Kurt has a dream where Blaine breaks up with him and leaves a short note to say goodbye. When Kurt wakes up and finds the man responsible for his heartache sleeping right beside him, he's very angry and lets him have it. Confused!Blaine. Mostly crack.

This is basically a Klaine version of a scene from an Ally McBeal episode. So no, most of this is not my own.

Disclaimer: I don't think anyone wants to be responsible for owning Glee right now.

I'll Deal with You There

It started out as a good dream. A wonderful, romantic dream, actually. Blaine was being his fairy-tale –prince-like self and took Kurt out on a romantic dinner to celebrate something Kurt can't remember because it didn't seem important enough. It doesn't even feel like a dream at all. It feels so real when Blaine grabs his hand from across the table and kisses his fingers. It feels so real when Blaine gives him a long and hard kiss from inside their car after they're finished eating.

It also feels excruciatingly real when Blaine tells him he can't see him anymore right after said kiss.

"What do you mean you can't see me anymore?" Kurt nearly whispers, yet it sounds like he's shrieking at the top of his lungs at the same time.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. But I've found somebody else. Remember Sebastian from high school?" And okay, maybe Kurt should have guessed he was dreaming as soon as Blaine said that, but it all still seemed so realistic. Kurt could only nod. "Well I ran into him a few months ago and I'm moving with him to California tomorrow. I'm in love with him."

Kurt shook his head. "Why'd you take me out on this date, then?"

"It's a goodbye present!" Blaine seemed so fucking excited. Kurt wanted to freaking punch him so badly right then. And if he knew it was a dream, he probably could have. But instead, Kurt started to cry. Kurt started to cry in the most pathetic way, and asked Blaine to take him back to their apartment.

Blaine dropped Kurt off and told him he would be back in the morning to say goodbye and collect his things. And then he drove away without a glance.

The next morning, still in his dream, Kurt awoke to a note next to his pillow. When he opened it, all it said was:

Goodbye.

I'll miss all the fun times we shared

And then Kurt woke up, releasing himself from his dreamland.

Kurt couldn't comprehend the anger and absolute hatred he felt for his boyfriend. No, ex-boyfriend. How dare Blaine leave him for Sebastian! After all Kurt has done for him? How could he have the nerve to do such a thing!

Kurt turned over slightly on the bed to find a very familiar warm body next to his, and Kurt remembered quickly that he was only dreaming. The note was just a dream. But Kurt, at the moment, didn't care. He was far too angry.

"Oh that's nice," Kurt spit out and shoved Blaine forcefully in the shoulder. "That's really nice, Blaine. Really nice. Really, really, really nice, you pig!" Kurt babbled, accenting every word with more shoves, effectively waking up a very confused curly-haired man.

Blaine turned around groggily, giving his boyfriend a very bemused look. "Baby, what-?"

"No, you just-you never mind 'what.'" Kurt pointed his finger in Blaine's face forcefully. "You left me with a note. You couldn't even be a man about it, could you? Pig. Pig. PIG." Kurt was practically spitting in Blaine's face.

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Kurt, Wha-"

"No, no, no, no, no. You shush. Now I…I had a dream that you left me-"Blaine nodded slowly, finally understanding. "-and I didn't like the way you did it."

Blaine sat up and put his hands in his lap. "Well, Kurt, it was a dream-"

"Well, I don't care, okay? Because it felt real." Kurt knew he was being way too over-dramatic and ridiculous, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it could've been real. It could've happened, and Kurt would be heartbroken and lying in the exact same bed they were in now, sobbing for Blaine to come back to him.

Blaine was thoroughly confused by now. "So…"

"So shush. Don't you talk to me. I'm gonna go back to sleep and find you in my dream and I'll deal with you there!" Kurt turned over abruptly and pulled the rest of the blanket over on his side. Blaine just sat there, completely blanket-less and addled. Kurt had never, not even when he was angry with him, called him a pig. Or told him to shush.

Jesus, it must've been a really realistic dream, Blaine thought as he turned over to try to go back to sleep. God damnit, I'm cold.