"Fox! Fox! He sounds like me, let me talk to him!" Eagle gestured wildly for the phone.

"No." Ben turned his attention back to the phone. "What did you set on fire? You've got to give me something so I can figure this out."

"Let me talk to him!" Eagle said as he grabbed at the phone, somehow managing to slip it from Ben's hands. "Hey dude, it's Alex's other best friend. Except for not really because I haven't seen him in awhile. What did you set on fire? I like to set things on fire too, but there's a time and a place for everything, you know?"

Ben snatched the phone back, whacking Eagle solidly on the head. "The last time you saw Alex, we were in Hell!" To Tom, he said, "Ignore him. Now, what did you set on fire? Don't dodge the question this time. And Eagle, if you say or do one more thing that is not helping me, I will have you under arrest."

"Actually, it's nice to know other people set things on fire too. We kinda set a beer can on fire. In a parking lot. It kinda exploded, and lit up the pavement. But there were no buildings around."

"That's it? Why did they think Alex did it?"

"I don't honestly know. Really, I feel like neither of us did it. The beer was on the ground, the lighter was shoved at me and I slipped. I think they saw Alex first. Who's the other dude? I like him better. Does he really set things on fire? Anyway, is this enough information to help Alex? Because I see my brother... oh, if it helps, we were arrested ten miles from Alex's house. I think. Maybe it was a little closer..."

"Who shoved the lighter at you, and why was he there?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then a sniffle. "Uhm... the bully in school kinda did it. To get back at Alex. 'Cuz they say he's a druggie."

Eagle was practically jumping up and down at this point. Why Wolf had thought it was a good idea to let him have caffeine, Ben would never know. "Wait! Wait! Our Cub has a drug problem?"

"...Anyway... so that's my side of the story. So, can you help Alex? 'Cuz you sound like you know what you're talking about... and then I don't have to buy another ticket right away."

"No, I just sound like it because I'm trying not to strangle you across the phone, although I can settle for my moronic friend next to me. Yes, I'll look into it. Do you know exactly where you were?"

"Yeah, ten or nine miles from here in an empty parking lot. You'll find it. It's got caution tape wrapped all around it. They'll probably have police officers still there, too. I think they might've found a body at the scene. Now that I know we didn't have anything to do with."

"Why did the body get there? If you didn't have anything to do with it, what do you know about it?"

"I don't know! Shit, I gotta go, my brother's here! Thanks for bailing me out!" The phone clicked off.

"Hey, Fox!" Eagle said. "Guess what! Guess what! This means we get to have an adventure now, right? The Find Alex Adventure!"

Ben stared at him for a moment. "Why couldn't I have gotten today off?"

"Because you chose to accompany it with me and Alex! Remember?" Eagle grinned. "Come on! Let's go start our adventure!"

## break ##

A guard came to the jail cell where Alex was laying down. He hadn't cleaned the floor fast enough and had been left out of that day's activities. "Come on, Kid. Time to get up for lunch."

He got to his feet, and followed the guard out the door. He made his own way to the table.

"Half an hour for lunch," the guard said, putting the tray in front of him. "Be good," he added.

One of the other people looked at Alex, scanning him up and down. "Who're you, how long're you in here for, and why you got Guard Jenkins accompanying you?"

Alex looked at him for a moment, and then blew out a breath, not finding it in him to be angry at Tom this time. "I don't know why he's following me around, and I've only been here for the last day."

"What're you arrested for? We don't usually get new people in in the middle of the week. They deny your bail or something?"

"Yeah."

The kid turned towards Alex skeptically. "They give you your phone call?"

"No one answered."

"That's not how the phone call system works. They're supposed to make sure that you get a message in. How old are you, anyway? You don't look eighteen."

"Well, there's no one else I can call, and they're not letting me try again. I'm sixteen."

"Why the hell are you in here then? Junkie, you're what, nineteen?"

"Yup," Junkie spoke up. Junkie, like Alex, had blonde hair and blue eyes. The difference between the two that Junkie had a trail of needle marks down his arm, leaving Alex with a very visual image of where Junkie had gotten his name.

The kid shook his head. "These people don't know how to run a prison, I swear. Yo! Mike!"

Mike walked over and looked at the kid. "What, Lawyer?"

Lawyer grinned. "Kiddo didn't get to make his phone call. Think you can work that out?"

Mike glanced at his watch before sighing and glancing at the other guard."I really wish they'd fire him. I can't tonight until he gets off shift, but then, yes. Wait-what's your name?" he asked Alex. "And how old are you? 'Cuz you don't look eighteen."

"Sixteen," Alex and Lawyer chorused.

