Author's Note: You should know two things before you choose to read this story: I'm American and I write in script format. Wait, wait, wait... don't run off just yet. The American thing, I can't help. I'm only telling you so that when I say words like "suspenders" instead of "braces," you'll know why. If someone says something in an un-British way, please let me know. I'll fix it. The script format... you might not hate it as much as you're thinking. I hope you'll give it a shot!

As for the story itself, just know that while I like Rory and I completely respect his place on the show and his love for Amy... well, this is a story about Amy and the Doctor. And it's a bit of a love story. Maybe it's when she's forgotten Rory. Maybe this is an alternate universe where Rory doesn't exist. Whatever. He's not here.

I hope you enjoy, and I always always always appreciate feedback. Oh, and this is my first Doctor Who fic so criticism works as well as praise. Thank you!

FADE IN:

INT. TARDIS - DAY

The TARDIS is quiet. A gentle hum drifts from the console...
from the heart of the TARDIS. The Doctor bursts frantically
through the door, dragging Amy behind him. He spins around,
flinging Amy to the side, so that he may secure the doors.

AMY
Doctor, are you okay?

Distracted, he spins bobbles and pushes buttons on the
TARDIS control console.

THE DOCTOR
Yes. No. Well, yes.

AMY
Choose one.

THE DOCTOR
Long-term: yes. Quite okay.

The doctor kicks his shoes off. Amy shakes her head.

AMY
Short-term?

THE DOCTOR
No. Not quite okay. Quite not-okay,
actually. Thanks for bringing it
up, though-that gloomy detail.

Amy watches for a beat as The Doctor tugs off each of his
socks, not keeping his balance well in the process.

AMY
Well, what's wrong?

Barefoot, The Doctor steps up to her-close and in her face.
He's dead serious when he asks:

THE DOCTOR
Am I hot?

AMY
(taken aback)
Um... what?

THE DOCTOR
Am. I. Hot?

The Doctor shrugs out of his jacket, letting it fall to the
floor behind him. He continues to undress throughout the
scene with Amy taking note, but trying to ignore.

AMY
Well, objectively speaking, you're
a bit unusual-looking what with
your funny, floppy hair and all,
but I suppose-what are you doing?

THE DOCTOR
Keep talking. You suppose...

The Doctor pulls his suspenders off his shoulders.

AMY
I suppose, on the whole, you're not
entirely horrible to look at.

The Doctor scoffs and shakes his head. He grabs Amy by the
shoulders and shakes her... just a degree above gently.

THE DOCTOR
I am speaking strictly thermally
here, Pond. Although, did you say
my hair was-

AMY
Funny. And floppy. Yes. Thermally?

The Doctor drops his hands from Amy's shoulders. She uses
the freedom and proximity to grab his suspenders and yank
them back onto his shoulders.

THE DOCTOR
As in with respect to my thermal
properties, yes.

The doctor slips off his suspenders again.

THE DOCTOR
So, please tell me: am I hot?

The Doctor tugs at his bow tie.

AMY
Oh, God. Why didn't you just say
so? You think you've got a
temperature or something?

THE DOCTOR
Well, we've all got a temperature,
haven't we? Though I do suspect
that, currently, mine might be a
teensy weensy bit elevated.

Amy puts the back of her hand against his forehead. She
pulls it back quickly as her eyebrows shoot up.

AMY
Doctor, you're right. You are so
unbelievably hot right now.

The Doctor pauses, bow tie in hand. He cocks an eyebrow.

AMY
Thermally speaking, of course.
(she glances at his tie)
Because bow ties... are not hot.

THE DOCTOR
I know. They're cool.

Amy groans.

THE DOCTOR
But, at the moment, I'd like for
this one to kindly release its grip.

He makes to untie the knot, but Amy swats his hand away and
works more gingerly (ha) on the tie.

AMY
So, we've established you're hot.

THE DOCTOR
Can I out-of-contextually quote you
on that in the future?

Amy glares and finishes with the bow tie. She throws it in
his face.

THE DOCTOR
So, no, then?

The doctor quickly untucks his shirt and unbuttons it to
reveal an undershirt.

AMY
Really, what are you doing?

He slips the shirt off and throws it in the growing pile of
clothes at his feet.

THE DOCTOR
Dying.
(he wobbles his hand)
Ish.

AMY
What?

The doctor reaches down to undo the button on his pants.

AMY
Wait, whoa there.

The Doctor meets her eye.

AMY
You're not that hot.

THE DOCTOR
I beg to differ.

The doctor pulls his undershirt off.

AMY
Oh, I bet you do, but-

The doctor silences her by throwing his undershirt over her
head. She pulls it off, revealing a scowl.

THE DOCTOR
My normal body temperature hovers
just a scoche above 15 degrees.
Currently, I'm at about 75 degrees,
which, by the way is more than
twice the average human standard.

AMY
If you already knew your current
body temperature-and how it
compares to the average human-
why'd you ask me if you were hot?

THE DOCTOR
Because... even in moments of
extreme thermal stress, I'm not one
to shy away from such an obvious
double entendre.

The Doctor smirks. Amy pegs him in the face with his shirt.
It falls into his pile. The doctor shrugs and reaches for
the button on his pants.

AMY
Oi! Keep your pants on, Doctor.

THE DOCTOR
I was planning on it; I'm not that
immodest. But these trousers have
to go.

He reaches for the button again. Amy grabs his hands. He
looks down at her hands over his then back up at her.

THE DOCTOR
What? You're not even curious?

AMY
About what?

THE DOCTOR
The age old question...

Amy looks mildly horrified.

THE DOCTOR
Boxers... or briefs?

QUICK CUT TO CREDITS.