Mike slapped himself. "I swear, if the government doesn't remove you, I'll remove you myself. Your nickname should be 'removable.' Hey," he said, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket as the other guard left the room, "write down your name, phone number, and address."

"What?"

"Are you deaf, kid? He's gettin' you your ticket out of here. He's gonna call your peeps. You got parents, right?"

"No... I've got a friend who usually stays with me, but she's visiting her parents in America, and I don't know that number. The friend who got me into this mess is probably in Italy with his brother right now."

"Translation: you're up a creek without a paddle," Mike filled for him with a shake of his head. "Okay, tell you what. Give me your information, I'll make a phone call anyway. If I don't hear back by tonight, you and I are going to have a meeting and I'll contact someone to bail you out. You don't deserve to be in this prison, kid. Wait-were you the one who got brought in because of the body thing?"

"Yeah, I don't know how that happened though. My friend accidentally blew up a beer can bottle, but it wasn't entirely his fault. This guy from our school shoved a lighter at him, and he wasn't expecting it, so he dropped it. Well, the guy who did that was running from the cops, because that lighter had been given to him by the guy who he'd just shot. They'd had a disagreement over drug money, I think, but it's not like I was pressing him for details." At their expressions, he sighed in dismay, and said, "It's complicated."

"Okay." Mike took the note. "I'll see what I can do. Lawyer, I think you're Removable's cell mate, so keep him out of trouble and away from Brick, okay?"

Alex, used to all the crap that was being thrown at him, looked wearily at them. "Alright, who's Brick?"

"He likes boys," Mike said. At Alex's confused look, he clarified. "Young, underage, blonde boys." With that, Mike left the table.

"My life somehow just got worse."

## break ##

Mike sighed as he left the message on the phone. "Hi, this is Mike Turnips, a warden at the Rehab Jail for Adults. Alex Rider was arrested today and he needs to be released. The address is..." with that, he gave the address and the phone number, and hung up.

## break ##

"So, Ben. This is our operation: Finding Alex Rider," Eagle said as he held the camera, recording what they were seeing. "We're now scanning the streets, looking for any sign of a 'crime scene' on a parking lot that's obviously been burned." He turned to Ben. "How does this make you feel, Ben?"

"Like I'm going to murder you in the middle of the street, and I won't be able to help Alex 'cause I'll be in the jail cell next to him."

"...Come on, you can tell me how you're really feeling. Don't be mad at me, I'm helping you. Look, there's crime scene tape!" Eagle pointed to a small section of sidewalk, not more than 100 feet, that was wrapped off because the sidewalk was chipped.

"I know! That's why we're walking in that direction!" Ben stormed up to one of the police officers. He'd already called Ms. Jones to explain the situation, and she had allowed him use of his MI6 badge.

"Move away from the scene, boys, no cameras here," the first police officer said. "This is just a sidewalk that needs replaced, we're just trying to keep people from destroying it."

Eagle spoke up. "But I like taking pictures, and he said it was okay."

"Eagle, shut up!" Ben turned to the officer, and the officer cowered slightly, noticing the irritation in his expression. The agent whipped out his badge, flashing it right in the officer's face. "MI6. I need to know where the kid who was arrested was taken, and if you don't know, point me towards someone who will. I am not in a good mood, so don't piss me off further. Eagle, close your mouth before you say something stupid."

"...No teenagers were arrested last night," the man responded as he crossed his arms.

Ben rolled his eyes. "Then who did you arrest, because I got a call from his best friend saying you arrested him right here."

"Son, I don't know who told you that, but we're simply repaving the sidewalk. The friend might've been talking about the shooting on Cleveland and Jose, but that's a ten mile radius away from here."

Eagle snickered. Ben glared at him. "I'm murdering his friend, and then you. Maybe vice versa, if you don't stop laughing." He looked back at the officer. "I don't know this area very well, because I don't live anywhere near here. Was there a fire there caused by a beer can exploding?"

"Nope," the police officer said, crossing his arms. "What about a soda can? Or an energy drink can, that coulda been mistaken as a beer can?"

"Sure, why not. Something exploded, and the guy who was talking to me didn't seem to be that bright. What do you know about what happened?" Ben asked the officer.

"Actually, yes. We did have an energy drink can explode, three blocks south of here."

"See Ben! I was right! Thanks officer dude! Come on Ben, I'm stealing your keys!"

Ben grabbed the back of Eagle's jacket, stopping him from taking off. "And were the two crimes related? The shooting and the exploding?"

"No, we had two murders last night. There was a guy who was stabbed to death at the scene of the crime. You'd have to go there to talk to them about it, though. I don't know the details."

"Which murder was closest to the energy drink exploding?" Ben was seriously debating calling Wolf to have him get Eagle off his back, but also just to have the intimidating man simply stand behind him to help him get answers faster. He wasn't sure if he was off duty, though.

"I'm calling Wolf, Ben! He can glare at the man we're questioning, and help get you answers!" With that, Eagle slunk away. "Hey Ben! I'm calling Snake in too, okay?"

"The stabbing," the officer said. "We think the fire was to cover it up."

"Where did it take place?" Over his shoulder, he yelled at Eagle, "No, don't do anything. Just stand there, okay! Stand in place! Don't call anyone, don't go anywhere, don't move! Don't even breathe!" He looked back at the officer.

"It was on 79th street, in between Halestrom and Harrisburg. If you take this road down three blocks, you'll find 79th. Just take it until you see Harrisburg, and right past that will be more police tape."

"Alright, thanks a lot. I'd say forget you ever saw me, but I know that's not going to happen, and it's really not that important." Those were the magic words to say to make people keep it down, and really, it wasn't that important. He turned and walked off, dragging Eagle with him, who had taken the "don't breathe" bit a little too literally.

"Oh, and Ben! I ignored you on one of your comments! I called Snake, and Wolf! They'll help bail us out! Isn't that great?"

"Yeah, they're going to have to literally bail me out because of you!"

"Don't strangle me, I'll catch it on camera! Come on, let's go see if we can beat them to the murder scene! Is this how you usually spend your days, because this is fun!"

## break ##

Lawyer pointed to the bed next to Alex. "And that's where I sleep, although hopefully you won't be there toni- Bricks, what the fuck're you here for? Go away!"

Bricks smiled. "We got new meat. How old are you, new meat?"

Alex gave him a funny look, and decided not to answer him, remembering what everyone had said about the man earlier.

"I asked, how old are you!" the man said, grabbing onto Alex's shoulder. "He doesn't look eighteen, Lawyer."

"Look, he's clearly not interested in you, so let him go," Lawyer responded.

"Why let him go when I could have him moved into my cell? Would you like that, Pretty Boy? That's gonna be your new name from now on. Pretty Boy."

"You can go to hell," Alex retorted, yanking his arm away and kicking the man in the stomach at the same time. He doubled over, and Alex walked away, ignoring him like it had never happened. "So, do they usually have three people to a room here?"

"...Not usually..."

"Hey, Bricks! Get over here, we're changing your cell tonight and you have to clean it out. You'll be rooming with Lawyer and Removable. We need an empty cell for the prisoners we're bringing in."

Bricks smiled at Alex and licked his lips before reaching over to tousle the kid's hair. Before any of the guards had reacted, Alex reacted first. As a result, Bricks lost any and all methods of sexual reproduction for the next two weeks. He was carried out in a stretcher with blood running from his nose.

Lawyer looked at Alex. "You could've just let Mike bail you out," he said reproachfully.

"Well, he still can," Alex replied. "It just might be a bit harder now, and you honestly can't consider that to be my fault, can you?"

"...I meant, you could have just ignored Bricks for now...I've heard he's harmless than everyone says he is."

"He certainly is now."

## break ##

"Okay. Okay. Yes, meet me at Rider's home, since you actually know where that is, and then we'll go to the crime scene together. Yes."

Eagle hit the phone. "Hey Ben! There's been a new message!"

"Eagle, leave Rider's phone alone!"

"Hi, this is Mike Turnips, a warden at the Rehab Jail for Adults. Alex Rider was arrested today and he needs to be released. The address is..."

"Hey, Ben!" Eagle called. "I think that I know where Alex is!"

"You have got to be kidding me. We ran around all day, and they leave a voicemail? Damn it, let's just get it over with tonight. I don't want to leave him in jail for the night. God knows what'll happen if he does, 'cause someone's going to come out with blood on them, and it won't be the kid."

"Oh come on Fox, maybe it'll be fun to leave him in jail! It's not like there will be any sexual predators after him or anything!"

"...I didn't need that image. Let's go get him."

"Did we find the brat?" Wolf demanded as he opened Alex's door. "Hi, Fox. I thought you could handle Eagle. Did he give you too much trouble or something?"

"You gave him sugar, so don't bitch to me about him being too much trouble! And apparently, 'the brat' got arrested because of a friend of his and is currently taking the fall. Where's Snake? He needs to take our friend off my hands before I strangle him." He shot a glare at Eagle.

Snake chose that minute to appear. "I thought you were a spy, Fox. Not someone who bails people out of jail. Eagle, didn't I say not to drink three cans of mountain dew before you left the house?"

"The person I'm supposed to work with on my next mission happens to be Rider, the person whose house we're standing in, and he was arrested. We called Wolf in to get people to answer questions faster, but I don't know why the rest of you are here."

"That's the only reason why you dragged me down here? To bail out your partner? Who is he?"

"Cub. Don't complain, now let's go get him. Eagle, Snake, stay here in case someone comes back, like either of his friends, or on the off chance he makes it back."

"But I have to go with you! I have the camera!" Eagle pointed out. "Come on Snake! We're going to go in your car!"

Snake shook his head as the two stepped out the door, Snake with every intent of not letting Eagle leave.

"And when the other units mock us for not having any alcohol on leave, this is why," Wolf muttered. He clapped Fox on his back. "C'mon, let's go bail him out."

## at the prison ##

Snake stepped out of the car with Eagle. "Eagle. Act like an adult," he instructed as he turned to Fox. "Sorry, Fox. I tried, I failed to keep him there."

"I noticed," he dryly responded. The agent led the group up to the entrance to the prison. He flashed his badge at the officer by the door to let them in. The guard frowned, but unlocked the door so they could get in.

The guard said, "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are closed."

"We're not here to visit, we're here to bail out someone. Now, where do we go for that?"

"Sir, you can't-"

"Do you want me to call my superior on your ass? Because I work right under the head of my division."

"N-no sir, we just h-had an injury... I-I-'ll deal with it..." With that, the man practically ran to the other room.

Another guard came out. "Visiting hours are over, like he told you, and I can't bail anyone out today. I'm not in a good mood."

"I'll tell you where you can stick your bad mood," Ben snapped, "because it's not up to you about when you want to let me bail someone out or not. Do you see the two scary SAS men behind me, and the trigger happy one who just had a lot of sugar? One of the innocent people who's here saved all three of their lives," he fluently lied, "so you damn well better let us bail him. What paperwork do we need to fill out?"

"None. Do you understand me? You aren't getting him out, and what's your friend doing there with the damn camera?"

"Oh! I know! I know! We need Mike! We need Mike!"

Ben ignored the man, dialing a number on his phone. "That's it, I'm calling Director Jones."

The guard sighed before yanking the phone out of Ben's hand. "You're not allowed to have phones in here."

"Yes you are." He snatched the phone back. "Otherwise you would've had a sign. Hey, Snake, do you want to go find a guard who actually knows how to do their job?" Into the phone, he said, "Yes, Director, we're still working on it. We're trying to bail out Rider... No, because they're not listening to us. This bloody idiot is telling us we can't bail him out, because he's, and I quote, "not in a good mood"... Yes, that's what I told him."

Another guard looked nervously between the five of them, and then hurried around behind the desk, trying not to make it look nervous. He pulled out the paperwork for them to fill.

"No, don't give him that! He's not allowed to bail anyone out! I told him that already!" With that, the guard took the paperwork and stormed off. "And he's obviously making that phone call up! Nobody knows who Director Jones is. I certainly don't give a rat's rear end. Rider stays here!"

With that, Mike Turnip came into the room. "Who are you?" he asked Ben, his eyes narrowing. "And who are you here for? I heard someone say Rider's name."

"Director, hold on for a moment." He pulled down the phone from his ear. "We're here to bail him out. Who are you?"

"I'm Mike Turnips. I know where Rider is, and I'll get him immediately. We found the suspect who killed the person and started the fire, so Rider is free to go. Got that, Mark?" he told his co worker.

Ben took the paperwork he was handed, starting to quickly fill it out. Snake leaned over his shoulder, and muttered in his ear, "You have the director on speed dial?"

"No," he muttered back, "but my mother is very confused right now."

Snake bit back a snort while Ben said an excuse and apology into the phone before hanging up.

With that, Alex Rider came out of the room.

"What happened to him?" Ben demanded instantly, seeing the kid's tousled hair and the blood stain on his uniform.

"The other guy looks a lot worse," Alex said, responding to the words and not the voice. Then he took note of who was bailing him out. "You guys?"

"Yes, and we spent all day looking for your sorry ass, so you better change that to a thank you! And what the hell do you mean, the other guy looks worse? What did he try to do, force you in his bed or something?"

"...Something like that. Can we go?" Alex's expression of irritation and disbelief cut off all other remarks. "I'll probably be back, though, because as soon as Tom gets back, he's dead."

"Oh, no," Ben said as the two walked out the door, the SAS soldiers trailing behind, "No no no. I do not want to go through that one ever again."

Eagle picked that minute to shove the camera in Cub's face. "Hey Cub! I haven't seen you in a long time! How does this whole experience changed you?"

"You know what," Alex said suddenly, "take me back. Just take me back."

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